My GF and I - long-term staying power?
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Dubyadude1986
Well-known member
Hey Kitchy.
I am looking at that. That's great advice, thank you.
The biggest one I can see is Moon Asc/ Pluto IC aligning perfectly to... with Uranus and Pluto allowing for a free-ish relationship. They are going on vacation soon to see me before I have the chance to move back, which is better for me regardless.
I decided there is a lot to location astrology as well.
I am looking at that. That's great advice, thank you.
The biggest one I can see is Moon Asc/ Pluto IC aligning perfectly to... with Uranus and Pluto allowing for a free-ish relationship. They are going on vacation soon to see me before I have the chance to move back, which is better for me regardless.
I decided there is a lot to location astrology as well.
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Kitchy
Banned
Dub -
Staying power is equal to commitment. No difference. So you look to 7th house for commitments - Venus ruler of 7th - and Venus located in 8th conjunct Sun & Mars.
There is no doubt - your chart has "staying power" in relationships.
But all those quinx' from Moon to those same planets, you don't recognize that you have it in yourself, or maybe you sit on your hands instead of committing yourself.
There are risks involved in any relation - but I think you might have a predisposition to wanting to force the hand for your partner to be the first one to commit, which you don't seem to confident in and that causes you to sit on your hands.
Well, that - and that conglom square to Uranus Pluto in 11th - "don't fence me in" or else!
Good news is - Saturn trines all those planets and will show you that you're willing to work for that intimate commitment and staying power, but you have to be willing to allow the freedom to your mate that you require for yourself.
Trads would say you have a Mars ruled 1st - I say Pluto - but either way - the interchange of Mars to Pluto from 8th to 11th is the primary issue you have identified.
Staying power is equal to commitment. No difference. So you look to 7th house for commitments - Venus ruler of 7th - and Venus located in 8th conjunct Sun & Mars.
There is no doubt - your chart has "staying power" in relationships.
But all those quinx' from Moon to those same planets, you don't recognize that you have it in yourself, or maybe you sit on your hands instead of committing yourself.
There are risks involved in any relation - but I think you might have a predisposition to wanting to force the hand for your partner to be the first one to commit, which you don't seem to confident in and that causes you to sit on your hands.
Well, that - and that conglom square to Uranus Pluto in 11th - "don't fence me in" or else!
Good news is - Saturn trines all those planets and will show you that you're willing to work for that intimate commitment and staying power, but you have to be willing to allow the freedom to your mate that you require for yourself.
Trads would say you have a Mars ruled 1st - I say Pluto - but either way - the interchange of Mars to Pluto from 8th to 11th is the primary issue you have identified.
sibylline
Well-known member
Okay, so to the question of long-term staying power, I'm going to go with no, I don't think so.
Sorry, I've been looking at her chart for a long time and I simply think that may be a real struggle for her. Her relationship history bears it out. I think she could make an exciting short-term partner, if you're okay with that.
I could give you the astrological reasons why I think no, but I'm sure you're aware. I don't want to go too in-depth about the issues presented in her natal because you're in a relationship with her. I just think you're still young and likely many more opportunities will come your way. So don't think it's this one or nothing.
Sorry, I've been looking at her chart for a long time and I simply think that may be a real struggle for her. Her relationship history bears it out. I think she could make an exciting short-term partner, if you're okay with that.
I could give you the astrological reasons why I think no, but I'm sure you're aware. I don't want to go too in-depth about the issues presented in her natal because you're in a relationship with her. I just think you're still young and likely many more opportunities will come your way. So don't think it's this one or nothing.
I love the way her natal chart looks with that big Green Star right in the middle of the chart. It makes for an exciting, charismatic , multi-faceted personality. She is really something and I am happy that you have had some great years with her.
However, sadly, I have to express some concern for the future. The problem with that big green square is that it is built upon in-conjuncts. It is built upon quincunxes which is all about 'disharmony' and about feeling discomfort and wanting to understand why one is never fully satisfied. When someone has that many in-conjunctions it is nearly impossible to fulfill their needs or to make them feel satisfied or comfortable. Something ALWAYS feels wrong and they are in a constant process of trying to 'fix' things.
It is like the Princess and the Pea, eternally looking for why one cannot sleep happily and what is the source of the discomfort. I do not want YOU to be or to feel like the source of her constant discomfort.
However, sadly, I have to express some concern for the future. The problem with that big green square is that it is built upon in-conjuncts. It is built upon quincunxes which is all about 'disharmony' and about feeling discomfort and wanting to understand why one is never fully satisfied. When someone has that many in-conjunctions it is nearly impossible to fulfill their needs or to make them feel satisfied or comfortable. Something ALWAYS feels wrong and they are in a constant process of trying to 'fix' things.
It is like the Princess and the Pea, eternally looking for why one cannot sleep happily and what is the source of the discomfort. I do not want YOU to be or to feel like the source of her constant discomfort.
Dubyadude1986
Well-known member
That's rough. I appreciate the candidness. I love this woman with all my heart. I said a prayer to God that he would help me repair my relationship and I explained how much I love you. In my world, nothing compares to his love, his power, his being.
I will do everything I can to make it work and if I fail, I do not want to be with anyone else for a very long time. I would miss her terribly.
With that being said, Pluto can be sweet. I told her today, about the place I proposed right before things got rough:
"No matter how many times I went back to the place where you said yes, I never woke up from this awful dream of our breakup the next day." I dreampt of her kissing the sweat off my forehead and smiling at me saying that she is there...
I would love to continue to be her short-term partner because she will always come back, she loves me too... I'm not saying this is optimal, or healthy, or even right all the time, I have no control when it comes to her. We have discussed how it is pointless to move forward because we will always be loving on each other. We're practically the only two people we can be faithful too and it's the reason I won't move on. Plus, I don't want to. If we are not together, we will be friends. I love those kids too... I plan to be there for them regardless.
Guess who drew this...?
We drive across the country to see each other and go on vacation even when we are single...
See, that's where I am... Side note: Our Nodes are doing CRAZY things. My progressed node is EXACT to the degree of my progressed Ascendant.
I will do everything I can to make it work and if I fail, I do not want to be with anyone else for a very long time. I would miss her terribly.
With that being said, Pluto can be sweet. I told her today, about the place I proposed right before things got rough:
"No matter how many times I went back to the place where you said yes, I never woke up from this awful dream of our breakup the next day." I dreampt of her kissing the sweat off my forehead and smiling at me saying that she is there...
I would love to continue to be her short-term partner because she will always come back, she loves me too... I'm not saying this is optimal, or healthy, or even right all the time, I have no control when it comes to her. We have discussed how it is pointless to move forward because we will always be loving on each other. We're practically the only two people we can be faithful too and it's the reason I won't move on. Plus, I don't want to. If we are not together, we will be friends. I love those kids too... I plan to be there for them regardless.
Guess who drew this...?
We drive across the country to see each other and go on vacation even when we are single...
See, that's where I am... Side note: Our Nodes are doing CRAZY things. My progressed node is EXACT to the degree of my progressed Ascendant.
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Ok, good. I hear ya. As long as you do not take it personally, if she expresses disinterest/discomfort/dissatisfaction in the future. That is what worries me. Cap/Scorpio's can take things very personally and it is sometimes hard for us to be objective.
Dubyadude1986
Well-known member
Thats so true Katy. Her daughter is extremely Taurean. I'm close with both our son and our daughter, but her daughter has kind of picked me as her father and it makes my partner googly eyed. I swear it is sincere and not manipulation. I just love them and got lucky.
Their father couldn't be less interested in them. He sends payment, but there is no relationhip with them unfortunately.
I'm not used, to things like that, I require a lot of control in my 10th H, however, I relinquish almost all of it when I come home.
The chart(s) will reflect that which I just described; probably Saturn in 2nd, 5th or Aqua somewhere in either our composite or synastry (the situation with the children). There is a stability that allows us to compromise. She likes to dance with men some times, but she comes home to me.
I'm not THAT jealous and I know how to not tie her down so to speak.
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Dubyadude1986
Well-known member
This is also one of the first people I've ever met where I am almost CERTAIN there is past-life activity and energy. I almost feel like we switched this time... Or maybe I was older last time. Something.
Her progressions are bringing her out of that Libra Asc and into Scorpio also... It was already progressed Scorp when I met her... Positive.
Our progressions seem to favour the downfalls with the other charts.
Her progressions are bringing her out of that Libra Asc and into Scorpio also... It was already progressed Scorp when I met her... Positive.
Our progressions seem to favour the downfalls with the other charts.
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Dubyadude1986
Well-known member
Did I mention how thankful I am for these replies rahu, katy, sibyline, kitchy, and others? Thank you. ;-)
I love how you are willing to tell me the truth, even if it's tough odds. It is what it is, but a little heart goes a long way. Love can do the rest.
I love how you are willing to tell me the truth, even if it's tough odds. It is what it is, but a little heart goes a long way. Love can do the rest.
Dubyadude1986
Well-known member
She has. She is now leaving early from this vacation. Detached and indifferent. She doesn't care. She came here for a vacation. I think I am done now with relationships on this level. That's it.
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Please do not judge ALL potential future relationships by your experiences with this big Green Star. You have been trying to please and satisfy someone who is incapable of being satisfied and comfortable in her own skin. It is not your fault so please do not let it taint your future loves. You are still very young. Be happy that you experienced a deep passionate love.
Grieve, mourn and then move forward...heres something from my personal experience:
my current boyfriend has strong libra and cancer engery. And I am very scorpio , scorpio ascendant conjunct pluto etc. Our current situation is shockingly similar to yours lol
He said he loves me so many times, he texted me begging me to talk to him again. He wrote love letter in pencil, A4 paper front and back.
I am not usually drawn to this type of guy , the reason we're together is probably because I broke up with my ex and I wanted to have something to prove myself.
Scorpio rising woman doesn't enjoy man who is too clingy or trying so hard to please me. I expect you to be a very independent self, who is able to be in charge of your own emotion. You can express your love to me but you can not be head-to-toe controlled by this emotion.
You need to be able to stand up to me for good reasons. Don't be scared of doing this because conflicts is good for relationships. (libra people tend to avoid conflict which I think is annoying)
So my advice to you is that , don't be so attached to her. If you are then don't show it too much. (don't overdo this either) Stop avoiding conflicts and stop trying to please her too much. Because it can be boring to her.
I'm just using myself as reference to this question. I guess these are the things that ive been dying to say to my bf lol
my current boyfriend has strong libra and cancer engery. And I am very scorpio , scorpio ascendant conjunct pluto etc. Our current situation is shockingly similar to yours lol
He said he loves me so many times, he texted me begging me to talk to him again. He wrote love letter in pencil, A4 paper front and back.
I am not usually drawn to this type of guy , the reason we're together is probably because I broke up with my ex and I wanted to have something to prove myself.
Scorpio rising woman doesn't enjoy man who is too clingy or trying so hard to please me. I expect you to be a very independent self, who is able to be in charge of your own emotion. You can express your love to me but you can not be head-to-toe controlled by this emotion.
You need to be able to stand up to me for good reasons. Don't be scared of doing this because conflicts is good for relationships. (libra people tend to avoid conflict which I think is annoying)
So my advice to you is that , don't be so attached to her. If you are then don't show it too much. (don't overdo this either) Stop avoiding conflicts and stop trying to please her too much. Because it can be boring to her.
I'm just using myself as reference to this question. I guess these are the things that ive been dying to say to my bf lol
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Dubyadude1986
Well-known member
I have to find happiness within myself. I don't know if I ever learned to do that. Like that article talked about with the men that feel that their happiness was based on making someone else happy, I don't know how to do that.
This is difficult, reality is tough sometimes. Thanks for all the help. Someone is ocming according to the chart, it isn't her though.
My father was never around and he wasn't a good husband either to my mother. Being those things is very important to me. I spent a long time working on the same thing and now I feel like, sad relief. I will really miss those kids.
This is difficult, reality is tough sometimes. Thanks for all the help. Someone is ocming according to the chart, it isn't her though.
My father was never around and he wasn't a good husband either to my mother. Being those things is very important to me. I spent a long time working on the same thing and now I feel like, sad relief. I will really miss those kids.
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Dubyadude1986
Well-known member
My advice would be to be careful with these "perfect people" / "perfect charts."
sibylline
Well-known member
Who has a perfect chart?... Surely not this woman.
To be honest, I'm happy about this news because I felt that it was only a matter of time before she got tired of the relationship and left. And better sooner than later, when you've invested far too much. You deserve someone that can be committed to you.
And please, please don't go back to her when she "pops" back up again. Unless you're a masochist.
StillOne
Well-known member
I love the way her natal chart looks with that big Green Star right in the middle of the chart. It makes for an exciting, charismatic , multi-faceted personality. She is really something and I am happy that you have had some great years with her.
However, sadly, I have to express some concern for the future. The problem with that big green square is that it is built upon in-conjuncts. It is built upon quincunxes which is all about 'disharmony' and about feeling discomfort and wanting to understand why one is never fully satisfied. When someone has that many in-conjunctions it is nearly impossible to fulfill their needs or to make them feel satisfied or comfortable. Something ALWAYS feels wrong and they are in a constant process of trying to 'fix' things.
It is like the Princess and the Pea, eternally looking for why one cannot sleep happily and what is the source of the discomfort. I do not want YOU to be or to feel like the source of her constant discomfort.
As an owner of a "Big Green Star", I appreciate your stripped down explanation of it... It certainly rings true. This many inconjuncts make for quite a bit of nuisance.
Dubya, I think you nailed it when you mentioned that you needed to figure out how to be happy on your own. This person came into your life as a reflection, as she needs to learn how to be happy on her own as well. We all do. When we are happy by ourselves we can make happy unions with others. True happiness can never be found outside of ourselves.
http://www.angelic-guides.com/2014/...de-of-you-it-can-only-be-created-from-within/
http://www.becomingminimalist.com/be-happy/
https://smile.amazon.com/Happiness-...UTF8&qid=1467254390&sr=1-1&keywords=happiness
Dubyadude1986
Well-known member
Thank you. This pain is harsh and it has been happening for too long. I've never felt so broken. The children make it so hard.
Dubyadude1986
Well-known member
Who has a perfect chart?... Surely not this woman.
To be honest, I'm happy about this news because I felt that it was only a matter of time before she got tired of the relationship and left. And better sooner than later, when you've invested far too much. You deserve someone that can be committed to you.
And please, please don't go back to her when she "pops" back up again. Unless you're a masochist.
When she pops back up. So she will come back again likely?
I know Jupiter is about to pass my 7th... Maybe someone else shows up?
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sibylline
Well-known member
Hopefully Jupiter brings someone beneficial...
No, I meant with her Cap Moon in the 4th house there can be a strong attachment to things from the past, things which brought emotional security. The square to ruler Saturn in 7th directly ties that into serious partnerships. Earlier you mentioned that she may see you as a security blanket and from her chart that seems likely. Not to mention that with her Gemini stellium in 9th, changing her mind would just be normal.