Why I struggle to be in a relationship?

Prominent said:

I suggest finding a way to be happy without one first. I know a lot of people say something to that accord, but I think it is important because if you don't then you might end up living your life by means of another person and never truly feeling fulfilled.
Having a healthy relationship begins with having healthy relationships with smaller things, like whatever you relate yourself with- hobbies, interests, etc.. I know it's kind of ironic way to think about it, but it helps you learn to be happy with yourself before you learn to be happy with another person.
At least that's how I see it.. I'm sure other people can offer better advice, since I don't have much experience with relationships with people on a personal level.

Click to expand...

Assyrian_Libra said:

Well it's been one year without being with someone though my past relationship never turned out to be a relationship to me at all and just seems like I never had a relationship... but thats a long story... So I am wondering. I wont ever be happy without a relationship. It's depressing, stressful and frustrating for me.


My info

Born...
October 18, 1989
Location: New Britain, Connecticut, USA
Time: 1:18 AM

Click to expand...

selfless said:

------------If we follow VEDIC ASTROLOGY----------
Ascendant(Lagna)----Leo(Simha)
Raashi(Moon Sign)-----Vrisha (Taurus)
Star(Nakshatra)-------Rohini, 3rd Pad
If we follow, VIMSOTTARI DASA system----------
at present , RAHU / SHUKRA(Venus) going on and will end on June 2014.
----------------------------------
for your improvement (overall), get some REMEDY for Mangal (MARS).

Click to expand...

StillOne said:

IMO, your relationship issues stem from Gemini Moon in Opposition to Sag. Venus. You also have Libra Sun Semi-Square Venus. I share these aspects with you. They are challenging. If you haven't done so yet, research them.

I like what Prominent said, and it's so true, especially for Moon in Opposition to Venus people, learn to be happy by yourself first. Then, consider being friends first with a potential romantic interest for awhile. Don't commit to quick and keep some space while you assess the situation for the initial bit. Moon opp Venus tends to want to be in a relationship but may be attracted to the wrong person. Better to take your time.

Oh, also, your Moon happens to be the Apex of a Yod. It's actually a Boomerang Yod. So, you may possibly already know the answer to this dilemma. If not, consider exploring your Moon apex by researching all aspects of it and find out what it is you need to do. Meditation can help here possibly...

http://www.cafeastrology.com/natal/moonvenusaspects.html

Click to expand...

Assyrian_Libra said:

Thanks for the info... I dont know nothing about that I will look into that...

One of my problem is I have introverted personality (well some time extroverted when I am drunk and I get so loud too if I dont get anyone attention) but that does seems somewhat contradicted because of my rising leo but I do have a intentions to be very extroverted... But I do suffer social anxiety and I blamed so much with my Leo mother who emotionally and mentally and physically abused me growing up and the way she over controlled my life, she done so much damaged on me... and to this day I dont get along with her or many other people who are very negatively dramatic for my taste.... this is why I dont put my self out there to meet guys that I feel interested in plus I have such low self-esteem... I really hate my mother sometimes,, I really do...

Click to expand...

StillOne said:

Sorry to hear about the abuse... The sooner you can move beyond that the better. I'd say your quest is largely about finding and developing mental strength. I'd highly recommend some type of meditation. That way you can... well so many things, but one is to become in control of your mind. This results in, when done correctly, happiness, understanding and self mastery. For someone with low-self esteem this is crucial (IMO). Inner strength shines thru and others pick up on it. Knowing and loving yourself will be attractive to others versus the opposite... IMO of course!

Try to move beyond blaming others and start taking responsibility for your own happiness. No one can give you happiness. It's something you have to find inside. As soon as you start looking outside of yourself for happiness, you are allowing someone or something to control you.

Click to expand...

Assyrian_Libra said:

Thank you for the advice... I should really look into meditation...

I am taking medication for anxiety along with anti-depressant and I am trying to get into social skill classes to help me a bit...

Click to expand...

StillOne said:

Ok, well, IMO try and find yourself off the medication as soon as you can as they can become habit forming. Of course all with your physicians approval etc. You may, of course, also consider talking to a therapist. I did, and it helped quite a bit just to be able to open up completely to someone. Essentially you're paying someone to listen to you as you unload all your stuff on them. I'd be weary of what they tell you however, as it's only an opinion. Don't take it as absolute truth. Explore it's validity as well.

To me, it seems that understanding your Yod to your Moon could help tremendously in this situation. However, that will require a bit of studying on your part. A yod is rather esoteric and personal, they're a bit difficult to delineate. I understand mine but struggle in understanding others. I've only been learning astrology for a couple of years now.

Please go to astro.com the "extended chart selection" that is free to join. There you can generate a chart to post here so others can also assist you.

Click to expand...

MJ82 said:

Your chart pic has expired.... repost?

Click to expand...

Moog said:

In the sidereal chart, Saturn, ruler of the 7th, is in the 6th.

7th ruler in the 6th is a hard one. There tends to be trust issues, combativeness, inability to compromise with each other. In Some cases, a partner can literally make one sick.

Cancer rising tends to have a struggle with relationships anyway (Saturn)

Saturn is also 8/6 from your Moon, which throws an essential emotional dissonance with partners into the pot.

Click to expand...

Assyrian_Libra said:

This is discouraging... but um yea those were the things I was experiencing when I was in a relationship... I havent date anyone for quite sometime (after that crazy experience I had with that aqua kid who threaten to call the police on me for no good reason, but thats a long story) it is also my self-esteem it does go in hand with my trust if they how I AM then I may feel skeptical, I do fear being hurt and I really dont need more on my back for more hurts... but not that I'm trying to not trust the person I really do want to trust them...

Click to expand...

Vic DiCara said:

The process of dealing therapeutically with planets is termed "Graha-Shanti" - which means "making peace with your planets." We chant mantras, give charity, etc. as a means of dissolving tension between ourselves and a planetary karmic force. We can imagine that we are trying to change the planet's attitude towards us, but it is more true to realize that we are trying to change our attitude towards the karma held for us by that planet. We are making peace with the planet, not cajoling the planet to make peace with us. Chanting a mantra for a specific planet, for example, will change our attitude towards that planet, and put us in a humble, receptive, devotional mood towards the destiny that planet holds for us. That change in attitude will change our subjective experience of our destiny - which is all important, for our lives are nothing but subjective experience.

Click to expand...

Moog said:

The Indians love 'remedies', I don't really know if they work or not. But you could give them a try.

I'm still figuring them out.

Here's a thing on them I picked up the other day. Rings well with me;



Actually, put that way, sounds not too far off a western approach to dealing with difficult planets. Internal alchemy.

Click to expand...