You state that you have overcome your sense of being a victim.
Good for you.
At what age and stage of your life did you come to this victory?
Blackbery, it is hardly a one-time process. We can stop feeling victimized by our parents in our 30s, and some time later, begin to feel victimized by a spouse or a job. Late in life, people might feel victimized by poor health, estrangement from family, or especially by death of loved ones. I would say that my life got a whole lot better in my late 50s, as I was able to take an early retirement and move to a beautiful part of the world.
I ask because you seem angry that people don't just pull up their socks and stop with the self-pity because you think it's time.
I'm hardly angry, Blackbery! Perplexed, yes. You seem angry at me.
Have you walked a mile in their shoes?
Do you understand the insecurities and pain of a person of color?
Or a gay person?
Obviously we can never fully understand what life feels like to another person. But we can listen, and we can try. I follow a lot of news, and am particularly concerned about social justice and human rights issues.
What about you, Blackbery? How would you rate your own sensitivity?
Your problems might be considered trivial compared to others. Regardless, you felt like a victim because of the circumstances of your life. If you had confided in a friend at the time and they told you to "pull yourself out of being a victim" would this have helped you? Or would have liked a person to listen to you, to validate your feelings and to offer emotional support?
Blackbery, I took the old "est" training in 1980 (now Landmark) and continued with their seminars and workshops as my location permitted through about 1994.
http://www.landmarkworldwide.com/ I don't know if you're familiar with them, but this was/is one of the human potential movements. The old "est" training was actually pretty brutal, although Landmark today seems to have gone more for corporate clients.
While I no longer wish to participate in Landmark, and I believe that founder Werner Erhard retired in disgrace, in 1980 it was a huge wake-up, precisely because this training wasn't about touchy-feely emotional support, but about becoming more honest with ourselves, and letting go of the kinds of disempowering stories we tell ourselves. It has continued to shape a lot of my outlook.
After that I also put myself into therapy with a clinicalpsychologist to deal with debilitating PTSD, and twice into marriage counseling. I have some spiritual convictions, also, that I find helpful. Thankfully my life now is going pretty well, and I am blessed with a loving husband, family, and some dear friends, but I don't take anything for granted.
You might have planetary aspects that make you stronger emotionally than others. My family history is littered with suicides because of situational depressions and inability to deal with certain situations. One family member took her own life because her husband left her for another women. Another took his life when he lost his job and couldn't support his family and felt like a failure.
Blackbery, I am sorry for your bereavements. As I said in my OP, I don't deny or trivialize actual tragedies that people encounter, or debilitating mental health conditions. I lost both my parents by the time I was 35, and a brother in 2014 from cancer. My mother descended into depression and alcoholism at the end of her life. It's not like we don't need to grieve.
My concern is more with what seems to be people who are unwilling to let go of disempowering self-images, even when their narratives about themselves make them really unhappy. I think they want their lives to improve, or they wouldn't come here. Surely astrology opens a window for chronically unhappy people to feel better about themselves.
Allow people the time to mature and evolve at their level. Allow them to accept and overcome their pain and suffering (or victim hood as you call it).
Well, we can hardly do otherwise, can we? We don't control their lives.
“I did then what I knew how to do. Now that I know better, I do better.”
— Maya Angelou
A great quote! Thanks, Blackbery.