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Unread 09-02-2008, 07:01 PM
undertoad undertoad is offline
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Join Date: Jan 2008
Location: Glasgow, Scotland
Posts: 17
Smile Strange relationship

Hi all

I'd really appreciate any comments you can make on this composite chart.

I've also included comments on things that strike me on the synastry chart, but not included either it or my chart. I regret this, as I've posted a bit and read this site extensively, and I'm in awe of the amount of knowledge, wisdom and generosity shown by people here. However, the other person would take it as a breach of trust for me to post her chart - even anonymised - or the composite + my chart which would allow hers to be deduced. This is no reflection on people here, but it is a public forum - let's just say that she has good reason to be extremely protective about her personal information, and I must respect that. I realise that this makes any help you might be able to give much more difficult - as an alternative I'm seriously considering, can anyone recommend a professional, serious astrologer I could consult in person? I'm in Scotland. I'd be looking for an in-depth meeting with someone with true insight, and great astrological expertise at their fingertips. Is there an association that can guarantee this kind of quality in its members?

Feel free to say "no can do without the synastry" or "see an astrologer personally" - but I'd be grateful for any insights you may have.

1. The relationship

This is a wonderful relationship, but a very strange one. We live thousands of miles away from each other, and had one month together in her country and three months in mine. That was three years ago. I didn't move to her country after that for a whole load of reasons that are only clear in retrospect - disappointment on the second visit (more at myself, the life I was leading/had to be leading for financial reasons, and what it was doing to me unawares, than with her), feeling I wasn't "old" or powerful enough in myself to deal with the relationship, bad hangovers from a previous relationship of mine (which was in the same, far-distant country), that kind of thing.

We've both tried to go out and find someone else, and agreed long ago that we wouldn't be "faithful". Doesn't seem to have made any difference! We've always been in each others' thoughts, in spite of trying hard to just get on with life where we are. And have had intense, wonderful email and phone conversations all the time, though less in the past year. The way this relationship persists has been sometimes inspiring, sometimes infuriating (I think she'd say this too).

Things seem to have moved dramatically recently. We're both moving (not through airports or along roads, in the other sense), I've figured a lot of things out; we've had a series of incredible, wonderful conversations last week, trying to put more space in the relationship so that we can get on with our lives, without actually abandoning it: and the paradoxical effect on me is to make this relationship even bigger and more wonderful, more valuable than I ever realised.

I just can't figure it out though. I've tried, we've tried, we both got Liz Greene's report from astro.com (based on the composite chart) years ago, and ideas from it come up when we have a big talk. I'm coming to the conclusion that I should stop trying to figure it out and just DO IT - go there for a few months, when I can (9 months' time at the earliest, after a postgrad course), and see what happens. And meanwhile, trust in it, and get on with what I'm doing. She'd like to come here for a few months, (to see me, as well as other, career-related things of her own: the presence of both factors - her own interests and me, is very important, I feel), but I can lay hands on money much more easily. Just going there and DOING it was exactly what burned me before - but the circumstances, my maturity, and the honesty and honour of that completely separate other person, were very different back then.

I've tried to pull out things from the charts, but would appreciate any comments on things I'm missing/misinterpreting. The core of my "central question" would be: how would this relationship translate as a "real" relationship, with us together? Or would it be better left as a deep, long-distance friendship? I know what answer I'd LIKE to hear - but what obstacles might there be to this, once the distance was eliminated?

2. The synastry chart

This is a chart I've only looked at today, but I am looking at it "fresh and cold", since I believe the Liz Greene thing is based on the composite chart rather than this one. For the reasons above I haven't included it.

Her Jupiter conj my Sun/Mercury loose conjunction (Gemini, her 9th/my 8th H; the house and sign of my Sun, Mercury, Venus and Saturn):
No other woman I've met seems "big" or powerful enough. To meet anyone who could put her out of my mind, that person would have to be enormously present and powerful. Talking with her and being with her makes me feel every bit of my power is needed, wanted and required, the world is huge and interesting. In comparison, other women are just a bit boring. Liz Greene's analysis is that I expand her world as well, though I won't speak for her here.

Her Moon closely conj my Saturn (Gem, 8th H both); with her Nth Node in loose conj, expanding this to a Moon/Nth Node (her) and Venus/Saturn (me) stellium:
I'm not sure what this means. There's something intuitively plausible (a faint bell ringing) about the Moon/Saturn conj, but I can't quite grasp it. I'm not very familiar with the Nodes, so anything that strikes people who are more expert on them would be a great help.

I have Saturn (Tau/Gem cusp, 8th H) opp Jupiter (Scorp/Sag cusp, 1st H), and less closely opp Neptune (also Scorp/Sag cusp, 1st H). This is a Yod with my Sun (late Gem, 8th) and Moon (Aries/Taurus cusp, conj DC). The other end of the Yod doesn't seem to "hit" anything in her chart - but the "blunt" end, with my Saturn at my Sun/Moon midpoint, has her Moon just 1 degree off this midpoint.

Any ideas on
a) my Saturn/her Moon conj
b) the Node
c) Her Moon being on my Sun/Moon midpoint?
d) this midpoint also being the midpoint of the "blunt" end of my Yod?

Her Moon being pretty much on my Sun/Moon midpoint seems a powerful placing.

Her Mercury opp my Venus:
Talking, talking, talking! I could talk to this woman all day and all night, no-one has a mind quite like hers. At this distance talking and occasional gifts is all we have, and it seems to have been sufficient to keep the thing going.

Grand Trine between my Pluto (Virg, 11th H), my Saturn (marginally in Tau, Gem cusp, 8th) and her Venus (Cap/Aqu cusp, marginally in Aqu 4th/5th H cusp):
I don't know what this might mean, except to relate it to what the Liz Greene report says about this relationship's power. Any ideas? It looks like a powerful, stable configuration on the chart (neither of us has one of these) - but involving Venus, a very personal planet given that it's hers, she's a woman, and I love her; with my two least happy'n'cuddly'n'cosy planets!

2. The composite chart

God this is a weird chart. I mean, utterly unlike either mine or hers. And what's with all this Virgo action? 5 planets in there: Sun, Mercury, Jupiter, Pluto, Uranus. Sun and Pluto conj, (in my chart Sun is square Pluto; in hers Uranus is conj Pluto - so the whole thing is Plutonian as hell. But then, we both already are quite Plutonian, separately).

Mercury and Jupiter also conj (big talking!) - Uranus (as you'd expect) a bit out on his own doing his weird thing.

Virgo is a sign I don't understand, of not much interest to me up til now since it hardly figures in my chart - and here it is massively stellated in this relationship. I've read a few Virgo interpretations for these planets, aimed at natal astrology, but they don't really make sense to me. There seems to be a lot of "intellect" in the interpretations (good match to my heavily Gemini nature), along with lots of heavy, strange, deep transformation stuff (Uranus, Pluto and Sun all in 12th House). This fits with my intuition that doing the brave thing, going there and giving it a try (I don't think she'd move here permanently, she doesn't like it) will "take me out of myself", and not just because of the change of location (I already know and love her country). I'm not sure whether being "taken out of myself" is a good or bad thing - sometimes it seems exactly needed, sometimes I'm scared, lazy or just too-comfortable about this prospect.

And this Virgo battle-fleet is focussing massive energy, like a fleet of Star Destroyers, on the poor little Moon on its own, in the house of relationships I believe. They're not death-rays, they're 4 Trines, supposedly harmonious, from every planet there except Uranus. But it does look like the Moon is overloaded. Can it handle it? Or maybe I'm underestimating the tiny rock thing - perhaps it just reflects it all back serenely (and selenely).
What might this mean?

Saturn is conj Descendant. Certainly limitation/difficulty. But does this refer to our circumstances, so far apart, or to the longer term? I can see the obvious positive of Saturn close enough to 7th H - just in the fact that this relationship has persisted for so long, a feeling of tried and tested loyalty to each other (or to the relationship - sometimes it seems so powerful it's almost a third person). But what does 6th H, Aries, COnj DC mean?

Neptune is in almost exactly the same house position as in my chart, and reasonably powerfully aspected to the Sun, Uranus and Pluto. Is this relationship real? It's only real to me and her, it's very difficult to explain it to anyone else - while it remains long-distance, but still confusingly powerful. The aspects are harmonious, which makes me realise that at least I'm practised at long-distance relationships, how to not get lost in them as fantasies (benefit of experience - a previous one where I did it all wrong, and got burned - and I mean BURNED, as in Pluto, Lilith and Kali teamed up in a squad with flamethrowers and extensive previous joint training exercises).

There's very little Mars and Venus involvement. They look a bit left out, though they are sextiled, and Mars has a Trine with Uranus. Might this have to do with sex? Obviously there's been no sex for 3 years, given the distance - and though we're very much attracted to each other, I think we both agree that the sex didn't at all live up to everything else we feel: will need a lot of work. An interpretation for Neptune in Sco says much the same thing "the choice between expecting automatic emotional fulfillment through sex or committing oneself to the self-purification that will actually bring about the realization of those ideals".

There's a lot of Earth in this chart - much more than in our separate charts, which are airy and firy. My feeling is that truly committing to this relationship will truly be planting my foundations, once and for all, knuckling down as I have to eventually in some way. This is both attractive and a bit scary.

These are the things I can see. I could write much more outside the charts, could probably exceed whatever the post-length limit might be on this site - but I'm hoping that some of you here may be able to see things I'm missing, or re-interpret things I may be misinterpreting.

Many thanks for any insights or advice!
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File Type: gif MeAndHerComposite_ChartOnly.gif (31.6 KB, 12 views)
File Type: gif MeAndHerComposite_Data.gif (18.0 KB, 3 views)

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