Feel very hot and cold, what’s going on in my chart. Help would be very appreciated

Hello beautiful people, I came on here to get a better insight on the person I am I’m aware that I have a Virgo stellium or 2nd house stellium but I don’t feel related to what that sign or house say. I feel like I’m a very complicated person that drive people away since they can’t understand me but I don’t understand myself to begin with. I feel very much hot and cold I’m very into the dark side of life although I’m very positive and always wanna cheer others and have a smile on my face but deep down I feel dark. I even attract Scorpios like crazy not only romantic context but friends, relationships, friendships, they’re always around me for some reason ( I don’t mind I love them hehe) maybe since my south node is in Scorpio but I’m not sure. My head is very cloudy although I know what I want so I don’t get it. I also feel very sexual like I’m always ready of in the mood I feel like I can excel my emotions through sex maybe why I’m so dominant but at same time it’s my safe place (not the need for males validation) I know I’m great but sex helps me release a lot of things I don’t know how to put into words and I’m afraid that’ll become a habit. I don’t quite see where in my chart that it could explain this reason or why sex feels like therapy for me. I also don’t understand why I’m so sensitive or emotional like I cry over dumb things or I just like to cry in general I feel so good when I do so but at the same time I’m not weak and want to stop crying so easily because I’m not looking for pity or anything I just like crying idk why. These issues been on my mind ever since I started my spiritual journey and since I don’t understand myself I don’t understand why I’m so sexual and sensitive and very drawn to psychology almost if I wanna learn how to control minds (good intended). virgos are usually known for being cold hearted (like my mom haha, she’s also a Virgo but she’s the real definition of a Virgo tough and very smart). I know I could find all these answers within myself but like I said my head is always cloudy that I need others perspective.


https://imgur.com/gallery/jlxHB3A

Thank you so much if you have read this far and willing to give me some advice ❤️

Youngyaf said:

Thank you so much if you have read this far and willing to give me some advice ❤️

Click to expand...

Hello Youngaf,


I'm quite sure that some people here would like to help you - but not with this illegible incomplete chart pic.

As a clear legible chart - complete with table of planet placements, houses cusps and aspect list below or left side - if landscape print is chosen- is the most important tool for an astrologer for a chart reading.


Like this chart below - from astro.com.

Zora said:

Hello Youngaf,


I'm quite sure that some people here would like to help you - but not with this illegible incomplete chart pic.

As a clear legible chart - complete with table of planet placements, houses cusps and aspect list below or left side - if landscape print is chosen- is the most important tool for an astrologer for a chart reading.


Like this chart below - from astro.com.

Click to expand...

Hello Zora, thank you for helping me out and letting me know how to make my chart more legible to read.

https://imgur.com/gallery/jlxHB3A

I went on Astro.com hope this is better and let me know if there’s anything I can adjust to make it better.


I am not quite sure how to add the landscape tool.

Youngyaf said:

Hello Zora, thank you for helping me out and letting me know how to make my chart more legible to read.
https://imgur.com/gallery/jlxHB3A

I went on Astro.com hope this is better and let me know if there’s anything I can adjust to make it better.
I am not quite sure how to add the landscape tool.

Click to expand...

"Landscape" is a choice you can make by a click - some below the chart pic - where "image size" is mentioned.
Perhaps you also like to delete the previous illegible chart in your post quoting mine - too - as I just did.

Yes - thx - this chart is much better to read- now we all can go on here

Youngyaf said:

Feel very hot and cold, what’s going on in my chart.

I came on here to get a better insight on the person I am I’m aware that I have a Virgo stellium or 2nd house stellium but I don’t feel related to what that sign or house say.

I feel like I’m a very complicated person that drive people away since they can’t understand me but I don’t understand myself to begin with.

I feel very much hot and cold I’m very into the dark side of life although I’m very positive and always wanna cheer others and have a smile on my face but deep down I feel dark.

I even attract Scorpios like crazy not only romantic context but friends, relationships, friendships, they’re always around me for some reason ( I don’t mind I love them hehe) maybe since my south node is in Scorpio but I’m not sure.

My head is very cloudy although I know what I want so I don’t get it. I also feel very sexual like I’m always ready of in the mood I feel like I can excel my emotions through sex maybe why I’m so dominant but at same time it’s my safe place (not the need for males validation)

I know I’m great but sex helps me release a lot of things I don’t know how to put into words and I’m afraid that’ll become a habit. I don’t quite see where in my chart that it could explain this reason or why sex feels like therapy for me.

I also don’t understand why I’m so sensitive or emotional like I cry over dumb things or I just like to cry in general I feel so good when I do so but at the same time I’m not weak and want to stop crying so easily because I’m not looking for pity or anything I just like crying idk why.

These issues been on my mind ever since I started my spiritual journey and since I don’t understand myself I don’t understand why I’m so sexual and sensitive and very drawn to psychology almost if I wanna learn how to control minds (good intended).

virgos are usually known for being cold hearted (like my mom haha, she’s also a Virgo but she’s the real definition of a Virgo tough and very smart). I know I could find all these answers within myself but like I said my head is always cloudy that I need others perspective.

Click to expand...

.

Youngyaf said:

I feel very much hot and cold I’m very into the dark side of life although I’m very positive and always wanna cheer others and have a smile on my face but deep down I feel dark.

I even attract Scorpios like crazy not only romantic context but friends, relationships, friendships, they’re always around me for some reason ( I don’t mind I love them hehe) maybe since my south node is in Scorpio but I’m not sure.

Click to expand...

Scorpio is the sign of your 4th house - ruled by pluto. 4th house is your own emotional identity, your own emotions, your basic trust - how you react emotionally and how and what you need to feel yourself at home and welcomed and safe in your private room.

4th house is also your personal perception window - how you experienced your own mother (not the whole picture your mother really was in total) your personal mother experience in childhood, what you witnessed at your mother's part in her relationship with your father. And mother as first female principle and model role for a woman and the first inner picture of a woman - a man looks for in a partner in later life. And if there is something left open to get healed from childhood experience - one attracts scorpio energyzed people - to get into the deep waters of intense emotions again for a deep transformation - scorpio in 4th house always look for. With pluto sitting cusp your 5th house - it looks like you have felt yourself sitting between your both parents kinda as a mediator (?)

Pluto ruling a water sign - is not really cold - but the deeper the water gets - the colder it can be. And your pluto ruling your 4th is in fire sign sag cusp your 5th house - also house of sexuality - and in fire sign - hot energy. With pluto squaring sun and mars in reasonable virgo in 2nd house - probably trying to get rid of emotional pressure by sexual activities.

Youngyaf said:

I feel like I’m a very complicated person that drive people away since they can’t understand me but I don’t understand myself to begin with.

Click to expand...

[FONT=&quot]Your personal attracting energy to encounter people in general and for relationship is 7th house - in aquarius in your chart - ruled by uranus. Your uranus is strong placed in own house as ruler of 7th in 7th being of selfpurpose - but in water sign pisces.[/FONT][FONT=&quot]
[/FONT]
[FONT=&quot]Your uranus opposes your mercury in your 1st house in virgo. First house is personal enforcement energy to go for your aims and to look after getting your own wishes fullfilled and to defend yourself - when feeling attacked. And planets in virgo feel themselves attacked and criticised for seemingly not doing right or not being good enough - seeing quickly enemies around you - even if there aren't any.[/FONT][FONT=&quot]
[/FONT]
[FONT=&quot]Mercury in your 1st house rules your 2nd house - therefore mercury is mainly looking to protect yourself - to set boundaries - to defend own territory and own space, to defend own physical existence and own body and your ability to close your doors for others - to restore yourself and find a rest on your own.[/FONT][FONT=&quot]
[/FONT]
[FONT=&quot] 2nd house is also about skills you are born with and you can use to earn money with- is about self-esteem and what you see as worthy for yourself.[/FONT][FONT=&quot]
[/FONT]
[FONT=&quot]But a full placed 2nd house - with 4 planets in it is more about closing own doors than to open up to others. And surely has a reason - mostly resulting from an early childhood experience - where you experienced it as necessary to not much show yourself as you are - for the reason of self-protection.[/FONT]

[FONT=&quot]Pluto squaring sun as asc ruler and mars in your 2nd house is an intense and dominating energy which can also get violate-[/FONT][FONT=&quot]
[/FONT]
[FONT=&quot]Scorpio in 4th house - has moon/pluto corresponding energy and is always connected with a subconsciously deep fear to get emotionally and physically completely destroyed, abandoned and left helpless alone.[/FONT]
[FONT=&quot]
[/FONT]
[FONT=&quot]
[/FONT]

Zora said:

Scorpio is the sign of your 4th house - ruled by pluto. 4th house is your own emotional identity, your own emotions, your basic trust - how you react emotionally and how and what you need to feel yourself at home and welcomed and safe in your private room.

4th house is also your personal perception window - how you experienced your own mother (not the whole picture your mother really was in total) your personal mother experience in childhood, what you witnessed at your mother's part in her relationship with your father. And mother as first female principle and model role for a woman and the first inner picture of a woman - a man looks for in a partner in later life. And if there is something left open to get healed from childhood experience - one attracts scorpio energyzed people - to get into the deep waters of intense emotions again for a deep transformation - scorpio in 4th house always look for. With pluto sitting cusp your 5th house - it looks like you have felt yourself sitting between your both parents kinda as a mediator (?)

Pluto ruling a water sign - is not really cold - but the deeper the water gets - the colder it can be. And your pluto ruling your 4th is in fire sign sag cusp your 5th house - also house of sexuality - and in fire sign - hot energy. With pluto squaring sun and mars in reasonable virgo in 2nd house - probably trying to get rid of emotional pressure by sexual activities.

Click to expand...

Very interesting since I couldn’t see Scorpio in my chart I didn’t understand why I’d attract them so much but you’re absolutely right they definitely bring a side of me that I can’t do so myself. The only “connection” that’s I took serious was with a Scorpio and although I was hurt a lot throughout it I learned a lot about myself since Scorpios always talk about how it’s not easy for them to open up and don’t want things to be used against it made me very confused because I have that fear but I have never even actually tried opening up before. They usually go through something to think that way and I just had that mindset naturally and learned that I need to talk about myself and my childhood- how I grew up for the other person to understand why I am the why I am. At first I would think Scorpios use trauma as a way of bonding (may be true) which caused me to be even more closed off because I want it to come naturally you know. But I analyzed how that person whose a Scorpio would complain about opening up but hear about them talking about themselves to people so I didn’t understand because it’s not true and they would love to open up and that have me the courage to try it (ended up in both of us crying haha)
The childhood thing there’s a lot of messed up things that I witness and went through I’ll give few examples- like seeing my mother bring another man into our house while my dad was out and myself being touched inappropriately at the age 4-5 but for some reason I allowed it but now when I think about it it doesn’t really bother although it’s messed up. I also wouldn’t consider myself a mediator when it comes to my parents because I simply didn’t care and knew they didn’t love eachothwr and was very attached to my mom that I would agree with anything she would do. Like even witness my mom having sex right next to me- I still don’t know how I feel about that. My mom did and does make a big impact on my life and I kinda hate it because she’s not the greatest at times but I can’t resist hating her she did make me scared of love and all that stuff. Probably since she left my dad for an abusive man which was life changing for me since I was a mommy’s and daddy’s girl and I was in a whole new country at 6 with an abusive adult while my mom had to go to school it was a lot for a 6 year old. And everytime I would tell my mom wasn’t going on behind her back and how I’m being hit if I don’t follow certain rules she’ll be like “okay I’ll talk to him” and he told me if I tell my mom or anyone he would hit me even more and my mom didn’t listen, she wasn’t around to protect since she was in school but I had to deal with it even if she “talked” to him. Sorry I’m talking a lot I just feel very open right now but basically the way my mom has acted towards men and taking their side and not her daughters made me very scared. I never wanna be so blind in “love” that I can see my closest people are hurting due to my actions or not believing them since I “love” that person so much.

Lastly, I brought up my hyper sexual only because I don’t understand why having sex (with someone I truly like) feels like therapy or like I let all my problems out. Like you said I do get emotional pressure out of sexual activities but I can come off insensitive and that’s all I wanna do and not actually communicate about things. Like if someone open up to me and cries and get very deep and emotional I get turned on... I noticed that when my Scorpio partner had a breakdown and cried and I tried seducing him or like this girl told me her mom died and I wanted to make out.. I just don’t want to come off werid but I don’t have an explanation for it either.
I’m not very worried since I found my self worth and found hopping around isn’t for me because I like to be respected and very sensitive if someone talks to me in a disrespectful way esp with sleeping around so learned that I just wanted to experience and was bored really and thankfully I’m out of that phase and learned that’s not how I’m trying to be in life. I’m very proud of myself actually I haven’t gained any new bodies this year!! It just scares me because I have very werid kinks like cnc or just wanna do it if someone cries but I don’t wanna seem like that’s all I care about it (sometimes it is) but made since I’m scared to love I dunno.

Oh and “the deeper the water get the colder it is” is one of the most beautiful things I’ve read in awhile, thank you for that input.


Thank you so much for the beautiful explanation and I’m sorry if I’m talked about I just felt very open right now since you hit home with your words.

Youngyaf,

You have least aspected Uranus, Mercury, Neptune, and Venus; and Saturn in the Hidden House (12th house). This means your ONLY awareness is of Pluto (transformation, also sex, death, occult, psychology, control) in the Self Expression/Dating House (5th house) squaring (energy needs to be combined with) your Virgo (daily work, also analysis) in your Values House (2nd house). So sexual contacts in dating can help you analyze and understand your personal values. This results in a STRONG connection to sexual matters and, unfortunately, makes it likely for you to be VERY sexually attractive at a young age. It also suggests issues around control and personal values at a young age.

Neptune (spirituality, also confusion, deception) is conjunct (energy is combined with) your Descendant (Others) so you are confused about others around you and may be deceived by others around you. This possibility of deception from others makes you even more dependent on your ability to get control of others to help you analyze them and their values and how they compare with your own.

The great importance of personal values is re-emphasized with Taurus (personal values) modifying North node (future goals) in the Expansion/Travel/Knowledge House (9th house). This suggests travel and study while exploring your values is the way to develop yourself in your life.

About the importance of personal values,

Tim

Zora said:

[FONT=&quot]Your personal attracting energy to encounter people in general and for relationship is 7th house - in aquarius in your chart - ruled by uranus. Your uranus is strong placed in own house as ruler of 7th in 7th being of selfpurpose - but in water sign pisces.[/FONT][FONT=&quot]
[/FONT]
[FONT=&quot]Your uranus opposes your mercury in your 1st house in virgo. First house is personal enforcement energy to go for your aims and to look after getting your own wishes fullfilled and to defend yourself - when feeling attacked. And planets in virgo feel themselves attacked and criticised for seemingly not doing right or not being good enough - seeing quickly enemies around you - even if there aren't any.[/FONT][FONT=&quot]
[/FONT]
[FONT=&quot]Mercury in your 1st house rules your 2nd house - therefore mercury is mainly looking to protect yourself - to set boundaries - to defend own territory and own space, to defend own physical existence and own body and your ability to close your doors for others - to restore yourself and find a rest on your own.[/FONT][FONT=&quot]
[/FONT]
[FONT=&quot] 2nd house is also about skills you are born with and you can use to earn money with- is about self-esteem and what you see as worthy for yourself.[/FONT][FONT=&quot]
[/FONT]
[FONT=&quot]But a full placed 2nd house - with 4 planets in it is more about closing own doors than to open up to others. And surely has a reason - mostly resulting from an early childhood experience - where you experienced it as necessary to not much show yourself as you are - for the reason of self-protection.[/FONT]

[FONT=&quot]Pluto squaring sun as asc ruler and mars in your 2nd house is an intense and dominating energy which can also get violate-[/FONT][FONT=&quot]
[/FONT]
[FONT=&quot]Scorpio in 4th house - has moon/pluto corresponding energy and is always connected with a subconsciously deep fear to get emotionally and physically completely destroyed, abandoned and left helpless alone.[/FONT]
[FONT=&quot]
[/FONT]
[FONT=&quot]
[/FONT]

Click to expand...

So as you talked about the 7th house attracting personal encounters and relationships, I do have a very weird friendships always. They always seem to end in a unexpected way when I truly loved those friends and called them bestie but out of nowhere it stops working out. Like I just lost my 6 year long “best friend” during mercury retrograde over very very dumb arguments that came out of nowhere and I’ve noticed this pattern with friendships that no matter how close even if I call them sister, suddenly it’s not compatible anymore I honestly don’t know where I be going wrong or what be happening. I’m always willing to communicate and have no problem someone pointing out my flaws so I could work on them but my pride is too high to chase someone for a conversation (after I tried). Now when it comes to relationships, does my Venus in 12th house have anything with it? I’ll be an adult in a year and I have not yet been in a actual relationship when I have soooo much love to give (just scared to commit) but I’m very loving and would love to share my love, although I usually attract people I can’t have or will have legal issues. Where do you see my love life going in my chart? If I’m being real I never thought about love much it kinda makes me cringe but I love to love and the feeling of being in someone arms that I truly have some kinda connection with it confuses me I don’t know how I be feeling about “love” or how to feel but I know that I want it.

Also my Uranus oppose Mercury in the first house description couldn’t be any better. As well as the 2nd house full placements making me closed off and not showing myself for how I fully am. I did experience something when I was in 5th grade and obviously I was super young so I was honest and of course my peers could tell that I’m foreign so I would speak about where I’m front till “I$I$“ came around and they show the news to the kids and everyone would look at me like some weirdo or like I’m harmful or I have any cause on what’s going on in the world. Literally the kids were so nosey to the point the teacher had to stop the news ask me in front of everyone where I’m from and I was panicking because were watching his horrible the place I come from so I lied and made up something and I do regret it I wish I was older I wish I was able to face people’s reactions I wish I could be honest and not make up all these stories but it started very young and I had to keep going with it’s where I live now. But it doesn’t truly bother me because I’m not a lair I was just protecting myself. And till this day I have only told a stranger about this and now I’m telling you but I wanna move to another city and start new and be honest I just don’t know when I’ll be ready or if I can face what people will think of me.

Also I’ve always heard having many placements in the 2nd house esp Jupiter is amazing for finance. Do you see this being true in my chart?
I’m veryy great with my money and know how to save and use it or more like I just attract money naturally like I’m always around it or find it. I’m
Just what my career will look like I’ve always saw and see myself becoming something big that’ll bring me a big income and something that I could also be helping others in. I wanna start working, gain experience, spread awareness, help others to become greatest (which is why I need to understand myself) I want to do something federal or law related but I’ve always been go with the flow type person because I want to see what I was meant to become but I also need to be practical and have a plan.








I appreciate you so much if you’ve been listening to me and willing to help me out and give me some advice I know I can be very talkative at times but I love expressing myself and hearing others perspective.
If I’m asking for much I could cashapp you, I know this stuff isn’t usually free and I don’t want to use your time and not give you anything in return.
Once again, thank you for your understanding and help.

wilsontc said:

Youngyaf,

You have least aspected Uranus, Mercury, Neptune, and Venus; and Saturn in the Hidden House (12th house). This means your ONLY awareness is of Pluto (transformation, also sex, death, occult, psychology, control) in the Self Expression/Dating House (5th house) squaring (energy needs to be combined with) your Virgo (daily work, also analysis) in your Values House (2nd house). So sexual contacts in dating can help you analyze and understand your personal values. This results in a STRONG connection to sexual matters and, unfortunately, makes it likely for you to be VERY sexually attractive at a young age. It also suggests issues around control and personal values at a young age.

Neptune (spirituality, also confusion, deception) is conjunct (energy is combined with) your Descendant (Others) so you are confused about others around you and may be deceived by others around you. This possibility of deception from others makes you even more dependent on your ability to get control of others to help you analyze them and their values and how they compare with your own.

The great importance of personal values is re-emphasized with Taurus (personal values) modifying North node (future goals) in the Expansion/Travel/Knowledge House (9th house). This suggests travel and study while exploring your values is the way to develop yourself in your life.

About the importance of personal values,

Tim

Click to expand...

Hello Tim, wowwww that is very interesting and more interesting because I also felt a weird connection with Pluto, I even checked if it’s in my first house o before and I ALWAYS get the death card for some reason when I’m giving myself a tattoo card or watching a video. Even the guy I was seeing I asked him to pull out a card and in my head I was like whatever he pulls out of how he feels about me and pulled the death card haha (I connected it with him being a Scorpio but idk it’s pretty repetitive). Unfortunately, I am aware that I’m very sexually attractive even at a very young age I would get hit on or touched like that but for some reason I didn’t stop it and even now it doesn’t bother me. I literally knew what being horny felt like since 5. But through sexual activities I can feel things like emotions and be completely lost at the same time so it’s nice feeling your emotions but enjoying it at once. I did learn to love myself and understand my self worth so I don’t really have any problems with sleeping around or seeing multiple people or anything (ya know us virgos can be a bit Germer-phobic).
Neptune conjunct my descendant is very true!! Even my mom tells me that I confuse people’s intentions and can fall easily sometimes. I know not all people are like me but I don’t understand why someone willingly would wanna be evil so I give many chances but like you said I ask many questions about how someone feels about someone or what the think ( of course I have my own opinion) but I could be lost sometimes and think everything is rainbows. I am now or actually for awhile now well aware of this trait of mine which is why I wanna learn to manipulation (in a good way) or get in others head (for control also in a good way) just so I won’t be hurt and not have them deceive me. My mom even suggested I get a crystal that telling me others intentions or warning me at least but idk if that’s a thing.
And to the very last thing you said about travel and study to learn to develop my life is exactly what I’m doing this summer. I left the country when I hate doing so but I love doing things I hate I don’t know I’m down for a challenge and I’m been TRYING to start shadow work but if I don’t know myself then idk where to begin.



Thank you so much Tim for the beautiful reading!
That does make me wonder tho with all the sexual energy I have does that make me at least great in bed or something? What’s it useful for? I know you mentioned it helps me analyzing about myself and all but how do other see this energy about me?

Youngyaf said:

That does make me wonder tho with all the sexual energy I have does that make me at least great in bed or something? What’s it useful for? I know you mentioned it helps me analyzing about myself and all but how do other see this energy about me?

Click to expand...

Youngyaf,

Ultimately, Pluto is about "transformation": death and rebirth experiences that entirely remake who you are. Sex is a very basic example of this, as the sexual experience is powerful and feels transformative. But that's only the surface level of Pluto. Some other uses you have already begun to explore: psychology where you dig below the surface of what people see (by the way, astrology is VERY good for this), controlling yourself and those around you (Pluto energy often is about either being IN control or BEING controlled), occult studies (finding out about the hidden nature of the world, again, astrology VERY MUCH has to do with this), and death awareness (knowing you and everyone around you will die forces you to take THIS moment VERY seriously, as you are aware it could be your last). I suggest you moving AWAY from random sexual encounters and start exploring some of these OTHER meanings of Pluto and USING them to better explore your own values and the values of those around you.

Suggesting,

Tim

wilsontc said:

Youngyaf,

Ultimately, Pluto is about "transformation": death and rebirth experiences that entirely remake who you are. Sex is a very basic example of this, as the sexual experience is powerful and feels transformative. But that's only the surface level of Pluto. Some other uses you have already begun to explore: psychology where you dig below the surface of what people see (by the way, astrology is VERY good for this), controlling yourself and those around you (Pluto energy often is about either being IN control or BEING controlled), occult studies (finding out about the hidden nature of the world, again, astrology VERY MUCH has to do with this), and death awareness (knowing you and everyone around you will die forces you to take THIS moment VERY seriously, as you are aware it could be your last). I suggest you moving AWAY from random sexual encounters and start exploring some of these OTHER meanings of Pluto and USING them to better explore your own values and the values of those around you.

Suggesting,

Tim

Click to expand...

Hello Tim, thank you for your suggestions. I definitely have stopped with random sexual encounters and been very into psychology and occults. I’m not in college yet but I’ve downloaded pdf files about psychology and reading about it as well as taking notes in my journal. My Neptune square Uranus is one of the most aspects I feel related to it even reassured me that my thoughts aren’t crazy although I don’t have supporting evidence but I truly believe my own theories and even at time I could jus be on a swing enjoying life and suddenly an idea of a theory just comes to me and make everything make sense which has helped me to get deeper into the occults of life as well as astrology. Like you said astrology is very helpful for many of these things. I love getting deep, uncomfortable, doing things that are complete opposite of me or the hidden of life. I’m very glad I’m not afraid or scared of anything so I can keep exploring no matter how Icky it can get. Death is one thing I need think more about I always push it away I know everyone dies only because I don’t want to think of very specific people dying but I remind myself that THIS VERY EXACT MOMENT will never come back so I live it to the fullest and make others that I care about think that way as well, to enjoy the very present we’re living in.
Alan watts videos and quotes helped me a lot with seeing things from different perspective.
Thank you Tim for your beautiful explanation.

Youngyaf said:

My Neptune square Uranus is one of the most aspects I feel related to it even reassured me that my thoughts aren’t crazy although I don’t have supporting evidence but I truly believe my own theories and even at time I could jus be on a swing enjoying life and suddenly an idea of a theory just comes to me and make everything make sense which has helped me to get deeper into the occults of life as well as astrology.

Click to expand...

Youngyaf,

You don't have NATAL Neptune square Uranus however right now TRANSITING (moving planet in the sky) Uranus (rebellion) IS squaring your least aspected Neptune (spirituality). This has made you suddenly become AWARE of Neptune in your life (which had been hidden up to now since Neptune barely "connects in" to your chart). This awareness will last as long as the transiting Uranus square goes on (until July 2023). This suggests a time of rebellion with your spirituality in some way, a spiritual struggle that opens up a new, spiritual way of seeing the world.

About transits,

Tim