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  #26  
Unread 11-07-2016, 10:02 AM
demetraceres demetraceres is offline
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Re: Attracting Narcissists in a person's natal chart

Abby83 and MadArchitect: as I see it what you are talking about are personal patterns that have an origin in childhood conditioning. It would be helpful to understand and feel the circumstances in which they have occured.

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  #27  
Unread 11-07-2016, 10:22 AM
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Re: Attracting Narcissists in a person's natal chart

Quote:
Originally Posted by MadArchitect View Post
Po



I understand maybe you should also look at your transits and progressions

you have scorpio rising and the ruler of your chart pluto is on the 12th house
Your sun is on the 12th house too.
But the sun in t he 12th is not the issue

Pluto in the 12th is the real deal here pluto in 12h its a very paranormal psychic position
it can give psychic abilities

Pluto its a magnetic planet and placed on the 12th house can make the matters of this house very intense, and powerfull

but i believe even we have difficult positions we can still control the situations

Have you ever heard about the law of attraction?

When you think about something too much it can manifest around you

What we tend to feel think and analyze a lot it can really manifest around us.


I noticed this to myself ,whenever i think about something too much it tends to happen
in real life

whenever im thinking and obsessing about a person too much then next moment hours
That person shows up to me,o r even call me or texts me(crazy i know)

or i remember couple months ago i was thinking and analyzing much about

"Why people always pay a lot of attention to me for no reason?"

And the more i was thinking about it ,the more it was happening..
it was really annoying

Since i stopped thinking
and obsessing about people and situations the negative manifestation stopped!

you should do the same,try to think and analyze much about the things you want in your
life ,
And avoid to bring negative thoughts in your mind

try to not think a lot about the things you dont want,because if you do. these thoughts
will manifest.


dont forget that both we have plutonian and 12th house influence in our charts ,so the paranormal activities and psychic abilities are very intense .

You should try to use your hidden plutonian 12th house powers for your own good
if you learn how to do that the 12th house and plutonian energy can work on your behalf.

you may atttact these people because of your pluto of 12th house ,but remember our thoughts psychology is what usually manifest around us.

I ve done many experiments with the law of attraction and i know for me this thing works
for some others maybe not, not everyones the same.
I just wrote a whole piece and the post didn't send or work.

So long story short. When it comes to laws of attraction and being psychic, before a bad thing happens with a narc, im in a happy place enjoying myself and then I get a premonition/dream which warns me of what will happen and helps me to protect myself. I cant know exactly what the person will do but at least I will get the premonition. The sabotage stems from the narc having extreme jealousy and competitiveness which stems from not being 100% in the spotlight when im around. The sabotage comes from women who expect to have anything and everything their way, selfishly.

When it comes to attracting what you desire, I agree, except it takes me many yrs before it manifests. And I pray the whole time.
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  #28  
Unread 11-07-2016, 10:25 AM
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Re: Attracting Narcissists in a person's natal chart

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Originally Posted by demetraceres View Post
I just need to comment this a little bit. I have mentioned Cancer and Pisces in the context of this thread and I didn't have time to elaborate it little further. I have seen and read now your thread and I completely understand the reactions.

I don't think there are specific sun signs which can be directly connected with victim or narcissistic personality (or any other kind of personality). What I've had in mind was only possibility of a very strong influence of specific sign in natal chart and even this in combination with other indicators.

My personal experiences with different sun signs (of no statistical importance though): none of Libra sun signs I know have this malignant narcissistic traits and on the other hand I was a target of narcissistic abuse by Cancer and Pisces sun sign. This single experiences can't tell much about any of this sign.

My sun sign Aries is also many times connected with mass murderers, kidnappers and generally with awful kind of people. I can't relate much to this, though.

I've just had to explain this not te be misunderstood.

Otherwise, very insightful and effective debate.
This is why I say asc ruler and position is what's important. My husband is also a sun in aries but his asc in sag makes him a Jupiter in cancer in 8th house. That is nothing like aries.
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  #29  
Unread 11-07-2016, 10:32 AM
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Re: Attracting Narcissists in a person's natal chart

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Originally Posted by demetraceres View Post
Abby83 and MadArchitect: as I see it what you are talking about are personal patterns that have an origin in childhood conditioning. It would be helpful to understand and feel the circumstances in which they have occured.
Are you saying that I need to try and understand the childhood conditioning of the narc or the childhood conditioning of myself? Regardless, there's not much you can do in the present situation. Life goes on and you have things in life you need to do without the need to focus on feeding the ego of the narc. No person out there has the energy resources to feed the narc. It is a bottomless pit. They are never satisfied and will always criticise u whilst sapping your energy.
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  #30  
Unread 11-07-2016, 10:58 AM
demetraceres demetraceres is offline
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Re: Attracting Narcissists in a person's natal chart

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Originally Posted by Abby83 View Post
Are you saying that I need to try and understand the childhood conditioning of the narc or the childhood conditioning of myself? Regardless, there's not much you can do in the present situation. Life goes on and you have things in life you need to do without the need to focus on feeding the ego of the narc. No person out there has the energy resources to feed the narc. It is a bottomless pit. They are never satisfied and will always criticise u whilst sapping your energy.
The childhood conditioning of ourselves - it can help to certain extent, but it takes lots of time. I would never advice to feed the ego of the narc. though it could be also helpful to understand the way they function and how to protect agains it.
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  #31  
Unread 11-07-2016, 11:10 AM
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Re: Attracting Narcissists in a person's natal chart

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The childhood conditioning of ourselves - it can help to certain extent, but it takes lots of time. I would never advice to feed the ego of the narc. though it could be also helpful to understand the way they function and how to protect agains it.
Oh I can see how they function and it disturbs me. Im a fan of the greater good and the narc is a fan of the devil. They don't like good ppl.

So childhood condition? Well childhood is represented by the moon isn't it? And mine is in the 1st house too lol. So as a child I had lots of independence, freedom, love of the mother, security. My brother was protective and I felt free to do what I wanted. I was confident. No-one interfered with me or abused me or took advantage. I was very happy. If I did have any enemies I was completely oblivious to it. I let ppl come to me. As I got older, the 12th house came over and that's when crazy women started doing crazy things to me and I never understood it because of the upbringing I had. Being the naturally happy independent and freedom loving person I was brought up to be I never understood how these women could be the way they were. It didn't make any sense to waste any time doing the things they did. to sabotage others out of jealousy. I was never a jealous child, and if I was a jealous adult, id find it rather stupid to sabotage others.
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  #32  
Unread 11-07-2016, 03:06 PM
MadArchitect MadArchitect is offline
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Re: Attracting Narcissists in a person's natal chart

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Originally Posted by demetraceres View Post
Abby83 and MadArchitect: as I see it what you are talking about are personal patterns that have an origin in childhood conditioning. It would be helpful to understand and feel the circumstances in which they have occured.
What does my childhood has to do with abby"s83 situation and the narcissist people?

Last edited by MadArchitect; 11-07-2016 at 05:00 PM.
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  #33  
Unread 11-07-2016, 04:21 PM
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Re: Attracting Narcissists in a person's natal chart

I'm not a narc yet i was abused by one.... childhood does not always have anything to do with the outward character of a grown up person, it causes pain and scars, but a strong individual will overcome that.


My narc father never worked either, since the age of 16 i left school, grafted voluntarily building fences, sorting out gardens, rebuilding paths with Flag stones for the elderly. 18 years old, trained as a Soldier in the British Armed Forces, then went on to elite training in the Parachute Regiment.

Since leaving it's been hard for me to settle into a job, but i never give in.

Narcs are who they are, not who i am.
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  #34  
Unread 11-07-2016, 04:32 PM
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Re: Attracting Narcissists in a person's natal chart

I've noticed that narcissists tend to date or love other narcissists.
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  #35  
Unread 11-07-2016, 05:01 PM
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Re: Attracting Narcissists in a person's natal chart

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Originally Posted by AppLeo View Post
I've noticed that narcissists tend to date or love other narcissists.


that is so true ^
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  #36  
Unread 11-07-2016, 06:04 PM
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Re: Attracting Narcissists in a person's natal chart

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Originally Posted by Abby83 View Post
Here is the definition of narcissists I experience -

A person who wants every single person in the room of a party or school or church or shop or anywhere to think they are the most beautiful and interesting person there to look at and talk to and praise and pay attention to. A person who is extremely outraged and sick at the thought that there may be someone out there who is younger, smarter, wealthier, a better cook or better father, mother. Extremely bothered by the potential that someone out there may be liked more than them. They are terrible parents. They want so much attention they cant handle the youth and looks and love and happiness of their children and they try to bring the spotlight back to them and the ppl they attract and how amazing they think they were when they were kids too. The narc will get jealous of the kid's dating period and the sports and hobbies they are involved in because once again, the attention is not on them. The narc talks about themselves a lot. They are also hugely detrimental to their kids because instead of their kids being nurtured and loved and brought up to grow and learn for themselves, they are taught by the narc parent to spend all of their time and energy thinking about the narc. To serve the narc and to have the narcs best interests met. It is true that for some periods the parent will show what looks like love and care by buying the kids something nice, but it is only right before showing off to other ppl to show how apparently successful they are. The children of narcs suffer and as someone here mentioned they end up having intimacy issues and difficulty relating to others because they were trained to pay all attention to the narc or suffer greatly. The obsession of the narc is huge. I'm sure I have more to add but this is what pops out at me this time.

Now, to answer your question as to why I attract them - firstly, I'm extremely repulsed by them because I can see their false actions in their aim to get attention. That doesn't work with me. You cant fake it to get my attention, you have to be genuine, which a narc cant do. But maybe I'm here to teach them this. A lot of the times I see narcs doing bad behaviour to get attention and once again, I don't believe in rewarding them with attention if it is a bad behaviour. And funny enough, my son has taken after my mother in law (a narc) and we are working on his behaviour with the speech therapist and it is doing wonders. Now, back to what I was saying, Narcs hate me because 'I don't give them the attention they so desperately crave.' So that's why they keep chasing me. All these narcs in my life are in my 1st house. And me and my mum and brother and cousins are in the 12th house.

On the topic of self esteem, in my personal opinion I find narcs to have low self esteem because I think that if a person needs that much attention and needs to talk so much about themselves, then they are insecure. However at university they told me the opposite. They said that ppl who talk about themselves on a regular basis have high self esteem. Well, I just cant help but see the weakness. Maybe other ppl are fooled but I can see the weakness clearly.


omg
you are surrounded by so many mean rude people


i want to inform you that western countries like US and australia always had many narcissistic attention seeking people
but nowadays the situations is out of control
most people there tend to be narcissistic because they grow up like this.
the medias TV,Radio,Holywood movies ,music .brainwash people
and make them narcissistic. they make them to want to be the best and be like holywood superstars
they constantly seek attention and approval from others.

trust me in these countries people , only care about how you look like
how beautifull you are, how your clothes are , how tall you are and stupid things that only a teenager would care ...

i thought only teenagers or early 20's people tend to have this mentality
but it seems hat even adults-grown people
in their 30's and 40's are like this which is ridicilous.

btw im going out of topic , i want to make you understand that you cannot much about it .

based on what you wrote in your posts , these people are jealous of you ,you should accept that they will always going to be jealous no matter what
move on with your life and stop caring ,probably they jealous because you are a good mother you have a nice husband and family
and thats why these people are so mean towards you,
because they realize that you dont give a * about them because you are happy with what you have ,and that irritates people ,yes even simple things like that can make some people
mad and jealous ,

dont forget that 12th house shows karma.
these people may show up in your life because you may still have open cases with them from previous lifes
they may owe you or you may owe them
i ve dealt with things like that in the past ,

Last edited by MadArchitect; 11-07-2016 at 07:09 PM.
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  #37  
Unread 11-07-2016, 10:03 PM
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Re: Attracting Narcissists in a person's natal chart

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Originally Posted by AppLeo View Post
I've noticed that narcissists tend to date or love other narcissists.
The good relationships though. many narcs fall into the habit of being with the self sacrificing type and that works out terribly for both. commonly the sacrificing person can commit suicide because of the narcs abuse. this type of poor relationship stems from the narc marrying for other goals of importance. but like u said, narcs have respect for narcs.
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  #38  
Unread 11-07-2016, 10:08 PM
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Re: Attracting Narcissists in a person's natal chart

I just wanted to point out that what dem and mad have pointed out to me has really sunk in. Firstly I'm realising the 7th house/libra influence plays a huge role in attracting these narcs. So being a child and being the moon in first house I focused on my own needs and never had a problem with a narc bothering me for attention. Then when my pluto in libra phase took over, I was more focused on relating to ppl and focused on other ppl and understanding other ppl and that attention drew in the narcs. There's my answer. Wow. Now I just need to find that balance of silently paying attention so I can understand ppl but then doing my own thing to look after myself. Tough combo, but will get there.
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  #39  
Unread 11-07-2016, 10:16 PM
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Re: Attracting Narcissists in a person's natal chart

Quote:
Originally Posted by MadArchitect View Post
omg
you are surrounded by so many mean rude people


i want to inform you that western countries like US and australia always had many narcissistic attention seeking people
but nowadays the situations is out of control
most people there tend to be narcissistic because they grow up like this.
the medias TV,Radio,Holywood movies ,music .brainwash people
and make them narcissistic. they make them to want to be the best and be like holywood superstars
they constantly seek attention and approval from others.

trust me in these countries people , only care about how you look like
how beautifull you are, how your clothes are , how tall you are and stupid things that only a teenager would care ...

i thought only teenagers or early 20's people tend to have this mentality
but it seems hat even adults-grown people
in their 30's and 40's are like this which is ridicilous.

btw im going out of topic , i want to make you understand that you cannot much about it .

based on what you wrote in your posts , these people are jealous of you ,you should accept that they will always going to be jealous no matter what
move on with your life and stop caring ,probably they jealous because you are a good mother you have a nice husband and family
and thats why these people are so mean towards you,
because they realize that you dont give a * about them because you are happy with what you have ,and that irritates people ,yes even simple things like that can make some people
mad and jealous ,

dont forget that 12th house shows karma.
these people may show up in your life because you may still have open cases with them from previous lifes
they may owe you or you may owe them
i ve dealt with things like that in the past ,
You are right. I know they are jealous. I just look through my eyes and know I would never stoop this low to harm someone. It is extreme behaviour and I don't understand the mentality of how someone could think they could get away with it. Most ppl out there would punch these ppl for what they do. I can accept their jealous but I should probably stop trying to understand them and just keep focusing on myself. If they want to be miserable it really is their choice isn't it . Not my responsibility so I don't know why I keep trying.
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  #40  
Unread 11-29-2016, 11:18 PM
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Re: Attracting Narcissists in a person's natal chart

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Originally Posted by graay ghost View Post
Look at houses 4 and 10. If someone keeps attracting narcissists, it's often because one of the parents was one.
oh, oh, oh... this is right on the money for me at least. I just have pluto in the fourth, but I will have to consider it more. I also have jupiter in aries in my tenth and I believe it is part of a yod or whatever that's called where it aspects four different planets

My mom is what I think of as a narcissist and I always thought that my mom is represented by saturn conjuncting my moon in my first house. I know that saturn is supposed to represent men, but for me, that's kinda how I have felt impacted by my mom in my life.

Also, I would think it's important to notice any major transits like a saturn or pluto transit in certain houses or with certain personal planets.. to note when a person might be attracting certain types

Last edited by venusarising; 11-29-2016 at 11:21 PM.
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  #41  
Unread 12-04-2016, 09:59 AM
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Re: Attracting Narcissists in a person's natal chart

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oh, oh, oh... this is right on the money for me at least. I just have pluto in the fourth, but I will have to consider it more. I also have jupiter in aries in my tenth and I believe it is part of a yod or whatever that's called where it aspects four different planets

My mom is what I think of as a narcissist and I always thought that my mom is represented by saturn conjuncting my moon in my first house. I know that saturn is supposed to represent men, but for me, that's kinda how I have felt impacted by my mom in my life.

Also, I would think it's important to notice any major transits like a saturn or pluto transit in certain houses or with certain personal planets.. to note when a person might be attracting certain types
I too find ppl represented by planets in my natal 1st house to be narcissists.
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  #42  
Unread 12-05-2016, 09:53 PM
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Re: Attracting Narcissists in a person's natal chart

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I too find ppl represented by planets in my natal 1st house to be narcissists.

That's interesting, and I will just say one thing since you validated that first house/planet narc connection, pluto is transiting my 7th house and is currently opposing my saturn and soon my moon in my first house. My relationship with my mom is definitely changing... knock on wood, I don't want to speak to soon about it or get ahead of myself, but the power dynamics definitely feel as if they are shifting between my mom and myself.
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  #43  
Unread 12-05-2016, 11:07 PM
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Re: Attracting Narcissists in a person's natal chart

I can't remember if I said this before, but I think what really makes someone susceptible to a narcissistic relationship is having prominent Neptune, Pisces, Libra, Venus, and 7th house placements. Especially if these placements are negative.

Neptune square or opposite Venus is like the biggest indicator for someone falling into a narcissistic relationship, hands down. They'll buy into the narcissists perfect facade and display. The narcissist in the beginning of the relationship is often described as being too good to be true. Of course though, the venus-neptune person actually believes that no relationship can be too good to be true. They're easily deceived and manipulated because they cling so strongly to the romance and fictional fantasies that they dream about.

Neptune-venus people have very fragile self-esteems. They search for this divine love because they don't have any good self-esteem. A healthy person with a strong sense of self can see the ugly parts of who they are and be okay. And because of that fact, they aren't easily manipulated or swayed by other people. People with no self-esteem are easily hurt and feel victimized (neptune is a victim planet and venus is our self esteem) and so narcissists can easily pick these people up because they are so hungry for love. They can't find real love (because neptune isn't real; it's fake and vague), but narcissists can provide all the fake love possible.

If they ever see something unpleasant or negative they simply ignore it or don't register it because it's too difficult to feel. These people can't feel displeasure. They don't understand that real love takes work and that it's normal for people to fight and disagree and that the person you thought was the one wasn't the person at all. These people will continue to date and attract narcissistic people despite all of the red flags that they have seen.
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  #44  
Unread 12-06-2016, 02:51 AM
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Re: Attracting Narcissists in a person's natal chart

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I can't remember if I said this before, but I think what really makes someone susceptible to a narcissistic relationship is having prominent Neptune, Pisces, Libra, Venus, and 7th house placements. Especially if these placements are negative.

Neptune square or opposite Venus is like the biggest indicator for someone falling into a narcissistic relationship, hands down. They'll buy into the narcissists perfect facade and display. The narcissist in the beginning of the relationship is often described as being too good to be true. Of course though, the venus-neptune person actually believes that no relationship can be too good to be true. They're easily deceived and manipulated because they cling so strongly to the romance and fictional fantasies that they dream about.

Neptune-venus people have very fragile self-esteems. They search for this divine love because they don't have any good self-esteem. A healthy person with a strong sense of self can see the ugly parts of who they are and be okay. And because of that fact, they aren't easily manipulated or swayed by other people. People with no self-esteem are easily hurt and feel victimized (neptune is a victim planet and venus is our self esteem) and so narcissists can easily pick these people up because they are so hungry for love. They can't find real love (because neptune isn't real; it's fake and vague), but narcissists can provide all the fake love possible.

If they ever see something unpleasant or negative they simply ignore it or don't register it because it's too difficult to feel. These people can't feel displeasure. They don't understand that real love takes work and that it's normal for people to fight and disagree and that the person you thought was the one wasn't the person at all. These people will continue to date and attract narcissistic people despite all of the red flags that they have seen.
Ahaha oh dear. I have venus trine Neptune and you are 100% right. I see the 'potential' and best of what a lover can be or what he appears to be but yes it is 99 times out of 100 a facade. Idealised for sure.

It is clear to me that a connection of Neptune, pisces, 12th house, with aries, 1st house, mars shows attracting narcs.
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  #45  
Unread 12-06-2016, 03:00 AM
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Re: Attracting Narcissists in a person's natal chart

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Ahaha oh dear. I have venus trine Neptune and you are 100% right. I see the 'potential' and best of what a lover can be or what he appears to be but yes it is 99 times out of 100 a facade. Idealised for sure.

It is clear to me that a connection of Neptune, pisces, 12th house, with aries, 1st house, mars shows attracting narcs.
Yeah totally, but Aries, 1st house, and Mars??? Maybe weak placements involving Aries, the 1st house, and Mars.

You could probably throw Pluto into the mix as well. If you're obsessive and need to maintain that control in a relationship you're either a narcissist or need a narcissist to feel that control. Narcissists can indulge the obsession that you have with them.
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  #46  
Unread 12-06-2016, 08:46 AM
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Re: Attracting Narcissists in a person's natal chart

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Yeah totally, but Aries, 1st house, and Mars??? Maybe weak placements involving Aries, the 1st house, and Mars.

You could probably throw Pluto into the mix as well. If you're obsessive and need to maintain that control in a relationship you're either a narcissist or need a narcissist to feel that control. Narcissists can indulge the obsession that you have with them.
Im just referring to my chart and how there are common themes to what others are saying. Eg, my chart is 30% 12th house, 20% 11th house, 10% 2nd, and 30% 1st house. Let me just say that ALL of those ppl who are represented by the 11th and 12th planets attract and cant stand narcs. Also shown in the chart by their aspect to the planets in 1st. Now of course some ppl are worse than others. I would say my MIL takes the cake. She is Uranus in my 1st house square mars and venus (my twins), and my twins cant stand her. Im mars as well and I cant stand her. My husband is the venus, whilst he obeys her he doesn't like what she does. My friends are mercury in libra in 11th and they cant stand her either for her narcissism. Oh and Uranus is my father and it is also with the moon (other inlaws) as well. My judgement from this experience is that 11th housy and 12th housy ppl, although they attract narcs, cant stand them at all.
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Unread 07-18-2020, 12:42 PM
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Re: Attracting Narcissists in a person's natal chart

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Originally Posted by Jessicza View Post
I am a magnet for attracting narcissists. And no, I am not being exaggerated.

I will not specify who they are, as I have not yet healed my wounds, but there are people in my family who are wicked narcissists.

It is incredible that, throughout my life, I have always attracted people who are externally cute and delicate, but internally cruel and bad.

My former teacher was a cruel narcissist, she humiliated me every day and even encouraged students to do things with me. What surprised me the most was that the students always talked about how much they liked her, and I couldn't understand why: "Don't you see that she is a demon?" I still remember his critical eye, it was something surreal. Since I was 3 or 4 years old, I remember that I had a lot of bad teachers. And it lasted until my 15 or 16 years.

My ex-best friend, manipulated everyone in my life to turn against me, even spread rumors that I was drugged, when I realized, he had already spread several rumors about me. I hate to remember that my colleagues ignored me, all at the request of someone else.

I have many, many stories of narcissists. The worst thing is that, in all these stories, I was called "crazy" "problematic", when, in reality, the crazy person in the story was not me. What a hate.

Nowadays I am extremely cautious with all my friendships, when I feel that someone is malicious or that, in the future it will break my trust, I disappear from that person's life. If someone dares to do something bad to me, be prepared, I will pay double and only stop if you try to commit suicide or are experiencing post-traumatic stress. 8 or 80, here is everything at the extreme. I realized that having a passive attitude and sacrificing myself to bad people (I've done this my whole life) doesn't help, so I make them taste their own poison, but in my own way. I have nothing to lose, literally nothing to lose.

I'm not writing this out of sympathy. But it is frightening to attract evil from an early age.

supposed aspects that I believe are related, and I have them on my birth chart:

Pluto and Saturn in square to the ascendent

Stellium in 12th in aquarius

Pluto in 10th
See. Another example of lots of planets in the 12th house. The 12th house shows a lot of what's hidden, making it hard to be assertive or know where you stand. There's also a lot of sneaky hidden enemies and therefore easy to get abused. And also 12th house is the house of prisons and institutions which are places that abusers run cos the ppl cant escape so they afre easy targets.
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  #48  
Unread 08-20-2020, 01:33 PM
Ness22 Ness22 is offline
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Originally Posted by Bluebell87 View Post
This is such an interesting thread topic. I have a tendency to attract those who are the manipulative type, guys and girls! Having planets in the 7th house is a good one, as your identity is seen through others, creating a permeable wall.

It would be interesting to hear what someone has who isn't a narcissist, and doesn't have victim-tendencies. Because the funny thing is, people like that can be around narcissist, vampire-types and come out of it un-scathed...or even turn the narcissist into the one doing the bidding for them. That makes the victim look even more delusional because not everyone is effected in the same way as everyone else by predator types.
Omg this is so true. I've had this experience a lot of times in my life, where I've attracted selfish, manipulative and cruel people as friends who betrayed me or were really abrasive and toxic. Had them in my family too. It's just something that's happened so much, that I started to question if there's something really wrong with me (I'm a triple pisces with pisces sun/cancer moon/virgo rising). But I've figured out it has a lot to do with my weak boundaries and childhood wounds. I'm quite sensitive inside too and I like connections and being with people(the ones I click with), so this has all been a lot to deal with.

And yeah, an ex colleague of mine.. He showed a lot of traits of NPD. He was a total womanizer and showed interest in me too and when I didn't care after his initial flirtations, he would start to be mean towards me, give backhanded compliments, try to lower my self esteem and just low key bullying.. And I blocked him. And then he tried to damage my friendships with my other colleagues and it actually worked and I ended up looking like the crazy one. It hurt all over again to lose people.
How is it that only some people get to see this nasty side of them while others don't. How can they be so blind to it..
I don't know anymore. It's just cruel for someone to be THAT selfish and go around damaging other people's lives because of their own issues.
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Unread 08-20-2020, 01:35 PM
Ness22 Ness22 is offline
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Bluebell87 View Post
This is such an interesting thread topic. I have a tendency to attract those who are the manipulative type, guys and girls! Having planets in the 7th house is a good one, as your identity is seen through others, creating a permeable wall.

It would be interesting to hear what someone has who isn't a narcissist, and doesn't have victim-tendencies. Because the funny thing is, people like that can be around narcissist, vampire-types and come out of it un-scathed...or even turn the narcissist into the one doing the bidding for them. That makes the victim look even more delusional because not everyone is effected in the same way as everyone else by predator types.
And in my opinion, it doesn't necessarily have to be the victim types.
Somebody who is highly perceptive, empathetic or intuitive will see through it as opposed to somebody who isn't. And the ones who aren't highly intuitive, they'll never really have a point of view on the narcissist, cos they'll never have known that side of them at all.
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Unread 08-28-2020, 09:40 PM
Zeuses Zeuses is offline
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[QUOTE=Ness22;1061587]Omg this is so true. I've had this experience a lot of times in my life, where I've attracted selfish, manipulative and cruel people as friends who betrayed me or were really abrasive and toxic. Had them in my family too. It's just something that's happened so much, that I started to question if there's something really wrong with me (I'm a triple pisces with pisces sun/cancer moon/virgo rising). But I've figured out it has a lot to do with my weak boundaries and childhood wounds. I'm quite sensitive inside too and I like connections and being with people(the ones I click with), so this has all been a lot to deal with.

And yeah, an ex colleague of mine.. He showed a lot of traits of NPD. He was a total womanizer and showed interest in me too and when I didn't care after his initial flirtations, he would start to be mean towards me, give backhanded compliments, try to lower my self esteem and just low key bullying.. And I blocked him. And then he tried to damage my friendships with my other colleagues and it actually worked and I ended up looking like the crazy one. It hurt all over again to lose people.
How is it that only some people get to see this nasty side of them while others don't. How can they be so blind to it..
I don't know anymore. It's just cruel for someone to be THAT selfish and go around damaging other people's lives because of their own issues.[/QUOTE

I have had pretty much the same experiences as you with a few people both male and female in different environments under Pluto square sun transits and Neptune transiting 7th house opposing Pluto. The thing with people like this is rejection. If they perceive you to have rejected them or even considering rejecting them (even when their behaviour left you know other choice) they will do anything to ruin you. Basically, often their self esteem is on the floor so they hide it with false confidence and a 'control at all cost' attitude because they can't control themselves. I had two females at the same time do this to me. When I tried to get away from them They used to turn up everywhere I went, try to befriend anybody new that I met and I even saw one in the canteen where I worked even though they didn't work there. They spread untrue gossip about me and even told untruths to an ex partner, leaving out details of their own debauched lifestyles. You are right that most people don't see them for who they really are, it is just the unlucky few who do usually because you have walked away from them so their terror of rejection and lost control becomes a self fulfilling prophecy but they don't see it that way they just want to ruin you because its anybody's fault except theirs. They will attempt to treat you in a way that would hurt them if someone treated them the same way (because they can't see outside of themselves) as their self esteem is a mess they will try to pull yours down by negative comments about your physical looks and mental capacity and spread malicious rumours to isolate you. All the things they would dread themselves, but dont realise that you are a different person so may well react differently than they would. So if you are unfortunate to meet any in the future, remember to walk away immediately and know that they are projecting their inadequacies onto you. I think although the natal chart may suggest a propensity to attract people like that eg an empathic and none judgemental nature or not fitting into a box etc I think these situations tend to arise under certain transits. Good luck in never meeting another one.

Last edited by Zeuses; 08-29-2020 at 01:50 AM.
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