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Horary Questions on Medicine and health For questions about health, illnesses and recovery, pregnancy and baby gender.


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  #1  
Unread 01-15-2013, 11:26 AM
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Exclamation Broke up and I am pregnant..I need some help

The story is quite complicated since I have several issues to address in order to take any peacefull decision.
First is that we broke up 2 weeks ago, after a 3-year relationship, with my own decision cause we are not getting along with each other harmoniously (many quarrels, hysteric crises of him).
Second, it seems that I may soon have a career advancement.
Third, I am 37 years old (reason for keeping the baby) and uncertain of how long needs to find someone in the future to have a nice loving family.
If I keep it, I will raise it on my own and I am also worried about complications with angry outbursts of him in its upbringing.
So I could not help but asking is ' SHOULD I Keep the baby? ' in terms of bringing happiness to his life and mine.
The chart has a Mars on the ASC (conflicts)
Ruler Saturn is on 9th which shows my crisis of judgement and thinking.
The baby is Mercury in Capricorn but combust by Sun. What does this mean? (he doesnot know it yet-and if I decide to get an abortion he will never find out)
The chart must be radical, also my lot of children in my natal chart is 22 deg. Gemini in 5th house of this chart.
Can you help me>?
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Unread 01-15-2013, 02:51 PM
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Re: Broke up and I am pregnant..I need some help

It looks like a no. I get the feeling from the chart that you've already decided on a no. The baby is combust in the 8th house. (Turned 8th)

But on a personal level, this is a decision you need to make regardless of the answers given here. It's difficult if you feel like this might be the last chance, but at the same time, he is the wrong guy. If I were in the situation, I would probably not keep it because its the wrong guy and that would be torture for me and the baby. I was the baby in a similar scenario and I wish other options were available to my mom. It would have been better if she had not had me.

Last edited by appleberry; 01-15-2013 at 06:39 PM.
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Unread 01-15-2013, 05:21 PM
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Re: Broke up and I am pregnant..I need some help

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Originally Posted by appleberry View Post
It looks like a no. I get the feeling from the chart that you've already decided on a no. The baby is combust in the 8th house.

But on a personal level, this is a decision you need to make regardless of the answers given here. It's difficult if you feel like this might be the last chance, but at the same time, he is the wrong guy. If I were in the situation, I would probably not keep it because its the wrong guy and that would be torture for me and the baby. I was the baby in a similar scenario and I wish other options were available to my mom. It would have been better if she had not had me.
Hi Appleberry, I appreciate very much your opinion since you are speaking from a similar situation even thouhg we cant compare men since we both dont know them. I am sorry you are saying this for your self.
I behave like a no... I know at the end that I will be responsible of my decision. I hope that I will take it in a peacefull mind. Thanks a lot!
I was wondering for the moon making aspects...
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Last edited by Fem Greek; 01-15-2013 at 05:30 PM.
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Unread 01-15-2013, 06:16 PM
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Re: Broke up and I am pregnant..I need some help

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Originally Posted by appleberry View Post
It looks like a no. I get the feeling from the chart that you've already decided on a no. The baby is combust in the 8th house.
The significator for the baby is combust, in the 12th, I believe, and makes no aspect with your significator, Saturn. We do see how strongly you feel about the baby, with Mercury being in the sign that Saturn rules.

Regarding the aspect that the Moon makes, it does in fact apply to a sextile with Mercury. But I suspect that this by itself would not likely override the lack of aspect between Saturn and Mercury, or Mercury's combust status.

I have to agree with appleberry. It looks like it may not be in the best interest of the baby to keep it.
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Unread 01-15-2013, 06:43 PM
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Re: Broke up and I am pregnant..I need some help

It's my own belief that the soul comes back when the body is ready. I feel like if you don't have this baby, the soul will wait and return for when you are ready. It's my belief though. Don't feel that I am pushing it on you. Only you know the best thing to do.
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Unread 01-15-2013, 10:50 PM
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Re: Broke up and I am pregnant..I need some help

Ilene appreciate your response
after your thought I search on the web for sabian symbols and the moon in
11-12 deg Pisces

In The Sanctuary Of An Occult Brotherhood, Newly Initiated Members Are Being Examined And Their Character Tested

Weird? is this a message for me, moon rules my health sector, every day life and working conditions.
Make me assume that probably there is a chance for me in the future, since mercury is a planet that can be retrograde more often than others.
Appleberry, thanks for good words of you.
I am trying to release stress and the higher meanings help me.
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Unread 01-17-2013, 04:00 AM
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Re: Broke up and I am pregnant..I need some help

I know MANY women who've had abortions and not a single one regrets it. They are good friends and have had abortions for many different reasons, but years after they still say they made the right decision. One is extremely religious and was raped. She does not regret. Don't be emotionally manipulated by religious bullies! Do whatever you think is right for your unique situation. Go to a prochoice forum and read stories from women who gone through the procedure. Ask questions....

I'm very saddened by the previous comment. It's not right to push ones beliefs on another person.

Last edited by appleberry; 01-17-2013 at 04:54 AM.
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Unread 01-17-2013, 08:17 AM
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Re: Broke up and I am pregnant..I need some help

I do not like the fact that Mercury is combust and in 12th. The baby is under some stress, hidden - as its combust and because its in the hidden 12th. As appleberry noticed, its also in its own 8th house. It doesn't look good for baby's survival. Something regarding the baby is unknown at the moment. With Mars angular, there is risk for some complications with this pregnancy. Mars can represent aggressions, conflict, but also cutting - surgery.

Mars rules the 9th here and your ruler is placed there with mutual reception and being in each other's house - its has some strong meaning here... 9th is the house of spirituality, God, knowledge, higher power, special journeys but also learned people such as doctors. Mars also rules your 2nd of finances and self value. Even though with Mars being so prominent, its suggests surgery, its also rules the above 9th house functions. 9th house is important here somehow, and you may want to consider and reflect on the aspects of the 9th.

You need to consider the pros and cons and whether the pros outweigh the cons. I do not see you being overly emotional about the baby, judging by the receptions in the chart. Moon/Mercury are in detriment of each other, however Mercury is in dignities of Saturn, and Saturn is not returning that favour.

I think decisions to keep the baby or terminate it, is your and yours alone. It is a huge life changing decision that is a very joyous moment to most women (and men).

I hope all the best for you and hope you make the right decision
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  #9  
Unread 01-17-2013, 08:45 AM
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Re: Broke up and I am pregnant..I need some help

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Originally Posted by appleberry View Post
I know MANY women who've had abortions and not a single one regrets it. They are good friends and have had abortions for many different reasons, but years after they still say they made the right decision. One is extremely religious and was raped. She does not regret. Don't be emotionally manipulated by religious bullies! Do whatever you think is right for your unique situation. Go to a prochoice forum and read stories from women who gone through the procedure. Ask questions....

I'm very saddened by the previous comment. It's not right to push ones beliefs on another person.
As someone who's not a religious fanatic and who has had an abortion of her own, I think the principle thing to consider is your desire to have a baby (any baby) during your lifetime and your current reproductive state.

My yoga teacher, a Harvard graduate, smart woman, decided to have abortion at age 34 because it was concurrent with her divorce. She has been trying to have fertility treatments, in vitro, up to the tens of thousand dollars, and her conception attempt failed. She's not concerned about this anymore, but she said that she would be one of those women who always wanted a baby in a perfect situation but will probably never have her own. She's in her mid-40's now.

Another girlfriend who's 50, has had multiple abortions up until 33, because her boyfriend thought it was too early and they were not successful enough (both artists). When she was approaching 40, she broke up with that boyfriend and did an art project asking volunteer sperm donors. Her attempt with a willing donor-turned-torrid-lover failed twice, and I think it's the most profound regret that she has ever had in her life. She said that once upon a time, over-fertility made her take conception for granted, which she would have never had had she known about it.

In terms of my yoga teacher, she said that she trained too hard, almost like an Olympic athlete, and it's only when she had a Chinese fertility doctor that she realized, too late, that she was doing things detrimental to her reproductive systems.

It's a very tormenting situation, I know, I was in the same situation when I was in my early twenties, but once I made the decision to get an abortion, I was so relieved, my world became lighter. I've also become ultra-paranoid about unwanted pregnancies...

I just want to present these counter-examples to illustrate that if you are able to face the consequences without flinching, then do it, but the risk is there... Good luck.
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Unread 01-17-2013, 08:59 AM
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Re: Broke up and I am pregnant..I need some help

You are Saturn placed in the 9th (the house of liberation) in the sign of Scorpio (great and radical transformation), aspecting by trigone the Moon in the 1st (significant here for your pregnancy - moon = fertility, mother, being a mother and so on), and also aspecting by trigone the nebulous Neptun in the sign of Pisces, showing your anxiety or trouble of "should I, or should I not...".

The ruler of the Baby, your child, is Mercury, sitting in the 12th (still not yet accomplishing, but you have to wait ... that's without doubt the time of the whole pregnancy) and in the sign of Capricorn, wich is the sign of realization.
Mercury, as he always do, is near the sun - the father, I think so. But actually you feel this father to be your enemy and you have probably the actual tendency to project your anger about the father to this unborn child, who is also a part of yourself.

I see also that in the 5th you have Lilith which shows for me, that you want and that you don't want this baby. It could be a typical sentiment for pregnant women to have desires and their opposite in the same time.

In your case, before engaging anything, I'd have a look on your natal chart and study the sector of childs. Also you could reflect on all affections what a child gives to its parents. And yes - and that is only my opinion - in such a case, I am not sure that only the woman can take the decision for her only, what to do, she has certainly the power on this new life, but is it legitim ? In my opinion, the father has to know and to be together with your decision. You do not even know, what you are thinking about your action after you did the irreparable - are you strong enough to admit it always in your life? A human being is not an object, you know it, and a child is always transforming your future and gives a new direction to your life- why not ?

Hopefully
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Unread 01-17-2013, 09:00 AM
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Re: Broke up and I am pregnant..I need some help

Once you make the decision, regardless of its consequences, I think you will feel much calmer. For that reason, it is better if you give yourself a "deadline" for decisions. If you are not sure, you could always disappear from your usual circle, change cities, or mention that you got involved with someone else while you were with your ex.

You can decide to tell the child about the identity of the father years later, when everybody has moved on, if you think that is necessary.

If abortion, of course, you should get the opinion of your physician, and if safe to proceed, do it as soon as possible. The earlier, the less damage to the body and the reproductive system.

Whatever you decide will be the right and good decision. Best of luck.
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Unread 01-17-2013, 09:12 AM
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Re: Broke up and I am pregnant..I need some help

.... and about the actual square of the two malefics, Mars and Saturn ... Mars, as I see it, is in your 12th and on your ASC, in the sign of Aquarius. This is an air sign, so Mars could mean your willing for acting, but also an agressively thinking about this subject, and also your anger in the moment for your future. Or, as Mars is in square with Saturn, the braker, it could also mean a warning to act like you are thinking about.

Sunny
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Unread 01-17-2013, 06:12 PM
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Re: Broke up and I am pregnant..I need some help

Thank you all from my heart for horary techniques and personal approaches.
Probably there is something I don't know. Tommorow I will go to my gynecologist for a second visit to determine exactly the situation (in or out of womb) and I will have some time more.

I rectify the chart to the moment moon makes the aspect with mercury and Saturn goes into my 8th which is ? ....good or bad.

I am sad because I always dreaming being happy for the time I was getting such news. I feel quite responsible for any child to bring it in a loving and happy surrounding.

In another horary technique says that the outcome derives from the 4th house (which is 4 for me -mercury and 8 for the baby-venus), no aspects between them. Venus conjucting Pluto in 11th.

The same degree nodes with mercury points a fatefull event-without the control of querent, Anthony Luis i think.
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Unread 01-18-2013, 02:27 AM
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Re: Broke up and I am pregnant..I need some help

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Originally Posted by Neptune Rising View Post
I just wanted to add though, I've heard of women having babies in their 40s, well, very early 40s. So its not impossible.

Good luck
That is true. I see a lot around me. More and more women are having their first children in their 40s, esp. in metropolitan areas. But the querant is currently pregnant, so that's the most urgent matter to sort out.

I also must say that the world is not a fair place, and just as many are trying without success, - again a prevalent problem of metropolitan career women, and I see it as related to work stress, environmental pollution, and sedentary habits (related to computers and electronics).

Older people are always commenting on how difficult it is today for today's urban women to do something natural such as to conceive. I have so many friends in their early 30s who have spontaneous miscarriages and are unable to keep their babies, women who otherwise have everything in their lives.

Life is too short for mulling over imperfections. If the only fault the child has is that you no longer fancy the father (you did fancy him for 3 years, and he must not have the ugliest, dumbest, most deficient genes in the world), I think that you may be concentrating on the 20% that's imperfect over 80% that's amazing in your life (job advancement, finally gaining your independence, and a newborn). You absolutely don't have to raise the child alone. I know many who found the love of their lives after having a child, in their 30's, 40s, 50s..., sometimes the guy also has children of his own to raise, and you raise the kids in a combined effort. You could also have a second child at a later date. Perhaps you are still attached to the perfect romance story in your psyche, but a child is first and foremost yours, as it depends on you for its very survival.

That's what my yoga teacher says now, that she absolutely should have kept the child of her ex-husband, and her future relationships would have been so much less stressful and strained, with all the fertility treatments and pressure that she put on each of them to produce children. As soon as she let that go, she again started having great romantic relationships.

All of this to help you decide and live at peace with your decisions. Bless you and the child.
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Unread 01-18-2013, 03:24 AM
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Re: Broke up and I am pregnant..I need some help

That was lovely. I wish it were always that way. My parents divorced when I was super young. She was stressed out trying to make ends meet so it was already difficult to have time for me, let alone a relationship. When she did find one that was interested in dating a woman with young children (though this might not be as hard nowadays), sometimes she would attract a predator/pedophile. So I had to grow up with men who would try to touch me and kiss me when she wasn't in the room.

My father was a horrible father. He treated my mom horribly even after their separation. I had to witness that. I begged to not have to spend time with my father. During those years he was neglectful, his girlfriends would be rude, one even cut all my beautiful long hair off cuz she was jealous. He had step children that he treated better than us in every way... It was horrible. Finally when I was legally allowed to make my own decisions I stopped talking to him and havent since.

Anyway, love the addition above because it is on aspect of the reality of the situation and I don't want to diminish it, but it is far different from the reality I experienced....

Yes, I'm sure you will love your child and do your best, but how will things be for this child? Will it not be so bad or will it be the nightmare I experienced? You might know who you are and what you have to offer, but what about people you date in your future and your ex and his partners? Those are the realities to think about because you dont go along with your child during visitation periods. Your child will be all alone and forced to be with this person who you don't feel is fit to continue with. That says something to me.

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Unread 01-18-2013, 06:48 PM
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Re: Broke up and I am pregnant..I need some help

I am reading above the two different voices on my mind.Both are right for making the possibilities in life, I just want to be strong and feel secure for my future.

Today I made the visit to my doctor, it is in the womb.(that's a good thing)

I still have two weeks..(not earlier than one week for termination)
I think I am going to discuss it with the father (just asking a question if we can be parents even if we cannot be partners).
I will let you know for my decision.
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Unread 01-18-2013, 07:25 PM
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Re: Broke up and I am pregnant..I need some help

Quote:
I think I am going to discuss it with the father (just asking a question if we can be parents even if we cannot be partners).
You couldn't do better than this! I am happy for you and wish you good luck ! I am sure this discussion with him will give you more abilities to take the decision you need to do.

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Unread 02-07-2013, 05:57 PM
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Re: Broke up and I am pregnant..I need some help

I would like to inform you, (let's see horary again), I decided to keep my baby, the father knows and he is willing to be part of. We don't know how our relationship will be developed in the future.

My decision was quite, very difficult (still have some blues some times) but what played an important role is the feelings I had first thing in a Thursday morning waking up 2 weeks before.And then the logic procedure.
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Unread 02-07-2013, 06:15 PM
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Re: Broke up and I am pregnant..I need some help

Hi Fem Greek,

I am very very happy for you, that was the best you could do. If a woman is asking around, if she does keep or not a baby, I think that in her unconsciousness she wants to keep it.

Now, how your relationship will develop in the future, nobody can say it in advance, but with your baby you will have much joy.

All my gratulations for you and the future life!

Joyfully
Sunny
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Unread 02-07-2013, 06:19 PM
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Re: Broke up and I am pregnant..I need some help

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Hi Fem Greek,

I am very very happy for you, that was the best you could do. If a woman is asking around, if she does keep or not a baby, I think that in her unconsciousness she wants to keep it.

Now, how your relationship will develop in the future, nobody can say it in advance, but with your baby you will have much joy.

All my gratulations for you and the future life!

Joyfully
Sunny
Thanks a lot! Sunny!
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Unread 02-07-2013, 08:28 PM
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Re: Broke up and I am pregnant..I need some help

Ahh that is so lovely, congraulations!! Very happy for you!!
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Unread 02-11-2013, 04:15 PM
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Re: Broke up and I am pregnant..I need some help

Hello

I went through something similar and I am also a single paretn and I know I am coming in late on this conversation.. Please keep your baby... It is your life force!!! there is never a perfect time to have a baby... I was single and Pregnant and my child sperm donor (dad) was not there for me so I know all the different emotions you are experiencing now.. I dont care what in the chart is combust or if there are 12 grand trines in it.. You dont know what the future holds and I know 4 people in their 40's who are childless and never married, can't conceive now due to health issues and missed out... I will also tell you that once you look into your child's eyes you will not regret it. Please keep your baby! I am trying not to be overcritical because I have not walked a mile in your shoes but I have walked in similar shoes.. Take care and I wish you the best.
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