I'm still learning about light and darkness because I recognize a darkness in myself. I've been contemplating lately if I need to expel it from myself, or if instead, the being I'm supposed to become will have control of both light and dark forces calling upon both when necessary and in the ways that are warranted
Last full moon really brought out the beast in me. I would truly call that energy bestial and primal. It was very dark and I carried something destructive with me for a few days. I talked with some psychic friend who told me they definitely felt like the veil had thinned. Spirits were very active that during that full moon. I took it as a test and I was able to feel that dark energy and not act on it, but control and channel it. Not to get all NSFW, but those nights will be the absolute best ones for sex. I stg, I could've gone all night long with some incredibly intense sex!
But alas, I'm holding out for my soulmate. I know who she is, the time just isn't right
As far as soul ages, I haven't the slightest clue how old my soul is. And really, I believe we're all from a myriad of places around the cosmos and we all could be millions... billions... trillions of years old. But that's just my belief system
I will say I thought about death intensively from as far back as I can remember. As a small, small little bean I was fascinated with death as well as many 'macabre' subjects in general. and of course, I've had my myriad of near death experiences including as a baby
I think regardless of whether we'd be considered mature of old souls, we can feel our soul's grander truths, our inner guidance, intuition leading us
I will say sometimes I'm very inclined to feel tired and exasperated and especially feeling misplaced in this world, but if I feel things like that, I reframe my mind. I try to remember the childlike wonder I've had in me, my intense curiosity, my raw desire to experience and explore and discover. A part of me is like an ancient soul looking over the entire universe, and the other part of me is like an eternal child. I prefer the child, but the ancient soul has her place as well
Btw, one thing I've learned over just the past 2 months is that we can transform ourselves into whatever we want to. This world makes us think we have to struggle through self limiting beliefs, anxieties, addictions, and whatever other things are holding us back, but it's as easy as realizing that we're the only ones who can give these things power over us. When I finally broke ties with my addiction once and for all, it was as easy as taking that power in one swift, effortless move. They'll tell us that once you're an addict, you're always an addict, but that's not true. We're not stuck with anything, we can change anything and become whoever we need to be
We can release lifelong anxieties and selflimiting beliefs in days, maybe weeks, but it never has to be years unless we choose to let it linger there for years. I wish I'd known that before because then I would've realized all of what plagued me I could've dropped a long time ago, but I suppose I had to struggle through it all to finally see through the illusion
As far as writing. Thank you for that compliment on my style
I appreciate that. I'm very much shifting gears atm. I'll always be a writer and especially a poet, but there are also other things I want to do. I know I talked about them already. I'm veering into music and also pushing the boundaries of language to the point of reaching down to the core and creating something new
I'm not at all sure what I'm gonna be. Things are gonna be changing a lot for me this next year because I've finally reached the point where I'm ready to turn myself into who I want to be and do the things I've always wanted to
I realize I have a throat chakra block. I need to clear it. I'll be using my voice a lot more in my life as I move forward and it'll play a major role for me I believe. I'm not a gifted orator at all, but I think I have the potential at least. Just like you have the potential to be the writer you want to be
Looking at the soul types, I relate to them all actually. I'd say I'm every soul type