Hello everyone! 
It's been years since I posted here but I read the forum from time to time and try to expand on my poor knowledge of astrology.
Here it goes:
Approximately three months ago I started hanging out with this girl. We hung out every day as friends and it eventually lead up to a most spontaneous hookup ever! We continued to see each other daily, however after only about a week I started getting anxious.
(I suffer from relationship OCD, where I constantly question the relationship and my attraction and love towards my partner, get break up urges etc. As a matter of fact me posting here could be considered as a compulsion and search for certainty. The anxiety sometimes gets stronger when we are together and it's followed by guilt and more questions.)
By the end of November I had to move for university and we remain in contact.
She is 31 and an amazing, loving person as well as an exceptionally talented artist who has fallen head over heels for me. She says she's never felt this way and wants to spend the rest of her life with me. My mental condition and hurtful past experiences prevented me from going through this "lovey-dovey" phase she revels in. Nevertheless, we do share a special connection despite knowing each other for such a short time.
Maybe it's visible in her part of the chart, but she had a tough life - her father abandoning her at the age of 3 and financial stability always out of her reach. I truly care about her and love her and want to give her everything she never had: love, security, stability...
I sometimes get this weird, panicky feeling that we are running out of time because of her age. We are still not officially together but I obsess about how I have to grow up and get my **** together ASAP so we can have babies in the next five years or else it will be too late. (Her having polycystic ovaries doesn't help. We talked and I specifically told her I wanted to have two children.)
I am 23 and rather inexperienced (I had only one relationship at 17 which fell victim to my first encounter with rOCD and I've avoided relationships ever since). I am not ready for and don't feel capable of a serious relationship, but I want to be because I think she is worth it!
On the other hand I can't stop looking at other women (sometimes compulsively). I think I should still "play the field" and have fun, as I don't want to miss out on anything and regret it later. I've only slept with three women in my life. Her being the third, she told me I could sleep around as long as I don't get emotionally attached. So now I am in this big city trying to get "experience" with other girls just so I could become ready for her and I feel so guilty.
I told her once how it would be ideal if we met a bit later in life when I was more mature and I got a response that everything happens for a reason, that she loves me now and there is no postponing it and if I broke it off she'd be gone for good.
Some of our easier aspects are:
Venus conjunct Mars
Mars conjunct Mercury
Jupiter sextile Sun
So my questions are:
Does this relationship have any longterm potential? (marriage, children)
Could this amount to something (now or in the future) in spite of my immaturity, young age and a "need to sow my wild oats"?
Am I just wasting her time and my energy fighting this mental condition? (which wouldn't be there if there wasn't for emotional involvement)
Is our relationship doomed before it ever really started because of her Uranus squaring my Moon, Venus and Saturn, furthermore her Moon and Saturn squaring my Sun?
Next year I plan to go live and work abroad in order to make some money, but I want to keep her in my life. I am willing to sacrifice everything because she deserves it, but not at the expense of my own happiness; so give your best and above all honest, realistic interpretation - I would really like to make this girl's dreams come true if our synastry supports it!
Thank you!
EDIT: Posted a composite chart afterwards
It's been years since I posted here but I read the forum from time to time and try to expand on my poor knowledge of astrology.
Here it goes:
Approximately three months ago I started hanging out with this girl. We hung out every day as friends and it eventually lead up to a most spontaneous hookup ever! We continued to see each other daily, however after only about a week I started getting anxious.
(I suffer from relationship OCD, where I constantly question the relationship and my attraction and love towards my partner, get break up urges etc. As a matter of fact me posting here could be considered as a compulsion and search for certainty. The anxiety sometimes gets stronger when we are together and it's followed by guilt and more questions.)
By the end of November I had to move for university and we remain in contact.
She is 31 and an amazing, loving person as well as an exceptionally talented artist who has fallen head over heels for me. She says she's never felt this way and wants to spend the rest of her life with me. My mental condition and hurtful past experiences prevented me from going through this "lovey-dovey" phase she revels in. Nevertheless, we do share a special connection despite knowing each other for such a short time.
Maybe it's visible in her part of the chart, but she had a tough life - her father abandoning her at the age of 3 and financial stability always out of her reach. I truly care about her and love her and want to give her everything she never had: love, security, stability...
I sometimes get this weird, panicky feeling that we are running out of time because of her age. We are still not officially together but I obsess about how I have to grow up and get my **** together ASAP so we can have babies in the next five years or else it will be too late. (Her having polycystic ovaries doesn't help. We talked and I specifically told her I wanted to have two children.)
I am 23 and rather inexperienced (I had only one relationship at 17 which fell victim to my first encounter with rOCD and I've avoided relationships ever since). I am not ready for and don't feel capable of a serious relationship, but I want to be because I think she is worth it!
On the other hand I can't stop looking at other women (sometimes compulsively). I think I should still "play the field" and have fun, as I don't want to miss out on anything and regret it later. I've only slept with three women in my life. Her being the third, she told me I could sleep around as long as I don't get emotionally attached. So now I am in this big city trying to get "experience" with other girls just so I could become ready for her and I feel so guilty.
I told her once how it would be ideal if we met a bit later in life when I was more mature and I got a response that everything happens for a reason, that she loves me now and there is no postponing it and if I broke it off she'd be gone for good.
Some of our easier aspects are:
Venus conjunct Mars
Mars conjunct Mercury
Jupiter sextile Sun
So my questions are:
Does this relationship have any longterm potential? (marriage, children)
Could this amount to something (now or in the future) in spite of my immaturity, young age and a "need to sow my wild oats"?
Am I just wasting her time and my energy fighting this mental condition? (which wouldn't be there if there wasn't for emotional involvement)
Is our relationship doomed before it ever really started because of her Uranus squaring my Moon, Venus and Saturn, furthermore her Moon and Saturn squaring my Sun?
Next year I plan to go live and work abroad in order to make some money, but I want to keep her in my life. I am willing to sacrifice everything because she deserves it, but not at the expense of my own happiness; so give your best and above all honest, realistic interpretation - I would really like to make this girl's dreams come true if our synastry supports it!
Thank you!
EDIT: Posted a composite chart afterwards
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