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  #1  
Unread 09-04-2012, 12:33 PM
a333fan a333fan is offline
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I can't seem to get along well with people?

Here's my birth chart :

http://alabe.com/cgi-bin/chart/astro...&Submit=Submit


My sun squares my ascendant and my moon conjuncts my Mars. I don't know why, but i always feel an urge to control and win others to make sure things go my way, and feelings of hate and anger actually feel more intense than other positive feelings. I cant get along with many people as a result.

I need some advice on this difficult birth chart.

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  #2  
Unread 09-04-2012, 04:17 PM
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aquarius7000 aquarius7000 is offline
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Re: I can't seem to get along well with people?

Hello,

For getting along with people, we should look at the 5th-11th axis/houses, the 1st-7th houses, and, of course, the Moon.

To begin with, you have an Aqua Asc, which tends to come across as a bit aloof and offbeat, sort of different from the rest in some way, so people might like sort of not know how to make the first move and approach you, even though they might find you interesting in your own way. But I think this is not much of a problem, as Aqua Asc may come across as unconventional and aloof, but also open to others and friendly. You also have quite a bit of fire and air in your chart (which is good in a way, with so much Sco (fixed) energy and an Aqua Asc (fixed energy again). The fire and air energy also makes you a 'do my own thing' person though, and one not wanting to be tied down. Especially your Moon says that being in Sag and conj Jup. You are an extremely freedom-loving person. Since the conj of the Moon to Jup is closer degreewise than its square to Sat, which would actually make it more Capricorn in nature (more steady, conventional, but sort of with an emotional wall around oneself), I would be interested in hearing as to which side you feel your emotional world leans more towards: more Sag, which is quite a bit like Aqua; or more Sat/Cap?

The challenge starts when people get to know you a bit better, past your Asc (first impressions). Your Dsc is in Leo (again fixed energy) with its ruler, the Sun, in Sco (fixed-sign energy again); and both these signs, in their own ways, are notorious for power plays. The problem with all that fixed energy is that you want to have your own way most always. If that does not happen, you may even turn bitter. With all that Sco energy, the problem then becomes a bit long-term, as Sco does not forget or give in easily. With Leo on the 7th house and its ruler in Sco, it could show that you tend to come across such people (controlling), or experience power plays in one-to-one relationships, or make others experience that at your hands. One of the reasons people might hesitate (even fear) going deeper in one-to-one relationships with a native with such energy. Plu (intense/extreme)-Ven (likes/dislikes) conj, with Ven in Sco is another aspect that only accentuates what I have just said.

If you want some advice, play out that Moon-Jup conj in Sag and Aqua Asc more. Be more jovial and lighthearted. This is something you need to take care of (power plays), as this could become a bit of a problem in your career life later, if you don't check these energies now, when you are so young. It is just what you describe: feelings of hate and anger. This more often is the case, on the downside, with Sco energies, especially with Plu (intense)-Ven (likes and dislikes), when things don't go your way. The task is to learn to practise balance. I am sure your Mer in Libra tells you that often enough. One of the reasons you are asking here perhaps.

By the way, the Moon-Mars is more the quick-to-anger anger aspect, or also the quick passion aspect, as in your interest in someone/things can be aroused soon. Another thing, that Moon in Sag conj Saturn can also make one come across as a bit of a know-it-all. When you feel that anger getting the better of you next time, count from 20 backwards. Better still: get into some phyiscal activity, like go out for a jog, and release those energies. That helps.

Best
AQ7
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Last edited by aquarius7000; 09-04-2012 at 06:07 PM.
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  #3  
Unread 09-05-2012, 04:02 AM
a333fan a333fan is offline
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Re: I can't seem to get along well with people?

Hi, what you said is so true. People generally think of me as innocent and off beat and withdrawn at first sight. I find it very easy to make friends. However, it is once they know me that they realize looks can be deceiving. After i know someone well, i try to influence them and after that, the ugly side turns out.

I also feel easily threatened. For example, i sense competition easily and worry that others may try to do better than me and it makes me so aggressive. I also try to influence and control others as i worry that they may betray me for new friends as such, but it always backfires and works the other way instead, losing friends, and when i make new friends, the vicious cycle starts again. It just gets on my nerves when friends that i really cherish make friends with people that I don't really like.

People also view me as rather eccentric and loud, and they think i'm a sag. i don't know why,(i think it could be the Aquarius ascendant) but sometimes i also have some sort of an urge to tease others and push their buttons just for the fun of it and people also say that i'm tactless and pass judgements very fast.

Worse still, some think i simply love to hate on others and think i'm just plain cruel and vindictive, even when that is not what i'm really trying to get across. I always feel so misunderstood.

As for the emotional side that you asked me, i think i'm more of a manic depressive. I feel extremely happy and enthusiastic and one moment and then all of a sudden when the realities of life come back to me i feel pessimistic and easily depressed, and i don't know why.

I read on many websites that Sun square ascendant people are aggressive, and so are people with moon conjunct mars. I have both. I feel like my personality was born as a mistake.
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  #4  
Unread 09-05-2012, 04:28 AM
sequestra sequestra is offline
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Re: I can't seem to get along well with people?

Quote:
Originally Posted by a333fan View Post
After i know someone well, i try to influence them and after that, the ugly side turns out.

...I also try to influence and control others as i worry that they may betray me for new friends as such, but it always backfires and works the other way instead, losing friends, and when i make new friends, the vicious cycle starts again. It just gets on my nerves when friends that i really cherish make friends with people that I don't really like.

...sometimes i also have some sort of an urge to tease others and push their buttons just for the fun of it and people also say that i'm tactless and pass judgements very fast.
You have this insight about yourself, which is great - have you tried applying it? I mean it's not like it's impossible for you "not" to control others. Your comprehension of the destruction this tendency can wrought is half the work done by you already. There are plenty of people out there with scarcely a clue why/how they alienate themselves, and/or if they do realize, feel too justified in their own behaviors to amend them.

FWIW, I have sun square ascendant, and was a bit of an a$$hat myself in a couple of the ways you described. Difference was, I wasn't conscious of it for a LONG time. When it was pointed out to me a few times (and an obvious pattern was developing), I made an effort to go about things differently. You have the power to change.
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C'est la vie. Life is a cruel mystery indeed, but I suppose I shall continue to torture myself anyway

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  #5  
Unread 09-05-2012, 04:39 AM
a333fan a333fan is offline
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Re: I can't seem to get along well with people?

It is possible to try not and control others, but i can't help feeling insecure when i do so. It's like i find it very hard to see the positive instead of the negative, and i am always suspicious of what others are doing. Recently, i have been trying to be more positive, but lots of damage has been done already.
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  #6  
Unread 09-05-2012, 04:41 AM
a333fan a333fan is offline
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Re: I can't seem to get along well with people?

Actually, i have also been quite mean for a long time. It's only after reading astrology and birth charts that i got such a shock because each of the descriptions just fits me so well!
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  #7  
Unread 09-05-2012, 08:01 PM
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Re: I can't seem to get along well with people?

Quote:
Originally Posted by a333fan View Post
Here's my birth chart :

My sun squares my ascendant and my moon conjuncts my Mars. I don't know why, but i always feel an urge to control and win others to make sure things go my way, and feelings of hate and anger actually feel more intense than other positive feelings. .
Quote:
Originally Posted by a333fan View Post
However, it is once they know me that they realize looks can be deceiving. After i know someone well, i try to influence them and after that, the ugly side turns out.

I also feel easily threatened. For example, i sense competition easily and worry that others may try to do better than me and it makes me so aggressive. I also try to influence and control others as i worry that they may betray me for new friends as such, but it always backfires and works the other way instead, losing friends, and when i make new friends, the vicious cycle starts again. It just gets on my nerves when friends that i really cherish make friends with people that I don't really like.

People also view me as rather eccentric and loud, and they think i'm a sag. i don't know why,(i think it could be the Aquarius ascendant) but sometimes i also have some sort of an urge to tease others and push their buttons just for the fun of it and people also say that i'm tactless and pass judgements very fast.

Worse still, some think i simply love to hate on others and think i'm just plain cruel and vindictive, even when that is not what i'm really trying to get across. I always feel so misunderstood.
This sounds like a big dose of the Scorpio polarity that is isolated, almost totally unintegrated with its positive aspects so it can ideally create psychological wholeness.

Sun in Scorpio, ruled by Mars in Sagittarius, a Mars that is a whole lot more closely conjunct Pluto in Scorpio than the Moon is!

When it gets to a point like you have described, it becomes self-indulgence on your part. That is, it is unrestrained gratification of your own desires, or whims, because there is a part of you that enjoys "being mean" and all that it implies. But as sequestra so aptly points out, you also understand exactly what you are doing. Many struggle to reach that point in their lives and never do.

At this point, you have to take responsibility for your actions, for yourself, as much as for others who come in contact with you. Take positive action in your life now to begin curbing some of the malicious behavior you describe that seems a lot like a little child pulling the legs off an insect. Begin exercising Saturn in Pisces in your life, through all its aspects and house rulerships in your chart. Become acquainted and make friends with the powerful and positive aspects of Scorpio, and also of its complement, Taurus.

There really is no use wasting the time you have been given with this kind of behaviour. You really do deserve better.
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"You gotta have heart..." Richard Adler 1921-2012
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  #8  
Unread 09-05-2012, 09:56 PM
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aquarius7000 aquarius7000 is offline
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Re: I can't seem to get along well with people?

Hi,

If I came to you and said, everytime I finish a pack of cigs a day, my chest aches from the terrible cough, and I can't sleep. What would you say to me? Then, don't puff puff.

Now, let's swap roles. So, here's what we are telling you: firstly, big compliment that you have the courage to so openly admit your shortcomings. Most of us rather lie to ourselves to keep our ugly side hidden from our ownselves. How can such people ever improve? So, as Sequestra says, half the job is already done. However, the real challenge lies ahead of you: to DO something about it. What is otherwise the use of admitting that something needs 'mending', and leaving it at that. You have recognised where you are going wrong at a very young age, which makes it easier to tackle the problem. But you have to do it: one step at a time, gradually but firmly.

Quote:
I also feel easily threatened. For example, i sense competition easily and worry that others may try to do better than me and it makes me so aggressive. I also try to influence and control others as i worry that they may betray me for new friends as such, but it always backfires and works the other way instead, losing friends, and when i make new friends, the vicious cycle starts again. It just gets on my nerves when friends that i really cherish make friends with people that I don't really like.
This is a lot of that Scorpion energy panning out. The pattern is such: you easily win people over in the beginning, but have painful experiences of losing friends in the past at the back of your head. This propels the urge to control current friendships so much, out of sheer fear of meeting the same fate and losing them, too. However, you have to know that the other party (those new friends) only see someone that they have only just met, and who wants to start calling the shots and even tell them, who they are to be friends with and who not. You are letting fear overpower you and (mis)lead all your actions. However, fear leading to wanting to control others lives, is, at the end of the day, only taking people further away from you. You cannot force people by actually practising such force/pressure on them to stick to you. You can, however, 'force' people (indirectly) to want to be with you in that they acually take a liking to you because they find you fun to be with, happy-go-lucky sorts. You have to tell yourself, the technique of trying to 'control' others has NOT worked. You have to try the opposite: meet and greet people, make plans with them to meet up the next time, and leave it at that. Give them then the chance to approach you, even miss your company. Don't try and rule over them, be in control of the situation always. That sends vibes of of heaviness/pressure and also shows personal insecurities. This creates a negative energy/aura and people want to try and run away from it. How can a fun/joy factor arise in such an atmosphere. Hence, do just the opposite: be lighthearted and cheerful/smile and leave the rest to chance and to others. Let them know, you would be interested in seeing them again sometime, if they would like to, too: leave it sort of open-ended. Don't try and 'fix' plans yourself out of fear of not seeing them perhaps again. That puts a lot of pressure on the others, and the first human reaction to pressure or a must-must feeling is evasion, even aversion.

As to not liking the fact that your friends make friends with people you don't like, simply shows jealousy and insercurity out of fear (of losing them to others) again. You fear that they might like those you don't like better that you, and thus choose to be with them instead of you. However, you have to understand that if you make yourself amiable and likeable, why would your friends ever want to leave you, in the first place no matter who they meet? That is all that should interest you.
The Astrology at work in your present behaviour is Venus-Plu and Moon-Mars. I have the latter aspect, too, and, instead of Plu-Ven, I have Plu-Moon, so I know what you mean. Pluto can instill a lot of fear and jealousy. One has to keep oneself in constant check, as Plutonic emotions are powerful, and before you know they over'power' you. You have to try and do just the opposite when you feel jealousy building up. Smile, joke about things, make plans to do things that mean fun with friends. And, internally, tell yourself, you have to take it easy. You have to let others decide for themselves. They just need to know you are there and interested in their friendship. Full stop. Let the energy flow on its own.

Quote:
People also view me as rather eccentric and loud, and they think i'm a sag. i don't know why,(i think it could be the Aquarius ascendant) but sometimes i also have some sort of an urge to tease others and push their buttons just for the fun of it and people also say that i'm tactless and pass judgements very fast.
. The eccentric part sure comes from Aquarius, which may be shrill and loud due to say their appearance. Loud in terms of literally loud is more the Jup-conj-Moon in Sag bit (no wonder they think you are Sag). The Sag energy is a very 'pronounced' energy, and tends to 'over do' (Jup likes it big).

The tactlessness comes from 'Mars'-Moon again: give it to them 'raw'. After all, Aries (Mars) is the sign opposite of Libra (diplomacy). Mars-Moon can also cause a loud effect, sometimes. However, you also have a Mercury in Libra, and Mer rules your 5th house (one-on-one friendships), so that is where balance and diplomacy needs to be practised most. Btw, you have your N node in Libra as well, so diplomacy and balance in emotions is underlined heavily.

Quote:
Worse still, some think i simply love to hate on others and think i'm just plain cruel and vindictive, even when that is not what i'm really trying to get across. I always feel so misunderstood.
This simply happens because others cannot understand the reason perhaps behind your extreme behaviour, your very controlling nature. They do not know that a very insecure inside and fear of losing is wht is driving you towards such behaviour. They misunderstand, but that is also human. Imagine, if you could tackle the points mentioned afore, it would never come this far. Practise makes perfect. So you have to practise being lighthearted. You are very lucky to have specks of that cool and airy Libra/ Aqua and Sag in your chart to balance out those heavy Pluto/Sco aspects and Sat-Moon. You have yourself also determined as to why people generally like you in the beginning (this is proof enough that you have it in you to be liked), so make that particular trait a habit and move towards that trait.

Quote:
As for the emotional side that you asked me, i think i'm more of a manic depressive. I feel extremely happy and enthusiastic and one moment and then all of a sudden when the realities of life come back to me i feel pessimistic and easily depressed, and i don't know why.
The extremely happy to extremely pessimistic behaviour comes from Sat-Jup. Its like a see-saw effect. I think again, if you check and correct your behaviour as discussed above, this see-saw effect will automatically get better in the process.

Quote:
I read on many websites that Sun square ascendant people are aggressive, and so are people with moon conjunct mars. I have both. I feel like my personality was born as a mistake.
I have a long way still to go in Astrology in terms of learning. Personally, I don't subscribe to the Sun-square-Asc-making-people-agressive bit. The Sun simply shows our basic personality, our focus. If it is squares our Asc, then we just come across quite different than how we are. I have Sun in opposition to my Asc. Now, as I have a Leo Asc (Sun rules), the Sun in Aqua opposing the Leo Asc makes me dislike being in focus (which otherwise Leo Asc's love). It is like the Sun fighting its own self, or how we (may) come across (Asc). What does make one agressive, I said this in my previous post, is what you have rightly said: Mars-Moon. However, Mars also cools down fast. What can make this agression linger is Plu-Mars, and Sat-Mars (you don't have this, but I do). In fact I have them all and even more: Plu-Mars, Mars-Moon, Mars-Sat, Sat-Moon, Sun-opp-Asc (my chart is tougher than yours). Still, I will never say, I was born as a mistake. Would you say I was? Would I say you were? No, I think you're a fine person that has realised his/her drawbacks early enough in life. This is a big step. The challenge, as said above, is to not stop there.

Try this out: write down on a sheet of paper as to how you want to actually come across and be. Sitck this inside your closet. Then, try to try out the new envisaged 'character traits' out (like new clothes). Once you find you look better in your new clothes (one successful hit), you do it more often. Everytime you have tried, come back and put a tick mark on that sheet in your closet. After sometime you can see how the progress is, and may be even leave us some feedback here.. It's not easy (but then: no pain, no gain), but your chart clearly shows you can most certainly do it.

Best
AQ7
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  #9  
Unread 09-07-2012, 05:40 PM
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Fragoso Fragoso is offline
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Re: I can't seem to get along well with people?

Quote:
Originally Posted by a333fan View Post
Hi, what you said is so true. People generally think of me as innocent and off beat and withdrawn at first sight. I find it very easy to make friends. However, it is once they know me that they realize looks can be deceiving. After i know someone well, i try to influence them and after that, the ugly side turns out.

I also feel easily threatened. For example, i sense competition easily and worry that others may try to do better than me and it makes me so aggressive. I also try to influence and control others as i worry that they may betray me for new friends as such, but it always backfires and works the other way instead, losing friends, and when i make new friends, the vicious cycle starts again. It just gets on my nerves when friends that i really cherish make friends with people that I don't really like.

People also view me as rather eccentric and loud, and they think i'm a sag. i don't know why,(i think it could be the Aquarius ascendant) but sometimes i also have some sort of an urge to tease others and push their buttons just for the fun of it and people also say that i'm tactless and pass judgements very fast.

Worse still, some think i simply love to hate on others and think i'm just plain cruel and vindictive, even when that is not what i'm really trying to get across. I always feel so misunderstood.

I read on many websites that Sun square ascendant people are aggressive, and so are people with moon conjunct mars. I have both. I feel like my personality was born as a mistake.
Welcome to the scorpio venus group AHAHA
I find many similarities with what you write and our charts have interesting points in common, like:

-Scorpio venus conjunting Pluto;
-Sun square asc;
-Moon in 11th.

You say it's easy for you to make friends ... And also you seem to be worried if they are going to be loyal or not to you. Sound so moon in 11th. Scorpio venus can be also very possessive of their friends And try to don't let anyone to intrude upon. I can relate so much to this. And also you say others see you as eccentric and sag-like ... LOL *SUNS SQUARE ASC*
I am an attention whore (indirectly) to some unhealthy levels and just realized that lately.
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Eating my wings to make me tame»
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  #10  
Unread 09-08-2012, 05:18 AM
a333fan a333fan is offline
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Re: I can't seem to get along well with people?

Thanks everyone for the advice! I also have a few Scorpio friends born around the same period as me but they were never as crazy as me!

Looking at my chart, what can be said about the future? I'm currently studying architecture, would mercury conjunct n.node in libra make it easy for me find a good future in it since its an art?

What else can be said about my destiny in my chart? I'm very curious!
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Unread 09-08-2012, 05:20 AM
a333fan a333fan is offline
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Re: I can't seem to get along well with people?

Quote:
Originally Posted by Fragoso View Post
Welcome to the scorpio venus group AHAHA
I find many similarities with what you write and our charts have interesting points in common, like:

-Scorpio venus conjunting Pluto;
-Sun square asc;
-Moon in 11th.

You say it's easy for you to make friends ... And also you seem to be worried if they are going to be loyal or not to you. Sound so moon in 11th. Scorpio venus can be also very possessive of their friends And try to don't let anyone to intrude upon. I can relate so much to this. And also you say others see you as eccentric and sag-like ... LOL *SUNS SQUARE ASC*
I am an attention whore (indirectly) to some unhealthy levels and just realized that lately.
Yes! I feel so angry whenever someone intrudes! I can't tolerate the superfluous
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Unread 09-09-2012, 11:49 AM
a333fan a333fan is offline
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Re: I can't seem to get along well with people?

Anyone here to reply about the question of my future through the chart?
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