SentinelOfLight
Banned
"Christmas Jailbreak" by Lytton Hall
'Twas the night before Christmas
and all through the jail
not a service was moving
not even the mail
Suicide watchees hung
from light fixtures with care
and psyche patients stood
by their windows to stare
Then down through an air duct
slid good ol' Saint Nick
The night guard on duty
stood suprised at that ****
Alarms, lights and shouting
sounded throughout the place
and Saint Nick then bolted
The guards now in a race
Through bean-shot and spray-guns
did ol' Saint Nick sprint
Of his means of entry
there was not even a hint
Now turning a corner
Santa came to a stop
He was just right on time
It was now twelve o'clock
He reached into his bag
and he pulled out a thing
and passed through the bars
a nude magazine
The prisoner therein
was shocked and astonished
It was exactly his wish
"Bad Babes of the Amish"
Then off Saint Nick ran
to flee from the place
he had to leave now
before guards saw his face
So into the night
on a sleigh in the rear
saying "Merry Christmas, bitches!
Don't **** up next year!"
=========================
"The Magic Kazoo" by Lytton Hall
Tom Tiddlewinks sat on the brink
of a three-story building ledge
when out of the blue came a magic kazoo
that sat loose in his lips and said:
"Give me a puff and a puckering spurt
and harken the sounds that I make
For surly your life is worth more than tripe
so blow me a note and be gay!"
Well ol' Tom was shocked at the sound from his mouth
and he lept in the air with a yelp
But his breakfast that morning was heavy on beans
and farting, he shot out to his death
'Twas the night before Christmas
and all through the jail
not a service was moving
not even the mail
Suicide watchees hung
from light fixtures with care
and psyche patients stood
by their windows to stare
Then down through an air duct
slid good ol' Saint Nick
The night guard on duty
stood suprised at that ****
Alarms, lights and shouting
sounded throughout the place
and Saint Nick then bolted
The guards now in a race
Through bean-shot and spray-guns
did ol' Saint Nick sprint
Of his means of entry
there was not even a hint
Now turning a corner
Santa came to a stop
He was just right on time
It was now twelve o'clock
He reached into his bag
and he pulled out a thing
and passed through the bars
a nude magazine
The prisoner therein
was shocked and astonished
It was exactly his wish
"Bad Babes of the Amish"
Then off Saint Nick ran
to flee from the place
he had to leave now
before guards saw his face
So into the night
on a sleigh in the rear
saying "Merry Christmas, bitches!
Don't **** up next year!"
=========================
"The Magic Kazoo" by Lytton Hall
Tom Tiddlewinks sat on the brink
of a three-story building ledge
when out of the blue came a magic kazoo
that sat loose in his lips and said:
"Give me a puff and a puckering spurt
and harken the sounds that I make
For surly your life is worth more than tripe
so blow me a note and be gay!"
Well ol' Tom was shocked at the sound from his mouth
and he lept in the air with a yelp
But his breakfast that morning was heavy on beans
and farting, he shot out to his death