Lonely, troubled and messed up

Feeling suicidal, messed up each day, wondering where to take my life, setting dreams but nothing getting anywhere.

http://www.astro.com/cgi/showgif.cg....gif&res=63&va=&cid=31jfilecxq7g9-u1320000377

Anyone who can help? Even tell me of any hope?

Mostly, I think... it's the past, or my obsession with music, or needing some sort of thing to messed up my head really. I don't smoke drugs but... I feel mentally messed up and keep using things to run from reality.

I need to escape this messed up reality. But I need a hand out there, or feel like it.

Okay, well Pluto right now is transiting through Capricorn, which is your sun sign. This is a time for you to do just what you are doing-figuring out what works and what doesn't! Pluto is the ruler of Scorpio, therefore the themes of life and death apply. What this means is, you need to shed the negative influences in your life and you will rebound stronger than ever. Pluto causes a "phoenix from the ashes" sort of thing. What happened when Pluto transited and changed signs in 2008-2009? The world blew up! Economies crashed etc and what we knew before doesn't work now. As long as you simply regard this as needing a change, you will prosper. This is a time of transformation for you. So get help, and I assure you things will get better. I know Capricorns that recently dieted and look completely different, that have finally changed jobs they hated and now make double what they made before. Pluto doesn't mess around, and as long as you heed the warnings of it, you will be successful. Understand you vulnerabilities and let be honest with yourself. Your midheaven is in Gemini, have you considered anything to do with writing, communicatin, the internet, computers or possibly going to college? Gemini's love knowledge and your career choice could possibly be succesful in a field that relies heavily on communication. Radio dj etc. Hope I could help. If you are feeling suicidal though, get to a doctor.

Personally, in my opinion, with how easygoing my life has been, and whilst that has happened, feeling suicidal on occasion, wanting to escape life, things like that.

Most of that I feel was caused by my mother, a wanting for love, but never received, thus, this rebounded in confidence building that was so messed up it ******* me up for awhile before I came back to earth and now trying to get on with people.

I learnt to assert myself, become more honest, have feelings for people

I really feel my life is going nowhere and currently, head is so messed up at 4:52am, never getting sleep at night.

On the other hand, confidence has grown, head space has cleared, less in my own head

I keep waiting for the day I get that job.

To be well adjusted in a sick society is no sign of health!

please contact a suicide helpline, to Bradders

Bradders said:

Feeling suicidal, messed up each day, wondering where to take my life, setting dreams but nothing getting anywhere...I need to escape this messed up reality. But I need a hand out there, or feel like it.

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When you are feeling suicidal, retreating online is not the way to go. You need to talk to someone, make human contact somewhere, and get out with others. Retreating inwardly only makes the problem that is the source of those suicidal feelings grow. Here is one link to suicide help information:
http://suicide.com/suicidecrisiscenter/whycall.html

There are many more online. Google "Suicide help line", contact the ones in your area, talk to someone and get help.

Since the forum can't provide you with the human contact you need at this difficult time and since suicide is a very serious matter that demands real life solutions, I am closing this thread.

Non-astrologically,

Tim