So many squares! Destined for inner turmoil and loneliness?

Virgoan12

Well-known member
I have so many squares in my natal chart. I have always felt inner turmoil and like I was a walking irony-always fighting with myself. I went through depression and anxiety most of my life.

But I recently started looking at my chart and realize that I will probably have no luck with love, either. It's like I am meant to just do internal work my whole life and become a spiritual teacher who takes clients but lives alone with her cats. My Venus-Neptune square tells me I will forever dream and idealize love but never get it right so be doomed to never having a real relationship. My Venus Quintile Mars, I read somewhere that this indicates infertility and also issues with love. Well, I have PCOS and have doubted whether I would ever have children, too. So I guess all the things I feared most are confirmed looking at my natal chart. Is this the chart of someone who is meant to live a life of solitude?
 

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sibylline

Well-known member
I have so many squares in my natal chart. I have always felt inner turmoil and like I was a walking irony-always fighting with myself. I went through depression and anxiety most of my life.

I too have several squares. They got better over time but yes, the two sides fight each other. Your squares from a Virgo stellium are particularly tough for anxiety.

Is this the chart of someone who is meant to live a life of solitude?

I would say that's up to you. You would probably enjoy solitude but your chart suggests needing to connect with others as well. Venus square Neptune doesn't doom one to singlehood; I know several with this aspect in long-term relationships or marriage. Venus is in a difficult spot in Virgo and the 12th house... What sort of steps have you made to find a relationship? 12th house planets can be very withdrawn but Venus likes to connect.
 

Virgoan12

Well-known member
I don't "try" to connect. I meet people with whom I have a past life connection (I am in the midst of one now) and it was only meant to "teach" me something and never grows into anything. That's my pattern.
 

IleneK

Premium Member
Please PM me if you like. I have a heavily tenanted 12th whose planets empty into a square, along with a lifetime of experience to perhaps give you a broader vision of your life's possibilities.

Wishing you the best,
Ilene
 

kimbermoon

Well-known member
Take heart: you also have very nice trine and sextile aspects to help offset things. Yes the squares are meant to test and challenge us, however they can also be turned around through effort and awareness. It's about turning lemons into lemonade.
It is the influence of the transits that activate the aspects in the chart and by knowing the trends and cycles we can take advantage of the appropriate timing to set changes into play. The blue lines represent more positive things we can avail ourselves of.

The Moon/Pluto aspect represents empowerment through transformation of the underlying emotional complexes within that hold you back from reaching your highest potential. Such complexes must be addressed at the Soul level to really make a difference.

The Jupiter/Neptune connection can assist you in gaining a higher spiritual consciousness, as a foundation on which to place your faith and trust. Saturn is not ill-configured and that suggests a big plus for maintaining stability and security in your life, through whatever channels it takes you. Still, this planetary energy demands patience and maturity; the ability to allow things to come in their own time. Very often our rewards are only gained after we have reached the maturity to recognize the good, rather than just focusing on the negative.

The Virgo energy is highly suggestive of being of service to others, rather than seeking after only those things that serve the self; medicine and healing can be natural expressions for the Virgo.

As I see it, you really have only the Mars/Uranus conjunct to thwart you as your primary challenge. It is helpful then to work on gaining an a full understanding of how this combination works in your life.

Mars represents motivation and ambition, but when misused can become aggressive and conflicted. Uranus is about progress and change, but distortions can make it rebellious and misunderstood. The energy of Mars rules over your 7th H [marriage and relationships] while Uranus rules the 5th [love and creativity] so these are areas that are apt to be most affected by these energies. We can see then how that dynamic can be what most fuels your disappointments and difficulties in life, especially in it's affliction with your Sun, Moon and Mercury.

Venus is a strong marker of one's sense of self-esteem, whether strong or weak. It also relates to your values, ideals and expectations especially as they relate to love and affection. In order to find true love, one must have a balanced and confident sense of self.

The key is that in order to understand our troubles in the outer world, we have to first know what is going on in the 'inside'; as within, so without. Above all, be patient and allow things to come to you in their own time.
 

Virgoan12

Well-known member
Take heart: you also have very nice trine and sextile aspects to help offset things. Yes the squares are meant to test and challenge us, however they can also be turned around through effort and awareness. It's about turning lemons into lemonade.
It is the influence of the transits that activate the aspects in the chart and by knowing the trends and cycles we can take advantage of the appropriate timing to set changes into play. The blue lines represent more positive things we can avail ourselves of.

The Moon/Pluto aspect represents empowerment through transformation of the underlying emotional complexes within that hold you back from reaching your highest potential. Such complexes must be addressed at the Soul level to really make a difference.

The Jupiter/Neptune connection can assist you in gaining a higher spiritual consciousness, as a foundation on which to place your faith and trust. Saturn is not ill-configured and that suggests a big plus for maintaining stability and security in your life, through whatever channels it takes you. Still, this planetary energy demands patience and maturity; the ability to allow things to come in their own time. Very often our rewards are only gained after we have reached the maturity to recognize the good, rather than just focusing on the negative.

The Virgo energy is highly suggestive of being of service to others, rather than seeking after only those things that serve the self; medicine and healing can be natural expressions for the Virgo.

As I see it, you really have only the Mars/Uranus conjunct to thwart you as your primary challenge. It is helpful then to work on gaining an a full understanding of how this combination works in your life.

Mars represents motivation and ambition, but when misused can become aggressive and conflicted. Uranus is about progress and change, but distortions can make it rebellious and misunderstood. The energy of Mars rules over your 7th H [marriage and relationships] while Uranus rules the 5th [love and creativity] so these are areas that are apt to be most affected by these energies. We can see then how that dynamic can be what most fuels your disappointments and difficulties in life, especially in it's affliction with your Sun, Moon and Mercury.

Venus is a strong marker of one's sense of self-esteem, whether strong or weak. It also relates to your values, ideals and expectations especially as they relate to love and affection. In order to find true love, one must have a balanced and confident sense of self.

The key is that in order to understand our troubles in the outer world, we have to first know what is going on in the 'inside'; as within, so without. Above all, be patient and allow things to come to you in their own time.

Thank you so much for your thoughtful reply. I know all of this intuitively. I have a few days where I feel like I understand how to gain control over things and turn to the positive sides of these harsh aspects to integrate positive things in my life but then it all comes crashing down. It never seems to last and I feel like a failure for not being able to "hold on" to these things consistently. I feel like these simple lessons are going to have to constantly be struggled with all my life. I used to think you learn a lesson and conquer it and then move on to the next, but realizing that it's a daily thing to hold these things in your spirit, it seems exhausting and the thought I will always have these drastic ups and downs (i.e, things seem to make sense and I think I'm getting a handle on it and then I realize I have no idea what I believe and what the hell is the point of life?) makes me not even want to try. I feel so defeated and I am so tired. I feel emotionally, mentally and spiritually drained and with so much to learn, I have no idea where to start or what needs tending to first or how to have that balance of developing things while still being present in the real world and not locking myself away and "studying".

Sorry to be unloading, it's just so much. I feel very overwhelmed and lost.
 

kimbermoon

Well-known member
I note that you experienced a very challenging life cycle phase known as the Saturn Return, about 3 years ago. That represents an important turning point in the life, one that only occurs about every 30 years.

What this means is that Saturn has already engaged all the planetary factors in the chart, and is now starting anew. Typically this can symbolize a 'starting over' opportunity; you've already been around the block once and now you begin anew. Often this cycle is accompanied by a 'wiping out of the past' and the achievement of a new sense of maturity, but while undergoing the period it feels as though the rug has been pulled out from under you.

Since Dec 2014, Saturn has been transiting through the sign of Sagittarius, which can trigger depressive tendencies and often a loss of faith and trust in the greater order of things. For you this has also served to activate the tensions of your Mars/Uranus affliction with the Moon, but has also now moved into your 3rd H [the mind and communications]. It can contribute to feelings of limitation and restriction, and lacking freedom. As with any major adjustment, re-definition is required and that is the goal that is surrounding you now.

Pluto is also quite powerful at this time; that energy is all about transformation needed at the Soul level. For those who are experiencing feelings of being dis-empowered, this is the call to really stand up, take back control and reclaim your own power. How we handle such Pluto transits will determine whether we will be a survivor, or succumb to our defeats. Time for a sincere look within in order to find ways to redefine yourself.
 

Virgoan12

Well-known member
What this means is that Saturn has already engaged all the planetary factors in the chart, and is now starting anew. Typically this can symbolize a 'starting over' opportunity; you've already been around the block once and now you begin anew. Often this cycle is accompanied by a 'wiping out of the past' and the achievement of a new sense of maturity, but while undergoing the period it feels as though the rug has been pulled out from under you.

Can you tell me what part of the chart shows when this started and when did it/will it end?

Since Dec 2014, Saturn has been transiting through the sign of Sagittarius, which can trigger depressive tendencies and often a loss of faith and trust in the greater order of things. For you this has also served to activate the tensions of your Mars/Uranus affliction with the Moon, but has also now moved into your 3rd H [the mind and communications]. It can contribute to feelings of limitation and restriction, and lacking freedom. As with any major adjustment, re-definition is required and that is the goal that is surrounding you now.

This is because my MARS and URANUS are in Sagittarius and my Sagittarius is square to my MOON of VIRGO, correct?

Pluto is also quite powerful at this time; that energy is all about transformation needed at the Soul level. For those who are experiencing feelings of being dis-empowered, this is the call to really stand up, take back control and reclaim your own power. How we handle such Pluto transits will determine whether we will be a survivor, or succumb to our defeats. Time for a sincere look within in order to find ways to redefine yourself.

Yes! I can feel this energy and I have been saying to myself that I am stronger than this and will beat this. I do not want to give in to whatever this was and now I realize what it was. Could you please tell me when this Pluto transit started and when it ends? Also, what parts of the chart does it affect? I am new to understanding planets and how things work. How exactly do planetary transits affect one's chart?

Thank you so, so much for your time and help.
 

winterwaltz

Active member
Hi Virgoan12,

If you need anyone to talk to about your squares, feel free to approach me in a DM! I have three humongous T-squares in cardinal signs in the 3rd, 9th and 12th house. :joyful: Squares are not a bad thing per se, I feel that they offer lots of hard-gained opportunities for internal growth.

Remember the story of the tortoise and the hare? The hare laughed at the tortoise for having the audacity to take part in the race with him. Why would the tortoise even think of doing so? The tortoise was slow, heavy and awkward. The hare had agility at its fingertips; it seemed like a lost cause for the tortoise. But the tortoise won the race. Why?

It was humble and possessed a cool attitude and steady pace towards the whole course. The hare sabotaged itself by thinking that the tortoise would never win the race against him, and took a nap. It wasted its abilities because it had taken them for granted.

In a metaphorical sense, the person with hard aspects can be taken to be the tortoise, and a person with easy aspects can be taken to be the hare.

The person with hard aspects is fraught with more landmines with the internal energy than the person with easy aspects. If you look at it, the mind is a precursor to action. We see, or do things differently from the people with easy aspects. A random event that doesn't affect them that much may profoundly affect the person with hard aspects, depending on where these squares are located. But just like the story of the tortoise and the hare, if the person with hard aspects works on these 'landmines'; to ascertain their location and manage them such that they don't blow up in his or her face, he or she can navigate the road much more smoothly, and perhaps with time even travel much faster and/or further than the person with easy aspects.

Your 2nd house planets are squaring the 11th. You may find it hard to share what you own, or your own values, with the collective, with others in a bigger sense. But don't forget your creativity and abundance from your 3rd house of communication, supplanted by Neptune in Sag and Jupiter in Capricorn! You have your 1st house Pluto and Saturn sextiling your 11th house - growth opportunities that won't hamper you in any way like the squares. You can use your Virgoan analytic skills of your self and your ideas to help others. Turn that famous Virgo anxiety into something more constructive :wink:

Nothing is bad or good, it's our attitude that matters more.
 

david starling

Well-known member
V12, you have a full House-reversal, if we connect Signs to Houses. In that case, Aries "owns" the 1st House, but it's opposite-Sign, Libra is there. And, so on, around the circle. This gives you a unique perspective, and perhaps makes it difficult to feel like you "belong" where you are. This is an important attribute of Astrology--letting you know there's nothing wrong with you, and you're the way you're meant to be. So there's really no reason whatsoever for thinking there aren't those with Charts that will fit together with yours, in a complementary, harmonious way. The Squares actually give you a sense of boundaries, which are important touch-stones for your Virgoan perceptions. If you're alone, it's because you treasure your isolation too much. You just need someone who can ease your feelings of disorientation--maybe someone who's TOO tightly tied to a fixed, structural outlook, and needs to loosen things up somewhat!
 

Virgoan12

Well-known member
Your 2nd house planets are squaring the 11th. You may find it hard to share what you own, or your own values, with the collective, with others in a bigger sense. But don't forget your creativity and abundance from your 3rd house of communication, supplanted by Neptune in Sag and Jupiter in Capricorn! You have your 1st house Pluto and Saturn sextiling your 11th house - growth opportunities that won't hamper you in any way like the squares. You can use your Virgoan analytic skills of your self and your ideas to help others. Turn that famous Virgo anxiety into something more constructive :wink:

Thank you so much! This makes a lot of sense. I do find it hard to both share what I own (but even more so, share my own values) with the collective. Yet, I know I am supposed to. This is why my 3rd house is so important to me because I know I am meant to write in some manner or another to help others. Thanks for your insight!
 

Virgoan12

Well-known member
V12, you have a full House-reversal, if we connect Signs to Houses. In that case, Aries "owns" the 1st House, but it's opposite-Sign, Libra is there. And, so on, around the circle. This gives you a unique perspective, and perhaps makes it difficult to feel like you "belong" where you are. This is an important attribute of Astrology--letting you know there's nothing wrong with you, and you're the way you're meant to be. So there's really no reason whatsoever for thinking there aren't those with Charts that will fit together with yours, in a complementary, harmonious way. The Squares actually give you a sense of boundaries, which are important touch-stones for your Virgoan perceptions. If you're alone, it's because you treasure your isolation too much. You just need someone who can ease your feelings of disorientation--maybe someone who's TOO tightly tied to a fixed, structural outlook, and needs to loosen things up somewhat!

David, thank you very much! This has really helped me! I absolutely have always felt like I don't really belong anywhere other than in my own mind. It's why (as you said) I treasure my isolation so much, Could you explain a little more about possibly needing someone who is too tightly tied to a fixed and structural outlook and needs loosening up? How would my "full-house reversal" help me to be this for such a person?
 

david starling

Well-known member
David, thank you very much! This has really helped me! I absolutely have always felt like I don't really belong anywhere other than in my own mind. It's why (as you said) I treasure my isolation so much, Could you explain a little more about possibly needing someone who is too tightly tied to a fixed and structural outlook and needs loosening up? How would my "full-house reversal" help me to be this for such a person?

It's called "Synastry". The Charts mesh, and can supplement each other. Someone who feels stuck in a rut, living too generic a life, would benefit from your unusual, reversed-order perspective. You in turn, would gain a feeling of "belonging".
 
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