Why?????

Why do I always try to feel happy and normal when I'm in a crowd of friends or even with an individual I dont think it matters, and I don't agree with something but I don't say anything and I always regret not saying what I feel and care about others more. It almost seems like I care about others more although I pretty conquered this it tends to come back when I get tired of proving things to people and later on I hate myself for it

Here is my birth chart I almost forgot it:

Could be Mercury. Though I don't really know if i know what you mean. Can you explain your question better? Maybe pinpoint something in your chart you want clarification on.

Hi there BBR,

(bbr: are you promoting, British Broadcasting Radio -just kidding; I'm always for a short & sweet name). Ok, back to Astrology; your chart shows Sun-Moon opposition, which is the main culprit, IMO. You see, this shows that there is an eternal conflict (opposition) between your conscious (Sun) and subconscious (Moon) beings; identity, will, ego (Sun) and emotions, feelings and instinct (Moon)- so your will/ego makes you act against your emotional well-being; the masculine energies (Sun) and the feminine side (Moon). This is a difficult aspect, as the two luminaries are what the native most closely lives with day in and day out. Got to go now, but maybe you can relate to this a bit.

Bbr, for the sake of astro learning, try looking yourself at other personal planets and aspects in your chart.

aquarius7000

I read your description of what's bothering you and instantly thought "Chiron". The key phrase for this planet is: doing things for other people (e.g. in your case, listening and allowing them to say what they want to say) which you're unable to do for yourself (getting listened to and allowed to say what YOU want to say).

Another thing that makes me think there may be a Chiron connection is how annoyed you are by this! I'm just figuring out my own Chiron business, and it is infuriating/depressing/disheartening: the feeling that, no matter my intentions - and awareness! - I always fall back into a familiar pattern, no matter how much I try not to.

By lucky chance I found an extremely good writer on Chiron yesterday:

http://chirotic.wordpress.com/2008/07/24/chiron-in-aries-through-the-houses-part-1

The article is specifically about Chiron in Aries, but it gives a good intro to what Chiron is about.

I don't see Chiron on the chart you attached; many chart-generators don't include it by default, but you can definitely find out where Chiron lies for you at http://www.astro.com

Maybe you're right my chiron is in cancer. But initially I though it is because one of my virgo signs since virgo doesn't like to show any weakness. And I don't like to show that I tend to get pissed off easily so my moon (aquarius) which is also my persoanlity from what I know has a problem with getting mad easily since I read moon in aquarius people don't like to show emotions. Nothing tends to get to them you know? Here is where I got this from: "Although Lunar Aquarians can be especially adept at understanding others' behavior and motivations, they can lose touch with their own—simply because they have identified too strongly with what they aspire to be (and these aspirations are often super-human)." So I tend to think that showing emotions in public is not ideal therefore I bring that super-human strength to not show it.

I heard virgo does not show weakness but then again my mars in virgo says that I get annoyed by the smallest detail in other words anal you could say.

I just wish I was more aggressive in nature and not the nice guy that I tend to be. Sometimes I get people's opinions about myself and I get shocked because they tell me that I'm a very nice guy and blah blah blah and so I get surprised and I think it is because I tend to think that I'm in my own little world(neptune??). It's weird because I'm so aggressive with myself inside like when I think and stuff. I have these violent thoughts about fighting and beating up people that I don't like or people who annoy me and I get very emotional thinking about it. I criticize myself too much to be perfect(or close to it) and I sometimes wish I could be aggressive towards people without thinking about what I've done to them and feel bad about it. I have to feel bad about everything I do that might be bad and I can never care about what I do. I am thinking that it is my venus in virgo though and its pissing me off really bad. Sometimes I get so overwhelmed about worrying about everything that I just get pissed to the point of not giving a **** about anything anymore. lol I find it funny for some reason cuz I can't get along with myself.

I looked at my aspects but I think its more of my sun and moon and my virgo signs that are doing these to me. I mean my sun and moon have problems with each other and my mars in virgo gets boiled over why this is going on. I just wanna know if these planets are the ones that do this to me. My aspects WERE obvioulsy true but I didnt find anything that related to this particular situation so I decided to find the reasons within these planets although my sun and moon have no planetory aspect to my virgos but they are still very different signs indeed and maybe that's were the problem is at

Most of your planets (accept for jupiter) is on the right side of the chart and indicates a focus on others vs self. In addition to that your asc venus is in a sign of its fall thus it is not strong. Uranus seems to have a lot of connections and is at the top of your chart. With the sun opposite the moon and Uranus playing a larger role in your chart (it seems to be the planet with the most aspects) you may have a lot of internal conflicts and erratic thoughts that make it hard for you to put yourself forward.

Jupiter, to bbr

bbr,

You asked:

Why do I always...proving things to people

Click to expand...

You have a bucket chart with Jupiter (expansion, also knowledge, teaching) as the "handle". So you have a need to know and a need to teach. This can result in your needing to be "right" about things, to be the one "in the know". The challenge is to be willing to listen other people's ideas and learning from THEM. This challenge is indicated in your chart, since most of your planets are on the right (others) side of the chart. So, listen to others, learn what you are talking about...and THEN teach.

Teaching,

Tim

The key is the Sun-Moon opposition. Your emotional sense of security comes from getting along well with others, being part of a larger group (both 11th house and Aquarius). However your sense of self, what makes you happy and "shine" is to assert your ego and individuality regardless of what the group thinks (Leo and 5th house). The two are in opposition and hence conflict.

To make it worse you have Pluto in the 7th house and the 7th house cusp is in Scorpio which means from your point of view your relationships with other people have a sense of power struggle about it i.e. there has to be a winner and a loser.

lmao omg you got me there Yoi. Thats why I wish I was aggressive.

btw I greatly appreciate everyone's description

I tend to be a slave to my thoughts, like I tend to think about random c**p in a way that my mind makes me care about it or notice and I find it very annoying. Do you guys understand what I mean? And it is very frustrating like I'm trying to sleep and it keeps on going and going and I'll be saying "I'm trying to sleep you inconsiderate brain". I heard a lot of people are like this though but personally when I think about it astrologically I think it is my moon in Aquarius since they daze off and think about stuff randomly (I've known other moon in aquarius people like this including my gf). But I want to know if this is even something that is from an astrological impact.

Jupiter in house of its detriment, to bbr

bbr,

You said:

I tend to be a slave to my thoughts, like I tend to think...in a way that my mind makes me care about it or notice and I find it very annoying.

Click to expand...

I think this is from your having Jupiter (expansion) focused in the 3rd house (thinking, also details). This indicates you go over and over and over (expansively) all the details of the things around you.

Detailed,

Tim