Any indications of psychological turmoil in my chart? How to work through?

[poster did not give an astrological interpretation so moved to Greenhorns Lounge - Moderator]

I think that having chiron in the 10th house brings about feeling inadequate when presenting yourself to others, when in the realm of work, and ambition.

If you look to the very bottom of the chart the IC, is the place where you feel your roots, your home, your heart....
You have neptune conjunct that area....
You may have experienced a missing father, in the way of emotions or missing some sort of an aspect of what home should be to you in your eyes. You feel dis-illusioned in that area of your life, like what you thought things were are not...
Uranus is also conjunct the IC. A placement where you never really felt like you could put down roots. You may feel like you did not belong at home. You may have had to grow up very early and become independent as well.

I was reading from Liz Green and she was saying in her book Relating, that the mother's attitudes towards the child is seen in the 10th house with any planets there.
My mother was an escapist alcoholic and demanded that I was at her beck and call to hide her problems. I have neptune on my MC in the 10th house and this is very much like her. I have also chosen a career to help those with medical issues, so my co-dependant issues with my mother are now gone, I still find myself helping others that probably dont deserve it.

I see your chiron so close there. Was your mother wounded, did she hurt you, was she deeply hurt so she may show herself like this in your life?

It seems like you feel like your basic needs may not have been met as a child, as seen in your chart. So you find other ways of nurturing yourself, but drugs, self-inflicted pain and so forth...

I see a beautiful opportunity to care for others. Chiron in the 10th makes it very hard to heal yourself, but through healing others you can get a better self-esteem and strength from within....
You have a moon rising and it rules the 10th house, so this can make you very nurturing towards others, you have to be careful though not to take on too much of others pain, you must protect yourself.

Your 6th house rules neptune and shows where you are good at in terms of service. I think that this is beautiful because you can bring the issues you had in your home to help serve others.

I have so many hard placments in my chart is isnt even funny. I am self-destructive too. I know where you are coming from and I think that finding an outlet to that behavior is so important, and this is such an important first step in finding something positive for you to heal.

I think that seeing your sun and mercury in the 9th house is a blessing. My lovely sister has this natally and I have it happening as a transit right now. I think that academia will serve you well. School, studying life, studying things around you can be healing. As a gemini, in the 9th house you have the gift to go out and learn so much, it is getting past the esteem issues first. If you just say "I will do it" and go out there and make a point to leave the house and say hi to people it may stimulate your sun to really grow.

A flower does not flourish without being nurtured. You may not have had that with your family, but you can always nurture yourself. When you give yourself water, sunlight and a little bit of fertilizer (lol) you can become the flower you want to be, a rose, a daisy, a fern...whatever you want out of life is yours for the taking!

Honestly, I hate to be around people, but I have made it a point this year to do it! I have met some bad people and some nice people, but going out there and being me has been the best experience of it all.

I wish you luck.

Oh my gosh if you look at Nurses, they come from the most dysfuctional familes that I have ever heard of.
I myself had alcoholic parents, had to raise both sisters and take care of them. I left home at the age of 13. I mean the list of "messed up" goes on and on.
I find that taking care of others heals me. I love what I do. I nurture others.
There are very few people I meet that have had these normal childhoods. I mean we can sit here and blame everything our parents did on our mistakes and issues.
I dont think anything that happened as a child to you can ever make you a bad person, or someone who cannot accomplish anything unless you let it.
These anxiety issues you speak of are disabling. I really think that the best thing to do is to face your fear. Fears come from within, they are learned behaviors to protect ourselves from danger. Fear is about survival.

If you survived the fear lingers, and this is something that is hard to release yourself from but it is very doable.

You wanted us to look and see what we thought in your chart was helpful for you...I told you...you took a positive and put it down.
This shows that you dont openly accept that you do have gifts from within.

You said:
I'm stuck thinking only about the downside to having to deal with it all and the corresponding anxiety and dread that follows me around.

You are only stuck to your own internal conflict.
No one is saying "hey carry around all of this anxiety and dread and carry it with you in a backpack."
You choose to carry anxiety and dread.
Release yourself from it!!!
It is "sad" as you said.
I am constantly battling these thoughts about myself too. But then I just keep on remembering that these are what I think of me, not what others see from the outside.

I would take the word anxiety and replace it with a positive. What gives you the most anxiety? For me it is going out in public and being around a lot of people. I just went yesterday and met with a friend from work and I was really dreading it. I did it and had a blast. Fill the negative thoughts with positive ones. For every negative thing you think, you must stop and say something positive in its place.

I have yet to read the book "Fearless Living" I have heard it is wonderful, I think it would help us both.

I know I have many fears, but they are all mine. Created in my head only to hurt me and hinder my growth.

The more you accept yourself, love yourself the fears just melt away.

I totally understand what you are going through!
It is awful to be so anxious to not be able to live a normal life.

I thank you very much for recommending that book to me, I actually have wanted to get a new book!

I hope someday all my fears will melt away.

I do also think there is more to your chart there that I am not pointing out, so hold on for someone else to comment on it.

I see a few difficulties also with Saturn. I have been wanting to get Saturn and old devil, by liz green (I believe that is the name)
With those saturn squares and oppositions that you have I would look into saturn and his placement in your chart...