I would say that it is Neptune transiting your 1st H that is creating this emotional void for you; your psyche is putting a veil over your past memories, that may be too painful to remember on the conscious level. I have experienced something similar, and the treatment that worked for me was hypnosis; that allowed me to clear the block eventually. The problem is connected with your major t-square involving Mercury/Mars/Moon and Jupiter; Moon in Cancer is highly receptive to past memories, making one also very sensitive and emotionally reactive. Learning about the meaning and purpose of the emotions is necessary to resolve the dilemma. As mentioned previously, in order to heal our internalized emotional torments, we need to address them on the conscious level; once we have identified them they can then be released from the psyche through conscious effort. The chart does not overtly show a specific past trauma, on the physical level at least, although the 8th H energies can denote a psychiatric problem. Since the 9th H also relates to 'foreign travel and distance journeys' this could denote an alien encounter, however that alone should not be overly traumatic, since the conjunction with Pluto [the Soul] is not afflicted by negative aspects.
'Feel the fear, and do it anyway': I read this book many years ago which was very informative and helpful to me as well, for often it is fear that keeps us locked in a state of paralysis.
You are needing to face those internal fears that you carry and this is the purpose of Saturn's continuing sojourn through Scorpio, which has been transiting your Sun/Pluto. The Natal Moon afflicting your Mercury and Mars represents a trouble-spot for you; this could suggest past difficulties experienced through the mother in childhood [Moon in Cancer] which are in need of release and resolution. Mercury=the mind; Mars=actions and motivations; these are areas where you are feeling especially blocked in relating to others. In this case you are allowing your emotions to control both your mind and your actions,when in truth it should be the other way around; remember that the emotions are not concrete 'things' they are mainly thoughts; the process then involves re-establishing control over your mind. Of course when emotional difficulties dominate, it will often lead to apathy and retreat from the world.
Afflictions to the sign of Libra often relate to a lack of internal balance and harmony from which external troubles arise. The Moon/Jupiter suggests your early emotional imprinting was perhaps highly exaggerated and overblown and in order to maintain balance the psyche has now locked the memories away, so as not to be bothersome any longer. The problem is that when the emotions are locked up, the problems don't go away, they simply get stronger.
The planetary trends are due for changing by mid-July when Jupiter moves into Leo [enthusiasm, optimism] and Mars leaves Libra and enters Scorpio, which may well help to kick start your energies and motivation again. Your natal Pluto/Sun conjunction shows you have the innate power to overcome your personal challenges and transform into a more self-controlled and empowered individual. You also have a lot of positive energies to avail yourself of, once you get past the hurdle of emotional dissonance. You might want to avail yourself of cognitive-behavioral therapy, to gain better control over both your emotions and your mind, since you have experienced suicidal ideation. As said, hypnosis by a skilled therapist can also be very helpful. Good Luck to you.
