Never had a more intense relationship that consumed me, what's going on?

The19thLaw

Well-known member
The weird part is I have not even met this woman in person yet she brings out the strongest emotions in me than any other woman I have known. I do not know what in the world is going on but I fear her but at the same time, have gotten more attached to her.

She was hostile to me in the first couple of months and very closed off but then, she started being really nice to me and is now hot and cold. I feel like she plays these powerful mind games and I am being taken for a wild intense roller coaster ride.

Someone help

https://i.imgur.com/RVziPai.png
 

katydid

Well-known member
You have a natal Venus/Pluto square, conjunct your Asc and IC. So it does seem like a lot of women would bring out strong emotions in you. I am wondering why she seems to do so more than others have.

Maybe it is her Mars that sits on top of your Pluto, triggering your natal Venus/Pluto square.

Here is an interesting explanation of how Venus/Pluto Natal squares sometimes show in relationships:
https://astrologyking.com/venus-square-pluto/
Venus square Pluto natal complicates your close relationships because of the intensity of your feelings. Not your general mood and feelings, but how you feel and show love and affection. When you become attracted to someone, this intensity can show as infatuation or even stalking. You simply fall deeply in love but sometimes your behavior can be threatening or overbearing to others, especially while you are young.

With age comes the ability to hide the more negative behaviors. But to have your goals for true mutual love fulfilled, you must transform, not hide, those destructive behaviors. These negative behaviors mainly center around gaining total control of the relationship, so that you need not feel insecure or worried it might end. This can result in manipulative behavior like jealousy, guilt trips or possessiveness.

Using your power to force someone to love you will ultimately end in a breakup, which of course, would be extremely painful and dramatic for you. But it is only through such intense relationships that you gain the self-awareness of your manipulative or controlling behaviors. Then you can use your immense power to positively transform how you give and receive love. This process may be painful because you will come to realize that self-love is the real issue.

Once you learn how to really love yourself, then the unconditional love and approval you seek will be at hand.

Before you reach the realization of the need for self-love, you may be attracted to dangerous partners or those who treat you badly.

You may actually be attracting such types subconsciously because of your poor self-image.

https://astrologyking.com/venus-square-pluto/
================================================

Her Mars triggers your natal Venus/Pluto square. So I guess this is an important time for you to be able to work through that energy now, and learn what you personally need to know in order to move through it.

This is NOT about her. She is a married woman, living in another country, who just happened to be working with you. This is not a viable romantic relationship that will ever happen in the real world.

You have never met her in person and probably never will. She is not purposely playing mind games with you. She is probably just trying to figure out how to work with you while you are imagining there is an ongoing romantic relationship happening.

So what can you do to get your life back? How can you regain your equilibrium and your personal power?

You need to somehow regain some clarity here. She is not in a romantic relationship with you. She will not be in a romantic relationship with you. So now what?:sideways:
 

The19thLaw

Well-known member
The funny thing is, even though she is married with kids and all, she apparently has a reputation of well "getting around" anyways. I think even in the synasrty, it could have to do with her Gemini moon. It is a weird feeling where I don't care as much that she is married and would never pursue but that thought that she is getting with guys outside of marriage and yeah lol, not me.

Feel for her husband though, ouch. That is why I'd fight every urge to make the move.
 

Zeuses

Well-known member
I think you just have to ask yourself would you be happy with someone you know is capable of having an affair? I certainly wouldn't. It's not a good harbinger of trust. Given a key thing for leo is loyalty then it would be off to a shakey start to begin with.
 

Osamenor

Staff member
The funny thing is, even though she is married with kids and all, she apparently has a reputation of well "getting around" anyways. I think even in the synasrty, it could have to do with her Gemini moon. It is a weird feeling where I don't care as much that she is married and would never pursue but that thought that she is getting with guys outside of marriage and yeah lol, not me.

Feel for her husband though, ouch. That is why I'd fight every urge to make the move.

How do you know if the rumor is true?

From what you've said, she's not in the same country as you. There's no way you could have witnessed her "getting around," if she even does. That's exactly the kind of thing people might say just for vicious gossip. It might not be true at all.

Even if it is true, you're not in the same country, and you're coworkers. Those are excellent and impersonal reasons why she wouldn't choose you. Aside from other purely impersonal reasons that may exist.

It's your obsessiveness that needs your attention, not this woman. See what katydid posted about Venus square Pluto. You're showing every sign of the destructive behaviors described for that placement. Whether or not you're doing anything besides sitting there obsessing over it, the obsession alone is enough, and you've said she's said she was uncomfortable with you. That is the most likely reason why.
 

The19thLaw

Well-known member
Actually I said she was from another country, not in another country. She is actually in a state neighboring mines and maybe like an hour drive away.

Look at her Gemini moon, that just yells infidelity along with a Sag stellium. Apparently this lady is on her second marriage and the word is that she is known for getting around. Even on a meeting with my other coworker she was acting very flirty.

I mean the more I think about it, I just wanna pump and dump but not try anything serious with her lol.
 

Osamenor

Staff member
Look at her Gemini moon, that just yells infidelity along with a Sag stellium. Apparently this lady is on her second marriage and the word is that she is known for getting around.

Nothing in a birth chart yells infidelity. A need for variety, perhaps, with a lot of Gemini/Sag, but that doesn't necessarily mean a variety of sexual partners, let alone a variety of sexual partners while married. It could just as easily be a need for variety in other areas of life. And probably does mean a need for variety in other areas of life, whether or not number of sexual partners is one of them.

Now, if she does practice non-monogamy, married doesn't necessarily mean off limits, but being coworkers probably does mean off limits, and if she's not interested in you, that definitely means off limits.

It's still your chart that needs your attention, not hers.
 
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bubuza_dulce

Well-known member
Sun conjunct North Node in synastry:


https://starscopestoday.com/tag/north-node-conjunct-sun-synastry/


''Nevertheless, the North Node is undoubtedly strongly drawn towards the Sun person, and vice-versa. Indeed, the North Node person feels a fated “pull” towards the Sun person. The North Node certainly feels there is a future with the Sun person and is attracted to the growth the relationship represents.''


There are probably beter articles on the internet about this aspect.
 

wan

Well-known member
I mean the more I think about it, I just wanna pump and dump but not try anything serious with her lol.

Lol! We appreciate your honesty.

A need for variety, perhaps, with a lot of Gemini/Sag, but that doesn't necessarily mean a variety of sexual partners, let alone a variety of sexual partners while married. It could just as easily be a need for variety in other areas of life. And probably does mean a need for variety in other areas of life
I can attest to this. I have a rather mutable chart, I have all 4 angles in mutable signs and 3 of these angular houses contain planets, and I don't think I go after lots of romantic partners. When I like someone, I am usually focused on that one person only, to the exclusion of everybody else. But I do crave variety in a lot of other things, such as reading material, food, friends..etc.

I also prefer talking to a lot of different people on online forums, and I tend not to be super enthusiastic about answering PMs. Why? I would expend all that energy to talk to just one person only. It's not very "efficient", lol.
 
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The19thLaw

Well-known member
Sun conjunct North Node in synastry:


https://starscopestoday.com/tag/north-node-conjunct-sun-synastry/


''Nevertheless, the North Node is undoubtedly strongly drawn towards the Sun person, and vice-versa. Indeed, the North Node person feels a fated “pull” towards the Sun person. The North Node certainly feels there is a future with the Sun person and is attracted to the growth the relationship represents.''


There are probably beter articles on the internet about this aspect.

I hear it is a sign of one-sided synastry though, nodal contacts in general are. Like the Sun is like "eh whatever" and nodal person is like "but but but muh love!"
 

katydid

Well-known member
Actually I said she was from another country, not in another country. She is actually in a state neighboring mines and maybe like an hour drive away.

Look at her Gemini moon, that just yells infidelity along with a Sag stellium. Apparently this lady is on her second marriage and the word is that she is known for getting around. Even on a meeting with my other coworker she was acting very flirty.

I mean the more I think about it, I just wanna pump and dump but not try anything serious with her lol.

Gemini Moons do not 'yell infidelity.' They may be indecisive and fickle at times, but they tend to be very honest and blunt. My lifelong friend, with a Gemini 7th house Moon, has never cheated on her partners. But she does move on from relationships that are not working anymore, and tells them honestly, 'it is time to move on.'

And in this case, your boss has Saturn conjunct her Moon, so that does not scream infidelity to me. She may or may not have cheated at one time, but it doesn't mean 'she gets around a lot' ---as you seem to believe. :pouty:

Saying you just want to pump and dump seems odd, considering that you have started several threads about this woman, over a span of time. And you say this 'relationship consumes you emotionally.' Seems like a pretty strong obsession, for someone you just want to 'pump and dump.' :pinched:

Again, I think it is your chart that you need to look at here--not hers. Your attitude towards this woman is pretty gross, if you don't mind me saying so. :sad:
 

The19thLaw

Well-known member
Life is gross.

I mean hey, if others are hitting it, I want my turn.

Something does tell me with all of the stuff she has put me through, that in deep hatred or some sort of deep obsessive hatred, there is a passionate lust. Who knows.

Yeah my attitude towards her is just that.

Sometimes, I wonder if all I need is to go to a place where prostitution is legal.

I am unfortunately attracting too many Aqua women in my life, UGH!

[Deleted inappropriate comments. Keep it clean! - Moderator]
 
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katydid

Well-known member
Life is gross.

I mean hey, if others are hitting it, I want my turn in the wh0rehouse. TBH, I won't be aggressive with it but if she is a wh0re which her chart screams she is (and let's face it, most Sag women are loose and don't stick to a man) then I want to get my turn when the chance comes up.

Something does tell me with all of the stuff she has put me through, that in deep hatred or some sort of deep obsessive hatred, there is a passionate lust. Who knows.

Yeah my attitude towards her is just that, she seems to be a wh0re that cannot be trusted but if the chance comes to pump and dump, I am going for it.

Sometimes, I wonder if all I need is to go to a place where prostitution is legal and pump and dump an a$$load of wh0res with early December birthdays.

I am unfortunately attracting too many Aqua women in my life, UGH!

As to the bolded above, it sounds like your Venus in Leo square Pluto is out of control. :unsure:

I guess this is what happens when a Leo stellium is trapped in the 12th, opposed by Saturn. :bandit: So much insecurity and hidden resentment just simmering below the surface....

Your misplaced anger and disrespect towards women is alarming. Especially your off base accusations against all Saggitarrius women. It is NOT TRUE that 'but if she is a wh0re which her chart screams she is (and let's face it, most Sag women are loose and don't stick to a man)".....that is some kind of delusion that seems to haunt you. In my opinion, anyway.

I suggest you seek some professional help for your issues with women. :whistling:
 

Ukpoohbear

Well-known member
Your attitude towards this woman is pretty gross, if you don't mind me saying so. :sad:

The attitude towards this woman makes me sad and grossed out too. No wonder she has been acting cold towards him. She will have her hands full as a Mother, trying to do her best at work and will feel this heavy, sticky energy towards her.

I agree Moon-Saturn is always a nice aspect to see in a chart when looking for the potential for loyalty and fidelity, but it comes at a price to the native because they will have felt unloved or unworthy and had to work on that. My friend has this aspect in Capricorn. She is very loyal but insecure but she never sways.

I feel sorry for the guy who writes this too. He cannot relate to people emotionally at all. I praise the patience other members have had and that he has found meditation - there is light at the end of the tunnel. But the way he views people and puts them into boxes and judges women, it is devoid of love and maturity. He’s emotionally debased.

There’s a long journey ahead. The meditation is hope and that he has found a community here. Where is the love and what happened to this guy to make him feel and act this way? I fear a wrong turn could spell disaster.

I’ve been on a journey but there was always love hiding not far beneath the surface. I hope his is not buried too deep.
 

Zeuses

Well-known member
Life is gross.

I mean hey, if others are hitting it, I want my turn in the wh0rehouse. TBH, I won't be aggressive with it but if she is a wh0re which her chart screams she is (and let's face it, most Sag women are loose and don't stick to a man) then I want to get my turn when the chance comes up.

Something does tell me with all of the stuff she has put me through, that in deep hatred or some sort of deep obsessive hatred, there is a passionate lust. Who knows.

Yeah my attitude towards her is just that, she seems to be a wh0re that cannot be trusted but if the chance comes to pump and dump, I am going for it.

Sometimes, I wonder if all I need is to go to a place where prostitution is legal and pump and dump an a$$load of wh0res with early December birthdays.

I am unfortunately attracting too many Aqua women in my life, UGH!

It's all sounding a bit extreme so I'm wondering what transits you may be having at the moment. You have put quite a few posts up about this subject and it seems like you are all over the place with it. Do you have any Pluto transits going on or even Neptune Venus? Although the latter doesn't seem to fit with this last post.
 
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