Feminine is much broader than you seem to think. Tomboy girls are feminine. Outspoken, blunt women are feminine. It's a different kind from soft, gentle femininity, but still feminine. Being feminine can still involve a very yang personality.
The way you describe yourself, it sounds like your feminine energy is more like a warrior woman. Boudica. Joan of Arc. Katniss Everdeen. Going into mythology, you could consider a goddess like Artemis (Greek) or Freya (Norse) to be your archetype. Powerful women, relate to men as equals, not concerned with being feminine, or not feminine.
Your chart is full of that kind of feminine energy. I think what's really scaring people, though, is the power you radiate from Pluto square Venus. Pluto almost squares your AC, too, it's just a little out of orb. If there's any question about the accuracy of your recorded time of birth, it might actually be a closer square.
Are the people you scare always men? I have Pluto square my AC, and I've had that effect on men sometimes. It was especially noticeable when I was in my late teens to mid twenties. I've run into other women on here who had similar experiences with a Pluto/AC square in their natal charts. The exceptions--men who didn't react that way--were men who were comfortable with feminine power. If they weren't, that's when they would be scared.
It's not insecurity that makes you need to come off as a strong person. That's who you naturally are. Insecurity makes you think you shouldn't be so strong.
When you have that kind of power, all you can do is claim it. If you try to push it away, it just trips you up.
Pluto isn't just square your Venus, it's also square your nodal axis. That means it's something you have to integrate over the course of your life--energy that isn't comfortable for you because of your past life experience with it. If you believe in literal past lives, we could say that Pluto represents what you weren't ready to absorb in your previous lives, or something that hindered or harmed you, or both. We could also regard it, not as a past life story, but as what your ancestors and your culture couldn't face, and you've inherited the task of coming to terms with it.
Your nodes also represent your own journey, over the course of your life, starting with what's comfortable, familiar, but stifling, and ending up with something new that breaks out of the stifling patterns.
South node, where you're starting from, tells us that you're starting with a sense of self (first house) based heavily on social approval (Leo). You've succeeded in gaining that social approval, very, very well: you're popular, without even trying to be. Where you're going--north node--is into being yourself and telling your truth without needing permission from society (Aquarius). That Venus and Mars are both with your north node, tells us that you're integrating masculine and feminine energies. Venus, being right on your north node, has the stronger message, and you're showing it here, by grappling with the idea that you're not feminine enough. It's coming to terms with what femininity means for you, that you're working on.
Venus is femininity, but in Aquarius, she's not soft, meek feminine. She's the kind of feminine that speaks her mind, does what she likes, dresses how she prefers, and doesn't care whether others think that's feminine or masculine or what.
You're also an Aries: warrior energy right there. Mars sextiles your sun and combust Mercury. There's absolutely no way you're not going to be in the world as a warrior type. Maybe your fighting is with words rather than fists, but it's still warrior woman energy.
yes, thank you for the answer like that.
i have always thought i was like that.
inner self was always telling me to fight and to be the best.
even family ( when i was younger) was surprised that i was so fight-ful and fiery.
i was making a lot of drama at home but outside i was nice and i let people go over me(?). i hope this expression is ok.
its because of my inner insecurities.
my parents are not c. they are mid - class . but comparing to the others i was always lacking something.
i come from intelligent family with academic background but somehow my parents got lost in the past and instead of living their own lives they started helping everyone forgetting about themselves. they are freelancers as well so it was very complicated for them to live the life they wanted . they are also GOOD PEOPLE and NICE people especially my dad.
so my mum took the role of a man in a relationship. and since childhood i have been given this picture of a very strong woman.
it was strenghten in my teens and later at university when i overcame every obstacles alone or with help of my parents ( as my friends were surpsised that i have been a strong woman).
so i created a picture of a very strong individual who didnt need any help. because i was insecure that people would know that i was not very rich ( now i know that usually people dont care, and they accepted me in a way that i was).
those things became as an addiction to me because i started feeling bad and i put myself on a low level. my self esteem was very low as i started to connect with toxic type of people.
i attracted people that very very negative and i thought that they were my best friiends. now i know it was toxic because getting and putting down is not good for you.
life is simple when you have a good mindset. because of my insecurities and those people my life became very hard and difficult.
we had long conversations of my poor family, some philosophical thoughts. it became very bad to the point that i started to say bad thing about my family. and the priority for me was to move out immidiatelly with a help of those toxic friends.
but i made a mistake because i told them almost everything of me painting a picture of me a sa weak person a person who needs helps and love.
so when it comes to my relations with men. usually i have been ( mentally) guided by toxe toxic girl - friends to the point that i was asking them for a permission to date or talk to other male friends.
it was even 3 years ago. i was not assertive.
when i became popular in some evnironment those toxic women were petting me down by saying some bad things about my family, and were putting out my past insecurties that i was telling them in secrets. so they were telling about my problems, family and finances to some men i was attracted to.
because they needed to have a control and they needed to be the best in those eyes. EVEN thought they had boyfriends. it was about the attention.
so actually it turned out than those men or MAN i was attracted to treated e like a child because with gossips they thought i was weak or i needed help.
and it was contradiction for them that with my Leo Asc and Aries Sun at 1st impression i was a strong lady.
so others ( women) were digging deeper to my insecure wounds to make me feel bad.
it was about 3-4 years. i didnt have anyone. in 2015 that was ONE story with one of those woman that i just cut the line off. she didnt want me to be happy with someone. and i started gaining my confidence. not outside but inner confidence.
i didnt let anyone control me and i am still gaining power. it was in 2015 and 2016. i was a rival for those women because i have a good family, good childhood, other good friends.
they ( especially one of them) needed to hurt me by my toxic thinking. manipulate.
i opened my eyes in 2016. no contact untill now. i cut all of those people. made them cry. they were following me.
with those men we are friends. or i just loosen up the contact to a facebook or other social media sites.
i dont know still i was so insecure that i attracted so many bad people. and let them control my life.
i know it was bad. but i couldnt cut it.
it was very immidiate in 2016.
i dont regret.
when we meet up somehow somewhere they still look at me , THIS girl is scared of me.
because she didnt know i would be strong , stronger than her.
that was a bad period of my life. since 2016 and 2017 i regain confidence and everything. i am normal.
that is why i ask about those relation with Virgo because i need to also protect my feelings.
i need to observe first.
i dont want to throw myself on that ground without thinking.
those women still mess around in environment. i dont care.
i became an individual and i ATTRACT normal people, not toxic.
Additionally- when I just throw myself to the other environment and to the other business, friend circle and company immidiatelly i started feeling normal.
I started doing my things as i was doing before 5 years ago , i was nice to people, didnt tell everything about myself- but i was attracting normal, cool people.
STILL when i am normal, i hope that i have a good karma because before i was helping others so much so now its a -gain- from the Universe ( back).
I see that you dont need to show off or be attentive to be popular. There is a constant flow and waves of success and failure in everyone's lifes. you dont have to be on the spotlight everytime every day.
i dont need to show off because i know myself and i know with a good work and power i will achive things.
it started turning out to me on a good level. a lot of people know me a lot of them see my good sides and work that i do.
i dont need to listen to others. i can sometimes ask for an advice to my sister or a mum.
i dont know why for me it lasted so long. i feel reborn now since 2017 when i just left those toxic people.
it doesnt mean i am weaker. i am normal. those are toxic people.