Feeling like this life has played out..

I stress this is not, not not about suicide
I'm not thinking of suicide, nor will I,
I want to clear that has a misunderstanding right off the bat..
So please don't close thread..

What I mean is..
I believe in reincarnation, I feel like this current life has played out, so I'm not afraid to die, when it's my time.
I'm feeling as if there isn't anything else left for me here..
Maybe it's a transit, or progression that will surpass..
But it's like I feel I've done my job or completed my tasks...

I know it's a weird statement, but I really wanted to discuss it...
Again, I stress I'm not thinking of doing anything...
It's not suicide thoughts.. It's just different... I can understand how it can be misunderstood as such, but that's just not the case..
I don't feel depressed, its more of a completed feeling.

I'm Feeling I've done all I can do in this life time..
My biggest fear is being old, and helpless... Or some major illness..
I don't want to go through anything like that..


Can someone tell me if this is normal, maybe some sort of transit... Etc..
I'm posting my chart with transits and progressed and solar arc..

I'm really not sure what to look for..


I'm sorry if this sounds morbid, it's just where my head has been.

Solar arcs/progressions
Couldn't post both charts.

Without looking at the charts, have things finally ended with you and your Pisces? This seems like a very depressing and dramatic sort of post. I can be dramatic like this when I am super depressed, so I am only asking.

If you want to chat you can PM me

anjelik said:

Without looking at the charts, have things finally ended with you and your Pisces? This seems like a very depressing and dramatic sort of post. I can be dramatic like this when I am super depressed, so I am only asking.

If you want to chat you can PM me

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No, I think you misunderstand..
I'm not depressed in any way...
The dramatic, may just be my Leo coming out
I speak with flare, what can I say!!!
I'm not really prone to depression.

The best way I can explain it, Is like this..

Let's say you work for Aaa company, your feeling like you have reached your potential in the current position, so you look to move to a higher position, so you can learn more, increase your skills so to speak.
Your not unhappy, just feel that it's time to move on to another position.
Your no longer learning anything new, in the current position..

I'm not depressed, or crying out for help... That's a misunderstanding as I said in the beginning.

I just would like to understand where this feeling is coming from, also discuss it openly with others that can understand what I mean.

Zarathu said:

You are too young. Too soon oldt; too late schmart.

But I need to ask.... since I already have your birth data, did you move from the birth city during the first 6 years of life and if so, where and when?

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Yes I moved from Kentucky to California at age 6... Before my 7th bday.
My mom says during winter after New Years sometime between jan -March
I estimate around Feb of 79.
She said it was really bad weather, we drove in a orange Pinto is all I really remember.. Lol

Zarathu said:

When people talk like this, they always have issues that are shown in their cognitive structures in their emotional tertiary progression return chart and in their mental minor progression return chart. One can do your progressions for any time, but I treat them as if they were a more sophisticated version of a planetary return, giving you a set of challenges based on your birth day in your birth chart and returning every year to see how the progression shows up.

You most surely have cognitive structures are easily visible in these two charts.

Do you want to hear them here or by PM?

Z

Click to expand...

Here is fine... It can be a learning tool.
I'm not sure what cognitive structures are.

Thank you.

I think your feeelings/outlook at this time is largely due to Neptune transit of your first whole sign house (transit of Pisces)-Neptune (and Pisces too) represent "end of cycles", dissolution of the old, well established, opening the way for the new: I think you are experiencing this dissolution/renovation tide sweeping through your energy field: you might be feeling the more "negative" impact of this, since transiting Neptune has been in square to natal Neptune over the past approx. 15 or so months-however, as transit Neptune passes beyond the transit/orb of square to natal Neptune, this negative impact/sensation will diminish and fade away (note that Neptune moves through signs at a rate of 1 degree every 5 months-except of course when retrograde)-so I think any negative feelings associated with this Neptunian/1st house cycle activation, will pass off in the not to distant future, replaced by insight into new directions for your life...

dr. farr said:

I think your feeelings/outlook at this time is largely due to Neptune transit of your first whole sign house (transit of Pisces)-Neptune (and Pisces too) represent "end of cycles", dissolution of the old, well established, opening the way for the new: I think you are experiencing this dissolution/renovation tide sweeping through your energy field: you might be feeling the more "negative" impact of this, since transiting Neptune has been in square to natal Neptune over the past approx. 15 or so months-however, as transit Neptune passes beyond the transit/orb of square to natal Neptune, this negative impact/sensation will diminish and fade away (note that Neptune moves through signs at a rate of 1 degree every 5 months-except of course when retrograde)-so I think any negative feelings associated with this Neptunian/1st house cycle activation, will pass off in the not to distant future, replaced by insight into new directions for your life...

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Thank you dr. F.. That makes a lot of sense, the "end of a cycle"
Maybe I'm feeling the "ending" and I'm sorting through the end feelings vs the new beginning feelings.
It comes across in my head in its own way... Lol
I'm so glad you understood what I meant, I was just at a loss on how to explain it. I knew it would come across in another manner. I was just hoping someone would understand what I meant.
I don't know what the new beginning is, but I feel ready for this "new life"

And it will come!

the chiron is another transit to look at it (it is conjunct your AC), it hurts and wants to heal...

My guess it is transiting Chiron right on the ASC and quincunx your Moon (and Mercury). This can give an overwhelming feeling of "what's the point" and "ugh no more pain, please". Recently transiting Saturn was over your Lilith in the 8th (giving a fateful, morbid outlook), and both Saturn and Node transiting the 8th house (giving more focus to spiritual ideas, the occult, death, etc). Transiting Pluto will be soon quincunx Mercury and Moon so for a few more years yet this subtle feeling of dis-ease will continue. Transiting Uranus will be crossing over Chiron next year so many more past hurts are going to surface for resolution. I'm guessing this is the opening salvo of a new progression for you to the next level of spirituality. It is always uncomfortable at first, and quite frankly, usually a total drag. You'll just have to bear through it and do what you can to learn the lessons. I've been in a similar situation lately with TR Pluto entering the 9th quincunx my Sun and Node and TR Neptune square Mercury and quincunx Moon all at the same time. TR Pluto is trine Pluto however which helps me get through some of it.

Z..
That was really awesome thank you...
I will have to re read it later when the house is quieter, so please give me some time to really reply back.

mdinaz said:

My guess it is transiting Chiron right on the ASC and quincunx your Moon (and Mercury). This can give an overwhelming feeling of "what's the point" and "ugh no more pain, please". Recently transiting Saturn was over your Lilith in the 8th (giving a fateful, morbid outlook), and both Saturn and Node transiting the 8th house (giving more focus to spiritual ideas, the occult, death, etc). Transiting Pluto will be soon quincunx Mercury and Moon so for a few more years yet this subtle feeling of dis-ease will continue. Transiting Uranus will be crossing over Chiron next year so many more past hurts are going to surface for resolution. I'm guessing this is the opening salvo of a new progression for you to the next level of spirituality. It is always uncomfortable at first, and quite frankly, usually a total drag. You'll just have to bear through it and do what you can to learn the lessons. I've been in a similar situation lately with TR Pluto entering the 9th quincunx my Sun and Node and TR Neptune square Mercury and quincunx Moon all at the same time. TR Pluto is trine Pluto however which helps me get through some of it.

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Thank you..
You know I don't really feel like I'm going through a hard time.. I've been through a lot worse times... I'm so use to having hard times, I've gotten immune to them.. It doesn't even phase me any more..
As long as I have some sort of creative outlet, that keeps my mind busy, I just don't let things get to me anymore..
I stay busy from 5am to 10pm, so I just don't have to stress out... Lol..
I guess if anything, I'm numb to any type of bad feelings..
Right now my creative outlet has been sewing..
I bought a machine, and have been self teaching myself..
I've made some 20 scarves... I love scarves.. Lol

I do this in my spare time, after work.. Until bed time.

Lion o ness said:

Right now my creative outlet has been sewing..
I bought a machine, and have been self teaching myself..
I've made some 20 scarves... I love scarves.. Lol

I do this in my spare time, after work.. Until bed time.

Click to expand...

This is pure Venus! Demonstrates a very potent Venusian influence here!

dr. farr said:

This is pure Venus! Demonstrates a very potent Venusian influence here!

Click to expand...

Really??
I didn't know that...

I have found that I really like it, it keeps my mind very busy and concentrated, and I have been experimenting with different Styles/designs..
I think it makes my Leo happy toooooo.


Z..

Bare with me another day... I had typed this long reply and accidentally pushed the wrong button and lost all of it..
My eyes aren't up to re typing all of it now..

I do agree with a lot of what you said, some are the same but with a twist..
I'll explain better later..

But I don't feel bad, like in a giving up manner, kinda the opposite.. I'm feeling more like I have completed my assignments, like the jobs done.. Now I'm just kinda keeping busy..
It's really hard to explain..
But like you said most people don't understand me when I talk..
That's been a life long problem for me... I speak troll or something. Haha

You did pinpoint one specific thing though...
I'll have to go back a re read it, so I can phrase it properly..

Curious,
Why did you ask if I moved by age 6?

Zarathu said:

I use a sophisticated version of tertiary and minor progressed charts for the day of birth. If you don't have Halloran's programs it won't give you the correct data.

In secondary progressions the symbolism is a day for a year, so if you move in the first 90 days you need to change the place in the chart. If you move in the first three years of so , you may have to change the place in the chart for tertiary progressions. If you move in the first 6 years, you may have to change the place of the chart. Obviously if you moved at the end of the 6 years, then the change would only be necessary if your were close to 90 years old for minor progressions.

Progressions tell the challenges that life is pre-programmed to offer to you. What you do with the challenge is pretty much up to you.

Click to expand...

My dad was in the military, I moved a lot.

Lion o ness said:

I don't feel depressed, its more of a completed feeling.

I'm Feeling I've done all I can do in this life time..

Can someone tell me if this is normal, maybe some sort of transit... Etc..
I'm posting my chart with transits and progressed and solar arc..

I'm really not sure what to look for..


I'm sorry if this sounds morbid, it's just where my head has been.

Click to expand...

I think what you are feeling sounds perfectly normal to me. I started to feel like this a few years ago. And i think it's a very powerful place to be mentally and emotionally. I am not sure if its the same for you, but there is a peaceful kind of serenity that comes with being in this state of mind.
I think in western i.e. american culture there is a stigma associated with acceptance of death/dying whether it be with you, or in someone you know. and all that gets internalized.. so you begin to feel that it's "morbid" subject to be at peace with. for instance, the families never have a part in the death process, burying their loved ones. It's done by other people. in some basement somewhere. then people you never met before do all the work while the family stands around crying. Which is a bit ridiculous. but it's the way it is.

If you feel that you've come to the end of a cycle, i am sure a new one will emerge. but i would think once you've reached this point of not having a fear of death or having this acceptance of and "attunement" with the universe and your place in it. It's not going to go away. It's a very personal and very spiritual thing and can also become such a great strength. There is alot you can do with this mindset. since i personally feel it holds tremendous power, and it usually comes after a great deal of suffering. the best thing to do is own it.

I thought pluto would have hand a hand in what you are feeling, but it looks like neptune thru the 12th is holding the keys for you with this one. I have neptune reaching an angle too but on the midheaven instead. hmm. I'm going to have to go back and re-interpret things now

all the best!

3. You tend to prefer a state of internal harmony without outside interference

4. While you want things to be fixed the cycle at the time tends to repeatedly ignoring of self-discipline that is necessary to get yourself out of the trine’s clutches.
----------------/---------------------
I feel like these 2 hit a spot the most.
What my main issue is, is getting out in the world and being comfortable.
I just not comfortable around new people..



Moon is in Leo in your natal chart and Moon is in leo in this tertiary progressed chart augmenting how you deal with security natally. This is important because when we are threatened by one thing or another, and you are being threatened by challenges now, we tend to fall back on how we deal with security. If the way we temporarily deal with security is the same as the way we natally do, then we have a double whammy of treating the struggles as an attack on your security.

What you tend to do in this instance includes:

1. Key phrases: I need attention: I need to put on a show; I’m dramatic; I’m the star. You want to be the star of the show regardless, and if the circumstances are leading you not to be the star of the show, then you will feel as if things are done for you. You will try to be come the star again.
---------------------

I can't fully agree with this, even though I have a lot of Leo, it's some how severely altered.. Maybe because all 4 planets are in h6.

My security is independence, and being needed..
I help over people, before I do things for my self.
Helping people, makes me feel good about my self..
Only I've spent most of my lie doing things for everyone else, that I started to feel taken advantage of. I started to feel some resentment.
It was always have Lioness do it, she will do it..
A few times when I have asked for favors, I felt like everyone just turned their back on me..
So in short, I had to learn to start saying no, and doing things for myself..
Only it makes me feel really bad... Lol


I'll have to write more later, bare with me.. I will reply little by little.

ashriia said:

I think what you are feeling sounds perfectly normal to me. I started to feel like this a few years ago. And i think it's a very powerful place to be mentally and emotionally. I am not sure if its the same for you, but there is a peaceful kind of serenity that comes with being in this state of mind.
I think in western i.e. american culture there is a stigma associated with acceptance of death/dying whether it be with you, or in someone you know. and all that gets internalized.. so you begin to feel that it's "morbid" subject to be at peace with. for instance, the families never have a part in the death process, burying their loved ones. It's done by other people. in some basement somewhere. then people you never met before do all the work while the family stands around crying. Which is a bit ridiculous. but it's the way it is.

If you feel that you've come to the end of a cycle, i am sure a new one will emerge. but i would think once you've reached this point of not having a fear of death or having this acceptance of and "attunement" with the universe and your place in it. It's not going to go away. It's a very personal and very spiritual thing and can also become such a great strength. There is alot you can do with this mindset. since i personally feel it holds tremendous power, and it usually comes after a great deal of suffering. the best thing to do is own it.

I thought pluto would have hand a hand in what you are feeling, but it looks like neptune thru the 12th is holding the keys for you with this one. I have neptune reaching an angle too but on the midheaven instead. hmm. I'm going to have to go back and re-interpret things now

all the best!

Click to expand...

Yes thank you for understanding my pov...

The NN of your personal growth is in Capricorn, in the sign of friendships as well as your hopes and wishes for the future. So how well would you say you have grown in your 11th house matters, in a pragmatic sort of way? How have you been helpful to your friends and associates?

I recently became an official senior citizen, and am finding old age to be a very different sort of experience from youth and middle age. Just now I feel driven to be helpful to people before I pack in. With your loaded 6th house, this would be something to consider.