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I have one specific question.
I have a long term relationship, yes, with my moon situation, and his Moon is way way worse. Our syanstry is maybe from meh to bad, I don't get it. And I have one friend, former obsesser, or he still is one, and just a better faker, I don't know.
I can't have friends, that's one thing I'm very bad friendship material because I'm detached for a while, but they, almost all of them go crazy, possessive, pathologically obsessively crazy over me, no, not really sexually, I don't know what they want, maybe to eat me or or slurp out my soul, but what about the long distance ones? Same sh*t.
Why is this happening?
Seriously, why? I'm lonely.
Sorry, my English is bad.
What do you see? I'm open to bad things/assumptions too.
I have one specific question.
Why is this happening?
A mars ruled 8th house with mars in prenatal house 12th- like yours -always show an early near to death experience before birth and around own birth.I'm almost died when I was born, it was an emergency c-section,
as of mental illnesses, nobody knows what's wrong with me, I have a ton of diagnoses, severe depression, bpd, hf autism, on the road to adhd, addiction, but I just take an insane amount of medication for my insomnia, so nothing illegal or alcohol, ****, sex, gambling etc., and they don't even work half the time, I have "I don't know" personality disorder, severe anxiety.. Meds don't work or they make everything worse, I can't work because of insomnia, anxiety etc., I'm always tired and no amount of sleep can help it, my sleep meds poison me and I can barely tolerate them..
And I fear.. fear of everything and nothing. Maybe I have PTSD, I don't know, but they don't give out a PTSD dx here easily, that's bpd, I think the whole country is qualified for bpd.
I don't want to get married, feeling trapped would destroy my relationship.
.
I can't have friends, that's one thing I'm very bad friendship material because I'm detached for a while.
Why is this happening?
I'm lonely.
Eh, I should delete this. Thank you for both of your insights, and Zora, you really helped me a lot, I really appreciate it!
Oh, thank you, but not that. I just ranted about my above average parents, yeah, my dad is irritating and I inherited the hf autism from him, but he's not socially inept and mom is the best, war effed up my peace of mind in my childhood, not my parents. I lived near the border and it was loud, and human nature frightening.
Pisces-jup 7th inimical for virgo asc,
stress-delays in marriage-vocation;
inimical jup over acq 5th, gains from spouse under stress-delays,
luck-education-romance-children-advisory roles under stress-delays;
heart-stomach-legs under stress; retro jup, delayed results;
retro jup towards cap aspecting venus cancer 11th,
for income-gains through arts, women, etc;
jup now transit cap aspect venus 11th for gains-friendships-relationship;
jup effective mid-course April-july 020
rahu NNode now transit venus cap,
gains through foreigners/foreign relationships;
Natal rahu taurus 9th for foreign travels,
love of foreign food-comforts; secular attitude towards religion;
wear 0.25 carat diamond over platinum pendant touching heart;
venus lord 9th for luck over 11th for gains-friendships;
mer lord 10th over 11th for gains-friendships;
wear green emerald over little finger;
moon lord 11th over sag 4th, gains from mother-property;
moon sag philosophical-optimistic-sportive-ambitious-impulsive-popular;
Sat past 2.5yrs transit opp venus cancer 11th,
craving for affections but difficult to manifest;
sat sooner transits jup acq 5th for luck-romance-children etc,
jup lord 7th for marriage;
asc lord mer with mars leo, high self-pride, aggressive temperament,
gains through managerial roles, instrumental music etc;
mars-mer leo attracted by such men;
jup acq settling for men with advisory capacities
-friend, guide, philosopher, counsellor, reformer;
mer-jup lords 1/7 over leo-acq 6/8 unfriendly signs,
prone to conflict in relationships-marriage to care;
Sat transit acq opp mer-mars leo,
stress in luck-edu-romance-income-friendships-liver-heart-stomach;
sat lord 4/5 for domestic comforts-luck-romance etc;
natal sat-ketu scorpio, sat aspect own cap 5th,
protective of luck-education-position
but not good for health of children;
float 1.25kgs each black whole gram and white sesame seeds over
clean flowing river on tuesday after sunset with prayers to Mother Goddess,
offer red flowers at the alter at home;
prayers to saint of faith, offer yellow flowers at alter at home sat mornings;
may wear yellow sapphire over pendant touching heart;
natal jup aspect mars-mer leo 11th supportive of income-gains-friendships;
sat-ketu SNode scorpio 3rd for research-occult-astro-forensic aptitudes;
detachment from siblings; pain-injury-surgery urological-piles-arms-shoulders-ears etc;
Sat-rahu opp, toxic health issues, dental-throat-thyroid-thighs etc,
rise-fall in life; prayers for ancestors, observe fast No-moon evenings;
observe death anniversaries religiously;
wear brown hessonite over pendant touching heart;
sun virgo 12th, critical thinking,
good for audit-editorial-quality management roles and foreign lands;
hope enables take stock of chart n relationships; a mixed bag;
hope transit jup aspect mer-mars-venus 11th these years helps;
while care from aspects of saturn;
observe fast sat evenings;
previous 1.5yr ketu transit inimical jup acq 5th,
detachment from luck-edu-romance-children-position;
pain-injury-surgery heart-stomach-liver-legs-sciatica etc
ketu next transit moon sag 4th,
detachment from home-mother-property-income-gains-friendships to care;
prayers for Mother Goddess, offer red flowers at alter at home tues evenings;
do share how true-insightful traits-talents-health-life trends-remedies etc
wishing well, kshantaram