Will family accept relationship?

astrobunny

Well-known member
Recently, I got involved in a polyamorous relationship with a previously committed couple. We've been dating for over a month now and have been very happy, but my mother recently found out about the relationship and has been livid. My girlfriend and boyfriend have expressed an interest in talking to her about the relationship, but my mother is a very conservative woman and tried to prevent me from leaving the house to see them after she learned about the relationship. (Just to clarify, I'm an adult. I live at home and do pay for my own gas and try to help out our family's living expenses, so it's not a case of me freeloading or spending her money to be with them.)

Would I look at aspects to Saturn, the ruler of Capricorn and the 4th house, to see how this will go? It looks like the next planet to aspect it will be Mars, the ruler of 7th, and they're squaring which I think indicates incoming conflict rather than any type of acceptance or tolerance.
 

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waybread

Well-known member
I don't think your mother will reconcile with you about this. You're Venus, happy in the 5th house of love affairs. The mother is the 10th house ruled by the moon. The moon, as the faster moving planet, does not aspect Venus. Dad would be shown by the 4th house; and siblings, by the 3rd house.

It's your call as to whether to continue living at home, but with Mom in Mars-ruled Aries in the 6th house, she's pretty upset about this.
 

astrobunny

Well-known member
I don't think your mother will reconcile with you about this. You're Venus, happy in the 5th house of love affairs. The mother is the 10th house ruled by the moon. The moon, as the faster moving planet, does not aspect Venus. Dad would be shown by the 4th house; and siblings, by the 3rd house.

It's your call as to whether to continue living at home, but with Mom in Mars-ruled Aries in the 6th house, she's pretty upset about this.
Thanks waybread. I didn't notice the bit about looking at a separate house for mom. Moon and Venus make no aspect, but doesn't the Moon aspect with the Sun, ruler of house of friends, next? Any chance a solution could be found in an interaction between friends and my mom? Or does it need to be a smooth aspect like a sextile or trine?
 

waybread

Well-known member
If these are "friends with benefits" its hard to know what house to put them in, but if they're the 11th house, ruled by Leo, the moon applies to a square with the sun. This suggests that if Mom does meet your Significant Others, it isn't going to go well.

Seriously-- is Mom a complete free spirit herself, or is she fairly traditional? As a mother of two adult children myself, I can't imagine too many moms, hoping their child finds a wonderful spouse or partner for a monogamous commitment, would be thrilled about a threesome. Possibly you're asking too much of her.

This isn't to judge your choices, but hoping to explain this from what is a typical Mom perspective.
 

astrobunny

Well-known member
If these are "friends with benefits" its hard to know what house to put them in, but if they're the 11th house, ruled by Leo, the moon applies to a square with the sun. This suggests that if Mom does meet your Significant Others, it isn't going to go well.

Seriously-- is Mom a complete free spirit herself, or is she fairly traditional? As a mother of two adult children myself, I can't imagine too many moms, hoping their child finds a wonderful spouse or partner for a monogamous commitment, would be thrilled about a threesome. Possibly you're asking too much of her.

This isn't to judge your choices, but hoping to explain this from what is a typical Mom perspective.

They're not friends with benefits. I consider them 7th house. I was wondering if the Sun square showed friend involvement because we have close, longterm family friends concerned with the situation. And we understand my mom's perspective and her concerns. This is a very unorthodox situation. It's just she has a very strong Pluto influence in her chart, which can (sometimes) cause her to handle certain things badly and is why I think friends have been showing their concern. Some have offered me to live with them, and I may take them up on it. Thank you for helping with the chart though.
 

rafaella

Well-known member
Recently, I got involved in a polyamorous relationship with a previously committed couple. We've been dating for over a month now and have been very happy, but my mother recently found out about the relationship and has been livid. My girlfriend and boyfriend have expressed an interest in talking to her about the relationship, but my mother is a very conservative woman and tried to prevent me from leaving the house to see them after she learned about the relationship. (Just to clarify, I'm an adult. I live at home and do pay for my own gas and try to help out our family's living expenses, so it's not a case of me freeloading or spending her money to be with them.)

Would I look at aspects to Saturn, the ruler of Capricorn and the 4th house, to see how this will go? It looks like the next planet to aspect it will be Mars, the ruler of 7th, and they're squaring which I think indicates incoming conflict rather than any type of acceptance or tolerance.

Well you live under your parent's roof, so maybe adhere to their rules to keep peace. Alternatively, move out and do whatever you want.

I'm not seeing them being able to accept your relationship choices. Moon squares Sun next, tension. Mars/Saturn square, Venus conjunct SN.
 

astrobunny

Well-known member
Well you live under your parent's roof, so maybe adhere to their rules to keep peace. Alternatively, move out and do whatever you want.

I'm not seeing them being able to accept your relationship choices. Moon squares Sun next, tension. Mars/Saturn square, Venus conjunct SN.
I will consider moving out from my Mom's as one of my next options. Thank you for pointing out those aspects. I almost missed my significantor's conjunction to the SN.
 

waybread

Well-known member
Thanks waybread. I didn't notice the bit about looking at a separate house for mom. Moon and Venus make no aspect, but doesn't the Moon aspect with the Sun, ruler of house of friends, next? Any chance a solution could be found in an interaction between friends and my mom? Or does it need to be a smooth aspect like a sextile or trine?

Now I'm confused. Why call these people "friends" twice, if you consider them to be committed lovers???

We can only respond to what you post.

A perfection of an aspect should be a favourable one. A square suggests that the meeting either wouldn't happen, or would not go well, if it did.
 

astrobunny

Well-known member
Now I'm confused. Why call these people "friends" twice, if you consider them to be committed lovers???

We can only respond to what you post.

A perfection of an aspect should be a favourable one. A square suggests that the meeting either wouldn't happen, or would not go well, if it did.
I wasn't referring to my boyfriend and girlfriend/partners/lovers then. I'm talking about friends in general that sentence.
 
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Rawiri

Well-known member
I think your reading of the chart is perfectly fine and you came to the right conclusion from it (which you probably already knew without the chart, mind you...which is often the case with such questions).

How important is their (particularly her) acceptance of it to you?
 

waybread

Well-known member
OK, but a huge, huge need in horary astrology is to be as clear as you can be about the question and any details you choose to provide. Traditionally, Dad is the 4th house and Mom is the 7th. Modernly, these get reversed. Regardless, I don't think Mom will be receptive, no matter who tries to talk to her.
 

astrobunny

Well-known member
I think your reading of the chart is perfectly fine and you came to the right conclusion from it (which you probably already knew without the chart, mind you...which is often the case with such questions).

How important is their (particularly her) acceptance of it to you?

Thanks for the confirmation that I'm interpreting those aspects right. It's disheartening to see evidence that it most likely won't work out, but her acceptance is not very important/a deal breaker for me. It would be nice, but I'm okay with not having it. She's only ever really approved of me going on dates with wealthy suitors, so I don't think I'm willing to sacrifice a chance at mutual love for her approval.
 
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astrobunny

Well-known member
OK, but a huge, huge need in horary astrology is to be as clear as you can be about the question and any details you choose to provide. Traditionally, Dad is the 4th house and Mom is the 7th. Modernly, these get reversed. Regardless, I don't think Mom will be receptive, no matter who tries to talk to her.
Is the 7th house the one for Mothers traditionally or 10th? An astrologer sent me a PM about this chart and used the 10th for analysis about my mom. Was that incorrect?
 

katydid

Well-known member
Thanks for the confirmation that I'm interpreting those aspects right. It's disheartening to see evidence that it most likely won't work out, but her acceptance is not very important/a deal breaker for me. It would be nice, but I'm okay with not having it. She's only ever really approved of me going on dates with wealthy suitors, so I don't think I'm willing to sacrifice a chance at mutual love for her approval.

As a conservative/traditional mom myself, with my Cap moon, I sympathize with your mother's perspective. I ask that you try and see it from her POV a little bit.

I believe she has your best interests at heart. My Cappy Moon is very nervous about you becoming the 3rd wheel in an already committed relationship. It could become very dicey for you. What about their children? How are they going to handle all of this?

What happens if you like one way more than the other? Or if one of them tires of you? There are a lot of things for you to consider before you move in with them.

Look at the Mars/Saturn, ruler of the IC and DESC, in a tight square. I think that reveals some difficulties aheAd. Perhaps traumatic ones, in my opinion. :sad:

You are Venus, getting ready to fall into the South Node. Watch out for that rabbit hole, Alice.
 
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astrobunny

Well-known member
As a conservative/traditional mom myself, with my Cap moon, I sympathize with your mother's perspective. I ask that you try and see it from her POV a little bit.

I believe she has your best interests at heart. My Cappy Moon is very nervous about you becoming the 3rd wheel in an already committed relationship. It could become very dicey for you. What about their children? How are they going to handle all of this?

What happens if you like one way more than the other? Or if one of them tires of you? There are a lot of things for you to consider before you move in with them.

Look at the Mars/Saturn, ruler of the IC and DESC, in a tight square. I think that reveals some difficulties aheAd. Perhaps traumatic ones, in my opinion. :sad:

You are Venus, getting ready to fall into the South Node. Watch out for that rabbit hole, Alice.
I'm going to avoid moving in with them this early on, especially with that South Node's appearance, but I think taking the moving out option even with close friends is going to result in a lot of sadness for my mom and would be a major change for our household. If it makes you feel at ease, their children already know and one of them has been very supportive.

I do not know what will happen should one of them tire of me, but I know the promise was made that no one would like anyone over the other. I don't know if it matters but I think even if I broke up with them, I would encounter the malefic SN. Whatever I decide, I'm gonna try and make the best decision for me to live with myself when and after that SN encounter goes down.

For any idea on the Mars/Saturn conflict, I need to count the units to have an idea of time period right?
 

LovelyMissAries

Well-known member
Is the 7th house the one for Mothers traditionally or 10th? An astrologer sent me a PM about this chart and used the 10th for analysis about my mom. Was that incorrect?

Mom is not 7th, lol.

Edit. Should be in the CA book (go to Tik's signature)

Here we go! Should be near the bottom of the page: http://www.serenapowers.com/horary.html

SerenaPowers isn't normally a go-to but its true, Mother is the 10th house.
 
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waybread

Well-known member
Is the 7th house the one for Mothers traditionally or 10th? An astrologer sent me a PM about this chart and used the 10th for analysis about my mom. Was that incorrect?

Traditionally the 10th is the mother and the 4th is the father. Modern astrologers tend to reverse them.

Astrobunny, how well do you know this couple? You're (Venus) in the 5th house of casual love affairs, or sex-for-fun; not the house of committed relationships.
 
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astrobunny

Well-known member
Traditionally the 10th is the mother and the 4th is the father. Modern astrologers tend to reverse them.

Astrobunny, how well do you know this couple? You're (Venus) in the 5th house of casual love affairs, or sex-for-fun; not the house of committed relationships.
Five months. A fifth house placement makes sense to me bc it's new and romanticy. If you want to talk non-astrology, I think the discussion needs to move to PMs because forum rules.
 

katydid

Well-known member
I'm going to avoid moving in with them this early on, especially with that South Node's appearance, but I think taking the moving out option even with close friends is going to result in a lot of sadness for my mom and would be a major change for our household. If it makes you feel at ease, their children already know and one of them has been very supportive.

I do not know what will happen should one of them tire of me, but I know the promise was made that no one would like anyone over the other. I don't know if it matters but I think even if I broke up with them, I would encounter the malefic SN. Whatever I decide, I'm gonna try and make the best decision for me to live with myself when and after that SN encounter goes down.

For any idea on the Mars/Saturn conflict, I need to count the units to have an idea of time period right?

The bolded portion above concerns me. How can anyone truly make a 'promise' like that? It is not possible to control how much you like someone or not.

It makes me worry that they are seeing you as an 'object' that they are bringing in to help spice up 'THEIR' marriage. I see that as a symptom of the mars/saturn square. :sad:

The Moon is in an applying square to the Sun. I see that is the future implosion in the entire situation.
 
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