When is it okay to spoil people's illusions?
- Thread starter Moog
- Start date
I take the stance that there are no illusions, however, is having your "illusions" spoiled really avoidable if you're not considering everything due to it? Because in my opinion, an illusion is only an illusion if you're getting mislead and can't see where you're going- Eventually you bump into something unintentionally, and whether you like it or not, it hurts.
That's just one way that I see it..
That's just one way that I see it..
tautomer
Well-known member
I do it all the time. It's something I am known for, and have been since I was young.
If I heard someone state a falsehood or facade that they were imagining, I would correct them. Initially it was mostly with science. In preschool I remember once our teacher came up to us and said that little magic elves were stealing the water out of the cups we had on the window sill over the weekend. I said "no, they evaporated!". Needless to say she was somewhat shocked I said that. My peers seemed rather dissapointed in me. Things like that were persistent as I grew up.
Now I go beyond just that. I cut through individuals mental fog, and get to the heart of matters if they come to me asking for advice, or even if they don't ask. Fantasy worlds that cause a detriment to someone should in my opinion be removed as much as possible. They key is to know when to do it, and how to do it. Compassion and tact is key. I've learned through life. If you present something as too cold and calculated, people will dig in their heels. If it's done gently, they will learn and begin to process it.
So when is it ok? When it is causing the person harm, or it is hindering their growth. Spoil away. It's good for them. Just do it with gentleness and care. If it's just them having fun? Then I may let them keep it. Feeling magic to the world does create a great deal of happiness in many.
If I heard someone state a falsehood or facade that they were imagining, I would correct them. Initially it was mostly with science. In preschool I remember once our teacher came up to us and said that little magic elves were stealing the water out of the cups we had on the window sill over the weekend. I said "no, they evaporated!". Needless to say she was somewhat shocked I said that. My peers seemed rather dissapointed in me. Things like that were persistent as I grew up.
Now I go beyond just that. I cut through individuals mental fog, and get to the heart of matters if they come to me asking for advice, or even if they don't ask. Fantasy worlds that cause a detriment to someone should in my opinion be removed as much as possible. They key is to know when to do it, and how to do it. Compassion and tact is key. I've learned through life. If you present something as too cold and calculated, people will dig in their heels. If it's done gently, they will learn and begin to process it.
So when is it ok? When it is causing the person harm, or it is hindering their growth. Spoil away. It's good for them. Just do it with gentleness and care. If it's just them having fun? Then I may let them keep it. Feeling magic to the world does create a great deal of happiness in many.
JUPITERASC
Well-known member
"...The full title of an interesting speech is:
"Necessary Illusions: Thought Control in a Democratic Society". Professor Chomsky's remarks are drawn from his book "Manufacturing Consent: The Political Economy of the Mass Media", which deals with how the press' interpretation of events shapes societal views.
11 April 1989 American University Institute for Policy Studies..." http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=wi1WVEhlMh0
"Necessary Illusions: Thought Control in a Democratic Society". Professor Chomsky's remarks are drawn from his book "Manufacturing Consent: The Political Economy of the Mass Media", which deals with how the press' interpretation of events shapes societal views.
11 April 1989 American University Institute for Policy Studies..." http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=wi1WVEhlMh0
Linzul
Well-known member
I don't if there's a flat standard for this to be honest. Personally speaking, I don't do illusions with family ever. If they balk I'll back off, but they know it's appeasement rather than apology. I will respect an attempt to change the conversation without a fight. More often than not the topic comes up later after the person has a chance to reflect privately. It's not always smooth sailing though!
With friends I'm much more cautious. I tend to give safe answers to whatever the situation is. Unless they beat it like a dead horse, then I warn them that I actually do have a lot to say about it, is it fair game time? If they say yes then it's on. Like don't even try to stop me on, almost like a payback for the days and days and days of restraint. Or months, depending on what it is.
I can honestly say though that I never feel bad for doing it. Usually the person I'm talking to can hear me out, or move past it if initially offended. I always *always* use the "You asked for it..." defense!
With friends I'm much more cautious. I tend to give safe answers to whatever the situation is. Unless they beat it like a dead horse, then I warn them that I actually do have a lot to say about it, is it fair game time? If they say yes then it's on. Like don't even try to stop me on, almost like a payback for the days and days and days of restraint. Or months, depending on what it is.
I can honestly say though that I never feel bad for doing it. Usually the person I'm talking to can hear me out, or move past it if initially offended. I always *always* use the "You asked for it..." defense!
