The most important relationship in my life so far - to be or not to be?

*ignore this post*

Okay, so I am blue and he is red.

It was the most transforming relationship of our lives, but we started to diverge some while ago, mainly because of me. The moon conjunct NN in the composite always brought the feel that the relationship feels a bit intimidating but "right", however the overabundance of Sagittarius/9th house planets has brought the feeling that this relationship is more like a friendship and not truly romantic. Moreover, the difference of elements of both charts (Air/Earth for blue and Water/Fire for red) pulls us back from understanding the core of each other. Although communication should be good and challenging (Merc square Merc), there is always the feeling that I understand him better than he does me. Why is that?

Anything that would suggest what would happen to the relationship in the future? Anything that would suggest it is "meant" or not "meant" to be, apart from the one NN aspect in synastry?

I am currently trying to decipher relational astrology, so any comments or links to websites/books would be deeply appreciated!

Thank you all, you are a wonderful community!