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  #176  
Unread 08-29-2016, 03:20 PM
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Re: He found me attractive before: if he pursued me first, what made him change his m

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Dirius, does the chart tell you WHAT in me he found unattractive and does it tell you what drew him to me in the beginning...or can it only tell you whether or not he thought I was ugly?
Maybe your lack of confidence was unattractive to him? I have friends who have trouble dating because of their lack of confidence. They look to whoever they are dating to give them compliments and build up their self esteem and that can be draining to the person on the receiving end. I would find it annoying if my husband constantly looked to me to boost his self-confidence and same goes for him with me. A confident person who is mediocre looking physically will radiate more than someone who initially appears like a God/Goddess but is extremely insecure.

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  #177  
Unread 08-29-2016, 05:09 PM
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Maybe your lack of confidence was unattractive to him? I have friends who have trouble dating because of their lack of confidence. They look to whoever they are dating to give them compliments and build up their self esteem and that can be draining to the person on the receiving end. I would find it annoying if my husband constantly looked to me to boost his self-confidence and same goes for him with me. A confident person who is mediocre looking physically will radiate more than someone who initially appears like a God/Goddess but is extremely insecure.
Yes, I think that's a huge part of it. It's a pattern I have.
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  #178  
Unread 08-29-2016, 05:18 PM
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Smile Re: He found me attractive before: if he pursued me first, what made him change his m

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Yes, I think that's a huge part of it. It's a pattern I have.
You started an 8 page Thread!
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  #179  
Unread 08-30-2016, 02:11 PM
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You started an 8 page Thread!
Let's hope it doesn't become 9 pages...
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  #180  
Unread 08-30-2016, 02:34 PM
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Re: He found me attractive before: if he pursued me first, what made him change his m

what is wrong with page 9?

it is not like page 13th
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  #181  
Unread 08-30-2016, 05:59 PM
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Re: He found me attractive before: if he pursued me first, what made him change his m

Personally, I like crafts spirit. Even through her confusion and personal involvement in this, and the anguish of being rejected, she has still found the energy to answer back any swiping remarks. (And there has been plenty swiping marks towards her, although not everyone she aimed at was swiping).

I know Craft has been emotional but the guy has clearly escaped the full brunt of judgement.

If you had been one of those girls that was more complacent or yielding, the guy probably would have came back for more. So you're actually doing a great job of protecting yourself from those who are not worthy of you.

Like that sword in the stone, only the worthy can take on the task of trying to pick it up. The guy who left you was clearly one of those idiots not even willing to invest in honest conversation.

Gads, he sounds an idiot. He either has major problems of his own, or he's a big *** over-grown baby incapable of sound intellect.

You scared the guy off, if anything, I'd laugh and be proud of that.

*raises glass to a strong woman*

Last edited by Bluebell87; 08-30-2016 at 06:06 PM.
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  #182  
Unread 08-30-2016, 07:15 PM
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Re: He found me attractive before: if he pursued me first, what made him change his m

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Yes, I think that's a huge part of it. It's a pattern I have.
Step one is being aware of your pattern, so step two is to work towards changing/breaking the cycle. It won't be easy, but once you do it you will feel like a weight has been lifted. I know many women (myself included) who are too harsh on themselves and let that get in the way of feeling good about themselves. You just have to truly believe you are amazing and it will all fall into place.

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Personally, I like crafts spirit. Even through her confusion and personal involvement in this, and the anguish of being rejected, she has still found the energy to answer back any swiping remarks. (And there has been plenty swiping marks towards her, although not everyone she aimed at was swiping).

I know Craft has been emotional but the guy has clearly escaped the full brunt of judgement.

If you had been one of those girls that was more complacent or yielding, the guy probably would have came back for more. So you're actually doing a great job of protecting yourself from those who are not worthy of you.

Like that sword in the stone, only the worthy can take on the task of trying to pick it up. The guy who left you was clearly one of those idiots not even willing to invest in honest conversation.

Gads, he sounds an idiot. He either has major problems of his own, or he's a big *** over-grown baby incapable of sound intellect.

You scared the guy off, if anything, I'd laugh and be proud of that.

*raises glass to a strong woman*
I agree with all of the above, but while she is acknowledging it all and taking it all with good stride, her next step is to change whatever it is that has been holding her back from happiness. Yeah, that guy could be a jerk but she should want to feel happy in her own skin. There is one quote that makes me want to vomit and it's some Marilyn Monroe quote that goes on about if you can't take me at my worst then you don't deserve me at my best. That is a load of ****. No one should have to deal with someone at their worst on a continual basis. But in general I hate all Marilyn Monroe quotes because I think she isn't really a strong role model for women and she is constantly quoted and memorialised as being this Goddess. Kind of off track here, but whatever!
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  #183  
Unread 08-30-2016, 07:42 PM
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Smile Re: He found me attractive before: if he pursued me first, what made him change his m

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Originally Posted by anjelik View Post
Step one is being aware of your pattern, so step two is to work towards changing/breaking the cycle. It won't be easy, but once you do it you will feel like a weight has been lifted. I know many women (myself included) who are too harsh on themselves and let that get in the way of feeling good about themselves. You just have to truly believe you are amazing and it will all fall into place.



I agree with all of the above, but while she is acknowledging it all and taking it all with good stride, her next step is to change whatever it is that has been holding her back from happiness. Yeah, that guy could be a jerk but she should want to feel happy in her own skin. There is one quote that makes me want to vomit and it's some Marilyn Monroe quote that goes on about if you can't take me at my worst then you don't deserve me at my best. That is a load of ****. No one should have to deal with someone at their worst on a continual basis. But in general I hate all Marilyn Monroe quotes because I think she isn't really a strong role model for women and she is constantly quoted and memorialised as being this Goddess. Kind of off track here, but whatever!
With all that Libra, maybe some middle-ground between feeling "inadequate", and your suggestion, "amazing". Like "worthwhile".
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  #184  
Unread 08-30-2016, 09:38 PM
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Originally Posted by anjelik View Post
Step one is being aware of your pattern, so step two is to work towards changing/breaking the cycle. It won't be easy, but once you do it you will feel like a weight has been lifted. I know many women (myself included) who are too harsh on themselves and let that get in the way of feeling good about themselves. You just have to truly believe you are amazing and it will all fall into place.



I agree with all of the above, but while she is acknowledging it all and taking it all with good stride, her next step is to change whatever it is that has been holding her back from happiness. Yeah, that guy could be a jerk but she should want to feel happy in her own skin. There is one quote that makes me want to vomit and it's some Marilyn Monroe quote that goes on about if you can't take me at my worst then you don't deserve me at my best. That is a load of ****. No one should have to deal with someone at their worst on a continual basis. But in general I hate all Marilyn Monroe quotes because I think she isn't really a strong role model for women and she is constantly quoted and memorialised as being this Goddess. Kind of off track here, but whatever!
Yeah definetely, next step is learning to foresee potential disasters and not letting your guard down so readily next time. Protect your heart.
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