I just don't understand this sentence
o you mean that I can feel something about my father's relationship with
his father while I'm with my father? --He WAS a workaholic when I was growing up, but I became closer to him as a teenager when I worked with him.
Is that what you mean "more outside present"?
Yes.
Your father might have been under pluto pressure influence and kinda occupied most by his own father's demands of highstandards and perfection in life and to fullfil -so that your father followed them subconsciously more than being present for you as a father in your early childhood.Working together with him is a good way and expression of this constellation to solve it - and to get closer to your father.
A mars ruled 8th house is of the meaning of a strong male ancestor bloodline you inherited and you are apart of as well - with mars/pluto correspondence - strong persisting fighters - able to conquer new territory and willing to take leadership.
This is what your mars in 10th house is willing to do as well - well supported by your own family and ancestor's energy. But with your mars in cancer and in conj. with venus - you have chosen another way in your life to achieve it and to push it through.
I thought Moon-squared-Pluto meant I was the controlling one.Anyway, I am trying to learn how Moon-squared-Pluto is holding me back so I can stop being so self-doubting.
Moon is a female and passive principle and can do nothing active. Active controlling are only sun/pluto and mars/pluto.
Moon pluto is the strongest energy of pluto aspects - the energy and power to conceive life and to deliver life to birth (child)- conceiving and leaving descendants. But also to destroy life - moon/pluto in hard aspects in a horary can show an abortion.
The main perception, feeling and deepest fear of moon/pluto is to get completely and existentially destroyed, to be not accepted in family or environment (in 9th), to kinda be "a powerless and helpless outlaw".
Moon pluto is a strong energy and visionary focus in pictiures on inner eye - but is in its shadow side can also get self-desctructive if the energy is not used for a hihger goal and is then more about willing to suffer -and can stand a lot for long and more than other people do.
But also can show great personalities and human caracters - able to focus on targets without looking right or left and able to put personal interests at 2nd place for a higher principle and reason - serving a higher goal - they burn for.