What does he want?

avrillavigne

Well-known member
This was a really close friend of mine that I had a relationship with and was very much in love with him. He ended things when quarantine started without giving an explanation, but he would still text me as if nothing happened. I stopped answering him around a month and a half ago so he stopped messaging at one point. This is someone that I will definitely see after the quarantine is over as we are in the same social circle and work in the same field.
Last night he started texting me again. I want to know what he wants from me. I am still very hurt and would like to get closure or maybe an explanation.
I do realize that it is Venus retrograde and exes might come back.
I casted a horary chart this morning. Cancer Rising so I am Moon in Taurus (strong) in his 5th house (he only wants to flirt???). He is Saturn retrograde (he is coming back) in Aquarius (domicile) in the 7th house (interested in himself).
There is an applying square that is about to perfect. Does this mean that we are going to fight/ separate once and for all? I have been told that squares mean a big fat no most of the time but I've seen it play as a yes but first some obstacles must be overcome. He is about to change signs (changing his mind?) and is separating from his conjunction with Jupiter and there is an applying trine with the sun (not sure how to interpret that). I am also looking at Venus as this is a love horary. Venus is retrograding (coming back, having second thoughts) but it is in the 12th house and in Gemini. Does that mean that there is some kind of a hidden affair or another person into play?
I want to play my cards right and not be overly dramatic about it. My social standing would probably get hurt if we end on bad terms.
 

Attachments

  • Screenshot 2020-05-20 at 11.30.48.jpg
    Screenshot 2020-05-20 at 11.30.48.jpg
    49.4 KB · Views: 86

ameliaastrology

Well-known member
It's an exact square applying. Also, Saturn does receive Moon in Taurus somewhat by term and face. This square should work. I've seen charts in which squares seemed to bring arguments, which could be difficult if you're trying to rekindle romances. I think you're right.

You're in your 11th. It doesn't mean he only wants to flirt, in my opinion. It means you value the friendship component of this relationship.

Saturn is still close to Jupiter; they're both turning retrograde, but you're much closer. I won't worry too much about that one. It's the cloest aspects that are most pertinent to the matter at hand.

Sun/Venus has a very wide conjunction applying but Mercury prohibits this. It concerns only secondary significators but still deserves attention. Mercury rules 12th and 4th, secrets and end of matter. Could symbolise your hurt feelings and suspicions as obstacles to a reunion.

Amelia
 

ameliaastrology

Well-known member
Also, both significators are strong. Another sign that they have the power to come together and work through the square. L7 is a bit close to the House 8 of Loss to my liking but technically, he's still in House 7. Just might come off as a bit self-centred.

Amelia
 

avrillavigne

Well-known member
It's an exact square applying. Also, Saturn does receive Moon in Taurus somewhat by term and face. This square should work. I've seen charts in which squares seemed to bring arguments, which could be difficult if you're trying to rekindle romances. I think you're right.

You're in your 11th. It doesn't mean he only wants to flirt, in my opinion. It means you value the friendship component of this relationship.

Saturn is still close to Jupiter; they're both turning retrograde, but you're much closer. I won't worry too much about that one. It's the cloest aspects that are most pertinent to the matter at hand.

Sun/Venus has a very wide conjunction applying but Mercury prohibits this. It concerns only secondary significators but still deserves attention. Mercury rules 12th and 4th, secrets and end of matter. Could symbolise your hurt feelings and suspicions as obstacles to a reunion.

Amelia

Yes, our friendship meant a lot to me. I was really hurt as when he left me he said something in terms of "not knowing each other well enough" when in fact we've been close for years.

For educational purposes, why are we looking at the sun venus conjunction in this chart? What could it signify?

Also, I don't normally look at outer planets but I am also seeing that the Moon (me) is coming together with Uranus. Does this mean a sudden change in circumstances?
 
Last edited:

ameliaastrology

Well-known member
William Lilly values the Sun-Venus connection in romance (marriage, in fact, in his time) charts.

John Frawley constantly uses Sun and Venus as secondary significators for the man and the woman in love charts, respectively. Sun is man, Venus is the woman. He says that they signify the person as a man/woman. Primal desires so to speak. So for example, he thinks that (in a chart where the Querent is female), Sun-L1 connection is meaningful.

Deb Houlding uses them too, but only looks at Sun-Venus aspects. That means she doesn't think that Sun-L1 or Venus-L7 connections would be very meaningful.

In your case, it's a Sun-Venus. So all three would agree it's meaningful. Though Deb Houlding would probably say the orb is too wide to count.

I don't use Sun and Venus just as sexual planets. They are co-sigificators to me, secondary but still, they do have a say.

Amelia
 
Last edited:

ameliaastrology

Well-known member
Also, I don't normally look at outer planets but I am also seeing that the Moon (me) is coming together with Uranus. Does this mean a sudden change in circumstances?

I don't look at outers unless it's conjunct a house cusp and a significator and do so within 5 degrees. In your case, it's 6. Other users would be more qualified to answer your question.


Amelia
 

Ouranos

Well-known member
Hello Avril,
I agree with everything you digged with Amelia.
Let me just add a few comments on the perfecting square about to manifest.(Venus square Mars June 3rd)
Moon and SaturnR are slow in motion.
Mars can be used as the Almuten of the 7th and Venus ruling the Moon (co-ruler of you)
Venus and Mars in Mutual reception by Bounds and Face. The way it works is that your relationship has 'boundaries', as long as you don't move. You are invited as a guest, in a room, and you will be comfortable as long as you stay in that room. If you try to grow your relationship, it will not work. We all know these relationships in our life, where as long as you stay in a specific pattern, it works. But if you try to fulfill other needs showing up along the way, you destroy the purpose of that relationship.
Mercury (Antiscia ASC) will join Venus May 22nd, which could indicate you may have an important message for him. Just make sure you are clear in your intentions (Mercury in XII)

Blessings,
Ouranos
 

avrillavigne

Well-known member
Hello Avril,
I agree with everything you digged with Amelia.
Let me just add a few comments on the perfecting square about to manifest.(Venus square Mars June 3rd)
Moon and SaturnR are slow in motion.
Mars can be used as the Almuten of the 7th and Venus ruling the Moon (co-ruler of you)
Venus and Mars in Mutual reception by Bounds and Face. The way it works is that your relationship has 'boundaries', as long as you don't move. You are invited as a guest, in a room, and you will be comfortable as long as you stay in that room. If you try to grow your relationship, it will not work. We all know these relationships in our life, where as long as you stay in a specific pattern, it works. But if you try to fulfill other needs showing up along the way, you destroy the purpose of that relationship.
Mercury (Antiscia ASC) will join Venus May 22nd, which could indicate you may have an important message for him. Just make sure you are clear in your intentions (Mercury in XII)

Blessings,
Ouranos

Thank you for the reading Ouranos.
What is it in this chart that indicates boundaries? And why is this impossible to grow?
It is true that there is something that I do want to tell him (explain to him how I feel) and I will try to be clear.
But at the end of the day, the thing that I don't understand is what he wants from our relationship? He pursued me for more than a year and got scared 3 months into the relationship. I don't think that I can be friends with him and was clear about it when he ended things. Despite that, he would still text me and act as if nothing happened. I thought that he had given up but now it's starting all over again.
 

Ouranos

Well-known member
The boundaries are indicated by the Mutual Reception by Bound and Face of Venus and Mars. Bounds and Faces are parts of a Sign(the Whole House), not the whole thing.
Also, the fact that they will join by square (stumbling blocks, crisis in growth, difficulties) both Cadent.
"The word 'cadent' means 'fallen' and is the root of the word cadaver meaning corpse. A planet in a cadent house has been carried by the diurnal movement away from the cardinal position, symbolising something that has moved from a position of power into a condition of weakness, or a fall from grace."
https://www.skyscript.co.uk/horary1d.html

Engagement is largely about bringing your whole self into the relationship.
Don't be shy to ask him "Why do you think it’s difficult for us to have an honest conversation? What’s going on? And what are your feelings about me?"
If he can't answer this, it might not be worth to pursue the relationship.
When you meet Mr or Mrs Right, you know immediately at the bottom of your heart. Love does not make the world go round, Love is what makes the ride worthwhile.

Good luck and please keep us updated on the outcome.
Ouranos
 

ameliaastrology

Well-known member
Thanks, Ouranos, for weighing in.

Avril: Generally, this is a guy quite into himself at the moment. It doesn't mean he doesn't care about you (he does, as already shown by the close square with reception). The picture is that he likes what he has in this relationship, perhaps in some way it benefits his ego, and he wants to have the upper hand with you.

This is described by the 7th Lord and the planets inside the 7th.

Saturn is sitting in house 7 his own house. Approaching this relationship from his own perspective. A bit self-centred.

Jupiter - in fall ruling his house of secrets (his 12). He is not very willing to communicate candidly.

Pluto - endings. Power struggles.

Amelia
 

avrillavigne

Well-known member
Update
I never responded to him.
He texted me a couple of times but he was just pretending that nothing happened. Considering how we ended things it didn't make sense to me and found it really immature.
Don't know if he is going to try again.
 

Ouranos

Well-known member
Appreciate the update Avrillavigne!
Beginning of June, the square Sun-Venus to Mars should bring some action.

Take care,
Ouranos
 

tikana

Well-known member
alright

soooo

I agree with you of not responding
Yes your moon is applying to saturn and you are confortable being in Taurus plus elevated
BUT
Moon does conj Uranus (whatever he did either shocked you or hurt you emotionally).. You do not need to ask "why did you do this or that" because he wont respond to you...
He lives in his own world Saturn hanging in 7th house (not coming out to play with you) very unresponsive to you. Plus sliding back into Cap where he wont like the fact that you are not under his thumb.
since you are elevated, let it go. You are much better without this drama.

take a look at pluto hanging in his 1st near desc - your moon cannot stand it -- too heavy for your taste
 
Last edited:

ameliaastrology

Well-known member
Thank you for the update, avril. It's much appreciated.

It will take time, if he ever reached out again.

This is a square, so delays and hiccups are inevitable. He's a cool, fond-of-delays Saturn turning retrograde (weak, could be out of character).

Moon and Saturn is never an easy pair emotionally. He may not be a bad Saturn overall. I really won't say being in his own house means he'll never make an effort to reach out to you; in my experience that is not so. But he will almost certainly remain very protective of himself, a bit self-centred as said.

Up to you if this is worth the pain and strenuous effort. I do hope he comes to his senses eventually.

All the best

Amelia
 

sashafasha44

Well-known member
Thank you for the reading Ouranos.
What is it in this chart that indicates boundaries? And why is this impossible to grow?
It is true that there is something that I do want to tell him (explain to him how I feel) and I will try to be clear.
But at the end of the day, the thing that I don't understand is what he wants from our relationship? He pursued me for more than a year and got scared 3 months into the relationship. I don't think that I can be friends with him and was clear about it when he ended things. Despite that, he would still text me and act as if nothing happened. I thought that he had given up but now it's starting all over again.

I don't think I can contribute too much but I always tend to look at the chiron, sometimes that will give me a hint as to what is going on. I know it's been a few days since this was updated, just wanted to know if you spoke to him since? I'm sorry this happened to you, I have dealt with this type of rejection all my life. Unfortunately for me it is often because there was another woman already in the picture, or my intensity scares them off. Keep me posted!
 
Top