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  #26  
Unread 08-14-2012, 08:22 PM
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Re: To those who have been severely depressed

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i own some properties. and I have daydreamed about the way in which to run it for a lot of time. also i have thought of ways to seek funding too, and contemplated the details. i should have already jumped like the kangaroo on some of this stuff but ....
I think starting an organic farm would be the best thing for you to do.

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  #27  
Unread 08-14-2012, 09:11 PM
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Re: To those who have been severely depressed

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So you would like to create art that causes change?
well, art does cause changes because by creating anything, you end up altering the topography of what you experience.
the issue with that though is that people haven't acknowledged how much change I can do, so I'm left feeling as if I've done nothing and that whatever I do doesn't mean that much. Everyone has their own view on what is important (and usually it is placed in themselves and their own opinions).
The mistake I made is that I was led to believe that people actually cared about what I was doing, but what I was doing turned out to be just something to entertain others.
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  #28  
Unread 08-14-2012, 11:29 PM
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Re: To those who have been severely depressed

there is a possibility that there is no such thing as meaning. that all there is, is perspective.
i know that it can be a very tough, enduring battle to maintain a positive and worthwhile perspective, but with work and a daily routine of affirmation it may be possible.
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  #29  
Unread 08-15-2012, 12:44 AM
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Re: To those who have been severely depressed

Meaning is what gives perspective. If we didn't have a sense of meaning then we would just be vegetables staring off into space or soaking in the sun.
Also, a routine of affirmation is a mute point because to be simply here is an affirmation to exist. There's no escaping some sort of affirmation. We spend all our younger years affirming that we'll grow up to be something and when we grow up it's like all the promises that were told are now broken, revealed as a shroud meant to keep us complacent within our vulnerable soft shell. Then all of a sudden we're suppose to somehow make our shells harder and further close ourselves in and constrict us more- or harden it so that we can push against other shells and soften them.
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  #30  
Unread 08-15-2012, 01:33 AM
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Re: To those who have been severely depressed

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Meaning is what gives perspective. If we didn't have a sense of meaning then we would just be vegetables staring off into space or soaking in the sun.
Also, a routine of affirmation is a mute point because to be simply here is an affirmation to exist. There's no escaping some sort of affirmation. We spend all our younger years affirming that we'll grow up to be something and when we grow up it's like all the promises that were told are now broken, revealed as a shroud meant to keep us complacent within our vulnerable soft shell. Then all of a sudden we're suppose to somehow make our shells harder and further close ourselves in and constrict us more- or harden it so that we can push against other shells and soften them.
Prominent I have discovered that nothing outside will ever make me happy or satisfied. It *****...because we are told that things will. Or that romance will...I think we live in a VERY unhappy society right now. Many people are looking around saying, 'why am I never satisfied? why am I never happy? when do I catch a break?'...

This world is now squeezing people alive. Some more than others. The answer is not to make shells harder, but to take off the shell.
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  #31  
Unread 08-15-2012, 01:36 AM
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Re: To those who have been severely depressed

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well, art does cause changes because by creating anything, you end up altering the topography of what you experience.
the issue with that though is that people haven't acknowledged how much change I can do, so I'm left feeling as if I've done nothing and that whatever I do doesn't mean that much. Everyone has their own view on what is important (and usually it is placed in themselves and their own opinions).
The mistake I made is that I was led to believe that people actually cared about what I was doing, but what I was doing turned out to be just something to entertain others.
Very few artists stuck around long enough to notice the effects of their art work and even musicians and actors/actresses. Sometimes you are called to just do and trust that your work will play some part eventually. And what do you mean 'entertain' others? Were they making fun of you?
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  #32  
Unread 08-15-2012, 01:59 AM
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Re: To those who have been severely depressed

If you take off the shell, you'll just become absorbed within everything. We're already becoming absorbed within the flood of information and data- the answer isn't to remove our shell but to understand why we have one and that it is okay to use it.

By entertaining, I mean that others use you like some expendable asset- they don't think deep enough to really deal with what they are handling in the ways they should be handled. There have been so many times where I've been promised certain things or been given assurance of things that would happen, and in most cases they would end up being lies or promises that never are carried through, sometimes even to the extent that I am put on the side and disrespected when I'm not utilized in the best ways but rather dealt with like it's an afterthought. I've become tired of expecting what people say will happen, and I'm not going to let myself be taken into those types of situations again. People need to say what they mean and back it up. There's a reason why I'm a quiet person in real-life- because I want to be sure that if I do say something, I'm speaking truthfully and not simply saying stuff to sound social-able.
But hey, maybe some of it was my own fault- but a lot of why I am the way that I am is because other people have given me certain outlooks on life and I tend to feel like I see clear enough to understand what is really happening, or maybe I'm just more willing to speak the truth when most people are either oblivious to it or are afraid to put a focus on it.
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  #33  
Unread 08-15-2012, 02:00 AM
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Re: To those who have been severely depressed

I'm actually thankful to Saturn because it keeps my head cool.
It's trine and sextile to moon opposite mercury..
it's helpful to stay clear, even with superhard saturn transit through 3rd house, conjunct South Node and Pluto, and opposite Sun.
It makes me feel proud, because I realise now how mature, strong, patient and realistic I can be when my world turns upside down..

-what doesn't kill you, makes you indeed stronger-

Last edited by fullmoonlibra; 08-15-2012 at 02:23 AM.
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  #34  
Unread 08-15-2012, 02:10 AM
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Re: To those who have been severely depressed

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If you take off the shell, you'll just become absorbed within everything. We're already becoming absorbed within the flood of information and data- the answer isn't to remove our shell but to understand why we have one and that it is okay to use it.
The shell is what makes the world as is. Everything/everyone was from the same place and unto that place will we all go. There is no 'self'...you are not, under any circumstances, independent. Your clothes, food, electronics, car, water, etc. were made by hundreds of millions of people. You are totally dependent on others and other things (plants, animals, the sun). We are not 'shelled', it just feels like we are.

Quote:
I've become tired of expecting what people say will happen, and I'm not going to let myself be taken into those types of situations again. People need to say what they mean and back it up. There's a reason why I'm a quiet person in real-life- because I want to be sure that if I do say something, I'm speaking truthfully and not simply saying stuff to sound social-able.
I've been through the same thing countless times. People promising internships or jobs or to call this or that person and they don't do anything and eventually ignore me. It is a by product of society now (and the physical world in general), but also do you think that maybe you are getting a message somehow by god/the universe/whatever?
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  #35  
Unread 08-15-2012, 02:25 AM
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Re: To those who have been severely depressed

I understand that the shell is basically the world that is wrapped around you. I know that there is a Self, because I have a perspective that is unique to my own view. Maybe we all share the same Self, but from my vantage point I can proclaim it as being mine, just as you can proclaim it being yours. The Self is real and to doubt it is to doubt your own existence, everything you know is true.
The Self exists through everything and empties out into nothing where it becomes everything again. Just because I share it with everyone doesn't mean that I don't have a Self or that I can't proclaim it as mine. I can rightfully say it is mine because I am here doing it/proving it.
The only message I've seemed to be able to discern from my situations is that people don't understand me enough. So I'm working on learning how to communicate that more effectively by trying to understand what exactly I represent so that I can imprint myself into the world.
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  #36  
Unread 08-15-2012, 02:46 AM
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Re: To those who have been severely depressed

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.
The Self exists through everything and empties out into nothing where it becomes everything again. Just because I share it with everyone doesn't mean that I don't have a Self or that I can't proclaim it as mine. I can rightfully say it is mine because I am here doing it/proving it.
The only message I've seemed to be able to discern from my situations is that people don't understand me enough. So I'm working on learning how to communicate that more effectively by trying to understand what exactly I represent so that I can imprint myself into the world.
I think communicating more effectively is a good step and I think you are doing that now because before I had no idea what you were talking about and now I can understand you perfectly.
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  #37  
Unread 08-15-2012, 03:43 AM
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Re: To those who have been severely depressed

i relate somewhat to what Prominent has said about being misunderstood and communication. the problem is is that a word is a bunch of lines composing letters constructing words that everyone may or may not define the same way.

yea, speaking the language is something you may have to re learn to do if you travel too far outside the atmosphere.
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  #38  
Unread 08-15-2012, 05:18 AM
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Re: To those who have been severely depressed

sometimes I surprise myself with the things I say. Like I'd read back on stuff I said and find ways of reinterpreting it.

sometimes my mood effects how i interpret stuff too- that's probably the case with anyone though unless they are emotionless..
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  #39  
Unread 08-15-2012, 01:31 PM
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Re: To those who have been severely depressed

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Originally Posted by Fifth House Sun View Post
i relate somewhat to what Prominent has said about being misunderstood and. the problem is is that a word is a bunch of lines composing letters constructing words that everyone may or may not define the same way.

yea, speaking the language is something you may have to re learn to do if you travel too far outside the atmosphere.
I have traveled many times outside the atmosphere...sometimes not knowing if I'd ever be truly functional in society again. But here I am. As einstein said, 'reality is merely an illusion, albeit a persistent one'...
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"In this world there's a kind of painful progress. Longing for what we left behind and dreaming ahead."
-Harper, Angels in America

*If I read a chart it is via the whole sign house system.*
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  #40  
Unread 12-22-2012, 01:55 PM
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Re: To those who have been severely depressed

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I am not talking about people who have been depressed from time to time, but those who have had severe mental challenges, even to the point of obsessively thinking about killing or hurting themselves their whole lives. Where they have tried to do everything they can to try to help themselves (meds, therapy, meditation, etc.) but still struggle everyday.

What do you think is your cause?...Can you find any meaning in it?
For me, the cause was the inability to consolidate my spiritual ideal of love / acceptance of myself and others, with the real world isolation, deprivation of, and total indifference to that love, by other people. It is very hard not to enter such deep depression, when you cannot gain the inner sustenance you need to survive, if what you give is never returned.

I guess it opened me up creatively. I got through it by writing poetry, pages and pages, to release how i felt. Another thing that helped was listening to music, which helped me realise I wasn't alone, and somebody out there understood.
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  #41  
Unread 12-22-2012, 02:17 PM
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Re: To those who have been severely depressed

Interesting thread...............

I have had depression since i was very young and severe mental challenges. Finally after many many psychiatrists I have been diagnosed with borderline personality disorder

Apparently its quite common and occurs in different forms though there is not cure or medication that helps

Ive been on a waiting list for therapy for 18 months and still waiting!!!
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  #42  
Unread 12-23-2012, 05:39 PM
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Re: To those who have been severely depressed

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Interesting thread...............

I have had depression since i was very young and severe mental challenges. Finally after many many psychiatrists I have been diagnosed with borderline personality disorder

Apparently its quite common and occurs in different forms though there is not cure or medication that helps

Ive been on a waiting list for therapy for 18 months and still waiting!!!
There are drugs that can help borderline personality disorder. Depending how yours appears (anxiety/depression/anger/etc.)...Like you shouldn't be taking antipsychotics if you are very depressed and anxious. Omega 3 (high doses) helps in cases of depression. May be worth a try while waiting for therapy ...
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"In this world there's a kind of painful progress. Longing for what we left behind and dreaming ahead."
-Harper, Angels in America

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  #43  
Unread 12-23-2012, 07:38 PM
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Re: To those who have been severely depressed

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Originally Posted by tee_jay66 View Post
Interesting thread...............

I have had depression since i was very young and severe mental challenges. Finally after many many psychiatrists I have been diagnosed with borderline personality disorder

Apparently its quite common and occurs in different forms though there is not cure or medication that helps

Ive been on a waiting list for therapy for 18 months and still waiting!!!
Published on 15 Aug 2012

"....Is there a definitive line that divides crazy from sane? With a hair-raising delivery, Jon Ronson, author of The Psychopath Test, illuminates the gray areas between the two. (With live-mixed sound by Julian Treasure and animation by Evan Grant.)
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=xYemnKEKx0c

TEDTalks is a daily video podcast of best talks/performances fromTED Conference, where world's leading thinkers/doers give the talk of their lives in 18 minutes (or less). TED means Technology, Entertainment, Design. TEDTalks also cover science, business, global issues, the arts. Find closed captions and translated subtitles in a variety of languages at http://www.ted.com/translate ...."
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http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=82p-D...eature=related Hippocrates Let food be your medicine: let medicine be your food. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=cvz9uSK3zXo Rosencrantz & Guildenstern are Dead Tom Stoppard http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=KchhSIVwMdY Every exit is an entrance to somewhere else. VETTIUS VALENS FREE http://www.csus.edu/indiv/r/rileymt/...s%20entire.pdf
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  #44  
Unread 12-23-2012, 10:49 PM
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Re: To those who have been severely depressed

I am currently experiencing depression due to the loss of my best friend who died in a fire with his oldest child. Grief causing depression and withdrawal from the world. Having experienced long term depression in the past, I have found the only ways out have to do with other people's support and turning toward Love and Light (IE the DIVINE in other people).
Time also seems to be part of the healing equation. Time allows us to realize that we can indeed have a life after a great loss but this requires patience and healing. Also I experience grief depression in periods of waves that seem to wash over me.
At times I try and run away from the pain of depression to no avail. It seems to work better if I run into the pain and not be afraid of experiencing it.
Also, having been an RN for more than 40 years, I must admit that sometimes the chemical processes require support in terms of drug therapy. The important thing to remember is that drug therapy must be accompanied by face to face personal therapy in order to really work.
The problem right now in America is that the health system is collapsing upon itself in the face of corporate greed and governmental insensitivity to the needs of the most vulnerable among us.
I am seeing more severely depressed people looking for help from the health industry than ever before and the health system is not really recognizing their needs. Let alone attempting to assist them.
Without the help for mental illnesses, I fear American will face many more outbreaks of violence and chaotic human behaviors.
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  #45  
Unread 12-24-2012, 01:55 AM
Neptune Rising Neptune Rising is offline
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Re: To those who have been severely depressed

For me, some of my hardest times have involved Chiron transits with Neptune to Sun/Moon transits. I already have strong Neptune influences in my chart, with the positives and negatives. In relation to the first post, I haven't been depressed for years. But, I've had dips of despair during transits mentioned above. When I was in my early 20s, I was going through a Neptune and Uranus in conjunct to my natal Sun. Not sure why I bring it towards astrology, but there ya go. I did try to take my life a few times, I was also in a very abusive relationship. Now I'm a fair bit older but undergoing various hard transits including Neptune to progressed Sun/Moon, and feeling totally lost due to various things happening in my close family. I contemplate disappearing, I guess that is part of the Neptune influence, including Pluto. I am also not one for therapy, talking to a stranger no matter how qualified (unless they are an astrologer, tarot reader or spiritual healer ) But I know I won't do as I did before because I have learned through that, that there is a place beyond the suffering in this life, once we go through the suffering, let it happen. Now, when I am in pain, I don't suppress it, I allow myself to cry, to release whatever it is that is stuck inside. In the situation, it seems black and white, but there is an alternative, if it is just allowed to happen.

That's that I've learned, my lesson, anyhow.
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  #46  
Unread 12-24-2012, 03:42 AM
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Re: To those who have been severely depressed

I have always suffered from mild depression/ negative thinking. It is not about normal stuff though, I am constantly worried about terrorism, natural disasters, dying, my family dying. It just puts me in a panic which turns into depression. I blame my 12th house saturn for these irrational fears. It probably doesn't help that saturn is retrograde too.

About 2 years ago transiting saturn made a square to my ascendant in capricorn ...after that I began feeling severely depressed to the point that I didn't get out of bed or eat. Did anyone else experience the saturn square ascendant transit? The blessing was though that during my hard time with this transit, my family was really there for me and we became a lot closer. I do think hard saturn transits have a way of putting you through hell, but teaching you a valuable lesson in the process.
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  #47  
Unread 12-24-2012, 11:17 AM
tee_jay66 tee_jay66 is offline
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Re: To those who have been severely depressed

Quote:
Originally Posted by knowhow999 View Post
I am currently experiencing depression due to the loss of my best friend who died in a fire with his oldest child. Grief causing depression and withdrawal from the world. Having experienced long term depression in the past, I have found the only ways out have to do with other people's support and turning toward Love and Light (IE the DIVINE in other people).
Time also seems to be part of the healing equation. Time allows us to realize that we can indeed have a life after a great loss but this requires patience and healing. Also I experience grief depression in periods of waves that seem to wash over me.
At times I try and run away from the pain of depression to no avail. It seems to work better if I run into the pain and not be afraid of experiencing it.
Also, having been an RN for more than 40 years, I must admit that sometimes the chemical processes require support in terms of drug therapy. The important thing to remember is that drug therapy must be accompanied by face to face personal therapy in order to really work.
The problem right now in America is that the health system is collapsing upon itself in the face of corporate greed and governmental insensitivity to the needs of the most vulnerable among us.
I am seeing more severely depressed people looking for help from the health industry than ever before and the health system is not really recognizing their needs. Let alone attempting to assist them.
Without the help for mental illnesses, I fear American will face many more outbreaks of violence and chaotic human behaviors.

Firstly I am so sorry to hear of your grief and the fact that your friend died in terrible circumstances. Unfortunately it is only time....and lots of time that starts to distance us from the pain. My heart goes out to you

I also wanted to ask about mental health aid in America. Im in GB and always read american self help books. They all state that americans should choose their therapy carefully. I thought it wa a lot easier there because you pay insurance for medical help...then surely you choose your help when you need it? Am I wrong...does insurance not cover options?

Ialways felt that we brits have a raw deal with the nhs because it is free therefore we do not have any say or option what help we receive and often on waiting lists for years until we see some therapist that we end up not liking anyway...but the bad thing is we have no choice, its either that therapy or nothing.

I really thought americans could choose with care. The american self-help books seem to state..to choose your therapist with care and if you dont like them choose another??
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