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  #1  
Unread 07-11-2020, 11:01 AM
Aijabu Aijabu is offline
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Marriage / family

Hello everyone,

So I'm giving a try and posting my chart after having posted some questions in horary section.
I have already talked to some astrologers and I'm aware that my chart is not promising a lot in regard with marriage.
Last year I have a had my 2nd divorce, both times divorce came out a a blue (8th house influence)...
Because of my divorces I have changed a lot, trying to be a more spritual person, expecting nothing but trying to give the best of me for the other person. But I'm still healing my heart after what has happened.
So I would like to hear your opinion on a possibility to have a continious married life / family / children... (3rd marriage? )
When it would be the right moment for me to commit with someone so that I could give my best try for it ? Is there any chance to keep a relationship working for me?
Thank you very much and I wish to all of you joy and happiness.

My DOB is 20 June 1987 at 13:15 PM in Tukums, Latvia.


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  #2  
Unread 07-11-2020, 01:02 PM
ElenaJ ElenaJ is offline
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Re: Marriage / family

Moon conjunct Jupiter, co-ruler of the 7th, and trine Uranus, would indicate a partner who has strong traits of pisces, sagittarius, Aquarius. In Aries, you need a lot of individual space in a marriage.
The other co-ruler is Neptune, again an indication of pisces or neptunian partners. This is square the nodes, so you tend to have a lot of illusions in your relationships, you might tend to see it through rose coloured glasses and not see the reality. The nodes are in Aries, where you should be heading towards, and south node in libra, the sign of marriage, partnership, and leaning towards the other. The south node is your comfort zone, what you carry over from your past life, and where you retreat when threatened or feeling insecure.
So by becoming libra-like, you feel safer, but you at the same time negate the Aries requirement that your marriage needs.
Sun, the male figure in your life, opposes Uranus, so there is a risk of unbalancing the need for individual expression and freedom. Moon/jupiter approach a favorable aspect with sun, and with Uranus, so over time you can achieve this balance.
Mars/mercury says you have a quick mind, in cancer you are traditionally minded, easily hurt in your feelings upon which you withdraw. You might be a little sharp tongued, the energy in your mind is sometimes overloaded and it just shoots out without a filter. Over time this can wear out your partner.
Charts with double signs on the descendent tend to have more than one relationship, and in your case pisces is not only a double sign, it also has two significators. In addition, sun is in the double sign of gemini. So, you can expect multiple relationships, whether legal marriages or other types of relationships..
Moon is your emotional base, your emotional needs, and conjunct the 7th house ruler, who is also 4th house ruler, you have to build a solid foundation with your partner and your family life, to have the emotional security and fulfilment you need.
By selecting a partner who somehow fulfils the chart requirements (pisces/neptune/sagittarius/aries) you can create a long lasting relationship that will be emotionally satisfying for you.
The energy in the chart must be realised in some way, it is up to you to find a positive rather than a negative channel for it to express itself.

Last edited by ElenaJ; 07-11-2020 at 01:04 PM.
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  #3  
Unread 07-11-2020, 01:47 PM
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aquarius7000 aquarius7000 is offline
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Re: Marriage / family

Hi

Could I ask a sort of personal Q, but feel free to ignore it?

How has the financial settlement been due to the divorces.
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  #4  
Unread 07-11-2020, 01:53 PM
Aijabu Aijabu is offline
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Re: Marriage / family

My 1st husband left leaving me in very difficult situation. It took me a long time to stabilise my financial situation. And the 2nd one left me with a house but I have a loan to pay, so not really good as a situation.
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  #5  
Unread 07-11-2020, 02:36 PM
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aquarius7000 aquarius7000 is offline
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Re: Marriage / family

Thanks for responding and I will not put your content in quotes, so you can remove it any time as it is quite personal.

North Node in the 8th house (which means South Node in the 2nd house). One of the issues here is that you are to learn to share the sources with your partner (or ex). So, what they leave you are still shared due to loans - they don't entirely belong to you unless you have worked for them = borne the burden at least in part. It shows that in a previous life you could have been quite focused on your assets and measured your own worth through that and now you are to learn to share the resources and free yourself bit by bit from them (8th house is joint resources).
NN in the 8th also shows complexity of relationships and getting to the bottom of things - why things don't work out. Look for patterns - starting from why you got married, what patterns repeated themselves in both marriages, what kind of dependencies you showed on your partner and vice versa, as well as why things ended. Then also look at what patterns you can change.

In your case, there seem to be some power issues due to joint resources/ money matters. Looks also at where the ruler of the 7th is placed and that Moon close by. Emotional security. Can you relate to that?
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  #6  
Unread 07-11-2020, 03:24 PM
Aijabu Aijabu is offline
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Re: Marriage / family

Thank you Aquarius and Elena for giving your time and answering and helping me understnd.
Aquarius, I can tell that both of my relationships had a very similar ending scenario, it enden very suddenly, both times another girl was a reason (on surface) why relationship collapsed.
Yes, since my childhood I have had issues with emotional security, my parents were not really present in my childhood so I have have developed an emotional dependency. And the 2nd issue is to accept my feminine side, it seems that my moon is a bit damaged being together with north node in 8th house... So I have some issues to accept myself as a woman, letting my husband take his role of a family head... I have worked with both of these issues but it was not enough to make my marriage survive.
Since my husband left I do not ask him anything from a financial point of view, I promised myself that I will do anything to not put him in a financial danger. So I'm paying the house and everything related to. Sometimes he helps a litte bit but I'm not asking for it. I'm aware that there was a time in my life when I was a bit too warried about money, it was related to emotional security. So now I try to give as much as I can for charity.
Another issue in this situation is that I choose men who are not very mature. On outside yes, but not deep inside. When in love I live in some kind of illusion, everything seems perfect about my loved one...
So... there are some issues to work with... I applied for a self developement programm for next one year or so, hope it will help me to change for better.
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Unread 07-11-2020, 03:48 PM
ElenaJ ElenaJ is offline
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Re: Marriage / family

Aijabu,
be careful with this...
"Since my husband left I do not ask him anything from a financial point of view, I promised myself that I will do anything to not put him in a financial danger. So I'm paying the house and everything related to. "

As Aquarius7000 explained, the south node is your past, it is what is easy and known for you. By simply giving in about the money, you are retreating to your past, and not facing up to the lessons you must learn from north node.... which is about your partner's finances, shared moneys.
Keep this in mind, as what may seem like you are making a peaceful solution, is in reality avoidance of the real issue to be learned.
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Unread 07-11-2020, 04:00 PM
Aijabu Aijabu is offline
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Re: Marriage / family

Quote:
Originally Posted by ElenaJ View Post
Aijabu,
be careful with this...
"Since my husband left I do not ask him anything from a financial point of view, I promised myself that I will do anything to not put him in a financial danger. So I'm paying the house and everything related to. "

As Aquarius7000 explained, the south node is your past, it is what is easy and known for you. By simply giving in about the money, you are retreating to your past, and not facing up to the lessons you must learn from north node.... which is about your partner's finances, shared moneys.
Keep this in mind, as what may seem like you are making a peaceful solution, is in reality avoidance of the real issue to be learned.
Ok, I will think more closely about this. I don't really know what to do, my husband asked not to sell the house, besides, he left me a dog who needs some space outisde... I'm not planning to stay here forever but at the moment I don't know where to go or what to do exactely...
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  #9  
Unread 07-11-2020, 04:03 PM
ElenaJ ElenaJ is offline
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Re: Marriage / family

There you go. He asked you to not sell the house. But you are paying for it!
Think about this. It is your lesson to be learned.
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  #10  
Unread 07-11-2020, 04:14 PM
Aijabu Aijabu is offline
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Re: Marriage / family

Quote:
Originally Posted by ElenaJ View Post
There you go. He asked you to not sell the house. But you are paying for it!
Think about this. It is your lesson to be learned.
Ok, I see. Still, it is not so bad as it may look, I'm paying for this house same money that I would pay for a two room appartement in a city. Even if I move I will still pay the same money. When he left he asked our bank to make smaller payments and he helps to pay a bit.
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  #11  
Unread 07-11-2020, 04:34 PM
ElenaJ ElenaJ is offline
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Re: Marriage / family

Listen to yourself.
You are doing all the reasoning and justification for why you don't have to confront the 8th house north node.
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  #12  
Unread 07-11-2020, 04:48 PM
Aijabu Aijabu is offline
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Re: Marriage / family

Quote:
Originally Posted by ElenaJ View Post
Listen to yourself.
You are doing all the reasoning and justification for why you don't have to confront the 8th house north node.
Ok I accept your point of view.
I would like to say however that we took almost 1 year to dicuss all the solutions available to us, this is the decision what we made together after many, many conversations. It is not the perfect long time solution, I agree.
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  #13  
Unread 07-11-2020, 11:03 PM
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aquarius7000 aquarius7000 is offline
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Re: Marriage / family

Quote:
Originally Posted by Aijabu View Post
Ok, I see. Still, it is not so bad as it may look, I'm paying for this house same money that I would pay for a two room appartement in a city. Even if I move I will still pay the same money. When he left he asked our bank to make smaller payments and he helps to pay a bit.
Look, that is a valid point, if indeed the money you would pay out for rent is the money you are paying out for mortgage/ loan.

Is the house solely on your name? Make sure it is. If you are not completely sure, get a lawyer to look at the paperwork.

Also, be sure you will be able to maintain the house in terms of taxes, insurance, maintenance. If you are able to, then it might be a better bet to own the house than rent another place.

The real important point is that you should be honest to your own self, and should in no way doing something - just because you think it could be a way to get your husband to come back.

You need to learn to love your own self and stand up on your own two feet and for your own self. You are in no way any less than your ex husband. Perhaps actually a better human being - which is what matters. A dog works emotional wonders and is a real companion, so I am happy you have one.

The next time you are in a relationship, you know exactly what to watch out for. Never come together with a person out of any kind of dependence. Often times that does not work well. From your chart and also because you seem to have matured, your next relationship will be much better than the last one.
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