My repressed self expression and sexuality

or1000

Well-known member
Hello all, I am looking into my repressed self expression/sexuality (though they both come under the same umbrella in simpler terms)...

Earlier on i was having a discussion about Chiron touching uranus, sun, moon, harshly and how this may affect my ability to self express, and an innate feeling of being outcast, a bit of hit to the ego. With Uranus in the 5th house...




PS. i just wanted to check that i am uploading my chart correctly and if when you check the chart do you prefer more information.
 

Attachments

  • Screen Shot 2018-09-25 at 23.39.10.jpg
    Screen Shot 2018-09-25 at 23.39.10.jpg
    57.8 KB · Views: 51

kimbermoon

Well-known member
A complex chart such as this is bound to create variable difficulties in the life, especially since it involves a grand cross in the fixed signs. This intense configuration involves security, resources and self-worth. A Grand Fixed Cross deals with security, resources and self-worth.

The energies work at cross purposes, which makes for a lot of confusion and instability, especially in the younger years. The purpose here is that you have a lot of 'inner work' to undertake in order to gain a greater sense of control and power in the life. You have a lot of karmic energies at work here, which basically means that the psyche has a lot of carry over baggage from your genetic and childhood influences.

You are prone to being emotionally repressed [Saturn/Moon, with Capricorn ruling the 4th]; this stems from your early conditioning and imprinting from the family and relatives. The Moon represents the Mother, and her influence may be at the heart of your inner sense of repression and uncertainty. You are being called to address your emotions more directly and gain an understanding of their purpose in our lives.

'Emotions are the river upon which our memories from the past are carried forward into the future we are creating.' They represent the foundations of our actions, and reactions, in the outer world which are at the seat of our external experiences [the law of cause and effect]. Our challenge in life is to learn to be aware of our emotions and learn to control them, rather than having them control us.

More often than not, people believe that we control our world through the mind, while in truth we often allow the emotions to control us through our perceptions and subsequent actions. This represents the differentiation between our conscious workings and our subconscious. The Moon in Scorpio is emotionally intense and seductive, making one sensitive and possessive, especially when feeling out of control. This Moon often creates an air of mystery which can be interpreted as suspicion by many.

Intersecting this polarity is another opposition between Mercury and Neptune which causes it's own share of confusion, indecision, deception or disillusionment.

Your Sun is also afflicted by Uranus which can easily cause a distortion of your sense of personal Identity. Uranus is a disruptive energy; you can vacillate between being a rebel or a revolutionary; it demands independence but also induces sudden changes that can cause destabilization. This represents your 'hit to the ego' from the past, which may be associated with the father's influence or other male influences.

Saturn in the 8th H can definitely relate to sexual repression, and since Mars in Cancer is in detriment, this too can hold you back from expressing your sexuality in healthy ways, especially in view of your Mothers inhibiting influence and perhaps due to family values, beliefs and taboos.

Still you do have an out-of-sign grand trine, which may ultimately help to offset the challenges in your life, especially in later life, if you attend to gaining greater self-awareness and work on the inner complexes that hold you back.
 

miquar

Well-known member
Hi or1000.

I think the main thing to focus on is the Moon Chiron conjunction in Scorpio, with the Moon ruling the Sun. The important thing here is to move forward into more fulfilling experiences of connectedness - to assimilate more of your psyche into your subjective sense of self so that this can be mirrored in your outer life by a sense of belonging in the world. Without this, nothing else is going to fall into place for you.

You could look at the Moon Uranus square and the Sun Uranus quincunx - both very close - as also relevant if things happened in your childhood that disrupted your sense of safety and belonging. You could also look at the fact that your chart-ruler - Mercury - is closely trine Pluto and also square Saturn. There are various things you could bring into the picture, but the way you deal with the watery process of assimilation is paramount.

My overall sense of the chart-as-a-whole is that you may benefit from undertaking some form of learning/apprenticeship/discipleship or whatever in order to focus your considerable energy and also to give you a medium through which you can discover your 'voice'. I don't know of you've considered such an undertaking, or if you have the means and opportunity to pursue such a thing, but if this does feel right for you, then hopefully a path will present itself. The thing about fixity is that it needs to engage with something - it's not self-directing like cardinality, or free-floating like mutability.

And of course it's fine to engage with one thing and then another - rather than sticking with one thing forever - as long as you're clear that it's the right time to break away from something as a way of renewing your commitment to life (rather than avoiding something which may be growthful). This distinction can be difficult for fixed types to discern.

Best wishes

Miquar
 

or1000

Well-known member
Hi or1000.

I think the main thing to focus on is the Moon Chiron conjunction in Scorpio, with the Moon ruling the Sun. The important thing here is to move forward into more fulfilling experiences of connectedness - to assimilate more of your psyche into your subjective sense of self so that this can be mirrored in your outer life by a sense of belonging in the world. Without this, nothing else is going to fall into place for you.

You could look at the Moon Uranus square and the Sun Uranus quincunx - both very close - as also relevant if things happened in your childhood that disrupted your sense of safety and belonging. You could also look at the fact that your chart-ruler - Mercury - is closely trine Pluto and also square Saturn. There are various things you could bring into the picture, but the way you deal with the watery process of assimilation is paramount.

My overall sense of the chart-as-a-whole is that you may benefit from undertaking some form of learning/apprenticeship/discipleship or whatever in order to focus your considerable energy and also to give you a medium through which you can discover your 'voice'. I don't know of you've considered such an undertaking, or if you have the means and opportunity to pursue such a thing, but if this does feel right for you, then hopefully a path will present itself. The thing about fixity is that it needs to engage with something - it's not self-directing like cardinality, or free-floating like mutability.

And of course it's fine to engage with one thing and then another - rather than sticking with one thing forever - as long as you're clear that it's the right time to break away from something as a way of renewing your commitment to life (rather than avoiding something which may be growthful). This distinction can be difficult for fixed types to discern.

Best wishes

Miquar

You mention the focus on Moon Chiron conjunction in Scorpio, and moon trining the sun. I find myself trying to understand and weave more of my psyche into my personal 'sense of self', which is crazy that you say this. Its exactly what I am learning to do. I am fascinated. This is what is giving me grounding in the world instead of seeking outside of myself, which is what i have done in the past.

Disrupted sense of safety and belonging is what I have been talking through lately with another. I hadn't known of this until recently that the shake up uranus has on my sun. That disruption in my early childhood.

I may benefit from undertaking some form of learning/discipleship, I see your point and it very well does help. As this is something I have already worked on.
"The thing about fixity is that it needs to engage with something - it's not self-directing like cardinality, or free-floating like mutability." fixity is stuck unless it is focused on something, and I feel this deeply recently. Though my sun is in cancer (which you can probably tell from my "i feel this deeply"), I have a high concentration of fixed.
 
Last edited:

miquar

Well-known member
Hi. Thanks for your response. That sounds really positive. And as you continue to blossom, you will become increasingly effective at helping others find peace and a sense of belonging.

Best wishes

Miquar
 
Top