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Ukpoohbear

Ukpoohbear

Well-known member
Ru33erDucky said:
I don't agree with that. Not for everyone. Have you ever made a mistake? Was it always intentional?

We have evolved to exhibit emotional responses that are so complex in their function and expression that in times of distress, or trauma, some of these circuits, or patterns, can be altered and the individual doesn't have the control over their response. So, considering the woman in question, she was very insecure for her own reasons. These weren't her fault. She was abused in her past relationships, abandoned as a child, bullied, among other things. I'm not justifying what she did, but I am explaining the causal factors to what led up to her actions. She experienced enough traumatic experiences, in her own right, that would have triggered her, given our circumstances, to behave the way she did. Sadly, she never decided to correct those issues of hers in the time-lapse of our relationship.

I didn't say someone who gas-lights you in evident that they "love" you, nor is it descriptive of an individual who is in love. But I do acknowledge that some people struggle deeply and their insecurities may take the best of them and they'll make mistakes. A good person would admit to those mistakes, take ownership, and apologize; seek to ensure they don't repeat their mistake again. That's not to say she did not love me. She eventually could not live with herself over what she had done and eventually left. She couldn't bare the skeletons that still hung in her closet. She indeed exhibited many traits that went up and beyond what most would consider love.

At one point, she cared for me deeply; and she cared for many years. I can't say that today. And nor do I believe that "true love" is conditional like that. But she did love me.

In regards to these primitive tendencies, we have witnessed this and see many examples where some will result to desperation while others will maintain their ground and remain relatively moral. The World Wars, Great Famines, the Black Plague are all great examples when you see a wide spectrum of responses to this. Some dissolve into very horrible characters while others continue to strive to remain virtuous and righteous.
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I don’t even want to argue about this. This is your issue and you tried it with Lykan before and now me. Stop winding people up by using sensitive issues against them.

You are almost gas lighting by trying to get a reaction.

Very unhealthy of you.
 
Ru33erDucky

Ru33erDucky

Banned
Ukpoohbear said:
I don’t even want to argue about this. This is your issue and you tried it with Lykan before and now me. Stop winding people up by using sensitive issues against them.

You are almost gas lighting by trying to get a reaction.

Very unhealthy of you.
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And this is why I'll never get along with Cancers. :lol:
 
conspiracy theorist

conspiracy theorist

Well-known member
On a serious note, Rubberduck is talking sense and he's coming from a place of experience having been involved in a relationship with a mentally ill woman whom he loved but was prone to gas lighting behaviour.

I would say your protest stinks of gas lighting, but you probably know that.
 
Ukpoohbear

Ukpoohbear

Well-known member
conspiracy theorist said:
Calling somebody unhealthy for not agreeing with you and explaining why? I thought you did your "shadow work".
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The thing is I don’t even know what we are disagreeing about. It seems pointless and like it is more his issue than mine and I don’t want to get involved. I have boundaries and I shouldn’t be judged as being a ‘cancer’ For expressing that although yes maybe I should be more patient and polite.
 
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