Is this why people misunderstand me/find it hard to get to know me at all?

UraSatVen1029

UraSatVen1029

Well-known member
Talaria said:
My Ascendant is 22 Sagittarius, so I had transiting Pluto conjunct my Ascendant about 15 years ago. My 2nd House cusp is 29 Capricorn, so Pluto's still got another 5 years or so of transiting my 1st House. The growth has been amazing this entire time, and I have a much better understanding of myself. It can help you with spirituality and creativity too, because you get really interested in mysteries, secrets and introspective things. It also brings out your dark, catty side. ;-D With your strong Scorpio influence, I imagine transiting Pluto in the 1st will feel very comfortable for you, once you get used to it.



You're lucky that you have strong 10th and 1st Houses to balance those contradictions out. My Ascendant ruler is in the 12th, Pluto and Saturn are conjunct in my 10th, and my Sun/Mercury conjunction is in Pisces, so I have more "hide" than "show." I haven't found a truly effective way to express what I want to express.

One other thing I want to mention: watch out for medical malpractice! You have a wide orb on your Sun/Mercury-square-Neptune (mine was only 7') but it can still cause serious issues with fraud and deception (Neptune) afflicting your vitality (Sun) especially if it involves the mind or communication errors (Mercury). That aspect has manifested for me in a variety of ways but the health problems and resulting malpractice were the worst. So requests paper copies of any serious medical records, do your own research, get second opinions and just generally be careful.



I've had a similar problem with Mars. My Mars is almost 7 degrees from a Jupiter trine and otherwise sitting by itself in Aries in my 4th, and it's my 4th House ruler. So I have a really hard time connecting Mars to any other area of my life. It's like my Mars is absent sometimes. I have a hard time sustaining interest in my passions and when I get angry I usually rage alone.

Like you said, it's important to try and find positive outlets for any energy in a chart, especially darker energies like Pluto, Mars and Saturn. But I think the biggest problem with being misunderstood is that you can't control other people. They see what they see, not what you show them. So you can be an open book all you want and they'll still misinterpret what they read, if they bother to read you at all. What helps me handle that is reminding myself that no one is obligated to read me, but the people who do are capable of a profound connection. The handful of people who can figure me out have formed bonds with me that are insanely beautiful and deep in a way that defies description.
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Transit pluto in 1st house & conjunct ascendant for me was really just very similar to how I handled being depressed and introspective my whole life basically-- except this time it was more intense and very direct. Very "in-your-face" kind of thing and It just felt like if I still kept resisting it was really going to kill me lol. Changes are more evident now, especially how I view the outside world now. Since Cap rules 10th house, it was really the time for me to be more clear with my true and real goals that I had ever since I was a little girl, it was like resurrecting a childhood dream I buried within me for so many years now. Saturn trines my North Node by 1 degree or less. I hope what I'm praying for is just in line with soul progress and my soul path :)

You're right... why didn't I think of that earlier. We really can't control what other people will see in ourselves. We all have different perspectives, views and etc. What's more important is really just the acceptance of your own self and being at peace with it... Unfortunately, I have yet to find one person who can really understand me. I know it sounds really pessimistic and bad to say that not even my family is able to understand what I really am and what I really want, but it is true. I can't wait though, to meet these beautiful people :)

My Saturn is in Aries at 29 degrees. Man. Ruled by Mars, which btw, is lacking and weak in my natal chart. I hope his trine with North Node can still help me in this lifetime.
 
Z

ZoraEos

Well-known member
UraSatVen1029 said:
Hi! Thank you so much for the reply! I know there's a lot of us Neptune 1st house people who feel this way, but for someone to also give some feedback and share their story with me actually touches me. All my life I've always wanted to connect to people who're like me and had more or less the same experiences as I did, because if I actually did (in real life) I would definitely treasure them :)

And hey, we both have 8th house NN too! I feel that its a complex nodal placement and definitely intense/scary, but powerful nonetheless.

Speaking of internal conflicts concerning our ego, identity, sensitivity issues and our relationships with different people, I never really understood why someone with a natal chart like mine has the BIGGEST urge to perform onstage and get recognition for creative talents. I mean, for my tropical chart, yeah, it's so weird but for my sidereal, I can understand it more. Your moon in Taurus and Mars in Leo is what I really want for myself so that it could help me better with performing! Haha, but oh well, I guess I was born with Moon Aquarius and Mars Virgo for a reason. :)

You ever get jealous-- even just a little bit-- on people who were able to maintain meaningful friendships? Bonds? I know I do.

Btw! How was your Transit Pluto conjunct Ascendant experience? We both have 20-21 degrees Capricorn ascendant, and Pluto started hitting it since last year. I hope Pluto empowered you? :)
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Hi! I'm so sorry for replying so late, I haven't been on in a while! But yes, it's definitely ultra refreshing for me too to meet someone with a similar chart! :D

Yes, the 8th house NN is intense! From what I've read, it's greatly about developing self-control and discipline; which, when paired with our capricorn rising, to me seems to be demanding an ultra-disciplined life. Then, when paired with the intensity of our scorpio sun in that matter O_O. I think it has most expressed itself in the academic and career aspect of my life so far, because I have always had to be a very disciplined and careful student, and have been very intense about that - achieving success, yes, but at great stress and strain. I have never really had freedom to indulge in things without worry. I have also had "the soaring flight, then crash and burn, only to rise again" thing happen to me as a student (burning out after achieving a lot in a rigorous high school program, crashing a bit in freshman year of uni, only to rise again after that and back on an excellent path now in my final year of bachelor's). Essentially, it's a ride of psychological transformation and expansion. What about you? Where does it express itself for you?

Yes, the thing about wanting to be onstage! I have experienced that too and been perplexed by it because it's like there's this paradox - "Hmm, I am uncomfortable with attention, but I want attention badly.." O_O But you're right about the Taurus Moon and Leo Mars helping me with it - For someone so typically shy/quiet and socially awkward, I am great at presenting in front of people and actually enjoy it. :D Sometimes when I'm alone in my room, I pretend I'm on stage and speaking to an audience *facepalm*.

Yes, I do get jealous of people who can bond so easily. :( Lately, I've been getting sad that I have no close friendships. For example, during this last month, I achieved so much at uni, and did not have a close friend to share it with. Had no close friends to hang out with on my birthday this year either. :/ I don't know, I guess one day I'll make a close friend or meet a soulmate - just one person would be enough for me.

Yes, the Pluto conjunct ascendant really did empower me! This last year was amazing in terms of my identity and growth! I found my calling and had so many great opportunities and experiences with it. :)
 
UraSatVen1029

UraSatVen1029

Well-known member
ZoraEos said:
Hi! I'm so sorry for replying so late, I haven't been on in a while! But yes, it's definitely ultra refreshing for me too to meet someone with a similar chart! :D

Yes, the 8th house NN is intense! From what I've read, it's greatly about developing self-control and discipline; which, when paired with our capricorn rising, to me seems to be demanding an ultra-disciplined life. Then, when paired with the intensity of our scorpio sun in that matter O_O. I think it has most expressed itself in the academic and career aspect of my life so far, because I have always had to be a very disciplined and careful student, and have been very intense about that - achieving success, yes, but at great stress and strain. I have never really had freedom to indulge in things without worry. I have also had "the soaring flight, then crash and burn, only to rise again" thing happen to me as a student (burning out after achieving a lot in a rigorous high school program, crashing a bit in freshman year of uni, only to rise again after that and back on an excellent path now in my final year of bachelor's). Essentially, it's a ride of psychological transformation and expansion. What about you? Where does it express itself for you?

Yes, the thing about wanting to be onstage! I have experienced that too and been perplexed by it because it's like there's this paradox - "Hmm, I am uncomfortable with attention, but I want attention badly.." O_O But you're right about the Taurus Moon and Leo Mars helping me with it - For someone so typically shy/quiet and socially awkward, I am great at presenting in front of people and actually enjoy it. :D Sometimes when I'm alone in my room, I pretend I'm on stage and speaking to an audience *facepalm*.

Yes, I do get jealous of people who can bond so easily. :( Lately, I've been getting sad that I have no close friendships. For example, during this last month, I achieved so much at uni, and did not have a close friend to share it with. Had no close friends to hang out with on my birthday this year either. :/ I don't know, I guess one day I'll make a close friend or meet a soulmate - just one person would be enough for me.

Yes, the Pluto conjunct ascendant really did empower me! This last year was amazing in terms of my identity and growth! I found my calling and had so many great opportunities and experiences with it. :)
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Holy cow-- I feel like you and I would be great friends if we ever meet personally. You described everything what I really feel and that makes you very relatable to me :D

Well, we do have the same ascendant, NN placement, sun and some other stuff. So of course!

I cannot help but giggle when you said you act like you're onstage when you're alone-- I do that too. A lot. Don't worry haha! I can only wish I was THAT comfortable with a lot of people looking back at me, wew. I perform a lot in school and in events, and I'm still a wreck lol. My parents cannot understand this because I've been onstage since I was really young and I still go through anxiety and erratic nervous tension hahaha. Although I still manage to do well, but it confuses people to no end, because I'm an entirely different person when I'm not onstage anymore.

I too, cannot indulge myself without worrying as well. It's really something that us Cap risings have to deal with... 8th house NN-- let me just say, "IKR?!"

I can say that I feel the same things that you do towards that NN-- except mine is really about sharing my creative talent and transforming myself to be that Leo (Leo NN)-- the one who eagerly embraces his passion and warmth, and generously share that light to an audience. Exactly why I have to overcome this shyness- or at least control it. Because I have the yearning to do it, but I lack the courage to push myself to it. Most of the time, I find myself to be in groups of talented people, and I have the tendency to let other people shine, even when I see the chance of myself stepping forward to shine as well. But my shyness is like, "Nah, maybe this other fella could use it." And this frustrates my parents because they know I had it in me, but I refuse to acknowledge it lol. See why i said that I actually want that Mars Leo of yours? Hahahaha

It is a ride of contstant transformation. Also constant change and letting go too. Friendships have been very painful and joyful for me. The joy of meeting friends who mean the world to you, and then the pain of having to let go of them once they have to leave. It was really hard for me to do that in the past. I always wished I had more friends and squads, but now I'm happy with just one or two, and I'm also not opposed to them leaving in the future too. I've learned to accept that it really is the nature of Life. What ceases to be important to your growth has to be removed, because its stagnant for you. (nn 8th house and sn 2nd house).

So glad to hear Pluto has been rewarding for you!! Pluto is definitely my bestfriend now! It was reaaalllyy painful but gosh, I really needed that and I couldn't be more thankful. The transit is something I will never forget, not a lot of people get to experience this powerful transformation, so I consider us lucky ;)

Don't be sad about not having close friends. I went through that phase too, just having NO ONE that close. Really. I felt so empty and depressed in that phase too, its like I couldn't ever confide to someone, not even my own family, I had to keep it all to myself and just tolerate the pain. But it's one of the experiences that helped me to be stronger. I'd be happy to be your friend! That's if you want hahaha! Give youself some time and let loose. You'll find someone who'll be there for you, I'm sure of it :)

Oh and, it's just a suggestion, and that also depends if you actually don't mind spending time alone, but give yourself some space too. Actually, for my bday tomorrow I wanted a day all to myself only! Just go out and do things alone, be alone and have fun with myself. But errr I have friends from another school who wanted to see me so, I'm saving that idea for next year xD It can be very therapeutic to for introverted people like me to enjoy thungs on my own as a way of regenerating myself. Hope it could be for you as well :)
 
Z

ZoraEos

Well-known member
Sorry it's taken me so long to respond again! School :p

I just sent you a friend request on here. :)

That's so interesting how the Leo sign of your North Node expresses itself through aspirations for sharing creative talent, such as in theatre. Who knows? Maybe you're on a path to overcome your shyness completely in order to become a star or celebrity, such as on Broadway or in movies! :D Or if you're into music instead, a singer or musician. :) That's really cool!

Mine is a Libra North Node - which makes sense because I do study Anthropology and International Affairs at university, so I see it as me overcoming my shyness in order to work with people or in government.

And thank you for your kind and insightful words about how to deal with the 8th house nn's transformation phases. I definitely need to figure out how to let go of things more, that are stagnant for growth like you said.

Also, thank you for your kind words that I will develop close friendships someday. :) And yes, I love and need alone time, especially to regenerate! I did end up doing that on my birthday, but then hung out with some classmates briefly too and some classmates. It was a nice day, I must say. I hope yours was great too!

Anyways, not to clog up your thread anymore! :p Feel free to message me whenever on here! Especially whenever you want someone to check out your chart or horoscope and nobody responds on the forum, in those instances, feel free to send them to me and I'll check it for sure! :D
 
UraSatVen1029

UraSatVen1029

Well-known member
ZoraEos said:
Sorry it's taken me so long to respond again! School :p

I just sent you a friend request on here. :)

That's so interesting how the Leo sign of your North Node expresses itself through aspirations for sharing creative talent, such as in theatre. Who knows? Maybe you're on a path to overcome your shyness completely in order to become a star or celebrity, such as on Broadway or in movies! :D Or if you're into music instead, a singer or musician. :) That's really cool!

Mine is a Libra North Node - which makes sense because I do study Anthropology and International Affairs at university, so I see it as me overcoming my shyness in order to work with people or in government.

And thank you for your kind and insightful words about how to deal with the 8th house nn's transformation phases. I definitely need to figure out how to let go of things more, that are stagnant for growth like you said.

Also, thank you for your kind words that I will develop close friendships someday. :) And yes, I love and need alone time, especially to regenerate! I did end up doing that on my birthday, but then hung out with some classmates briefly too and some classmates. It was a nice day, I must say. I hope yours was great too!

Anyways, not to clog up your thread anymore! :p Feel free to message me whenever on here! Especially whenever you want someone to check out your chart or horoscope and nobody responds on the forum, in those instances, feel free to send them to me and I'll check it for sure! :D
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Pfft, i don't mind anyone clogging up my threads. I love reading responses tbh :D

My bday was great! And also for the fact that Jupiter is hitting my personal planets now, I just feel so light and positive. I wish I could stay this way forever :)

Actually, I'm an aspiring musician/music artist. It's hard and a challenge because lol not everyone with music talent gets to be successful. But who knows? :) Your goal is very admirable. To work with people and with the government sounds tough because you gotta be charismatic, people-oriented, brave and also patient. So good luck with conquering your shyness!! If you can set your mind to it, then there's no doubt you can do it :)

Maybe I'll PM you soon. Oh and thanks for the friend request!
 
K

kshantaram

Premium Member
hope observations enable temperamental reflections etc and adapt : reposted,
do care to share feedbacks how true-untrue-insightful-useful etc,

wishing well, kshantaram


kshantaram said:
asc lord sat retro debilated aries, aptitude for social service,
sat aries elevated aspect over libra 10th for career-recognition;

sat retro towards jup pisces 2nd, earnings in distant lands,
economic attitude;
retro sat pisces opp mars virgo, stress-struggle in finances-family;

jup own spiritual pisces 2nd with sat,
teaching-advisory-banking-economics aptitudes;


moon-ketu mystic acq airy, uncertain, reformist,
teaching-counseling aptitudes;

moon-ketu south separative node acq,
pain-injury-surgery throat-teeth-lower legs-lungs-sciatica,
and detachment from family-finances;
ketu now transit moon-ketu acq coming 1.5yr to care;

sat-moon lords 1/7 over acq-aries 3/11, unfriendly signs,
merely dutiful in a relationship/marriage,
while ketu tends to be separative;

moon-rahu opp, rise-fall in life; calls for ancestor worship,
observe fast on No-moon days taking milk-fruits;
rahu leo 8th prone to toxic urological health issues;

rahu now transit natal rahu leo;
high self-pride, individualistic, hyper-sensitive;

dark secretive scorpio inimical-malefic for cap asc,
stress-delays in career-recognition-income-gains;

sun-mer-venus scorpio research-occult-forensic-alchemy aptitudes;
secretive, suspicious, sentimental, passionate;
research management in govt institutes;

mer-venus lords 5/9/10 over 10th/11th inimical scorpio luck-prosperity-gains
under stress-delay; while prone to urological-skin health issues;
jup pisces trine aspect scorpio supportive and protective;



jup now transit sun-mer-venus inimical scorpio career dev,
but under stress-delay;
jup effective mid-course come jan-april 018 to watch.
trine jup own pisces 2nd supportive of family-finances,
trine elevated aspect cancer 7th
supportive of marriage-relationship-business/vocation;


11th lord mars over critical virgo 8th, prone to sudden losses to care;

mars virgo critical attitude good for audit-quality control-investigation;
accident prone; urological-intestinal inflammations;

mars aspect own aries 3rd, good for initiative-progressive;
while affects health of siblings and sibling relationships;

cap asc, ambitious, hardworking, practical, event management;
sat 5-7 m later moves to own cap coming 2.5yrs;
sat cap elevated aspect over libra 10th for career-recognition-success;


mer lord 9th, settling at 32+,
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UraSatVen1029

UraSatVen1029

Well-known member
kshantaram said:
hope observations enable reflections and adapt : reposted,
do care to share feedbacks how true-untrue-insightful-useful etc,

wishing well, kshantaram


kshantaram said:
asc lord sat retro debilated aries, aptitude for social service,
sat aries elevated aspect over libra 10th for career-recognition;

sat retro towards jup pisces 2nd, earnings from distant lands,
economic attitude;
retro sat pisces opp mars virgo, stress-struggle in finances-family;

jup own spiritual pisces 2nd with sat,
teaching-advisory-banking-economics aptitudes;


moon-ketu mystic acq airy, uncertain, reformist,
teaching-counseling aptitudes;

moon-ketu south separative node acq,
pain-injury-surgery throat-teeth-lower legs-lungs-sciatica,
and detachment from family-finances;
ketu now transit moon-ketu acq coming 1.5yr to care;

sat-moon lords 1/7 over acq-aries 3/11, unfriendly signs,
merely dutiful in a relationship/marriage,
while ketu tends to be separative;

moon-rahu opp, rise-fall in life; calls for ancestor worship,
observe fast on No-moon days taking milk-fruits;
rahu leo 8th prone to toxic urological health issues;

rahu now transit natal rahu leo;
high self-pride, individualistic, hyper-sensitive;

dark secretive scorpio inimical-malefic for cap asc,
stress-delays in career-recognition-income-gains;

sun-mer-venus scorpio research-occult-forensic-alchemy aptitudes;
secretive, suspicious, sentimental, passionate;
research management in govt institutes;

mer-venus lords 5/9/10 over 10th/11th inimical scorpio luck-prosperity-gains
under stress-delay; while prone to urological-skin health issues;
jup pisces trine aspect scorpio supportive and protective;


jup now transit sun-mer-venus inimical scorpio career dev,
but under stress-delay;
trine jup own pisces 2nd supportive of family-finances,
trine elevated aspect cancer 7th supportive of marriage-relationship-business/vocation;


11th lord mars over critical virgo 8th, prone to sudden losses to care;

mars virgo critical attitude good for audit-quality control-investigation;
accident prone; urological-intestinal inflammations;

mars aspect own aries 3rd, good for initiative-progressive;
while affects health of siblings and sibling relationships;

cap asc, ambitious, hardworking, practical, event management;
sat 5-7 m later moves to own cap coming 2.5yrs;
sat cap elevated aspect over libra 10th for career-recognition-success;


mer lord 9th, settling at 32+,
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You mentioned Jupiter transit over my Sun Mercury and Venus, but is is under stress. Why is that so?

Jupiter transit has only made me feel light and optimistic. Yet with sun and venus in my 10th house, i see no career opportunity or progress yet. So I guess that makes sense. But can you explain why its under stress?

And the earnings from distant lands, does this suggest that i could earn from other countries or from other far away places from my home land?

Hmmm, the urological health issues worry me a lot. The moon Ketu aspect-- with being detached with finances, is true. I feel this nowadays. But to family? Nah, not really.
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