Yanel
Well-known member
Hello! So I have a question that is probably more psychological than health or body oriented. Are there any indications in my chart of compulsive behaviour concerning my body image and diet? For almost 2 years I've been dieting. I wouldn't say it was unhealthy because the diet was prescribed from a doctor and the result I thought I strived for was body cleansing. Now I changed the way I eat and made it more diverse and less restricting. A certain fitness site inspired me - it's all about not looking at food as your enemy and working out every day so the blood flows easily, the organs get more oxygen and your whole body has more energy. I'm keeping this regime but I haven't rid myself of the side of my personality that is control-driven and makes me so conscious of what body figure I strive to keep. For example, I eat at certain times of the day(I mean, I wait for the exact hour so I can sit and eat) food that I have decided is suitable for the particular meal and I feel bad and out of control if I don't have this regime to follow. If I don't follow it there is chaos and there is me over-indulging in chocolate and cake and muffins and pie and all the food from heaven xD. But of course I don't feel good about it, I will do that for a couple of days and then make myself a new strict and healthy regime. The regime itself is reasonable but I know what stands behind it - perfectionism. I cannot let myself have a few pounds over what I want. Sometimes I don't want to weigh myself so I don't start obssessing over dieting again. The only two things that prevent me from a more radical diet is my incomparable laziness and my big love for good food(really big). I know I will never deprive myself of food and I have never truly been fasting - all I do is constantly criticising myself and thinking of ways to get rid of those two pounds I have gained without even knowing how. I feel good about myself and have control over my mind and body only if I'm being strict and work out regularly - I can't feel real control in other parts of my life, looking after my body makes me feel disciplined, something I completely lack in the areas I need to feel disciplined in.
I know that bulimia and anorexia are real issues and a lot of people hide them and can never be diagnosed with such psychological ilnesses and I know that my mindset is the potential mindset for developing such a state but I also don't think that turning your back on the part of yourself that's creating such a problem is the best thing to do. What if that part of yourself is also the way of coping with it? Being strict with teh wrong diet is bad but you also have the potential of being strict with the right diet and the right way of living.
I know that bulimia and anorexia are real issues and a lot of people hide them and can never be diagnosed with such psychological ilnesses and I know that my mindset is the potential mindset for developing such a state but I also don't think that turning your back on the part of yourself that's creating such a problem is the best thing to do. What if that part of yourself is also the way of coping with it? Being strict with teh wrong diet is bad but you also have the potential of being strict with the right diet and the right way of living.
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