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  #51  
Unread 06-07-2016, 11:39 PM
Devinity21 Devinity21 is offline
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Question Re: Suicide and Astrology

I came across this thread whilst researching fixed stars & even though old thread i hope to gain a little peace of mind.
venusfriend has listed some of the suicidal fixed points in a female chart.
To start with, my nickname has always been Dee, I am a 37 years old female. I have 1 daughter, Lola.
Ebola was a rather bad taste nickname that seem to stick to her in the first few years due to typical childhood virus's of which i had never had any of and the spread of said virus at the time.
Coincidentally, DENEBOLA the fixed star of 21/19 Virgo is exact same degree as my north node of 21/19 Virgo. Kinda spooky.
My north node squares Mercury and Neptune and my Juno is at 21degrees of Aquarius.
I also have Venus is at 22degrees Scorpio,in 8th house, as is fixed star UNUKALHAI. My Saturn is at 13 degrees Leo, as is fixed star KOCHAB. I have moon & mercury at 13degrees of Capricorn & Aquarius, this then adds to the other two fixed stars at 13deg of Cancer & Aries, being Sirius and Eris.
I am currently going through a pluto transit pluto, starting a seemingly activation of my dark moon lilith.
I currently feel like all is beyond my control and though i don't particularly like society as a whole,due to overall selfish capitalist mentality of the masses, I believe I would never do that to my daughter & leave her without her mum.
Can anyone shed some light on whether this could actually point towards a fatal accident or disease involving my lungs or prediction of early death via accident or disease. is there anyway to deviate the action that all of these aspects point too, the more i read the less I wanna know or even venture into the world.

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  #52  
Unread 06-08-2016, 12:10 AM
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R4VEN R4VEN is offline
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Re: Suicide and Astrology

Without your chart to refer to I would not attempt any kind of answer to your questions.

And no responsible person on this site would attempt to predict your death. If they did their post would be removed.

We need a chart to come at it from wherever we are. I need to know where your Chiron is, as IMO it can give quite a clear picture of someone's mental/emotional state.
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  #53  
Unread 06-08-2016, 02:56 AM
Devinity21 Devinity21 is offline
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Re: Suicide and Astrology

astro_2gw_01_deahne_erin_letts.9803.18464.gif

Im not sure Ive uploaded my chart correctly, im sure ill find out soon enough, thank you for your response, it was a silly question really, my whole chart seems to contradict itself with so many oppositions from a stellium in 9th house to MC - AS & moons node, i understand the planet energies and areas they will present themselves, yet all the aspects seem to contradict considerably leaving me tad confused. Free will i understand, evil chess game i do not comprehend as well
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  #54  
Unread 06-08-2016, 03:39 AM
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Re: Suicide and Astrology

Thanks for the chart. I have redrawn it using astro.com, but leaving off the fixed stars, etc. For me, they do little more than confuse. I have also drawn your natal chart with accompanying transits, as that can shed light as to what is occurring now.

I have not the time at present to look into your chart too deeply, but the first thing which drew my attention was the close conjunction in Capricorn of your chart ruler (Mars) with your Moon. It is a driving force in your life. You are no doubt a survivor - one who is persistent and hard working. Being in Capricorn, this conjunction can also hide a deep, deep anger, which may be so deeply buried that you are mostly not in touch with it. All depression has anger beneath it. Without knowing anything about your personal story, I am curious about your relationship with your mother, as this may be the source of any buried anger.
It is relevant that transiting Pluto has been conjunct your Mars-Moon throughout much of 2015, returning again in Sep and Oct of 2016. Pluto demands that you dig deep and search for patterns in your life which are running things in your life. It will `dig up' anything which leads you to believing that you are unloved, and it will also force you to search for the reasons you may find yourself on the receiving end of the rage or anger of others.... and if you find that has been happening in your life, then it is your rage which is being reflected to you, rather than that of the other person/people.

Natally, Pluto squares the Moon-Mars conjunct, so you probably have a sense that you are controlled by others, which will feel like some kind of `external force'. The truth is that you were probably controlled while young - perhaps by both parents, but chiefly your mother - and yet without your parental figures in your everyday life currently, you can still feel controlled (= out of control) by an unconscious inner memory. It's more complicated than that, but that's just a quick description of how it works.

One thing which I think is important to acknowledge is that while significant Capricorn personal planets can confer a deep and perhaps melancholy nature, given your Moon-Mars closely trines Saturn (which is the ruler of Capricorn) you have a serious nature - which can dip into depressive states quite easily - but you are also persistent and resilient, and the moods which can feel overwhelming to you are not in charge of you, and nor do they define you.

Something else which is important is the Saturn square, and you are right in the middle of your first Saturn square after the Saturn Return at 29. Now, I used to teach in Women's Studies in TAFE, and I'd find so many women who enrolled in this course at the age of 37 - during their 2nd Saturn square after the Saturn Return. It can be a time of renewal. It is an opportunity for renewal, and it is a time when (women, in particular) begin to look at what they need to do to improve the physical/material and relationship circumstances of their life.

Be aware that transiting Chiron being in Pisces and transiting your 12th house, there will be quite a lot emerging from your own unconscious. Some of it may be real, and a lot of it will be feelings of pain, hurt and victimhood, which you have experienced in the past, but are no longer relevant, not if you want to improve your life, and how you feel.
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Last edited by R4VEN; 06-08-2016 at 04:25 AM.
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  #55  
Unread 06-08-2016, 03:59 AM
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Re: Suicide and Astrology

As I said, what I wrote above, while lengthy, is barely the tip of the iceberg.

Your Neptune-Mercury conj in 9th in Sag is something which can give you a powerful intuitive nature, but you must also be wary of deceiving yourself .. as well as others. Currently the transiting Neptune-Saturn square (which you also have natally, so the transit will affect you deeply) is probably pushing you to look at the reality of your life, rather than the way you wish it was. It is a process, and so must be experienced in its whole gut-wrenching glory. You are being pushed to figuring out what is real, as opposed to what is fantasy/wishful thinking/dreaming/longing.
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  #56  
Unread 06-12-2016, 10:02 PM
Devinity21 Devinity21 is offline
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Re: Suicide and Astrology

Thanking you kindly for your response, most of my chart analysis has been based around my "Hades Moon" some back ground into that.
I am the youngest of 4 kids all born within 5 yrs, needless to say i was a massive accident & my birth set off a chain of not so positive events, separation not long after & the eventual divorce of my parents when I was 3. I guess in some ways my mother may blame me for these events but i tend to lean more towards, she was scared, alone and had 3 other children to tend to as well, I believe my mother did the best she could in the circumstances she was presented but am also certain that her emotionally fragility at said time, effected me massively throughout childhood and very much right up to now. There really was no room for emotional weakness & I'm pretty sure the hidden messages, baby me picked up, were not so positive! She then met a very strong and obviously slightly insane man that moved us away from the volatile father, into remote part of north western Australia. He then set about creating a very strict and guided upbringing. He was tough but fair, my mother possibly was very grateful for his intervention and aligned her way of being to his, whether thru love or means of survival. though given all needs in a physical sense my childhood was void of emotional tolerance, I was always chastised as to my way of expressing myself,I"m sure this is at the core of what i like to call my "emotional autism" i seem to be inept at expressing and more often alienate myself to any emotional attachment. I swing from aloof and a seemingly non caring dis attachment from people & events to the total opposite at other times. This total imbalance makes relationships with just about anybody from lovers, to friends and family restrained, lets not even mention employers, as i am literally terrified by attaching my personality to my emotions, Im too empathetic, i get extremely upset and irrational about issues within society that SHOULD NOT exist & feel as though aggressive, violent & the selfish egotistical nature of man, effect me to the very core. I am aware that it is my thoughts that govern my disappointment to my surroundings & society as a general, over time i guess i just dont place thought, speech and emotions together too often, therefore unwittingly developing some serious flaws in my persona that i have no idea how to remove so i can ascend towards a happier more fulfilling latter life. All those years that I envisioned my life from a what i DONT WANT perspective, i have created this current lifepattern, which is lacking in any real love or respect of oneself & ability to ever place my trust in others, I believe i have such a undefined persona of self due to my own worth/loathing issues, negative imprints from every area of my life that I unwittingly have programmed myself to fail, all out of fear of acceptance.
I really do try to put myself out there but i honestly feel that every time i have displayed my true essence of my being to anyone, its been thrown back in my face. I know all the formulas and understand pretty much every step taken to arrive at this destiny of which i aint that happy with, Its the re-writting of the many lies ive told myself to protect my pride or heart that i am really struggling to re-write.
Up until 6 months ago, i worked with my father for 6 years, took me that long to realize i was chasing acceptance by someone whom i dont respect that much. I dont agree with his ideals and he treats me like i am a moron. I ended up having a baby with a man exactly the same and re-lived the same violence & calamity that my mother received from my father. I wish i could be more concerned & focused on what i want from my future than just gaining acceptance from people and a society that i don't even like or really want to be a part of. Monopoly affect - i withdraw and life gets worse, apparently by expressing my true self and accepting it, then using life experiences and wounds to heal others is the soul purpose of this incarnation. To bring to a conclusion, i dont want to help anyone anymore as its all i have ever done and it has lead me nowhere except used and abused. To suggest that we pick our challenges each time and we choose to learn these lessons, with the associations we have them with, just makes me more angry, cause that would be beyond stoopid and i could at least have been clever in the afterlife...surely
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