Being stuck and existential angst

[Enantiodromia]

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[waybread]

Welcome to the forum.

Your chart shows a couple of signatures for low self-confidence, or what I sometimes call, "It hurts to be you."

One is sun conjunct Chiron. Chiron is a little planetoid that symbolizes either physical or emotional wounds that don't heal. However, if we stay open to them, we gain in wisdom and compassion for others.

As you grow and learn from your present situation, you may find that you know how to comfort other shut-ins, because you've walked in their shoes.

Another signature is moon square Saturn. The moon rules your emotional nature, and Saturn often shows where and how we feel inadequate or not good-enough.

Fortunately Saturn also rules self discipline, so you may want to take just a few baby-steps towards coming out of your self-imposed isolation. You can implement them as a part of your routine.

I note your Leo rising. Leo has a lot of pride, but if that pride is wounded, the Lion may retreat to its den to lick its wounds. But at some point, Leo needs to come back out into the sunshine. Then Virgo can be the worry-wart of the zodiac.

Have you been in therapy yet with a licensed counselor or clinical psychologist? Unfortunately they're not all equally brilliant and helpful, but if you can find a good one, they're invaluable. A good place to start in counseling would be those traumatic experiences from your youth.

Best wishes for your journey.

[Enantiodromia]

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[waybread]

I would recommend giving counseling another try. I've been through it, as has my husband, and we've also been in marriage counseling over a period of 23 years or so. I also attended Al Anon meetings for a while (the AA-related group for family members of alcoholics.)

Some of the counselors/ psychologists were neutrally unhelpful, but the most recent one has just been amazing.

The orb is rather wide, but it occurs to me that Saturn retrograde would be getting closer to an in-orb opposition with your sun by progression. This aspect is another self-esteem combatant.

Saturn can be one of the easier planets to work with, however, because he represents self-discipline, frugality, and hard work-- qualities most of us would benefit from. I have Saturn retrograde opposite my sun natally, and as its orb gets closer by progression, it is a battle to keep myself from self-blame or guilt over things that I did so long ago that I cannot possibly rectify them. And that probably weren't such horrid things to begin with.

I view Saturn as my wisest teacher. He also teaches patience. Because Saturn rules shame and fear, he also teaches courage and self-acceptance.

[Enantiodromia]

Thank you for the responses waybread I appreciated your insight

[waybread]

Beyond my first post? What more would you like to know-- specifically?