Big time stalker,making my friend's life difficult

This is the chart of my best friend's ex boyfriend.THey had been together for almost 3 years and during that time they broke up a lot of times,she was always the one to break up but he always made her come back to him.Now,it seems they are broken up for good,but he is making it so hard for her to move on...

This guy is the biggest stalker I have ever seen.He is rude,agressive and ill-mannered and has even been violent to her at times,I don't know why she only decided to break up with im now,I guess it was only now that she found the strenght needed to do so.He must always have everything his way,is incredibly jealous and would try to control every single aspect of her life,wouldn't even allow her to go out with her friends!He has the most horrible temper and is quite whimsical too,his moods are always up and down and he changes his mind out of the blue.He has made the past three years very difficult for her...and seems like he is now willing to make the future times a complete disaster as well.

This guy is an intense stalker,ever since they broke up he calls me everyday and asks me if I am with my friend...I don't even know how he got my cellphone number!He has even gone to my house,I wasn't home so he asked my mum if my friend was at my place,then he asked if I was home,and then he finally left.Every time they break up he stalks her,parks in front of her door late at night,doesn't stop calling her on her cellphone,insists she will go back to him wether she likes it or not.Now that he sees she has really made up her mind he keeps on trying to get her back and,with him calling me everyday to see if I am with her or if I know where my friend is and showing up at my door asking for her,I'm starting to feel a little bit stalked too.

This afternoon he just made the craziest thing.I was home ironing when my cellphone started ringing,I picked up the phone and it was him...once again I must stress I don't even know how he got my cellphone number...he asks me if I am with my friend,I say know,and then I tell him "Well I think she is at the physiotherapy"...Now I know I shouldn't have said that,but honestly,at the time,it didn't even occurred to me he would show up at the hospital,waiting for her..He did not only wait for her,he brought two friends with him,and then he was very rude and agressive to my friend's physioteraphist,a young woman who happens to be on a friendly base with her and drives her home after every session;then,he chased my friend as the physioterapist was driving her home,the physioteraist even wanted to call the cops,but my friend insisted it would be better not to...So my friend called her older brother who went on his car and had a chat with her ex boyfriend...the guy was quite rude to my friend's brother too..And insisted he only wanted to make amends...And even showed the flowers he had brought for my friend!

My question is,why does this guy have to be like this????I feel so awful now,knowing what I put my friend through with my silly mistake!


The thing that strikes me the most is the Moon/Pluto square,especially in the two 'power signs'-Scrorpio and Leo...I guess he just feels entitled to get what he wants and,when he doesn't,he just throws a big tantrum.BUt there's got to be more to it!His chart puzzles me,he has such 'easy going' aspects-of course the Moon/Pluto square is a big one and shouldn't be overlooked but he has a tight Moon/Jupiter cnjunction trining his Sun after all...shouldn't that be the make up a well balanced,cheerful,positive individual?This guy surely has the whole world spining around him and he is quite good at getting people to like him,but,believe me,he has the most horrible temper!Why does he have to be like this??

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Re: Big time stalker,making my friend's life a living hell

Hm, I would post the synastry/composite chart if I were you. Maybe something about her brings out something in him.
But yes, Moon square Pluto can get obsessive.

Re: Big time stalker,making my friend's life a living hell

Moon/Jupiter conjunction in Leo seems like a deeply emotional person who will express them. Putting that square to Pluto would seem like a problem. A Jupiter square will normally be expressed negatively as the person exaggerating or overdoing the situation.

The guy also has a lot of Capricorn (Mercury, Saturn, Neptune, Uranus, Chiron, True Node). Capricorns can be ambitious and lack emotional depth, which can make it hard for them to empathise without others.

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Re: Big time stalker,making my friend's life a living hell

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Re: Big time stalker,making my friend's life a living hell

Hi there Polo!

I am posting the synastry but I don't think that is the key,I dn't see anything standing out...They have Mars conjunct Mars but that's it...

Inside Out Orange thank you for your reply,I also believe the Moon/Jupiter/Pluto thing is crucial...Interesting with the Capricorn stellium,even though my friend has a Cappy stellium of her own and she isn't unemotional at all.

I just noticed-this guy has no water in his chart apart from Chiron(his wounds)and his ascendant-difficulty in relating to other people's emotions?

Re: Big time stalker,making my friend's life a living hell

Re: Big time stalker,making my friend's life a living hell

I know,I know,my mom has talked about it too,I have told my friend time over time that she should call the cops and get a restraining order on him,but that is hard to do when you love someone and,as you can imagine,that is the case with her...My mom has even warned me about the fact that this guy may very well be a psychopath,my mom is not dumb and she has seen the way this guy is so controlling and possessive over her and she is truly worried.I have my dad on my side,my dad too knows the things this crazy maniac does so he has my back,but my friend lives only with her mom and she doesn't talk to her dad about this things,her brother has just started to realise how this guy really is so she doesn't have much protection on her side...

This must all be so overwhelming for her,if it is stressful for me I just don't want to imagine how it must feel for her,being chased in such a way by the guy she has once loved so much.Before this she felt kind of lonely and unloved,I guess that's the main reason why she couldn't just let him go,as this guy is truly devoted to her(in his completely off the beat.maniac way)and loves her to the point of obsession,but I am so glad that now she has finally opened her eyes.He has even gone to the point of telling her 'If I can't have you,nobody will'..can you imagine that?

Once again,I am interested in this chart as a case study;I have the feeling it must go beyong the Moon/Jupiter-Pluto thing,although,as I have said before,I am sure it plays a big part into this.I look at his chart and I simply don't see a maniac...he has so many nice aspects and placements!

Least aspected Venus and Pluto, to Lissa

Lissa,

You asked:

Lissa said:

This is the chart of my best friend's ex boyfriend...This guy is rude,agressive and ill-mannered and has even been violent to her at...insisted he only wanted to make amends...My question is,why does this guy have to be like this????

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I think the least aspected (relationships) :conjunct (energy is combined with) Midheaven (outer world) :conunct: (self-expression, also ego) indicate that he OVERdoes in using his ego in his relationships in the outer world. The "my way is right all others are wrong" I think is indicated by his having luto: (transformation, also power) (energy needs to be combined with) (expansion, also wisdom), which indicates he wants to overpower others with his own knowledge of the "true" way to do everything. More here:
http://www.astrologyweekly.com/astrological-aspects/jupiter-square-pluto.php

Relating on the dark side,

Tim

Hi there Tim,thank you for your interpretation!

I think your observation on Venus is spont on...plus,he totally expressed the 'less evolved' side of Venus in Sagittarius...a love for personal freedom and allergy to commitment,I think he has cheated on her and in the beggining of their relationship he was always flirting with other girls...he pretty much does whatever he wants,goes out with friends whenever he feels like,then he tries to restrict his life...

I guess he sees himself as 'all-mighty' and powerful...entitled to get what he wants when he wants and the way he wants it.I was focusing more on the Moon/Jupiter square Pluto as a whole but if we look them apart the Jupiter-Pluto square is great for overdoing anything...with Jupiter in Leo and Pluto in Scorpio,'overdoing' his ego and his needs.And pushing them over everybody else around.

Ooops,sorry for the thread title!

Lissa, I hope my fellow moderators will forgive me for a non-astrological comment, but the issue isn't what is going on in this man's chart. It is how to ensure that your friend, you, and your friend's associates stay safe.

Where I live in Canada, stalking is a criminal offense. Its other name is "criminal harassment."

Rockfish is absolutely correct. If for some reason the police seem unhelpful, then your friend should contact an attorney. Some stalkers do "progress" from following their target and making harassing phone calls to violent crimes, up to and including murder.

Chasing your friend in a vehicle is extremely dangerous as it easily could have resulted in an accident.

This problem isn't one to fool around with.

Without seeing his chart it is difficult to know why he does it. She has her Moon Pluto in challenging aspect from the 8th, a classic stalker situation affecting her 6th house of housing or she may have met him at work.
She has her part to play in the scenario and it is amazing how long women will put up with guys like this, reconciliation after reconciliation, hoping they will change and they never do.

Sometimes the sexual feelings are powerful and it gives a perverse thrill to the whole thing. But dominance, manipulation and betrayal are always an issue with this combination. Obsession is never real love and he wants to control her and really his feelings would be more like hate, a fine line as they say...........

Hi there Claire,the chart I posted is actually his

Thank you for your words Waybread,my friend said that if this guy chased her again she would go to the police.I too think this guy may run out of control,well,he was in a motorcycle and he wasn't supposed to enter in the higway but yet he drove into the highway just to chase her...

Stalking is a criminal offense here in Portugal too,but going to the police would be the last thing to do;she will only do it if he continues with such behaviour.My friend's family has warned this guy's family about the fact that he may very well end up in jail if he goes on like this.

Waybread,if it's not too much I would like to hear your astro opinion on this,you are usually very good with your interpretations.This chart puzzles me completely,I would have never thought a person with such chart would go to such extremes...Isn't his Sagittarius Sun supposed to make him easy going?

Lissa said:

This chart puzzles me completely,I would have never thought a person with such chart would go to such extremes...Isn't his Sagittarius Sun supposed to make him easy going?

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Try reading through these:
http://www.astrologyweekly.com/astrological-aspects/pluto-square-jupiter.php
http://www.astrologyweekly.com/astrological-aspects/pluto-square-moon.php

and add to that a Sag sun - which can be a very immature expression in some younger people, that is until they develop the philosophical side of the Sag - and excessive obsession is what you have.

The 3 planets, Pluto, Jupiter & Moon form a very exclusive relationship, with no major aspects to other planets. This would have the effect of intensifying their influence over his whole chart.

Lissa, can you just let me know if you have a correct birth time for this man? I don't want to read anything into the houses if they're only an estimate that could be way off.

It is hard for me to say why this man should stalk your friend, because his chart doesn't look extraordinarily difficult; and he and your friend appear to be close to the same birth date. I note that he does have a Pluto square to Jupiter/Moon, as well as sun trine Jupiter/Moon; suggesting that he may feel so important (Leo, Jupiter) that no girl could possibly dump him. i.e., it's an ego (sun) thing to control (Pluto) her, perhaps; not so much true love. I hate to offend any Sagittarians out there, but sometimes people with the sun in this sign feel they know more than anyone else (not any readers of this thread, though!) so it is just possible that he feels he knows what is best for this relationship and everyone else is wrong.

Also, your friend appears to have moon conjunct Pluto, involving his Pluto in the synastry cha. Usually this gives the moon person the feeling of a fated attraction, however. So it is possible that even though your friend's common sense tells her that this man is no good for her, she sends out more intuitive, emotional vibrations that she is under his power (Pluto). For example, does her "no" really mean "no", or might she unconsciously send out signals to him that her "no" means "maybe"?

I wonder, too whether transiting Pluto hitting this man's Mercury might touch off obsessive thinking.

You might post a progressed chart for him.

waybread said:

I hate to offend any Sagittarians out there, but sometimes people with the sun in this sign feel they know more than anyone else (not any readers of this thread, though!) so it is just possible that he feels he knows what is best for this relationship and everyone else is wrong

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I tend to agree with that. Now, I have had many, many Sag friends throughout my life, plus a brother and my mother both being Sag.
But my ex-husband is also a Sag, and when he was a young man (when he was married to me) he would never ever admit to being wrong. The only way we could manage our r/ship was for me to `accept' he was right. Fortunately for his 2nd wife, he grew beyond thaat need.

waybread said:

I wonder, too whether transiting Pluto hitting this man's Mercury might touch off obsessive thinking.

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I also know of someone with Pluto-Moon square who is currently experiencing a tr Pluto aspecting his natal mercury, and he is currently so obsessed with his own intellect and ideas that he's unbearable to be around. Worse still, he does not listen to reason or rational veiwpoints from others.

If this is his correct chart Saturn is making a transit through his 7th house Saturn will demand only mature behavior in his relationships and nothing less. This guy is only 19 years old. He hasn't even gone through his Saturn return yet. This transit of Saturn is making a T-square to his 9th house sun so he had better be careful of the law which will certainly teach him a lesson. His Pisces ascendant makes him play the victim role quite easily. Certainly not a very attractive trait in a man.
He does have a Moon/Jupiter Pluto square. Giving him the potential to get overly emotionally fixated. I am hoping that by the time Saturn leaves the tight orbs of influence he will retreat.
The Ten Minute Astrologer

Hi everyone,

This guy has calmed down a bit even though he is still after her so for now it's OK.I just wanted to thank you all for looking at this chart and yes,it has a correct birth time...Once again,thank you

I'm very very glad.

The Ten Minute Astrologer