Beauty

Lol Chrysalis, I asked tarot - how can I get husband to accept things as they are. I got 10 of cups and ace of cups. Ummm, do you think that means to stay positive and happy?
Edit: I pulled some more cards on this question and got the empress, 3 of cups, 9 of cups, high priestess.

Chrysalis said:

Tarot does that though, they will portray back to you whats going on through the tarot lense.

But its good you ended on the queen of wands, as they are telling you that you will/and can be strong enough to get better, to then be able to do what you need to do.

The first 3 cards were just telling you your current situation.

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This is true. And I love the queen of wands. She's so strong and healthy and independent and fun.

Abby83 said:

Lol Chrysalis, I asked tarot - how can I get husband to accept things as they are. I got 10 of cups and ace of cups. Ummm, do you think that means to stay positive and happy?

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Hmm not necessarily.

The 10 cups is you and your husbands commitment to each other, its your family, its a Yes to emotional stability and security, this is what you've already got. Its a Yes to wanting only the best and never giving up. But its a No to unrealistic expectations.

The ace cups with the ten cups are two passive cards....which equals no change.

They're both water cards which equals emotions, emotions come in many forms including love, happiness, spirituality, intuition, depression, repression, sadness, grief.

As this is not a new relationship, keeping in relation to your question, these two cards to me show contentment with the marriage, but with no new energy or movement for things to change, which could cause (any of the above) emotional spillage from the ace of cups.

He plays the victim?
Tell him to get a better job if he can't do what he wants to do on his salary. Or change his goals to fit his possibilities.
He shouldn't be putting his (imagined or real) shortcomings off on you. It would do wonders for his self esteem. NN is in your 8th house, so his earning potential is good.
The south node in your 2nd of self value gets you down, you have to resist and flip the energy to the north node.

Chrysalis said:

Hmm not necessarily.

The 10 cups is you and your husbands commitment to each other, its your family, its a Yes to emotional stability and security, this is what you've already got. Its a Yes to wanting only the best and never giving up. But its a No to unrealistic expectations.

The ace cups with the ten cups are two passive cards....which equals no change.

They're both water cards which equals emotions, emotions come in many forms including love, happiness, spirituality, intuition, depression, repression, sadness, grief.

As this is not a new relationship, keeping in relation to your question, these two cards to me show contentment with the marriage, but with no new energy or movement for things to change, which could cause (any of the above) emotional spillage from the ace of cups.

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Ok so being happy/satisfied with what we already have? I am. He's not.

ElenaJ said:

He plays the victim?
Tell him to get a better job if he can't do what he wants to do on his salary. Or change his goals to fit his possibilities.
He shouldn't be putting his (imagined or real) shortcomings off on you. It would do wonders for his self esteem. NN is in your 8th house, so his earning potential is good.
The south node in your 2nd of self value gets you down, you have to resist and flip the energy to the north node.

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Yes. Before marriage we said this is the life we wanted. But as soon as we had kids he became a sooky baby. We live in a 3 bedroom house with a front yard and a backyard big enough for kids to play and we have 3 kids. He has another 3 bedroom property he gets rent from. This is good enough for me.

Sounds good enough for anyone!

ElenaJ said:

Sounds good enough for anyone!

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Lol thank you so much 😍 for agreeing with me. My thoughts exactly.

You made me laugh with your comment about Leo on the other thread. Relax, Leo is not easy to offend!
Aside from my Leo ascendent, by sheer coincidence my sun is exactly conjunct your ascendent, which might account a lot for why I took your situation to heart!
See, you can't cherry pick planets or aspects, or just sun signs!

ElenaJ said:

You made me laugh with your comment about Leo on the other thread. Relax, Leo is not easy to offend!
Aside from my Leo ascendent, by sheer coincidence my sun is exactly conjunct your ascendent, which might account a lot for why I took your situation to heart!
See, you can't cherry pick planets or aspects, or just sun signs!

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Lol yeah whilst I was writing the comment part of me felt sorry in advance for offending anyone but then again I just had to be honest.

And I'm not brown nosing by saying this but when I read your comments on the forum, energetically speaking I found you rather sexy 😊. Go figure, your sun on my asc. Omg, and I just realised progressed sun is there too. Holy s**t.

Well this morning we supposed to go to my husband's Greek Easter. Even though I'm still sick I said I'd go. He ended up just complaining about my image and how I look like a grandma and how he wants me to look young. Gee, I'm really copping it. But U know what? When I was skinny and young I copped it too. So can't win here. Sick of ppl complaining about my image. I was planning to start exercising this week but surprise surprise my husband needs me. I just feel like I'm losing all the time. I just Wana look after myself without him hammering me all the time.

He needs you? YOU need you. Can you tell him you'll try to work it out, but you have commitments?
He wants you slim and lovely but denies you the time you need for improving your looks?
Should we be working on his chart instead of yours???

ElenaJ said:

He needs you? YOU need you. Can you tell him you'll try to work it out, but you have commitments?
He wants you slim and lovely but denies you the time you need for improving your looks?
Should we be working on his chart instead of yours???

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Omg so well put. I do need ME don't I. Far out.

Abby83 said:

So guys, I turned to tarot asking why I'm so ugly these days. The answer I got was cos of motherhood. Since my pregnancies and the stress of the kids and sacrificing my own time I've become ugly as ugly gets. That's why I'm asking the question. I'm curious what to look for in my chart to bring back my beauty. My Venus is in virgo in 11th house. Part of beauty is in libra. Neptune in sag 2nd house. Neptune senisextiles the ascendant. I'm feeling so much pressure to do so much work I can't do it all. I want to work on myself but get criticised for it cos it takes time away from making money.

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Abby83, will you please just stop this self-destructive thinking??

There is no external objective standard for beauty.

We're all getting older every day, and with ageing come normal, natural changes.

If you do what is reasonable to eat right, get some exercise (no matter how trivial, like just power-walking around the block,) and wear decently attractive colours for your skin type, you will look great.

Maybe ask your husband what sort of clothes and hair style he thinks would be flattering. Then ask him to mind the children while you have a mini-spa treatment and do some on-line shopping.

Beauty comes from within. Always. What seems to be ailing you is your self-confidence. What hard transits are hitting you just now? Forget about Venus. Coming out of Pluto and Saturn square sun?

Oh, and it's not up to you, with 3 children at home, to buy the status symbols. You're not Wonder Woman. Hubby wants you to work harder to buy the status symbols he craves? How about the status symbol of a wife who isn't driving herself into the ground because he keeps criticizing her? Tell him your health is a mess, never mind your appearance, due to sheer and utter exhaustion, adrenal and otherwise; and if he wants the status symbol of a more glamorous-looking wife, he's going to have to give you enough time to recoup your strength. Better yet, he could earn more money so that you don't have to work so hard.

Abby, I don't mean to come across like I am dumping on you. Quite the contrary. By all means, share my posts with your husband.

I say it's time to talk about (a) love, (b) common sense, and (c) your getting back your Libra equilibrium.

waybread said:

Oh, and it's not up to you, with 3 children at home, to buy the status symbols. You're not Wonder Woman. Hubby wants you to work harder to buy the status symbols he craves? How about the status symbol of a wife who isn't driving herself into the ground because he keeps criticizing her? Tell him your health is a mess, never mind your appearance, due to sheer and utter exhaustion, adrenal and otherwise; and if he wants the status symbol of a more glamorous-looking wife, he's going to have to give you enough time to recoup your strength. Better yet, he could earn more money so that you don't have to work so hard.

Abby, I don't mean to come across like I am dumping on you. Quite the contrary. By all means, share my posts with your husband.

I say it's time to talk about (a) love, (b) common sense, and (c) your getting back your Libra equilibrium.

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Awww, thank you thank you thank you thank you for your beautiful comments. You have no idea how much it has touched my heart.

Did you know that an hr before reading this I was thinking about your comment for me in the Leo thread and how thankful I am you're helping me.

What you say is true. I'll have to keep talking to my husband so we can settle on something and have him accept our wonderful life that he sees so gloomy.

waybread said:

Abby83, will you please just stop this self-destructive thinking??

There is no external objective standard for beauty.

We're all getting older every day, and with ageing come normal, natural changes.

If you do what is reasonable to eat right, get some exercise (no matter how trivial, like just power-walking around the block,) and wear decently attractive colours for your skin type, you will look great.

Maybe ask your husband what sort of clothes and hair style he thinks would be flattering. Then ask him to mind the children while you have a mini-spa treatment and do some on-line shopping.

Beauty comes from within. Always. What seems to be ailing you is your self-confidence. What hard transits are hitting you just now? Forget about Venus. Coming out of Pluto and Saturn square sun?

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Yeah I believe beauty comes from within too. When I look in the mirror, all I see is a Trainwreck. Why? Cos I've been run over by a train everyday since we had kids and extreme stress with his family. So yeah, my image portrays a woman who's body can't survive anymore. It's beyond exhausted. Many times I feel like I'm gonna have a heart attack. Transits have not been good to me for many years. I really need to be lifted back into life with rest and vitality. I've made a list of my needs and I'm praying to God it will come true.

Abby, thanks.

Sorry if I'm coming across as preachy, but thanks to our interactions over the years, I truly believe that you have a good heart. And there you are, trying to meet everyone else's expectations of the super-perfect wife, mother, professional woman, beauty, and who knows what else? How about living the good-enough life? The OK life?

My advice would be that if it hurts your pride to look in the mirror, then stop looking in the mirror. OK, OK-- I know this won't happen and even the least attractive among us still need to comb our hair in front of the mirror once in a while.

But your interactions with Mirror, Mirror on the Wall could be positive, rather than an opportunity to beat yourself up over your appearance. Your interactions can be empowering vs. disempowering, simply because you choose to change your narrative.

I dunno. Maybe try greeting yourself in the morning by saying, "Hello, gorgeous!" OK, if that brings out a laugh, even if in disbelief, so much the better. Or wear your favourite colour and tell that face in the mirror how flattering it is to you.

No doubt you've got a better health regimen than I could recommend, but I hope you're drinking those 6-8 glasses of water per day, focusing on fresh fruits and vegetables, getting enough sleep, and so on.

Abby, as I look at your chart, what pops out for me is that big optimistic first house Jupiter, domiciled in Sagittarius. It conjuncts your moon. If I use key words, I would translate a first house moon as how we feel (moon) about how we come across to other people (first house.)

Maybe the issue isn't so much Venus or the part of beauty, but a big drought in your ability to have a sense of optimistic faith (Sagittarian Jupiter) in yourself (first house.)

Abby I wouldn't mention the following to a person if s/he hadn't mentioned prayer already. So I apologize if the following comments are amiss. I also note that Jupiter also traditionally rules religious faith.

I would never suggest not praying for what you want-- this is between you and God. (Cf. the book of James in the Bible.) But sometimes petitionary prayer has the effect of situating solutions outside of ourselves. Another kind of prayer is in Luke 22:42: "Not my will, but Thine be done." Maybe it's time just to let go of so much effort and struggle to be perfect. You already are perfect enough. Maybe relinquishing your emotional burdens can create some space for a state of grace.

Maybe think about nourishing your faithful and optimistic Sagittarius nature. You don't need a model's face or figure to do that. You're a child of God already, and I believe that He loves you as you are.

With all good wishes for your journey, W.

Abby83 said:

Yeah man, what you allow will continue, and it is continuing, right in front of you. People don't change.

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People don’t change. Especially if you don’t give them a reason to.

I’m horrified hearing you have a conversation with your husband about criticising you infront is the kids and his response is it will help you change.

And his solution is to remind you to exercise, when clearly you are saying on this forum that you are the way you are because you are being run into the ground.

Your husband isn’t taking responsibility for his part and you’re dying for him to do that.

What Waybread said about him earning more money so you can afford the time to be more glamorous is spot on, put the responsibility back in his corner. It’s like his work is stressful or he is not being valued or noticed at work and he’s blaming it on you.

I’m not suggesting you divorce him,but if you did, wouldn’t you have half the money earnt while you two were married? Then he would have the children at the wknd and you can go to a spa or beauty treatment place. Problem solved.

You are a Libra Sun, right? Or Libran at least, well Pluto and Saturn are going to be squaring them one after the other soon enough, depending on degrees - embrace the change it brings.