i don't know what to make of my chart

hey guys! i'd like to ask a reading for my chart cause honestly i'm scared. i don't really like myself, the only thing i am happy with is my pisces sun since i find the "psychic" and "artistic" stuff interesting.

i have a lot of self esteem, communication and identity problems. i don't really know who i am, i guess. i have a lot of issues i need to fix and i don't know where to start haha.

so, please, what's wrong with my chart? thanks!!

hope this helps reflect, do share how true-insightful-useful :


aries asc intelligent, action oriented and impulsive;
ketu 9th sag, hyper-impulsive again, tending to distant lands;

most planets between rahu-ketu,
rahu transits in sequence over planets sooner after birth, clouding things;
later ketu transits in sequence causing detachments, pain-injury-surgery;

moon-sat-rahu gemini, clever, analytical,
good at information processing-technology,
but confused decision making;
rahu 3rd excessive-rash risk taking;
rise-fall in life, need for ancestor worship,
observe fast No-moon days taking milk-fruits;

sun-mer sensitive pisces 11th, literay-oratory abilities,
mer pisces debilated, emotional-confused;
debilated mer aspected by jup own pisces 11th, debilation cancelled,
gradual intellectual growth, gains from communications, friends, etc;
mer elevated aspect own virgo 5th, protective of luck-edu-position;
wear green emerald over pendant touching heart;

mars taurus 2nd, assertive speech,
aptitude for hotel management, dentistry, food technology, etc;
mars aspect own scorpio 8th, promoting research-occult aptitudes,
and protection from major dangers;

jup lord 9th for luck elevated cancer 3rd,
aptitude for advisory-counseling-teaching roles-singing;
prayers to saint of faith, offer yellow flowers mon evenings,
at the alter at home;


wishing well, kshantaram

hi FireFlight

I first notice that you have moon conjunct to Saturn and these are square to ceres and mercury. this gives a devoted nature. that is you long for secure and long-term relationships .this is also indicate by Venus trine to juno(I added a few more symbols.you have a strong love inside you and a devoted relationship/marriage is what you desire.
but eris is conjunct to venus on your ascendant . while this increase your passion for ife and gives you attractive nature even more allure, eris tends to draw guys that are only interested in you physically. And nessus is square to venus and eris which shows that most guys are rather abusive rather than nurturing and supportive. they expect you to do whatever they want and don't reciprocate by being sensitive to you emotional needs. so this can be a problem ad you try to draw love but you tend to get stuck with loser/abusers.
your named asteriod,lunn, is square to your venus/mars midpoint which again emphasizes you loving emotional nature.this aspect increases your already attractive emotional energy.
so the main difficulty is that you yearn for love but usually get users instead of true love.
you low self esteem seems to be because the pluto/Saturn and pluto/moon midpoints are conjunct to mercury. this will make you shy and and very introspective.it shows you don't talk to much and don't like to show your feelings.
you eros/psyche midpoint is square to Uranus which shows you fall passionately in love. you are very romantic and idealistic in love but most times you love affairs are brief though extremely passionate and electric,
though with the Saturn/sun conjunction, you may hole yourself back when you feel so strongly in love.but these two patterns show that you have be tossed up and down in relationship, very happy and then very sad.

as the Jupiter/juno midpoint is conjunct to lunna, you definitely are the marrying type which also may make you hold back and wait for the right guy.

you have chiron opposed to Jupiter which gives you mind intensity. it can add intelligence but it also can make you very picky or critical of others.
though you are usually correct about people , sometimes you make tell them things they don't like to hear.

your Saturn/orcus midpoint is square to Venus so it seems that your self esteem is partially because you father has been to restrictive an cold toward you. you are a person who need love but I think your father doesn't appreciate you enough of tell you how good you are. his influence could be very destructive to your elf esteem if he always say negative things about you.
Neptune is trine to the moon and Saturn and the midpoint is conjunct to Lilith. this is where you psychic sensitivity comes from. you are extremely intuitive and likely have had vision.but with the Saturn/Neptune midpoint also conjunct to Lilith, you have feeling of doubt about yourself which oyur cold father can make worse. this aspect also shows you like to keep secrets and do not like other people to know your inner self and with mercury square to pluto, you find it hard to open up to people.

rahu