Did I miss the love of my life?

Hello everyone!

I am new here, but have been in and out of studying synastry for several years. I am currently going through my first Saturn return. I just made a huge move back to my hometown after ten years living elsewhere. I am currently in a very happy (and open) relationship, but something happened the night of my goodbye party that changed the fabric of my DNA.

Attached is our synastry chart. Im on the inside.
(He told me he is a triple cancer, but I don't know his exact birth time.)

I am having such a hard time understanding why he has affected me so much after all these years. I think he has liked me for a long time, we have hooked up several times but always 'kept it casual.' That night it felt like he poured so much love into me, so many things unsaid. It absolutely did not feel casual, at all. I feel like my soul has been split in half upon moving across the country. I absolutely cannot stop thinking about what could have been. The 12th house action probably explains it.

I'm wondering what kind of role this person is meant to play in my life, and what this timing has to do with it. Is he just someone from my past giving me a hug along my journey? I wish I could give him all the love in the world, but I think I missed my chance. I was absolutely not capable of having a relationship back then, but it took me leaving after 10 years to realize that we could have been amazing together, and that he actually is the person of my dreams. Now we are both with other people.

Any insights would be appreciated. <3

The synastry is not an easy one, but at the moment transiting Uranus (irresistible lightening bolt) is transiting the Venus/mars conjunction in the synastry so you feel strongly physically attracted all of a sudden.
You were born close together in time, so generational planets are similar, but both of your personal planets are striking these heavy generational planets, and doesn't promise longevity.

ElenaJ said:

The synastry is not an easy one, but at the moment transiting Uranus (irresistible lightening bolt) is transiting the Venus/mars conjunction in the synastry so you feel strongly physically attracted all of a sudden.
You were born close together in time, so generational planets are similar, but both of your personal planets are striking these heavy generational planets, and doesn't promise longevity.

Click to expand...

What do you feel like is the hardest thing about it?
I definitely feel like Uranus has so much to do with it. I describe this re meeting as being hit in the face with a ton of bricks. It’s maddening!

ElenaJ said:

The synastry is not an easy one, but at the moment transiting Uranus (irresistible lightening bolt) is transiting the Venus/mars conjunction in the synastry so you feel strongly physically attracted all of a sudden.
You were born close together in time, so generational planets are similar, but both of your personal planets are striking these heavy generational planets, and doesn't promise longevity.

Click to expand...

Thank you! I definitely feel Uranus. I even described t as a ton of bricks that just hit me all of a sudden. I’m lucky to be in a supportive partnership so I’m not lining for this work out. I just was flabbergasted at how much attention and warmth he showered me with towards the end of my time there. What in your opinion are the most difficult aspects? On a positive end, I do feel like we emotionally just get other with very little effort. But communication is hard. Us triple Capricorn Saturn/Uranus/Neptune millennials have the absolute worst time expressing emotion.

Anitalavalatina said:

What do you feel like is the hardest thing about it?
I definitely feel like Uranus has so much to do with it. I describe this re meeting as being hit in the face with a ton of bricks. It’s maddening!

Click to expand...

The hardest part will be resisting the physical pull before you land up in what could be a negative contact.