Feel left out of life, hopeless....analysis appreciated

Hello members,

I've been on this forum since 2005 and I had a lot of promise and potential but I've messed my life up.

I had so much vigour, enthusiam, hope when I was younger and its all messed up. I'm feeling bad. The last 3 years has been spent just working hard studying and doing no socialising. And I've failed my first year at uni so I've spent this year just doing retakes. I'm afriad to socialise. I've lost my identity by failing my first year at uni and my younger cousins graduating earlier than me.

Almost everybody I know has a degree by 23, has some sporting achievements, a car, a great social life and I have non of that. I'm feeling left out of life. At 23, I've not achieved anything, I'm very ambitious and competitve but there is no tangible achievement to back it up.

My family members and the wider community don't know who I am still. I am scared to socialise now out of the fear of being judged and compared (I come from a status seeking culture) I just don't fit in.

I have jupiter in accidental dignity in the 10th (good reptuation, status), a lot of 10th house aspects, a strong mars, venus-moon mutual reception, strong moon, sun sextile moon (a great life). I cannot understand why things have gone against me.

I don't know how may life will plan out.

Analysis appreciated,
Amit

I think the only thing that is going "wrong" right now, is the reason you are doing things, because they are not your reasons to do them. You need to reconnect with your own drive for doing what you are doing.

I'm noticing that Saturn has been both squaring your own natal Saturn as is presently squaring your natal Venus, which rules your 9th house of education and learning. So, these events are not failure but rather trying to redirect you to your own reasons for doing what you are doing.

I also think that this aspect, and the natal Moon near your 9th shows that you need something that is more fluid. And, that you may need to slightly change your focus for career or modify it in some way to something that is more you rather than comparable to your siblings and parents expectations. You can still have status or whatever it is your seek but, it cannot be the reason you do things or you will go astray like you are now.

Find your own North Star again and you'll be on course in no time at all.

Amit 89,
I notice you have the sun opposing uranus and Saturn. At the present time Uranus is T squaring this opposition.
Imagine Uranus as the sign of your yearning for others to appreciate you, to see you,to cheer you, to show your brilliance to the masses.
Are you the star of the show or is Uranus ? ( the masses, others ) are you going to walk onto the stage and play your music whether the crowd likes it or not, or are you going to fall on there insults and criticism.
The stage is life the music your individuality, should you care at all what Uranus ( others) think.

Stephen

Hi Amit.

The beginning of every new school is hard. I don't know what initially made you choose your uni and whether it was the best choice for you, that's something you have to decide. When one starts univesity, he doesn't know what's exactly expected from him. Yes, we are given syllabus, list of subjects on each year and whatnot, but what we lack is the mental awarness of the situation. Once we learn how to learn what's expected from us, we can be successful.

There are many advices on how to study which can be found online. I think the key is organising. You have to learn to manage your time efficiently, and then not only that you'll have time for studying, but for socialising as well. Ain't the whole life a battle against time?

I had a bad period in my studying when I was the 2nd year of university. I had to retake that year. It happened at the time when my long relationship ended. I was miserable. I tried to work on glueing my relationship more that I spent on studying. However, I did study, but fruitlessly. I used to read my books for hours without knowing what I'm reading. And, ironically, I stuck at some general knowledge subjects, which weren't even related to my studies.
Then something happened. We had a high school reunion. I talked to a friend from my class who bragged how he graduated economy. I was shocked! Some girls were also saying how successful they were at their colleges. I was so pissed off! (recently I found out they lied, they weren't even at uni, but at some 2-year colleges, ha!) That anger energised me to pass a couple of exams and enter the 3rd year. So I suggest you use your feelings of anger\jealousy\whatever you feel towards your younger cousins who have already graduated, and chanel that energy into studying even harder and more dedicatedly. When I finally was my 3rd year, the fear of failing again kept me going, and not only that I stopped failing but my marks were much better. Back then, I was so persistant and disciplined that I wouln't have gone to bed if I hadn't learned what I had previously planned.
I graduated when I was 25, got a job, educated myself even some more. Moreover, it turned out that not many people here finish uni before 28 or something. The point is that you shouldn't let one bad period control your entire life.

I see that your Venus is in Cancer. So is mine. I guess the downside of it is that once we're hurt or scared of something, we tend to dig ourself in our homes and lick our wounds there. Your Venus is in the 10th house, so you should be popular in your career. However, IMO, I think this is where you are most sensitive too. It your Achilles' heel. And no matter how great your planets are possitioned, you cannot afford to wait for the things to fall from the sky for you. My Venus is in the 7th house, so I'm vulnerable when it comes to the matters of the hearts.

It seems to me that your lack of socialising is self-imposed. I think it's your way of punishing yourself. And what did you exactly mean by socialising? Going to parties, getting drunk, or simply having friends? There are many ways one can find friends, and maybe you could even find someone to study with.

In my country, there are social centers in which they offer free career orientation testings. Maybe there's something similar in the UK. If you're still unsure whether you chose the right path for you, I recommend you talking to a professional. I have a cousin who failed the first year at Uni, and then she chose an easier one and finished it on time.

As for studying, I can give you a few tips that helped me. Take a highlighter and mark the important things. Introduce yourself to as many fellow students, especially those who have recently passed the exams you soon plan to take. Find out which questions are frequently asked at the exams. Go listen to the oral exams. Go to your teachers and ask them for an advice.

Sorry if I wrote too much, I hope I haven't bored you to death.

Good luck and all the best to you

Hey Amit, you have so much promise, I'm sure you'll sort it out. I'd just like to say that I used to be VERY shy. I've always had friends but I'd miss out on a lot sometimes because of excessive shyness. I think if you genuinely want to 'socialise' more, in whatever way you prefer, at first you just need to be brave and face the fear. I remember when on my 1st year of uni I bumped into an acquaintance and we started chatting and they suggested we got some coffee or something I always had an excuse, purely because I was afraid it might get awkward/we might run out of things to say.

I started pushing myself a little, nothing major, just not letting my 'fear' of it going wrong paralyse me because after all what's the worst that could happen? A bit of awkwardness. Then it became easier and now I'm way more confident and happier. Still a bit shy, but I don't let it get in the way of the things I want to do.

Also what Becca says about your 10th being your Achilles' heel sounds important - if you're too preoccupied with your reputation or how others see you, the real you won't shine through (really don't mean to be corny here but you get the idea.) Problem with Venus-Jupiter goodness sometimes is that we can get complacent - not saying that you have, I don't know, but it's always good to keep motivation up (I always watch myself when I have Venus-Jupiter sextiles/trines, for example, so I don't overindulge/get lazy etc).
Also, all those harsh aspects you're experiencing will move on with time (although I confess I'm finding it hard to remember that in relation to my own transit at the moment but.. such is life I guess!)
Good luck!