a life of no importance

I have written here before.



I have been called spoiled-which at that moment seemed true-but now I think I am dependent, not spoiled.


I have an array of problems. I am homosexual , have to hide my identity as I Live in a conservative country and I feel guilty for it. I have bipolar mood disorder- I am on medication which is killing all my creativity day by day. I have social anxieties and obsession with past. I am terribly lonely.My family has a thousand problems.



but most of all i am just fade up, with humans. There is no feeling of brotherhood, only an urge to get ahead.Life is maybe a rat race but I am not a rat.I feel suicidal. I have been out of touch with studies for more than 4 years. i just dont feel the energy, the strength. I lack ambition.spiritual growth?yes. but how to learn cat-fighting with others???


I am suicidal. but i think of my mom and restrain myself. I am leading a life of no importance.,no future.


Is there any way to help me???

Please get help outside the Forum, to aquarian

aquarian,

This is NOT a suicide counseling station, it does not pretend to be, it does not have the right people, it is not staffed appropriately, it simply doesn't have the ability to give you the help you need. For that reason, the sooner you look AWAY from this forum, the sooner you can look for help in an area where people are going to give you the help you need.

But it CAN point you in the right direction. Our Forum members suggest going to these sites:
http://www.suicideprevention.ca/in-crisis-now/thinking-about-suicide/
http://www.cmha.ca/mental-health/find-help/emotional-wellness/
http://www.suicideforum.com/
http://www.takethislife.com/suicide-forums/
http://d2lrevolution.com/no-suicide-zone/?gclid=CJbqx42XprwCFWLHtAodQx4AKw

In accordance with Forum rules, I'm locking this thread down against further postings.

Locking down,