Virtue of being self-absorbed?

Somewhere here was mentioned the narcissism.

It is a general assumption that we are becoming more and more narcisistic.

But the problem is not so much really being narcissists but being under pressure to act like narcissists. In the world of increasing competition people have to prove themselves, they have to prove that they are something special, ambitious, that they will make in life something extraordinary. People have to sell themselves as future stars being at the same time constantly confronted
with the danger of failure, jobless position, ending at the bottom of the social ladder.

Acting as a narcissist is a pressure and a mode of survival. It keeps feeding the image of successful and shiny society.

demetraceres said:

Somewhere here was mentioned the narcissism.

It is a general assumption that we are becoming more and more narcisistic.

But the problem is not so much really being narcissists but being under pressure to act like narcissists. In the world of increasing competition people have to prove themselves, they have to prove that they are something special, ambitious, that they will make in life something extraordinary. People have to sell themselves as future stars being at the same time constantly confronted
with the danger of failure, jobless position, ending at the bottom of the social ladder.

Acting as a narcissist is a pressure and a mode of survival. It keeps feeding the image of successful and shiny society.

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So....what are you going to be GREAT at?

Who knows - maybe shining at the bottom of the social ladder

demetraceres said:

Who knows - maybe shining at the bottom of the social ladder

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I'm being the BEST me I can be!

Yes, you are

Okay...

Back on discussion!!

demetraceres said:

Somewhere here was mentioned the narcissism.

It is a general assumption that we are becoming more and more narcisistic.

But the problem is not so much really being narcissists but being under pressure to act like narcissists. In the world of increasing competition people have to prove themselves, they have to prove that they are something special, ambitious, that they will make in life something extraordinary. People have to sell themselves as future stars being at the same time constantly confronted
with the danger of failure, jobless position, ending at the bottom of the social ladder.

Acting as a narcissist is a pressure and a mode of survival. It keeps feeding the image of successful and shiny society.

Click to expand...

A little bit of narcissism is actually really important to be a healthy person mentally.

And I think pressure to be a star and aiming for your ambitions is WAY better than settling for stagnation and mediocracy.

AppLeo said:

Okay...

Back on discussion!!

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An Individualist is one who trusts the impulses of one's own Natal-chart, instead of blindly following the dictates of Society and/or Tradition. A "Self-directed" Individualist is able to do this without ignoring the fact that others have the right to follow their own Charts as well. (Of course, one doesn't need to know Astrology to follow the impulses of one's Chart.)
Btw, that's the best of the Ayn Rand quotes, as long as you don't know what she means by "Man"--it excludes anyone who can't function well enough within the Capitalist economic system. That's her scale of measurement.

demetraceres said:

Somewhere here was mentioned the narcissism.

It is a general assumption that we are becoming more and more narcisistic.

But the problem is not so much really being narcissists but being under pressure to act like narcissists. In the world of increasing competition people have to prove themselves, they have to prove that they are something special, ambitious, that they will make in life something extraordinary. People have to sell themselves as future stars being at the same time constantly confronted
with the danger of failure, jobless position, ending at the bottom of the social ladder.

Acting as a narcissist is a pressure and a mode of survival. It keeps feeding the image of successful and shiny society.

Click to expand...

david starling said:

An Individualist is one who trusts the impulses of one's own Natal-chart, instead of blindly following the dictates of Society and/or Tradition. A "Self-directed" Individualist is able to do this without ignoring the fact that others have the right to follow their own Charts as well. (Of course, one doesn't need to know Astrology to follow the impulses of one's Chart.)
Btw, that's the best of the Ayn Rand quotes, as long as you don't know what she means by "Man"--it excludes anyone who can't function well enough within the Capitalist economic system. That's her scale of measurement.

Click to expand...

Reclaim your mind - Terence McKenna

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=RC7aud4b3dQ

Cap said:

Reclaim your mind - Terence McKenna

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=RC7aud4b3dQ

Click to expand...

An Individualist can enjoy social media and pop culture without losing sense of self. In the late 60's, Krishnamurti lived nearby my neighborhood, and a friend and I caught him in a sociable mood and he allowed us to visit him. He was watching an old Western on T.V., and seemed to be enjoying it quite a bit. My friend thought it was deplorable, and questioned his "Spiritual wisdom" (after we left). But that was really his whole point--do what YOU like, not what others tell you is "Spiritually Correct". Being yourself is the only true Spiritual-path.
[A little background about the visit to see Krishnamurti: He was staying in a house provided him by one of his wealthy devotees while he was lecturing in the area. This was in L.A., where it's "who you know", and my friend had the right connections. She wanted to see the great Sage and receive wisdom, but he acted very casual--not like a "Holy Man" as she had envisioned him to be. I half-suspected he played the trickster and behaved in a way he knew would shake her mindset, but no way to know for sure.]

AppLeo said:

And I think pressure to be a star and aiming for your ambitions is WAY better than settling for stagnation and mediocracy.

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You can see it that way, but with such an attitude the uniqueness of every single human being is denied.

AppLeo said:

A little bit of narcissism is actually really important to be a healthy person mentally.

And I think pressure to be a star and aiming for your ambitions is WAY better than settling for stagnation and mediocracy.

Click to expand...

There was this fun pop psychology saying, that was about personal relationships: I'm Okay, You're Okay
People paraphrased it: I'm Okay, not so sure about You

david starling said:

An Individualist can enjoy social media and pop culture without losing sense of self. In the late 60's, Krishnamurti lived nearby my neighborhood, and a friend and I caught him in a sociable mood and he allowed us to visit him. He was watching an old Western on T.V., and seemed to be enjoying it quite a bit. My friend thought it was deplorable, and questioned his "Spiritual wisdom" (after we left). But that was really his whole point--do what YOU like, not what others tell you is "Spiritually Correct". Being yourself is the only true Spiritual-path.
[A little background about the visit to see Krishnamurti: He was staying in a house provided him by one of his wealthy devotees while he was lecturing in the area. This was in L.A., where it's "who you know", and my friend had the right connections. She wanted to see the great Sage and receive wisdom, but he acted very casual--not like a "Holy Man" as she had envisioned him to be. I half-suspected he played the trickster and behaved in a way he knew would shake her mindset, but no way to know for sure.]

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That's gonna be me in the future. Some hopeful neophyte is going to find me shitting in the bushes one day and walk away disappointed because adepts have no need to drop deuces.

conspiracy theorist said:

That's gonna be me in the future. Some hopeful neophyte is going to find me shitting in the bushes one day and walk away disappointed because adepts have no need to drop deuces.

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Krishnamurti's whole thing was to laugh at his devotees for believing him an Avatar akin to the 2nd Coming, tell them their spiritual practices weren't getting them anywhere and that they needed to think for themselves, and take their money anyway. They never listened!
That neophyte would probably save your sh*t and worship it as a manifestation of your holy attributes!

Man, Krishnamurti sounds like the GOAT guru m8

AppLeo said:

A little bit of narcissism is actually really important to be a healthy person mentally.

And I think pressure to be a star and aiming for your ambitions is WAY better than settling for stagnation and mediocracy.

Click to expand...

If you become a "star" you also become a "public figure" and your private life suffers. Maybe try for "supporting actor" or backup singer.

AppLeo said:

A little bit of narcissism
is actually really important
to be a healthy person mentally.

And I think pressure to be a star
and aiming for your ambitions
is WAY better
than settling for stagnation and mediocracy.

Click to expand...

You can see interdependence at work
by looking at how your own life is sustained.
Is it only through your own exertions?
Do you manufacture all your own resources?
Or do they come from others?
When you contemplate these questions
you will see very quickly
that you are able to exist only because of others

The clothes you wear and the food you eat all come from somewhere else.
Consider the books you read, the cars you ride in, the movies you watch,
and the tools you use.
Not one of us single-handedly makes any of these things for ourselves.

We all rely on outside conditions, including the air we breathe.
Our continued presence here in the world
is an opportunity made possible entirely by others.
17th Karmapa from the book"THE HEART IS NOBLE:
CHANGING THE WORLD FROM THE INSIDE OUT"

JUPITERASC said:

You can see interdependence at work
by looking at how your own life is sustained.
Is it only through your own exertions?
Do you manufacture all your own resources?
Or do they come from others?
When you contemplate these questions
you will see very quickly
that you are able to exist only because of others

The clothes you wear and the food you eat all come from somewhere else.
Consider the books you read, the cars you ride in, the movies you watch,
and the tools you use.
Not one of us single-handedly makes any of these things for ourselves.

We all rely on outside conditions, including the air we breathe.
Our continued presence here in the world
is an opportunity made possible entirely by others.
17th Karmapa from the book"THE HEART IS NOBLE:
CHANGING THE WORLD FROM THE INSIDE OUT"

Click to expand...

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=EpATNp5DjYI&feature=share

http://www.frpeterpreble.com/wp-content/uploads/2015/01/goldfish-freedom.jpg

Selfishness is only bad when you hurt or disregard others for your own gain.
But besides that? It's human nature to be selfish.

I've always struggled with anxiety low self-confidence. Many people tell me not to be so down on myself, stop caring what others think, etc. But then when I am confident, people tell me I'm full of myself. Really?!?!? I actually agree with AppLeo. So long as you're not doing it at the expense of others, there is nothing wrong with talking excessively about yourself (which I do with the expectation that you'll talk excessively about yourself too!), or recognizing and boasting about your own positive qualities. I think some people dislike confident people because they are jealous. Arrogance is bad - that is, when you think you're better than anyone else, but if you're truly confident, you wouldn't need to compare yourself to others and you'd want everyone else to be confident too.

In general though, I think it's mostly women who need to be more confident + selfish, while men should be more considerate of others. Not exclusively, of course - there are selfish arrogant and manipulative women and there are weak men who go out of their way to please others at the expense of themselves - but in general. Really, it's all about balance.