Kicked out and cut off - at the end of my rope

Carolinec20

Active member
Hi everyone. So I have a lot of questions. Last week I was kicked out of my home and cut off financially (however, I am in college and living on campus). I have been disowned. I have had depression, anxiety, and suicidal tendencies for years and this has now put me at the end of my rope. I have a disease called cystic fibrosis, and grew up in a volatile, abusive household. My mom was very unstable and I will leave it at that. I am having a hard time finding anything to look forward to. I feel like I will never marry, never have kids, just live my life poor and trapped and eventually die from my disease. I am losing hope.

So where am I going with this? I guess I'm hoping someone can tell me the positives in my chart. What do I have to look forward to down the road? What's going to happen to me?

http://alabe.com/cgi-bin/chart/astrobot.cgi?INPUT1=Lily&INPUT2=&MONTH=01&DAY=08&YEAR=1998&HOUR=1&MINUTE=10&AMPM=PM&TOWN=Bristol&COUNTRY=USA&STATE=CT&INPUT9=&Submit=Submit
http://www.astro.com/cgi/chart.cgi?btyp=w2gw;rs=3;usechpref=1&nhor=1&cid=e04fileKWGaJE-u1477355117

Those are my charts. Anything at all will help me. I just need to know astrologically that things will get better. Thank you.
 

tsmall

Premium Member
Carolinec20, you are going to want to post your astro chart as an attachment or thumbnail (directions found here: http://www.astrologyweekly.com/forum/showthread.php?t=12126) because the astro link to your chart is going to expire.

Please, be very careful in what you post further. We do have rules on the forum about members we fear may be considering taking their own lives. Your thread title is borderline. Your clarification though shows you are looking to learn astrology to find your way around. I think you are onto something, and there are members here who are willing to help.

Welcome to the AW forum.

Tamara
 

waybread

Well-known member
Lily, you don't mention why you were kicked out of your house. Granted, you've described Mom as unstable, but did you do something to trigger this reaction? Drugs? Money? Arguing? I'm not asking to be judgmental, but because it would help to get more of a "hook" on your problems.

Transiting Pluto hitting your sun is asking for big changes in how you understand your identity, or sense of self. Pluto metaphorically kills off parts of ourselves that are metaphorically dying-- but the purpose is so that new growth can take place. So this is a good time to let go of the hard parts of your past that might be keeping you stuck.

If your campus is of any size it will probably have on-site student counseling services. If so, this would also be a good time to make an appointment with a counselor to help heal your past and get yourself on a stable footing so that you can graduate and move on.
 

Carolinec20

Active member
Lily, you don't mention why you were kicked out of your house. Granted, you've described Mom as unstable, but did you do something to trigger this reaction? Drugs? Money? Arguing? I'm not asking to be judgmental, but because it would help to get more of a "hook" on your problems.

Transiting Pluto hitting your sun is asking for big changes in how you understand your identity, or sense of self. Pluto metaphorically kills off parts of ourselves that are metaphorically dying-- but the purpose is so that new growth can take place. So this is a good time to let go of the hard parts of your past that might be keeping you stuck.

If your campus is of any size it will probably have on-site student counseling services. If so, this would also be a good time to make an appointment with a counselor to help heal your past and get yourself on a stable footing so that you can graduate and move on.

I think that makes a lot of sense. My mom and I had gotten into an argument (trust me, I'm a bit of a goody goody, so no drugs, money issues, or alcohol). She kicked me out because I swore at her. We have been fighting for my entire life, and a lot of it stems from both her mental illness and abuse, but also from my genetic disease. I am also actively seeking out help, but I do understand how this thread appears very concerning. I think I've just been having an extremely hard time finding a silver lining. I'm just trying to find myself and the people that really care about me. Since I've been cut off financially, I have no way of receiving true therapy (which was my intention before I found out tonight that I do not have a cent to my name). However, I'm doing my best, and trying to navigate this very tough situation. I was hoping that perhaps astrologically, there were at least some very bright things in the future ahead, if not now.
 

RaRohini

Well-known member
Hi !

I feel very sorry for your situation. But take heart in the fact that all is for good only.
I recast your birth details in the vedic chart and can analyse as follows:
Moon conjunct Ascendant in Taurus Kritika the cutter in the first house of self. This star may have a theme of abandonment or foster homes. There is a 'need' to be abandoned,for you to understand the pain and help others later on. Taurus Kritika will do perfectly fine and it will shine its own light. They are expert critics and good at cutting and cooking.
Currently you are under Mars Dasha and Mars is a fighter. Your Mars is exalted in Capricorn Sravana.. the one who hears what is not being said. 'All is not what it seems'.. this is the lesson taught by Capricorn Sravana and under this Dasha ( until 22/02/2017), you can completely trust your instincts. They are very strong. Sometimes people who are harmful in that phase of life are removed by the Almighty. Similarly, people who are good for you right now will appear.After that is Rahu in Leo Purvaphalguni which loves to spread amusement and joy ! It rules festivals, amusement parks, holiday and leisure , games etc. It represents the start of spring.
Is it possible for you to try for a job now in the leisure industry? Airline ticketing perhaps? What is your area of study? Can you cook or bake from home?
Things are bound to improve after Feb 2017.
Can you work with your medical condition?
Do as your spirit wills ! God bless !
 
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waybread

Well-known member
Caroline, it is fairly common for people to post on an astrology forum when life looks really rough, and to ask when things are going to get better. I take a more existential view of astrology, because I think sometimes the tough episodes of our lives are our greatest teachers. In bottoming out or in screaming back at the universe despite the odds, we find our greatest strengths. It's best not to treat hard transits like being under water and hoping we can hold our breath until we can re-surface, without having learned anything from the process.

Sometimes life really and truly reeks. Our task then is to look deeply within ourselves, make useful corrections, and take stock of our strengths.

(And no, I don't have cystic fibrosis, but I have had things I wouldn't wish on my worst enemies, so I am sympathetic.)

First off, if you haven't done so already, I suggest you apologize to Mom. OK, so she's mentally unstable (as my mother increasingly was towards the end of her life,) but she's still your mother. If she's not ready to reconcile; well, at least you tried.

Then let's look at your astro-assets. You seem to have enormous powers of creative visualization that can help get you through the hard times. If you don't write in a journal or a sketchbook now, this is a good time to start, to manifest those images and daydreams that can give you a sense of release. You have a strong 9th house, so I am guessing you are a good enough student to enjoy most of your classes and finish up your degree. You might find a campus ministry or philosophy course or three that will activate your 9th house chimes.

And please, if you are at a campus of any size, it should have a counseling services office for students. If you are cut off from parental aid, you probably qualify for Medicaid and your campus probably has a health services clinic, as well. Explain your illness and predicaments, and see what they can do for you. If you suffer from depression and it hasn't been clinically diagnosed, it can be diagnosed and treated.

Saturn square Capricorn sun people often suffer from low self-esteem; yet they have staying-power and persistence to burn. Capricorn is like the mountain goat who finds the path to the top of the mountain, no matter how difficult it seems. With your Capricorn sun and Taurus moon, you know how to be eminently practical when you must be. They are strong and positive assets, as well.
 
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Carolinec20

Active member
Hi !

I feel very sorry for your situation. But take heart in the fact that all is for good only.
I recast your birth details in the vedic chart and can analyse as follows:
Moon conjunct Ascendant in Taurus Kritika the cutter in the first house of self. This star may have a theme of abandonment or foster homes. There is a 'need' to be abandoned,for you to understand the pain and help others later on. Taurus Kritika will do perfectly fine and it will shine its own light. They are expert critics and good at cutting and cooking.
Currently you are under Mars Dasha and Mars is a fighter. Your Mars is exalted in Capricorn Sravana.. the one who hears what is not being said. 'All is not what it seems'.. this is the lesson taught by Capricorn Sravana and under this Dasha ( until 22/02/2017), you can completely trust your instincts. They are very strong. Sometimes people who are harmful in that phase of life are removed by the Almighty. Similarly, people who are good for you right now will appear.After that is Rahu in Leo Purvaphalguni which loves to spread amusement and joy ! It rules festivals, amusement parks, holiday and leisure , games etc. It represents the start of spring.
Is it possible for you to try for a job now in the leisure industry? Airline ticketing perhaps? What is your area of study? Can you cook or bake from home?
Things are bound to improve after Feb 2017.
Can you work with your medical condition?
Do as your spirit wills ! God bless !

Caroline, it is fairly common for people to post on an astrology forum when life looks really rough, and to ask when things are going to get better. I take a more existential view of astrology, because I think sometimes the tough episodes of our lives are our greatest teachers. In bottoming out or in screaming back at the universe despite the odds, we find our greatest strengths. It's best not to treat hard transits like being under water and hoping we can hold our breath until we can re-surface, without having learned anything from the process.

Sometimes life really and truly reeks. Our task then is to look deeply within ourselves, make useful corrections, and take stock of our strengths.

(And no, I don't have cystic fibrosis, but I have had things I wouldn't wish on my worst enemies, so I am sympathetic.)

First off, if you haven't done so already, I suggest you apologize to Mom. OK, so she's mentally unstable (as my mother increasingly was towards the end of her life,) but she's still your mother. If she's not ready to reconcile; well, at least you tried.

Then let's look at your astro-assets. You seem to have enormous powers of creative visualization that can help get you through the hard times. If you don't write in a journal or a sketchbook now, this is a good time to start, to manifest those images and daydreams that can give you a sense of release. You have a strong 9th house, so I am guessing you are a good enough student to enjoy most of your classes and finish up your degree. You might find a campus ministry or philosophy course or three that will activate your 9th house chimes.

And please, if you are at a campus of any size, it should have a counseling services office for students. If you are cut off from parental aid, you probably qualify for Medicaid and your campus probably has a health services clinic, as well. Explain your illness and predicaments, and see what they can do for you. If you suffer from depression and it hasn't been clinically diagnosed, it can be diagnosed and treated.

Saturn square Capricorn sun people often suffer from low self-esteem; yet they have staying-power and persistence to burn. Capricorn is like the mountain goat who finds the path to the top of the mountain, no matter how difficult it seems. With your Capricorn sun and Taurus moon, you know how to be eminently practical when you must be. They are strong and positive assets, as well.

I think there's a lot of truth to what you've said (yet again), both of you. I really appreciate you guys taking the time to reply. I have actually begun writing my book, which is a memoir/autobiography. I am also in a philosophy class, meeting some really kind and genuine people, and just pushing onward. So you guys both said things that are actually happening (so cool)! Waybread, as for the last paragraph you wrote, I felt that hard. My self-esteem is something I have struggled with a long time, and although sometimes I try to give up, I always find myself moving forward. Even when I don't know why. I've also talked to my RA about therapy and am taking actions to seek out everything/anything that is available. Lastly, the enormous amounts of creative visualization power... that is right on the money. I have always had extremely vivid dreams and even lucid dream on occasion.

Anyways, thank you for all the insight. It feels like things are looking up.
 

waybread

Well-known member
Thanks so much for the feedback. It is how we learn astrology.

Re: Saturn square sun in Capricorn. I don't know if you can objectively detach, but please realize that there is little that is objectively wrong with you as a personal identity-- it's just that people with this placement tend to be hard-wired to believe that there is. But underneath the self-doubt is the capacity to be sure-footed, adventuresome, ambitious, and making it to the mountain top.
 

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