One-sided attraction?

I've developed an intense connection with a woman at work. We worked together for a year-and-a-half before ever talking to each other. I noticed her and thought she was attractive but never approached her. She's shy and very quiet and I just assumed she wasn't interested. Then one day before a meeting she sat down across the table from me, leaned in and told me I have gorgeous eyes. After the meeting, I approached her and struck up a conversation and it felt really good being in her presence.

From then on, she would make herself available for conversation and would often approach me. We started sharing secrets and having very intimate conversations right away. We also started hugging each other every time we interacted, sometimes two to three times during the course of an hour conversation. I'm talking long, sensuous, pelvis-to-pelvis hugs that sometimes end with a mutual kiss on the cheek. About two months in, we got in an argument via text; I was jealous because I had asked her a few times to spend time with me outside of work - and she had also brought up the idea of having dinner, going out for drinks, getting lunch together, grabbing coffee, etc. - several times but always found an excuse not to spend time with me outside of work. I got upset because she frequently goes out to lunch with this married guy at work who is 18 years younger than her whom she has worked with for about 13 years. She said he is like family to her, but I think it's weird. During this argument, I confessed that I felt like I was starting to fall in love with her. She told me she cares about me as a friend...

I really don't get it. She wants to know EVERYTHING about me. She constantly asks me if I'm dating. Also, I'm fairly certain she stalks me on Facebook because she mentions things I never told her about but posted on my Facebook page. She remembers EVERYTHING I tell her. She has also turned many conversations sexual and one time wanted to know in detail what I like to do in bed. We also recently started sexting. She gives me the silent treatment when I speak to other girls at work. It's gotten pretty intense between us lately, with me making sarcastic comments and her getting extremely upset with me and really punishing me for my comments. She told me that she can't get close to me because every time she starts to, I hurt her with my comments. I hate to say it, but I really feel like she overreacts a little because my comments are not that bad. I'm just really frustrated... She also cries a lot when she's upset with me and told me she rarely cries otherwise.

She definitely has a wall up and admits it. She said she has a hard time getting close to anyone and has lost a lot of friends because of it. She told me right from the start that she is not interested in having a relationship with anyone and really likes being single. She has been single for 10 years and had one brief affair with a married man. I've tried to move on but something always brings me back to her. I feel like she is having a hard time moving on, too. I've never met anyone like her before and I feel like she has a lot of qualities I like in a female.

Can someone take a look at the synastry and let me know what you think. Is this really a one-sided attraction? I feel like the connection is mutual and very deep, but she tells me she's only interested in friendship. Our Venus-Pluto opposition is definitely noticeable in our interactions, and I also feel the effects of her Venus in my 8th house. We're both very sensitive but I think she is much more sensitive due to her Moon in Cancer because she seems to get hurt by everything I do. I'm thinking her Venus in Aries makes her appreciate her independence and her Mars in Sagittarius leads her to seek freedom. My Venus-Pluto-Neptune Yod/Boomerang seems to always make me too intense for most people as well as really obsessive and possessive. Is there something I'm missing, though? Is there a possibility she feels something beyond friendship for me? Sometimes I think she'd be okay with a physical relationship with me, but doesn't want anything beyond that. She gets flirtatious sometimes but I don't dare make a move because she told me she just wants to be friends, so I have to respect that. Then when I don't make a move, she seems to get frustrated with me and ignore me for a day or two. I am so confused...

Can anyone offer insight? Thanks.

I think horary astrology helps it

Thank you, Scherzy. I'm not familiar with horary astrology but I am trying to learn about the topic. I created a chart using the date and time I posed the question. What I see is that the first house is ruled by Leo/The Sun and the seventh house is ruled by Aquarius/Uranus. the Sun and Uranus are exactly conjunct each other at 2 degrees in the 9th house. Is this significant? Am I on the right track?

I try to see the best in everyone and like to be positive in chart readings.

But I am sorry, but this lady is never going to be anything but frustrating and wildly difficult. I feel that she likes messing with you.

Her 12th house Cancer Moon, on her Ascendant is pretty debilitated by those squares from her Aries Venus and her Uranus on the IC. She likes to create chaos. She thrives on drama and conflict.

She enjoys getting you hot and bothered and then she quickly retreats, leaving you hanging.

Don't stay caught in her trap.

She can let her walls down if she wants to but she doesn't want to. She is having too much fun watching you spin your wheels.

She knows when she has your trapped in your Finger of God. You always try to do the right thing and respect others---so she can play off that and take advantage of your kindness.

Cut her loose.

Scherzy said:

I think horary astrology helps it

Click to expand...

StrongSilentType said:

Thank you, Scherzy. I'm not familiar with horary astrology
but I am trying to learn about the topic.

I created a chart using the date and time I posed the question.


What I see is that the first house is ruled by Leo/The Sun and the seventh house is ruled by Aquarius/Uranus. the Sun and Uranus are exactly conjunct each other at 2 degrees in the 9th house.
Is this significant? Am I on the right track?

Click to expand...

Our Horary board is separate from Read My Chart
so to get a response from one of our horary experts
do create a new thread on our HORARY QUESTIONS ON RELATIONAL ISSUES
at https://www.astrologyweekly.com/forum/forumdisplay.php?f=43


posting the horary question along with the chart using date and time you posed the question
plus your own brief analysis
on Relational Issues Horary board
is the appropriate place to receive horary guidance
while at the same time
your natal and synastry charts
continue receiving responses on this thread

katydid said:

I try to see the best in everyone and like to be positive in chart readings.

But I am sorry, but this lady is never going to be anything but frustrating and wildly difficult. I feel that she likes messing with you.

Her 12th house Cancer Moon, on her Ascendant is pretty debilitated by those squares from her Aries Venus and her Uranus on the IC. She likes to create chaos. She thrives on drama and conflict.

She enjoys getting you hot and bothered and then she quickly retreats, leaving you hanging.

Don't stay caught in her trap.

She can let her walls down if she wants to but she doesn't want to. She is having too much fun watching you spin your wheels.

She knows when she has your trapped in your Finger of God. You always try to do the right thing and respect others---so she can play off that and take advantage of your kindness.

Cut her loose.

Click to expand...

Katydid, as much as I hate to admit it - I think you're right. I need to cut her loose. What you said about her 12th house Moon squaring her Venus and Uranus makes a lot of sense; only problem is I have the same exact aspects in my chart (12th house Moon squaring Venus and Uranus) so I'm sure that contributes to the confusion and tension.

What you said about how "she enjoys getting me hot and bothered and then she quickly retreats" is EXACTLY how it feels. She's essentially a "tease" and it's driving me crazy...

Thanks for your input, it really helps.

JUPITERASC said:

Our Horary board is separate from Read My Chart
so to get a response from one of our horary experts
do create a new thread on our HORARY QUESTIONS ON RELATIONAL ISSUES
at https://www.astrologyweekly.com/forum/forumdisplay.php?f=43


posting the horary question along with the chart using date and time you posed the question
plus your own brief analysis
on Relational Issues Horary board
is the appropriate place to receive horary guidance
while at the same time
your natal and synastry charts
continue receiving responses on this thread

Click to expand...

This is great, JupiterAsc. Thanks for sharing. I wasn't even aware there is a separate Horary board and I'm always browsing this forum. I'll check it out tomorrow. Thank you!!!

StrongSilentType said:

Katydid, as much as I hate to admit it - I think you're right. I need to cut her loose. What you said about her 12th house Moon squaring her Venus and Uranus makes a lot of sense; only problem is I have the same exact aspects in my chart (12th house Moon squaring Venus and Uranus) so I'm sure that contributes to the confusion and tension.

What you said about how "she enjoys getting me hot and bothered and then she quickly retreats" is EXACTLY how it feels. She's essentially a "tease" and it's driving me crazy...

Thanks for your input, it really helps.

Click to expand...

That's right, you both have a T-square to a 12th house Moon, from Venus and Uranus.

But the big difference, in my opinion, is her T-square is cardinal, which is active, self motivated, and she sets these things into motion, herself.


Your Moon and your T-square are in fixed signs. That is reactive, and shows that these things are happening to you, and not set in motion, by you.

So yes, your T-square to a 12 house Moon is identical to hers, except for the mode of energy. You are the perfect person for her to manipulate because of your
connection---you both have your moons at the midpoint of Venus/Uranus. You are both very attuned to subtle magnetism, magnetic sexual energy, unspoken feelings and body chemistry.

Cutting away from this woman may be very difficult for you. But I don't believe she is ever going to really be there for you, in a stable, healthy way.

She knows how much she affects you, how much she hurts you sometimes, and she continues in the same exasperating way, without trying to make things better for you.

She is acting out the T-square, which you have already in your natal chart.

YOUR -T-square says that you experience women as being fickle and untrustworthy,because they will always cheat on you given the opportunity...[Moon in the 12th, in Leo, squaring Venus/Mars conjunct in Taurus.] That configuration can make you feel obsessively jealous and out of control, when feeling insecure]

HER T-square says that she enjoys making others feel jealous and insecure because it makes her feel powerful and in control, and she can feed off of the drama[ Venus in the 10th in Aries, square Moon in 12th in Cancer, square Uranus in Libra]