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  #1  
Unread 04-17-2018, 08:15 PM
turkish girl turkish girl is offline
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sincerely asking ,when i will be happy and peaceful?

Some people will think i exaggrate things or i should be thankful what i have got . Since the time i truly know myself i can not define some periods i was totally happy and peaceful.There was always something wrong through parents or other relatives or about my brother or me etc.I remember myself counting days down when i was 9-10 to reach my 18th anniversay and get a new life and leave home etc.

Even now i am 24 and a bit more,nothing changed really.Now things comes so and so much heavier than before.Sometimes i feel like i am going to lose my control.Past baggage and when new problems added there ,i feel like i am going nowhere.I even can not understand how i came to this point.

I am not satisfied with anything,feeling terribly alone in these crowd,crying for days ,lost my motivation towards my job,trying to study for hours everyday,crying then studying then crying again.
Except a few close friends i mostly keep rejecting friend's invitation because i do not see any point to spend my time with them.I do not feel belonged to anywhere or anyone and it kills me.Unfortunately terribly obsessed finding love and getting sick of it too.

I feel like day by day i am becoming a harsh person.I do not want to be that powerful who forgets how to feel,who feels numb.I am losing my tolerance for everything.

When things will turn finally normal?Or will i get crazy like my dad?Sincerely i am afraid to become crazy because of lots of genetic factors..I already had panic attacks and still afraid of it.I do not want to take suggestion for the situation i am in now.So no misunderstanding ,the way i explained all these was not for you guys to cheer me up or nurture or something.It was for clarifying.

Please just give me an astrology reading regarding my question.
thank you very much for your time...
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  #2  
Unread 04-18-2018, 06:23 AM
turkish girl turkish girl is offline
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Quote:
Originally Posted by kshantaram View Post
hope information helps reflect, share feedbacks how true-insightful-helpful :


virgo asc critical, perfectionist, health conscious;
asc lord mer over 6th for health-employment-services,
quarrelsome-argumentative, health issues-skin/nerves etc

sun-mars-mer-venus-sat stellium acq 6th, reformist, innovative,
detached attitude/disorientation towards heatlh-employment-opponents;


separative south node ketu now transit acq 6th accident prone,
job separation; pain-injury-surgery to care;

offer red flowers at the alter at home sat mornings;


sun-moon opp confused thinking,
moon-sat opposition health and emotional stress;
mer-sat opp negotiation skills, tactical abilities, manipulative;
venus-sat opp seeking affection but difficult to manifest;
mars-moon opp volatile emotions and finances;
rahu now transit moon leo 12th for foriegn lands, clouding the mind;
moon leo high self-pride, individualism, sensitive;


pisces 7th inimical-malefic for virgo asc,
stress-delays in marriage/relationship/partnerships/business;


mars 9th lord for luck over acq 5th, tech-innovative aptitudes; irritable;


7th lord jup now transit natal jup scorpio 3rd,
research-occult-consultancy-advisory roles-forensic interests;
trine elevated aspect cancer 11th for income-gains-friendships;
trine aspect own inimical pisces 7th supportive of marriage-business,
though under stress-delay;



natal ketu separative south node gemini 10th,
hyper-analytical, confused decision making,

good at information processing, career-job changes,

rahu sag 4th trine moon hyper-ambitious and impulsive,
seeking optimism and justice and foreign environments;
wear brown hesonite over pendant;


sat sooner transit own cap 5th for public admin, event management,
seeking change but stuck, negating employment prospects;
observe fast sat evenings taking milk-fruits;

sat transit cap elevated aspect libra 2nd good for family-fin-speech now;

sat 2.5yrs later move to own acq 6th, but sat transit sun etc and opp moon,
health-employment under great stress;

natal sat own acq, success amidst adversity;
sat return calling for taking major decisions of life impacting next 30yrs;


jup year end move to own sag 4th, better for domestic comfort, mother;
prayers to saint of faith, yellow flowers at the alter at home tues evenings;
Thanks ksantharam,but I already know how the situation is bad and how awful I feel.Regarding your comment which is mainly true but this was not what I am looking for.I kind of know my birth chart and bad at timing so I hope someone will predict timing for me when things turn normal when I will find happiness.
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  #3  
Unread 04-18-2018, 04:12 PM
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Renee35 Renee35 is offline
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Re: sincerely asking ,when i will be happy and peaceful?

Quote:
Originally Posted by turkish girl View Post
Some people will think i exaggrate things or i should be thankful what i have got . Since the time i truly know myself i can not define some periods i was totally happy and peaceful.There was always something wrong through parents or other relatives or about my brother or me etc.I remember myself counting days down when i was 9-10 to reach my 18th anniversay and get a new life and leave home etc.

Even now i am 24 and a bit more,nothing changed really.Now things comes so and so much heavier than before.Sometimes i feel like i am going to lose my control.Past baggage and when new problems added there ,i feel like i am going nowhere.I even can not understand how i came to this point.

I am not satisfied with anything,feeling terribly alone in these crowd,crying for days ,lost my motivation towards my job,trying to study for hours everyday,crying then studying then crying again.
Except a few close friends i mostly keep rejecting friend's invitation because i do not see any point to spend my time with them.I do not feel belonged to anywhere or anyone and it kills me.Unfortunately terribly obsessed finding love and getting sick of it too.

I feel like day by day i am becoming a harsh person.I do not want to be that powerful who forgets how to feel,who feels numb.I am losing my tolerance for everything.

When things will turn finally normal?Or will i get crazy like my dad?Sincerely i am afraid to become crazy because of lots of genetic factors..I already had panic attacks and still afraid of it.I do not want to take suggestion for the situation i am in now.So no misunderstanding ,the way i explained all these was not for you guys to cheer me up or nurture or something.It was for clarifying.

Please just give me an astrology reading regarding my question.
thank you very much for your time...
May begins the improvement, but it won't be until following June 20th that you're actually at a concrete state of happiness, the good news is that the Fall is fantastic for you - come October.
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  #4  
Unread 04-18-2018, 04:13 PM
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Renee35 Renee35 is offline
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Re: sincerely asking ,when i will be happy and peaceful?

Quote:
Originally Posted by Renee35 View Post
May begins the improvement, but it won't be until following June 20th that you're actually at a concrete state of happiness, the good news is that the Fall is fantastic for you - come October.
And when I say May I mean after the 1ST 2 weeks - then there's only a couple not so good days.
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  #5  
Unread 04-18-2018, 05:58 PM
turkish girl turkish girl is offline
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Renee35 View Post
May begins the improvement, but it won't be until following June 20th that you're actually at a concrete state of happiness, the good news is that the Fall is fantastic for you - come October.
Thank you so much Renee
20th June is interestingly the date when I will graduate from school but til 12th August I am not total free.this is the day when I have to take a very big exam.
And interestingly fall is time when I will start working ,may I ask in which areas you are seeing improvement? Career?love?money?
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  #6  
Unread 04-18-2018, 08:09 PM
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ardentika ardentika is offline
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Re: sincerely asking ,when i will be happy and peaceful?

From what I read your problem is not with time or transits, but entirely internal.
You do have moon in leo in 12 that's opposing Saturn which generally might bring this feeling of eternal judgement, criticism towards your self and life, and Leo moon is like a magnifying glass. It exaggerates everything it touches.

This aspect itself is causing you the feelings of loneliness, isolation and sadness. And no transit ever will change that. The change must come from within. You must focus on that aspect, learn more about it and learn how you can overcome it, or what's the cause for it.
My advice is, since it's the moon, heal your relationship with your mother, even your father. Only when we forgive our parents we can experience bliss and joy in our own relationships.
This aspects might cause you to appear to others closed off, cold and distant, even much so with Moon in 12th. You have such great difficulty expressing your emotions and feelings, being warm towards others, that this is exactly what you get, being manifested in the outside world. The Moon in 12th is a powerful manifestor. It will bring to your physical reality everything that you are hiding in your subconsciousness. And this is exactly what's happening.
You need to work on overcoming the fear of opening up to others and expressing your feelings. Consider some sort of counseling in a group area, a safe place to begin with.
Pluto Squaring your Moon makes everything even MORE exploding and intense. :/
But Pluto here demands for death of the old and birth to the new. In translation, you are being asked by Pluto to bring to methaphorical death all of the old patterns from your childhood. You might have felt unloved, had cold or distant parent/s , but this is in the past and it requires to die and be left in the past, for a new you could be born.

If you manage to master this Moon opp. Saturn aspect you can be such a loving and generous and fun person! (Leo moons are the best, take it from one :b )
You can also be extremely responsible and mature with your emotions, thanks to Saturn. Oppositions are all about relationships. You gotta work on that relationship between those two planets. Don't be too harsh on yourself, love yourself more for who you are, don't let Saturn take full control of the Moon. The goal here is to real the middle point between those two energies, because this aspect will never disappear from your chart, but you can lessen its effect significantly. I always see the opposition aspect as Libra. It's about we-the two planets- working as a team, rather against each other.
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  #7  
Unread 04-19-2018, 10:17 AM
turkish girl turkish girl is offline
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Re: sincerely asking ,when i will be happy and peaceful?

Quote:
Originally Posted by ardentika View Post
From what I read your problem is not with time or transits, but entirely internal.
You do have moon in leo in 12 that's opposing Saturn which generally might bring this feeling of eternal judgement, criticism towards your self and life, and Leo moon is like a magnifying glass. It exaggerates everything it touches.

This aspect itself is causing you the feelings of loneliness, isolation and sadness. And no transit ever will change that. The change must come from within. You must focus on that aspect, learn more about it and learn how you can overcome it, or what's the cause for it.
My advice is, since it's the moon, heal your relationship with your mother, even your father. Only when we forgive our parents we can experience bliss and joy in our own relationships.
This aspects might cause you to appear to others closed off, cold and distant, even much so with Moon in 12th. You have such great difficulty expressing your emotions and feelings, being warm towards others, that this is exactly what you get, being manifested in the outside world. The Moon in 12th is a powerful manifestor. It will bring to your physical reality everything that you are hiding in your subconsciousness. And this is exactly what's happening.
You need to work on overcoming the fear of opening up to others and expressing your feelings. Consider some sort of counseling in a group area, a safe place to begin with.
Pluto Squaring your Moon makes everything even MORE exploding and intense. :/
But Pluto here demands for death of the old and birth to the new. In translation, you are being asked by Pluto to bring to methaphorical death all of the old patterns from your childhood. You might have felt unloved, had cold or distant parent/s , but this is in the past and it requires to die and be left in the past, for a new you could be born.

If you manage to master this Moon opp. Saturn aspect you can be such a loving and generous and fun person! (Leo moons are the best, take it from one :b )
You can also be extremely responsible and mature with your emotions, thanks to Saturn. Oppositions are all about relationships. You gotta work on that relationship between those two planets. Don't be too harsh on yourself, love yourself more for who you are, don't let Saturn take full control of the Moon. The goal here is to real the middle point between those two energies, because this aspect will never disappear from your chart, but you can lessen its effect significantly. I always see the opposition aspect as Libra. It's about we-the two planets- working as a team, rather against each other.

Thank you for your replying and your time,

Yes i am pretty much aware of the t square in my chart.I have discussed about this with senior astrologers here.

The thing is i was not that awful before,for several months i am getting worse.So i am thinking there is something going on with transits too.

I love myself,and i am being honest.Actually i do not think problem is me.The problem is i lost my interest in people.They comes so shallow,insincere,boring etc. I am kind and gentle,i am not cold towards people.I just do not interact with them anymore but with the ones i want to i give my full love for them.It is not like nobody talks to me or either.I have lots of friends but it comes superficial to me.They all have easy lives coming from good families ,have no idea about my problems and they actually do not understand when i mention something about these things.And they comes immature to me.

But i think issue is this.With all people around my age,i am having this t square aspect.Their saturn and pluto hits my moon.This is why i am getting along better with someone older than me.I was thinking about this recently.When the boys asked me out,i was drawing a synastry immediately and all synastry charts were awful because their saturn was conjunting my personal planets or pluto was hitting them all.So maybe i should be in the places where i can interact with more mature ones.

Regarding this moon-saturn opp..this sentence makes me furious...learn and focus on it.What should i learn really..How frigid my mom is?Well there is no chance i can heal my relationship with my mom actually i do not want to.I mean i do not think it is that important for me anymore.I just accepted the fact.I am not arguing her anymore or trying her to love me as i was trying being a lil kid(i maybe tried 50 times).The thing is I really do not care about my mom.This does not mean i have hatred for her,no it is not ,i just accepted the idea i wont have a good relation with her,she can live ,die or whatever.
Regarding my dad,well it is too late.he passed away years ago.

I definitely do not have any fear about opening myself to others,especially to guys.Actually in these last 4-5 years it was my happiest time when i was seeing with the guy i like,and knowing he likes me more than I,it is kind of indescribable feeling.I have never felt myself that close and belonged to someone,that passionate and all.I am really hoping to find someone again who awakens all those feelings in me.

So what i mean is ,maybe it is my bad luck i am surrounded with weirdos,maybe transits can change the stuff,maybe it is just a bad phase i don't know.This is why i wanted to ask it here.Maybe i should post my solar return too.This year's i have checked but next year maybe..

And thank you again ardentika

Last edited by turkish girl; 04-19-2018 at 10:19 AM.
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  #8  
Unread 04-19-2018, 10:48 AM
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ardentika ardentika is offline
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Re: sincerely asking ,when i will be happy and peaceful?

As a true Leo undeveloped moon (due to harsh aspects and 12H) you are quite stubborn and ego-maniac. I say this with love, I'm a Leo moon too and Capricorn sun, needless to say Mao Zedong had this combo.

There is something important that many people fail to realize in this life. That all of our exterior is an image of our interior. Our realities are a perfect manifestation of our core beliefs, no matter if we are aware of them or not. A change starts from the inside, not the outside.

I understand that due to some aspects you are finding it challenging to connect with people your age, or relate to others in general, but it's nothing you can't overcome. Yes, some people might appear immature for your taste, but if you are so mature yourself, you'd just smile and laugh at their immaturity and innocence. A parent does not get mad at their kids for being kids. If so, then the parent has serious problem lol. And that itself might be your challenge. A push for more growth and more maturity.

That's why I'm saying try to heal your relationship with your mother because it will benefit you. Frigid or not, she is a human being too who made her own mistakes. No parent comes with a guidebook "How to be perfect", they are all winging it just as we are. So forgive her, I know it's hard but try to. You don't even have to talk to her, you can all do it in your head space.
Also I'm sorry about your father!

You also have transit Neptune in your 7th house so that is the whole cause I believe. It will make you want to change the way you relate to others. Often times others won't understand you well with this transit, you will have hard times relating mutually with people. For example, even if you interact with older people, and relate to them, they might have hard time relating to you. You sense of reality might be blurred and this transits asks you to be conscious of how *you* project yourself to the *others*.

Also your progressed sun is hitting your natal DC hard, it's there to again bring focus and illumination for your relations to others. It is coupled with transits and progressions, so it's something that calls for your attention and needs change.

You are Virgo rising, you should be very well used to the idea of change and transmutation, due to your piscean descendant.
There is a reason you are presented in this situation, and the sooner you find what the reason is , the sooner you can expect an ease of this situation.

And yes perhaps a Solar Return might add some info to the whole picture.

I hope I didn't offend you in any way!
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  #9  
Unread 04-19-2018, 11:31 AM
turkish girl turkish girl is offline
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Quote:
Originally Posted by ardentika View Post
As a true Leo undeveloped moon (due to harsh aspects and 12H) you are quite stubborn and ego-maniac. I say this with love, I'm a Leo moon too and Capricorn sun, needless to say Mao Zedong had this combo.

There is something important that many people fail to realize in this life. That all of our exterior is an image of our interior. Our realities are a perfect manifestation of our core beliefs, no matter if we are aware of them or not. A change starts from the inside, not the outside.

I understand that due to some aspects you are finding it challenging to connect with people your age, or relate to others in general, but it's nothing you can't overcome. Yes, some people might appear immature for your taste, but if you are so mature yourself, you'd just smile and laugh at their immaturity and innocence. A parent does not get mad at their kids for being kids. If so, then the parent has serious problem lol. And that itself might be your challenge. A push for more growth and more maturity.

That's why I'm saying try to heal your relationship with your mother because it will benefit you. Frigid or not, she is a human being too who made her own mistakes. No parent comes with a guidebook "How to be perfect", they are all winging it just as we are. So forgive her, I know it's hard but try to. You don't even have to talk to her, you can all do it in your head space.
Also I'm sorry about your father!

You also have transit Neptune in your 7th house so that is the whole cause I believe. It will make you want to change the way you relate to others. Often times others won't understand you well with this transit, you will have hard times relating mutually with people. For example, even if you interact with older people, and relate to them, they might have hard time relating to you. You sense of reality might be blurred and this transits asks you to be conscious of how *you* project yourself to the *others*.

Also your progressed sun is hitting your natal DC hard, it's there to again bring focus and illumination for your relations to others. It is coupled with transits and progressions, so it's something that calls for your attention and needs change.

You are Virgo rising, you should be very well used to the idea of change and transmutation, due to your piscean descendant.
There is a reason you are presented in this situation, and the sooner you find what the reason is , the sooner you can expect an ease of this situation.

And yes perhaps a Solar Return might add some info to the whole picture.

I hope I didn't offend you in any way!
Yes I am offended,I did not deserved to labelled as being egomaniac.And I hate when people comments on others lives without knowing anything.
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  #10  
Unread 04-19-2018, 11:46 AM
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ardentika ardentika is offline
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Re: sincerely asking ,when i will be happy and peaceful?

See, all people have egos. Egomaniacs are those who always try to blame it on someone else. I've been there many times and I know how it feels. The fact that we exist creates an ego. Ego=identity. So egomaniac can be well translated in "My own identity maniac"
And we are all about that. But there are healthier ways to express that ego, to ease your own life.
The fact you feel offended speaks of that ego protecting itself from being 'offended' or 'hurt'. In no way am I trying to do this, as a matter of fact I am trying to help, because I know how you feel. But I am genuinely sorry you saw only that word from my whole post. Hate is a strong word, you know. You asked for help but yet you deny it.
Okay, I don't know your life that's true. But I don't need to, you do. And it's fine to accept some people have it harder than others, but that's what builds a character. Once you learn how to navigate, it becomes easier.

And I'm really lost here, are you hoping that a transit will do magic in your life without you require to "work" a bit for it? Because I don't see a reason you would feel offended by my post I said it in a light and humorous way, but the truth often times is unpleasant. I mean I literally told you I have the combination of Mao f*** Zedong
I'm practically described as a dictator and tyrant, cruel and cold. Don't take things so personally, try to detach from yourself, you will see how amazingly helpful that is . It's mere psychology, not a personal attack. I'm trying to help.
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Unread 04-19-2018, 11:53 AM
turkish girl turkish girl is offline
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Quote:
Originally Posted by ardentika View Post
See, all people have egos. Egomaniacs are those who always try to blame it on someone else. I've been there many times and I know how it feels. The fact that we exist creates an ego. Ego=identity. So egomaniac can be well translated in "My own identity maniac"
And we are all about that. But there are healthier ways to express that ego, to ease your own life.
The fact you feel offended speaks of that ego protecting itself from being 'offended' or 'hurt'. In no way am I trying to do this, as a matter of fact I am trying to help, because I know how you feel. But I am genuinely sorry you saw only that word from my whole post. Hate is a strong word, you know. You asked for help but yet you deny it.
Okay, I don't know your life that's true. But I don't need to, you do. And it's fine to accept some people have it harder than others, but that's what builds a character. Once you learn how to navigate, it becomes easier.

And I'm really lost here, are you hoping that a transit will do magic in your life without you require to "work" a bit for it? Because I don't see a reason you would feel offended by my post I said it in a light and humorous way, but the truth often times is unpleasant. I mean I literally told you I have the combination of Mao f*** Zedong
I'm practically described as a dictator and tyrant, cruel and cold. Don't take things so personally, try to detach from yourself, you will see how amazingly helpful that is . It's mere psychology, not a personal attack. I'm trying to help.
I do not want to continue or being argumentative ,actually I have already mentioned I do not want any comment regarding my chart just asking about time and something about predictive astrology.I tried to kindly reply to your first post.Yes again I am offended by your post even by your last post.let's stop here.
Thank u
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Unread 04-19-2018, 01:59 PM
kshantaram kshantaram is offline
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Re: sincerely asking ,when i will be happy and peaceful?

[QUOTE=kshantaram;879453]

appreciate the prompt ack.

the reading discusses the transits,
which imply timing, and the outcomes to expect.

glad you are already aware of your chart,
hope some of the interpretations could have
reinforced your own insights, to share,
making the forum threads-discussions interesting.


wishing well, kshantaram


[QUOTE=kshantaram;879394]
reposted for ready ref, the transits/timings already mentioned :

hope information helps reflect,
do care share and exemplify feedbacks how true-insightful-helpful :
traits-talents-health-events-prospects-plans etc etc



virgo asc critical, perfectionist, health conscious;
asc lord mer over 6th for health-employment-services,
quarrelsome-argumentative, health issues-skin/nerves etc

sun-mars-mer-venus-sat stellium acq 6th, reformist, innovative,
detached attitude/disorientation towards heatlh-employment-opponents;


separative south node ketu now transit acq 6th accident prone,
job separation; pain-injury-surgery to care;

offer red flowers at the alter at home sat mornings;


sun-moon opp confused thinking,
moon-sat opposition health and emotional stress;
mer-sat opp negotiation skills, tactical abilities, manipulative;
venus-sat opp seeking affection but difficult to manifest;
mars-moon opp volatile emotions and finances;
rahu now transit moon leo 12th for foriegn lands, clouding the mind;
moon leo high self-pride, individualism, sensitive;


pisces 7th inimical-malefic for virgo asc,
stress-delays in marriage/relationship/partnerships/business;


mars 9th lord for luck over acq 5th, tech-innovative aptitudes; irritable;


7th lord jup now year ahead transit natal jup scorpio 3rd,
research-occult-consultancy-advisory roles-forensic interests;
trine elevated aspect cancer 11th for income-gains-friendships;
trine aspect own inimical pisces 7th supportive of marriage-business,
though under stress-delay;


jup now these 4-5m retro reviewing and delaying things.


natal ketu separative south node gemini 10th,
hyper-analytical, confused decision making,

good at information processing, career-job changes,

rahu sag 4th trine moon hyper-ambitious and impulsive,
seeking optimism and justice and foreign environments;
wear brown hesonite over pendant;

sat 2.5yrs later moves to own acq 6th,
but sat transit sun etc opp moon,
health-employment under great stress;


sat now transit own cap 5th
for public admin, event management,
seeking change but stuck, negating employment prospects;
observe fast sat evenings taking milk-fruits;


sat transit cap elevated aspect libra 2nd good for family-fin-speech now;


natal sat own acq, success amidst adversity;
sat return 2.5yrs later calling for taking major decisions of life impacting next 30yrs;

jup year end move to own sag 4th 019, better for domestic comfort, mother;
prayers to saint of faith, yellow flowers at the alter at home tues evenings;
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Last edited by kshantaram; 04-19-2018 at 02:23 PM.
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