Some insight into my relationships w/men.

P

ProgressedMoonInScropio

Well-known member
Changing the focus of the question as to why I behave the way I do when it comes to my relationships. The pull between wanting my freedom but needing security is strong.

Thank you.

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greybeard

Well-known member
Don't know if I will answer your questions or not,, but at least you may have some ideas to follow up on.

It goes without saying that to avoid an immature man one should seek maturity. But you are not likely to do that, are you? Second solution, be more patient, hang on to the idiot and maybe he'll become "the man you always wanted." But that's doubtful too. Maybe you aren't cut out for a conventional relationship, who knows?

Mercury and Uranus are in partile opposition and angular. This creates nervous tension, nervous imbalance and instability. And it is connected to radical change. (Uranus powerful by angularity, even unaspected, is likely to promote sudden changes in the life.) This opposition is connected by aspect to the opposition of Venus-Mars and its effects are felt in relationships. Uranus, the Urge to Freedom. Uranus is in Sagittarius (a freedom-loving sign) and trine Venus, who is exalted in Pisces but whose exit from her exaltation into Aries, her exile, is imminent.

Two planets in particular govern personal relationships, Venus and Moon. Moon is married to Mars soon after birth, after crossing the sign line from Virgo into Libra. Libra (-6 deg.), home to Mars, is foreign to him; he is in exile. Libra, sign of the balance and subject to ups and downs, to swings in the level of expression of energy. Enter the Moon, the natural ruler of "ups and downs" and "comings and goings" and we see the volatility and unsteadiness of this combination. The nature of Libra -- constantly seeking harmony and balance, always tentative -- only serves to emphasize this unsteadiness of application. Moon-Mars brings rashness (compulsive spontaneous responses to stimuli), emotional volatility, an oversensitivity to discord, anger and feelings of conflict, disharmony between the need for independence and the need for security and nurture. And then there is the sextile from Uranus, who disrupts 4th House matters by his simple presence. Uranus happens to be associated with (we can call him co-ruler of) the 7th cusp, which happens to be in the chaotic, turbulent, unstable last degree (of Aquarius). Also, all rulers of the Seventh are Rx (Saturn, Uranus and Jupiter). Uranus is angular, therefore powerful. (And what happens when Mercury is in partile opposition to Uranus, equally powerful if not more so by elevation and lord of the Moon?)

And then there is Venus.

In the last degree of Pisces, her exaltation, soon to enter her exile Aries.
Opposed by Moon (the opposition perfects before Venus leaves her sign) in Common Signs. There is a Common T-square with Neptune at focus on the cusp of 5...and conjunct Lilith who is partile square Moon. [I don't use Lilith, but she may enlighten you regarding the question.)
Exact cross-sign opposition to Mars, whom she rules. Venus is at maximum elongation,, a full sign-and-a-half distant from Sun. Venus resides in the 8th House, not usually a favorable location for relationships (her lord Jupiter opposes Sun (wide but effective) with no other major aspect (Sun also beholds no other aspect). Further, Jupiter is conjunct Pluto...the lord of Venus and of the 7th House (Except for less than one degree, the 7th House is in Pisces) is not favorably aspected, thus disposing Venus [the opposition of Sun to Jupiter can carry implications of "newness", "change" as well as overblown ideas and goals. There may also be tendencies toward glamorizing relationships built on the shifting sands of emotion and sensation, lacking a foundation on bedrock. This ties in with the squares to Neptune.]]

This is sufficient.
 
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ProgressedMoonInScropio

Well-known member
greybeard said:
Don't know if I will answer your questions or not,, but at least you may have some ideas to follow up on.

It goes without saying that to avoid an immature man one should seek maturity. But you are not likely to do that, are you? Second solution, be more patient, hang on to the idiot and maybe he'll become "the man you always wanted." But that's doubtful too. Maybe you aren't cut out for a conventional relationship, who knows?

Mercury and Uranus are in partile opposition and angular. This creates nervous tension, nervous imbalance and instability. And it is connected to radical change. (Uranus powerful by angularity, even unaspected, is likely to promote sudden changes in the life.) This opposition is connected by aspect to the opposition of Venus-Mars and its effects are felt in relationships. Uranus, the Urge to Freedom. Uranus is in Sagittarius (a freedom-loving sign) and trine Venus, who is exalted in Pisces but whose exit from her exaltation into Aries, her exile, is imminent.

Two planets in particular govern personal relationships, Venus and Moon. Moon is married to Mars soon after birth, after crossing the sign line from Virgo into Libra. Libra (-6 deg.), home to Mars, is foreign to him; he is in exile. Libra, sign of the balance and subject to ups and downs, to swings in the level of expression of energy. Enter the Moon, the natural ruler of "ups and downs" and "comings and goings" and we see the volatility and unsteadiness of this combination. The nature of Libra -- constantly seeking harmony and balance, always tentative -- only serves to emphasize this unsteadiness of application. Moon-Mars brings rashness (compulsive spontaneous responses to stimuli), emotional volatility, an oversensitivity to discord, anger and feelings of conflict, disharmony between the need for independence and the need for security and nurture. And then there is the sextile from Uranus, who disrupts 4th House matters by his simple presence. Uranus happens to be associated with (we can call him co-ruler of) the 7th cusp, which happens to be in the chaotic, turbulent, unstable last degree (of Aquarius). Also, all rulers of the Seventh are Rx (Saturn, Uranus and Jupiter). Uranus is angular, therefore powerful. (And what happens when Mercury is in partile opposition to Uranus, equally powerful if not more so by elevation and lord of the Moon?)

And then there is Venus.

In the last degree of Pisces, her exaltation, soon to enter her exile Aries.
Opposed by Moon (the opposition perfects before Venus leaves her sign) in Common Signs. There is a Common T-square with Neptune at focus on the cusp of 5...and conjunct Lilith who is partile square Moon. [I don't use Lilith, but she may enlighten you regarding the question.)
Exact cross-sign opposition to Mars, whom she rules. Venus is at maximum elongation,, a full sign-and-a-half distant from Sun. Venus resides in the 8th House, not usually a favorable location for relationships (her lord Jupiter opposes Sun (wide but effective) with no other major aspect (Sun also beholds no other aspect). Further, Jupiter is conjunct Pluto...the lord of Venus and of the 7th House (Except for less than one degree, the 7th House is in Pisces) is not favorably aspected, thus disposing Venus [the opposition of Sun to Jupiter can carry implications of "newness", "change" as well as overblown ideas and goals. There may also be tendencies toward glamorizing relationships built on the shifting sands of emotion and sensation, lacking a foundation on bedrock. This ties in with the squares to Neptune.]]

This is sufficient.
Click to expand...

Thanks for the analysis, despite the tone it is quite helpful. And as far waiting for maturity everybody puts on their best face when they first meet a person and the real them tends to come out when comfortable. My problem is (or was as I am growing everyday) is that I hold on to things longer than I should.

So now that we've gotten past the negativity is there anything positive I can take from this or am I just doomed?
 
Vista

Vista

Well-known member
Never doomed!!! I will reply in a little later, I have to run out now. I just wanted to confirm my question I sent in private email.

Also, would you mind posting your chart with transits and progressions? We can take a look at what is happening.
 
Vista

Vista

Well-known member
So there is some question where you could be Virgo rising simply because your ASC is at 29 degree Leo. To me, I would consider Virgo rising as well since 29 degrees is completely inside your 1st house. That means besides Uranus being your 7th house ruler, I would also consider Pisces ruler Neptune as well.

There appears to be a little instability within the home life while growing up, With Uranus placed there it doesn't lend one to stability or at the very least, there wasn't your Leave it to Beaver household. Pluto rules your IC and is basically unaspected but for a sextile; Mars the secondary ruler of Pluto is conjunct Moon and square Neptune and a oppose Venus forming T square. It seems there may have been issues around your mother perhaps some kind of chemical or alcohol addiction since Neptune involved. Moon conjunct Mars is indicative of problems with the mother, maybe you didn't see eye to eye or you argued a lot while growing up. Mars in it's opposite sign is in it's fall and retrograde, you might have a tendency to internalize things or sort of beat yourself up or allow yourself to get bullied. With unaspected Sun, I wonder if dad was involved much with your life? I think all these things sort of color your adult relationships as you are probably aware of.

I think transiting Neptune through your 7th house has made you disillusioned with men. That's what Neptune does, dissolves. It can be the master of Rose colored glassed too but so painful when the prince ends up being just a frog after all. Looking at your relationships the first thing that sticks out in my mind is Uranus squaring the ASC/DESC. This brings an element of instability in your relationships as well as wanting men who are unavailable. This can be in many form, they are emotionally unavailable whether just getting out of a relationship or due to a chemical or substance addiction, they are in another relationship, live too far away, or simply not interested. You can also be the receiver of this meaning the men who really want you, you don't really like or the grass is a little greener elsewhere. Taurus Sun, there can be a liking for what is not traditional, i.e. a white picket fence, two children, a van, etc. but the need for freedom is equally strong but at war with your Taurus Sun which is unaspected and also the depositor of your Leo ASC. Taurus wants stability, a big savings, luxury things, a good provider, but Uranus is saying maybe I really don't want this, maybe this is boring and I will end up being trapped. I really understand this aspect well because I have the same issue. Astrologer Robert Hand said this to me once when he asked me what I wanted in relationships, my answer was all the Taurus things I just said to you. He said it's very clear you have not come to terms with your own need for freedom and until you find a way to integrate both in your relationships, you will project it onto the men you date and they will live it out for you. So I am saying that to you, somehow you are going to have to integrate both needs into your relationship to find some kind of balance. Saturn rules your 5th house, it is also unaspected. It unusual to have 3 planets unaspected in a natal chart(Sun, Saturn, Pluto). When a planet is not aspected, it really acts in it's full power whether that be the good attributes or the negative ones and it does so in the house it's placed natally as well as the house ruler. Therefore, finding a man who connects to your Sun with his Moon, Sun, ASC will be important as well as Uranus your DESC ruler. At the beginning of next year, transiting Saturn will conjunct your natal Uranus. Since they are your 5th and 7th house rulers, this could bring a romantic partner into your life perhaps one who is a little older. Also, about the same time progressed Moon will start conjuncting your natal Uranus, another indicator of potential for a relationship. BTW, if this is possible it could also be a time for a surprise pregnancy do be careful if you are not interested in being pregnant. Progressed Moon in Scorpio is very difficult for most people, you could find yourself obsessing over someone while it's there. Happily after being there for 2 1/2 years, it moves on and into Sag very soon. This will be a much happier placement, you could find yourself wanting to do a little traveling.

On a different note, Saturn moving into your 4th house could be a time where you,move, buy, sell, or renovate a house. There is also potential for change around your work.

Does any of this resonate?
 
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ProgressedMoonInScropio

Well-known member
Wow!! I don't even know where to start!

I didn't realize I had THREE unaspected planets..it's interesting because I JUST started looking into unaspected planets but in the context of synastry not natally. So I will definitely be looking into that.

As far as my home life, it was stable in the sense that we lived in the same house from the time my mom was pregnant with me until I was 12. But it was an unusual dwelling as it was a 1 bdr apt over a garage. My mom made sure the lights stayed on,. never had people in and out of the house. She did come out to me when I was 8 that she was a lesbian and had 1 gf move in with us. Other than that I had a pretty quiet home life. I do remember receiving "spankings" and sometimes unnecessary cruelty from her. But she has since apologized. I am very close to my mother. Now my father you were right, he left when I was 4 and what's interesting about Saturn heading for my IC is that when Saturn first crossed my IC he left me. As far as drug use I know my dad was into cocaine and I'm not sure what else as he was a truck driver those yrs I didn't see him. He came back into my life when I was about 8. Then I sought him out when I turned 18 and we now have a relationship. But he is ill now he's on dialysis and just as recently as two months ago he suffered a minor stroke. My hope is that as Saturn is passing my IC again he doesn't leave me again..if you know what I mean.

Also now that you mention Neptune and the 4th house. It wasn't me who experienced this directly but when my mom turned 16 her and my grandmother and aunts joined a cult. Well they didn't realize at the time but it started as a church but later lead to drug use, the "pastor" taking people's money and threatening people. Part of the reason why I didn't see my dad for yrs is because my mom and my family got away from it but he didn't. My mom was fearful and didn't want me around the man who was behind all of it. And yes I remember her telling me that she had tried cocaine because of the cult they were involved in. They forced my mother to marry my father @ 17 and she had me @ 18 yrs old. So I can see now why there may have been some resentment on her part as I was growing up. She wanted to be a professional tennis player and she said if it wasn't for her situation she probably wouldn't have had kids. I am an only child. She does feel that we were meant to be paired together though. Our relationship is very stable and she's usually the first person I call when I have a problem.

I am slowly trying to figure out how to find a balance in my life that will make me happy. I was in a long-term relationship for almost 7 yrs. I have two children. He wanted to marry me but I didn't because I didn't want to feel "trapped". My thinking was that if we break up and we weren't married I could make a clean "break" meaning no divorces or fighting over property. During those 6 almost 7yrs I was a stay-at-home mom and I hated every moment of it even though in the beginning I wanted it very much and still have very traditional views on this. But given that I crave excitment or some sort of newness every so often being home made me feel bored and isolated. So I escaped through tv shows and computer games. I took care of my kids but I could only muster up the bare minimum when it came to caring for my house. It was a very miserable time for me. When I look back on it I feel really bad about my behavior and am appalled by it.

I have been following my progressed chart and I am very relieved to be have my moon go into Sagittarius. I've read that it will be a bit of an easier time for me emotionally. What I'm most looking forward to is being able to not be so attached to people or ideas. Also I know that I am coming up on a bunch of Saturn transits in November and back in July I asked a horary question of if these transits might trigger an opportunity for a long term relationship and just from my basic knowledge it looks like yes, but I'm not sure the ends and outs and what the general feeling of it will be. But I know the opportunity may come up. I looked up my transits for the beginning of next yr and they look really good. So I am looking forward to that as well. I've only started studying astrology within the last yr seriously but I leaned more towards relational astrology. But what I have learned about myself has been amazing. I have learned what my NN is and my purpose as I have somewhat accepted I am still internally fighting with it as my SN wants to pull me to old habits of wanting to find love and be in relationships even though my soul wants to learn how to love people thru friendships. It's a struggle lol.

There is so much more I could go on about but I don't want to take too much more of your time. This is has been really eye opening for me. It truly has, thank you! :smile:

ETA: Another interesting observation regarding my moon conjuncting Mars and being associated with my mom is she's an Aries which is ruled by Mars! lol My dad is a Virgo!
 
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Vista

Vista

Well-known member
Hello PMIS,

Thank you so much for your feedback! It is so helpful to get details like this to know if we are on the right track with our interpretations.

I wanted to mentioned I missed the sextile with Pluto to Neptune and your ASC, my apologies!! I will edit my response above. Thankfully, the sextile to your Neptune and your ASC/DESC will give a little more stability to off set the Uranus square. So, you have Sun and Saturn unaspected by major aspects.

Wow, Your upbringing was quite unconventional!! That would explain Uranus there inside the 4th house as well as the unaspected Sun. Neptune in the 4th typically points to some kind of alcohol or drugs in the home or mystery surrounding your background as in adoption for example or perhaps being raised by grandparents and not knowing who your father is as another example.

Your last long-term relationship is a great example of the Freedom Verse Closeness issues you have in your chart. It's good you understand yourself better now so your next relationship will be easier to manage your needs. I always thought for myself and for people who have this in their natal charts that a romantic partner who traveled for a living would be a good way to work with these energies. They wouldn't be so available therefore it would not become so boring and routine. Also, someone who lives out of the area but that doesn't solve the problem if you marry or live together.

I probably have a 100 astrology books in my collection however one book I bought that has been so incredibly interesting and different than most astrology books out there. You can find it used for maybe $7. It's called "The Art of Predictive Astrology by Carol Rushman." I think you find it very informative in your astrology studies!!

I have to run and don't want to lose what I wrote. Thanks again for the feedback, I hope others will post as well.

ProgressedMoonInScropio said:
Wow!! I don't even know where to start!

I didn't realize I had THREE unaspected planets..it's interesting because I JUST started looking into unaspected planets but in the context of synastry not natally. So I will definitely be looking into that.

As far as my home life, it was stable in the sense that we lived in the same house from the time my mom was pregnant with me until I was 12. But it was an unusual dwelling as it was a 1 bdr apt over a garage. My mom made sure the lights stayed on,. never had people in and out of the house. She did come out to me when I was 8 that she was a lesbian and had 1 gf move in with us. Other than that I had a pretty quiet home life. I do remember receiving "spankings" and sometimes unnecessary cruelty from her. But she has since apologized. I am very close to my mother. Now my father you were right, he left when I was 4 and what's interesting about Saturn heading for my IC is that when Saturn first crossed my IC he left me. As far as drug use I know my dad was into cocaine and I'm not sure what else as he was a truck driver those yrs I didn't see him. He came back into my life when I was about 8. Then I sought him out when I turned 18 and we now have a relationship. But he is ill now he's on dialysis and just as recently as two months ago he suffered a minor stroke. My hope is that as Saturn is passing my IC again he doesn't leave me again..if you know what I mean.

Also now that you mention Neptune and the 4th house. It wasn't me who experienced this directly but when my mom turned 16 her and my grandmother and aunts joined a cult. Well they didn't realize at the time but it started as a church but later lead to drug use, the "pastor" taking people's money and threatening people. Part of the reason why I didn't see my dad for yrs is because my mom and my family got away from it but he didn't. My mom was fearful and didn't want me around the man who was behind all of it. And yes I remember her telling me that she had tried cocaine because of the cult they were involved in. They forced my mother to marry my father @ 17 and she had me @ 18 yrs old. So I can see now why there may have been some resentment on her part as I was growing up. She wanted to be a professional tennis player and she said if it wasn't for her situation she probably wouldn't have had kids. I am an only child. She does feel that we were meant to be paired together though. Our relationship is very stable and she's usually the first person I call when I have a problem.

I am slowly trying to figure out how to find a balance in my life that will make me happy. I was in a long-term relationship for almost 7 yrs. I have two children. He wanted to marry me but I didn't because I didn't want to feel "trapped". My thinking was that if we break up and we weren't married I could make a clean "break" meaning no divorces or fighting over property. During those 6 almost 7yrs I was a stay-at-home mom and I hated every moment of it even though in the beginning I wanted it very much and still have very traditional views on this. But given that I crave excitment or some sort of newness every so often being home made me feel bored and isolated. So I escaped through tv shows and computer games. I took care of my kids but I could only muster up the bare minimum when it came to caring for my house. It was a very miserable time for me. When I look back on it I feel really bad about my behavior and am appalled by it.

I have been following my progressed chart and I am very relieved to be have my moon go into Sagittarius. I've read that it will be a bit of an easier time for me emotionally. What I'm most looking forward to is being able to not be so attached to people or ideas. Also I know that I am coming up on a bunch of Saturn transits in November and back in July I asked a horary question of if these transits might trigger an opportunity for a long term relationship and just from my basic knowledge it looks like yes, but I'm not sure the ends and outs and what the general feeling of it will be. But I know the opportunity may come up. I looked up my transits for the beginning of next yr and they look really good. So I am looking forward to that as well. I've only started studying astrology within the last yr seriously but I leaned more towards relational astrology. But what I have learned about myself has been amazing. I have learned what my NN is and my purpose as I have somewhat accepted I am still internally fighting with it as my SN wants to pull me to old habits of wanting to find love and be in relationships even though my soul wants to learn how to love people thru friendships. It's a struggle lol.

There is so much more I could go on about but I don't want to take too much more of your time. This is has been really eye opening for me. It truly has, thank you! :smile:

ETA: Another interesting observation regarding my moon conjuncting Mars and being associated with my mom is she's an Aries which is ruled by Mars! lol My dad is a Virgo!
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