What is going on with us?

Hello everyone!

I have been dating him for around a month now,
and we've been going back and forth (in my mind at least) between
serious and playful, but we've been so close and such a support
for one another. Our relationship seemed so lovely and loving,
exiting yet so comfortable, and we could hardly spend a day
without eachother. Suddently, it changed.
Now I'm wondering if he is doubting me, himself or/and our relationship.
He's hardly ever texting me or calling me, and it's breaking my heart
because I honestly dont know what to do.

I don't let myself go into relationships, and I know he is the same way.
I'm wondering if our composite chart hints at what our relationship
is. Is it a romantic, is it a support until we both feel better, and ready
for something else, is it just a discovery that romance exists?

Anything regarding what is going on, and what this relationship has
to offer, will be soo much help for me! Thank you !!

I am posting our synastry chart aswell, in hopes that someone out there will have something to comment on.
Really, honestly, anything is very welcomed right now - i am completely clueless about this relationship at the moment

I have not been able to find any info on our north node being in good aspects,
someone told me it's a "soulmate" aspect, but I have doubts, even if it is true,
I dont think that aspect of our synastry would be enough!

Also his pluto conjunct my venus, which falls in his 5th house, is that really a good sign?
It is after all opposing his venus (which falls in my 7th, close to the 8th but in r - is that a good sign??).

His asc being cancer, and his moon and jupiter being in his 11th, my 9th
suggests to me that this is a journey of self discovery for me, which rings true to me,
but on a personal basis i'm afraid maybe that was the whole point of our relationship,
for me to open my eyes, and expand a few horizons.


Advice, please? Thank you.
xx

Anyone?

Getting pretty desperate by now

Good luck, Victoria...

Pluto/Venus is obsessive and hard to let go of....deep connection. I'll take a look later today.

Thank you so much!! Absolutely craving more info.
I'm into intense relationships, but now it seems to me
that his intrest in me is dabbing off, and I feel my
moon/pluto square coming into play feeling rejected and revenge lustfull.
Which i am obviously not too happy about, cause we had SUCH a
happy relationship up to now. I always let him take the lead,
which I thought he'd be happy with (his venus in aries) but now
he's stopped, and I tried to take over and be inviting, and now
it seems like he's blowing me off (allthough he might just actually be
really busy)... confused to say the least!! Please take a look
and give me feedback, I'd like to know how to move our relationship
forwards, or if it's a hopeless case, i'd like to know so I can move on.
Though, id prefer the first one


Been reading up on our juno.
Mine is conjunct mercury in libra 1house,
his is 27 dg scorpio, retrograde in 5th house.
Hmm....

Anyway, thank you so SO so much !! xx

Hi Victoria,

I'm taking a look, and the first thing that jumps out is composite moon opposition Neptune. I think moon in tension or Venus in tension with Neptune can be debilitating to a relationship. Kind of like your fantasies keep getting in the way of both of you seeing the relationship clearly. This is kind of a projector screening a film of a beautiful romance...really intoxicating, but when the film runs it's course, poof, the connection is erased. Neptuning disturbing the finer romantic instincts can definitely deepen the glamour and the harmony of the connection, but it is never accountable to the reality of a relationship existing in the real world.

You've got a bunch of planets in his 4th house....really compelling. Especially your sun on
his I.c. He must see you as a haven from the world...

One thing I like to do, is look at personal planets and points in the composite, and then look to see if there are any personal points and planets exactly conjunct (within a couple degrees) those composite degrees. This will tell you a whole lot about how important the relationship is to each of you. I can't see your natal degrees so I can't tell if you have matches there.

Also, looks like there's a lot of Saturn contacts. I really don't see saturn contacts as negative, I think they kinda make you feel obligated and responsible towards each other...that why it's not bad to have them in relationships if there are other things going on to bring the fun. Again, I can't see the degrees, so I don't really know how binding this Saturn stuff is. Looks like your Saturn squares his Venus and his Saturn squares your sun and conjuncts your moon. Does he get annoyed with you over silly stuff that shouldn't really annoy him? Again, can't see the degrees in the dynasty so I may be off. Can you post the natals?

Havent got time to respond to you right now, but will respond AS SOON AS I WAKE UP TOMORROW <3 thank you!!

please, the more to read the less reason i have to hate the world for running out of coffee tomorrow morning

Here are our natals

Me, born 29 08 89
he, born 20 04 77

THANK YOU

Well, he looks like quite a happy, stable guy. I don't see a huge amount of interplay between your natals and composite, but that's just one theory going.
With all that Taurus, he is going to be very steady in his life, liking to make decisions and stick to them. He will take his time to get close, so I would say just wait and see. With the Venus in Aries, he will be attracted to someone who is really independent, so the more you show him you are doing fine either way, the more relaxed and open he will be. I would like to see another take on this, because I am a bit distracted at the moment and can't go too in depth, but honestly, if it doesn't work out, at least you won't have to contend with that loopy moon/ Neptune. That really makes me uncomfortable, as the moon craves security and is all reflection so it needs an anchor...Neptune in hard aspect just leaves it adrift at sea.

However, Saturn is supporting Neptune....this may totally change the picture. With Saturn in support of Neptune, you have the dreams but they are grounded in reality. You may inspire each other artistically.

Something else important...your moons are not too friendly. While they are out of orbit for synastry, they are in squaring signs, so really think if you are compatible emotionally. I have seen all kinds of synastry work out that seems a bit difficult, but moons are what we really need nourished in a relationship in the long run. We all need to be with someone that gets us emotionally, even if we are the coolest cucumbers in the produce isle. We need that other person to understand if we need space, or just to generally dig our vibe when we are lounging around in pajamas. Relationships with dueling moons can be the most painful, because there is passion and understanding there, but not a lot of comfort or relaxation. This square is too far out to be considered active, but it is also not generally helpful to you....I'm gonna check on your sun/ moon midpoints and that will be more important info....

So, your moon is in hard aspect (perhaps a bit widely at 3 degrees) to his sun/moon midpoint. That may be a hair too wide to consider, but maybe not. If it's not too wide, that, in addition to several other contacts, is certainly enough to build an important relationship on. I would just be very clear about your emotional connection, and that it is working well for you both. You have great chemistry for the short term...but it is up to you if you feel you can offer each other something substantial. Your gut will tell you, and I don't mean you need to feel it is perfect before making a choice. But you know who is your true ally in life pretty quick after meeting them, it's not something you will need to loose (too much ) sleep over. Good luck, and it's all a discovery process!

Composite South Node afflicts planets in the 11th house, and currently SN is transiting that 11th composite chart house (SN passing currently through Gemini) This SN activation is doubly prominent because it is going on now via transit and is in the composite in the same sign (Gemini) afflicting composite Mars and composite Jupiter. SN** = chaotic and unreliable influences, and challenges steady order and steady developments: seems this chaotic influence is what the OP is complaining about relative to her relationship.
This disruptive influence will pass after September 2012 (when the SN transits out of the relevant Gemini sign), so there should be + improvement in the relationship (at least as projected from the composite).
More on the composite indications, forthcoming later...


**Note: another characteristic of SN influence is-sudden change, especially for no apparent reason...

"Let's say there is a Moon opposition Neptune in a composite chart. We can see that potential for disappointment is connected with the composite Moon—the emotional pipeline of the relationship. At the beginning of the relationship, there can be a very strong feeling of familiarity and comfort, and an emotional connection that seems out of this world. The problem that can arise from the elation the couple feels on an emotional level can stem from the perceptions of each individual involved, and the expectations they develop in the early stages of the relationship. When elation brings you very high, the fall is hard. Some of the initial feelings that a comp. Moon opposite Neptune can generate include feeling like one's partner is the most supportive person one has ever met, for example. Over time, that partner will falter and stumble in the emotional department, as he or she is human. The problem with Neptune is that the expectations can be so great that they are inhuman. Another problem with Neptune is a lack of definition. Misunderstandings between individual expectations of the partnership are often the result of unclear communication. Sometimes, there is outright deception involved, but most of the time it is nothing of the sort. Neither party means to promise more than he or she can deliver, but they may be guilty of trying to fill the shoes of the ideal image that has been set up for them, and tip-toeing around hard cold facts or commitments."


There is alot of truth in this, but as you say, twelthnight,
"Saturn is supporting Neptune....this may totally change the picture. With Saturn in support of Neptune, you have the dreams but they are grounded in reality. You may inspire each other artistically"

Which again is VERY true. We met in our most vounerable state, in a hospital, and we both know about the most traumatic experiences of eachother, and we've seen one anther at our worst, still there is so much understanding and compassion. I can only speak for me, but I am not intrested in the view I have of him, I'm intrested in the REAL him (wich is a first, neptune square venus in my natal !!)
I think we are both aware of relationship let downs, like, on our first date, we watched the film "A cat on a hot tin roof" with elizabeth taylor (his favourite - which he wishes he could write a biography about - I'm trying to encourage him) and he pointed out that he was always like her in relationships, codependent and questioning and desperate for more love. That in my mind, seems to be my role in this relationship as of right now. Although I am now not contacting him (first). He should have the opportunity to miss me, and want to talk to me

As for our moon-moon aspect, I agree. Not ideal,
but my moon is sign trine with his venus, and my sun is sign trine with his.
And the composite sun is conjunct composite moon.. which must be good for something? So, isn't there a possibility that the moon-moon can be made up for? Or am I just being a dreamer?

And Dr. Farr, Thank you! I had no idea, please tell me more.
Is there any aspects with the composite north node?
I would think that would be alot more positive?
In a way i think we've half planned going away together in juli, so september seems like a very long time away! Hah!

Thank you both, so much !

Additional interpretation of the composite chart:

Yes it IS a potential romantic relationship: 5th house under Sagittarius, contains the fortunate North Node; 5th house lord Jupiter is the most elevated planet in the composite chart and is posited in the 11th house (friendship, gains and the Good Spirit)

However Uranus and Neptune are also in that 5th house (house of romance) These planets give a great deal of changes, sudden situations, unclear (Neptune) or confused (Neptune) qualities; further sudden change Uranus is applying to opposition to Jupiter, lord of this 5th house: so, I would consider this 5th house "loaded", intense, with a potent mix of both benefic (NN and Jupiter dispositorship) and disruptive (Uranus especially) energies, which suggests to me that the romantic aspects of this relationship (which are definitely there at least in potential) could "cut" (develop) either way: but definitely beware of sudden actions, sudden/drastic reactions, (coming from the Uranian influence)-these if allowed to sweep over the relationship, could wreck it (at least at the romantic level): clearness (opposing the Neptune influence) of intent and direction, and slow, steady, non-sudden, non dramatic qualities applied to this house (romance), will off-set the potentially disruptive Uranian influence, shown in this house...

More composite information later...

PHEW!! So happy to hear that!! I absolutely feel the potential between us, and I have grown quite fond of him very fast, so there isnt really much of a problem in my eyes exept the fact that I know we are two different people, I don't want to overstep his boundries and yet I'd like to be elusive enought to be interesting - it is after all still in the start phase of a relationship.

Is there any info in the charts on what he might feel about me?
Pure sexual intrest, friendship first, potential deep love or just.. let's see..?

I'm getting worried because it's been 9 days since we went on our last date, and we havent spoken at all in 3 days. I'm trying to be stubborn and let him take the lead, but it's driving me mad.
I'm wondering if I should contact him now and ask him out friday,
or if I should just let it go and figgure when he's ready he'll ask?

Thank you so much for your info, Dr. Farr!!!
Do you mean that anything too sudden between us is a bad idea, and
that we should try and slow things down more than be spontanious and go with the flow, for the 5th house energy to kick in?
I can hardly wait for more!! Thank you!

Not really-I mean that acting on sudden impulses FOR ANYTHING SERIOUS is to be avoided, making important DECISIONS too suddenly, is to be avoided; nothing really about too fast, and no need to "slow down", just beware of serious actions or important decisions being made too suddenly, without proper consideration; impulses are not be feared, but taking sudden important actions, is what is to be avoided.

I guess the tread was moved? Don't really think it's a "read my chart"
sort of a discussion, but okay, hopefully some people are still with
me on my questions!


That's good to hear! And that is absolutely something I'm aware of,
as for me and him, not to act rashly or too spontaniously.
It's been a long time since eighter of us were in a serious relationship,
so I completely see what you are saying, Dr. Farr!

Im curious as to if there is anything that points out from our chart
what/ how he feels about me. Anyone?

Just had a lovely little date with him, and it has completely restored my
faith in our relationship. We clearly feel for eachother.
New date on sunday, Whoop whoop !

Thank you so much for responding!
Hope to hear more!!

SO frustrated at the moment!!
Basically, we had a great day together on friday, felt the spark and it was so organic and natural and lovely, I told him i was meeting up with a friend (who is a man, but just a friend) on saturday, which i could tell make him a bit worried, so he asked me if i'd like to come to his flat on sunday and just relax and watch films, to which i agreed. So today when i woke up (late after drinking alot on saturday) I texted him asking when he'd like me to come up to his flat, and guess what....... NO REPLY.
It would have been absolutely fine if he'd texted back saying "i dont feel like it today" or anything really, just the fackt that he's ignored me... Not okay !!!!

I dont know what to do about it.

Please, please, please - ANYONE
Does the chart indicate if he actually has feelings for me?
Has he gone off me, or are there other factors here?

Anything anyone has to say will be much apprechiated!
thanks

This is an example of one of those sudden, unclear and confusing Uranus and Neptune things I mentioned in my delineation of the composite: what to do is to keep trying until your reach him, and then talk about it in straightforward and clear terms, and avoid any confusion and misunderstanding (avoid Neptune) and go forward from there...

Men are from Mars (women are from Venus) hehe. I could speak for most men. Men tend to pull away at some point during a relationship. simply, it's because they don't want to lose themselves in the relationship. He's not a woman (a highly emotional creature). When a man is engaged with you emotionally, after awhile, he has to withdraw back into his own space. It's very hard for men trying to relax, talk or connect with women all the time. They're losing focus, unable to work, etc. Men aren't used to that emotional roller coasters or mood swings that women feel on a day to day basis. Men will feel suffocated and raise their stress levels. They'll want to be left on their own for awhile. when feel better, they'll come back to you.