Hey so iv never bothered seeking advice like this but i feel its time to get the world wide knowledge for once. Word of warning this may end up a long one.....
Basicaly, Im a leo woman (26 years) who has a crush on a cancer man (35 years). He happens to be one of my bosses.
So being a leo, i pursued him a bit by making the first out of work contact on FB a couple of months back asking to grab a coffe to wich he said that would be great. We had breif conversations for a bout a week but he never seemed to put much effort in actualy chatting (getting to know each other) and of course, we never went for that coffee and he seemed to brush off the other couple times i tried to see him on an out of work basis.. so... I left him alone after this assuming theres no interest.
At a work do, his best friend told him i liked him so sure enough once i was in the cab home i get a message from him after no contact for about a week asking if id got home safe. The converstation quickly turned into him initiating sexting wich isnt my cup of tea but i had a f*** it moment and went with it. ( first sexting experience!) This went on for a couple of days with him also showing just a tad more interest in getting to know me to. Realy just a tad though. He did however start messaging me everyday without me having to be the initiator. However, even with the "sexting" he never seemed keen on meeting up to do the deed itself. He was wuite happy taking care of himself. (He did have the opportunity to ask me round or come round mine.) So another week or so passed and i asked him what it was we were doing as we werent friends, we wernt having sex either and we were werent dating. He said he didnt want to date but wanted to build up trust with me and that he was wary due to our work situation. At this point i clarified i like liked him and not just for sex although sex would be great but not a priority. We agreed to be friends/ collegues watever....
I stopped contacting him except for work related stuff and of course never heard from him unless he was responding to my work queries. (Just like to add that at work he seems to look out for me quite a bit and i often catch him looking over my way but i cant say he makes any extra effort to be around me)
We often go for drinks after work with the rest of our team and iv noticed when he drInks he open up to me and we chat for hours. He has told me about his past relationships. The last night out was interesting as he said he was not over his ex-ex girlfriend, as in the girlfried before his last ex. I also found out through another collegue that hes on tinder but "hes sick of it as the girls arent serious".
Since i invited him to my birthday party and again we were chatting for hours and he crashed at mine.... in my bed.. he asked if he should cuddle me or not so i said sure. He didnt try anything at all and when i turned over he said "oh you not go na cuddle me anymore) so i had to cuddle him again.
The following morning, still likely drunk he told me he was "in the mood" and i politley rejected the offer as i was haaanging so he got up and stumbled out of the house about 5/10 minutes later . He messaged me when he got home to say hed got in safe and we chatted a bit (me asking questions him giving straight answers as usual). He then attempted to intiate sexting again.
Having written it all out it seems clear to me now that yea hes just interested in sex (which contradicts his anti-timder comment) and is emotionaly or generaly unavailable. (For several reasons noted above) But hey advice anyway i guess..?
So, should i steer clear as im looking for relationship portential or just hang around slying for a bit still and keep it PG and hope for the best? Any cancer men out there who can relate to what hes doing/ what he could be thinking/feeling in regards to me?
Im no beleiver of the whole FWB thing and "he'll fall madly in love with me" so id rather steer clear of that because il be the one endIng up D whipped! Ha...
Basicaly, Im a leo woman (26 years) who has a crush on a cancer man (35 years). He happens to be one of my bosses.
So being a leo, i pursued him a bit by making the first out of work contact on FB a couple of months back asking to grab a coffe to wich he said that would be great. We had breif conversations for a bout a week but he never seemed to put much effort in actualy chatting (getting to know each other) and of course, we never went for that coffee and he seemed to brush off the other couple times i tried to see him on an out of work basis.. so... I left him alone after this assuming theres no interest.
At a work do, his best friend told him i liked him so sure enough once i was in the cab home i get a message from him after no contact for about a week asking if id got home safe. The converstation quickly turned into him initiating sexting wich isnt my cup of tea but i had a f*** it moment and went with it. ( first sexting experience!) This went on for a couple of days with him also showing just a tad more interest in getting to know me to. Realy just a tad though. He did however start messaging me everyday without me having to be the initiator. However, even with the "sexting" he never seemed keen on meeting up to do the deed itself. He was wuite happy taking care of himself. (He did have the opportunity to ask me round or come round mine.) So another week or so passed and i asked him what it was we were doing as we werent friends, we wernt having sex either and we were werent dating. He said he didnt want to date but wanted to build up trust with me and that he was wary due to our work situation. At this point i clarified i like liked him and not just for sex although sex would be great but not a priority. We agreed to be friends/ collegues watever....
I stopped contacting him except for work related stuff and of course never heard from him unless he was responding to my work queries. (Just like to add that at work he seems to look out for me quite a bit and i often catch him looking over my way but i cant say he makes any extra effort to be around me)
We often go for drinks after work with the rest of our team and iv noticed when he drInks he open up to me and we chat for hours. He has told me about his past relationships. The last night out was interesting as he said he was not over his ex-ex girlfriend, as in the girlfried before his last ex. I also found out through another collegue that hes on tinder but "hes sick of it as the girls arent serious".
Since i invited him to my birthday party and again we were chatting for hours and he crashed at mine.... in my bed.. he asked if he should cuddle me or not so i said sure. He didnt try anything at all and when i turned over he said "oh you not go na cuddle me anymore) so i had to cuddle him again.
The following morning, still likely drunk he told me he was "in the mood" and i politley rejected the offer as i was haaanging so he got up and stumbled out of the house about 5/10 minutes later . He messaged me when he got home to say hed got in safe and we chatted a bit (me asking questions him giving straight answers as usual). He then attempted to intiate sexting again.
Having written it all out it seems clear to me now that yea hes just interested in sex (which contradicts his anti-timder comment) and is emotionaly or generaly unavailable. (For several reasons noted above) But hey advice anyway i guess..?
So, should i steer clear as im looking for relationship portential or just hang around slying for a bit still and keep it PG and hope for the best? Any cancer men out there who can relate to what hes doing/ what he could be thinking/feeling in regards to me?
Im no beleiver of the whole FWB thing and "he'll fall madly in love with me" so id rather steer clear of that because il be the one endIng up D whipped! Ha...
