Why am so feminine (a cis gendered, heterosexual male)?

Phoenix Venus

Well-known member
So you look mainly at the ascendant and its ruler, sun and moon?

Sort of confused.
"Say you have a person with 3 planets in water and that's the most planets in a single element. You wouldn't automatically peg them as having a phlegmatic temperament. "

Wouldnt then you be pegging them as choleric because cancer is choleric?
 

conspiracy theorist

Well-known member
Let me clear the air for you.

When analysing temperament, you would look at the element of the ascendant sign, the planet that rules the ascendant as well as the sign that the ruler of the ascendant is located in.

ex -

Scorpio rising
Element: water - phlegmatic
Planetary ruler: Mars - choleric
Sign of planetary ruler: Libra - sanguine

Then you would look at the sign of the Moon, the phase of the Moon and the sign of the ruler of the Moon

ex -

Sign of Moon: Gemini - sanguine
Phase of Moon: 3rd quarter - melancholic
Sign of the ruler of Moon: Mercury -> Scorpio - phlegmatic

After that, you look at the sun but you do not consider the sign of the sun, but the season of the sun. Note: this is the only time you consider the seasons and nowhere else

ex-

Sun sign: Libra -> autumn: melancholic

In all, you notice that there isn't any predominance of any single temperament but a smattering all over the place. However, in your chart you possess a phlegmatic planet, Venus, partile on a phlegmatic ascendant - Scorpio. So I say that the phlegmatic temperament slightly dominates.
 

conspiracy theorist

Well-known member
I find those homophobic posts have no place here. I have gay friends and that is offensive. I am straight, no matter what you think. Btw they are people just like you and me, so I don't know why you want to imply it's something bad. I don't think you're right as my ******* Venus is blocked. Anyway, if yoy think prefering to suck on female boobies is not hetero lol you're funny. Also the constant drama I have with female friends like "Does she like me", "How can I make her give me a bj" etc. Only with obese and older women I don't ask myself those questions.

Are you talking to me?
 
What is being classed as feminine here?

Leo sun is Masculine, Scorpio moon means no control of emotions and just a complete waterfall.

I see an emotional wreck, and you may see that as feminine, you must have forgotten that humans regardless of sex are emotional beings, just vary in expression and ability.


Noticed you are from Sofia Bulgaria, i visited there, very nice place.
 

conspiracy theorist

Well-known member
The only house that's important is the 1st house. Aspects are relevant when they aspect the ascendant or the Moon. ex - Saturn square the ascending degree therefore there is some melancholic influence to the temperament.
 
Sofia is close to my Jupiter line and Sun lines and I hate living there. That said living on my Pluto line was hell. Now I am living on my Moon line and it is a bit better but I am very emotional here.

So there is no way to tame Scorpio moon? Maybe learning to show my passion and emotions like people from Latin cultures do will release the tension? I know that before my parents made me close in a shell I was much more expressive and happier. But now I find it hard to act goofy again...But I hate that serious facade, I cannot be cold and reserved like Northerners and be happy with that. So maybe USA is not the place for me as it's individualistic, mpre stoic and while extroverted it frowns on men dancing, it's a poisonous place where men are expected to be emotionless creeps. No wonder sometimes thet go mad and shoot people lol. Repressing emotions is bad. I think inside Americans are more passionate than say the Germans so that stoic façade is bad for them.

Perhaps take a Cancer approach, Us Cancers live through emotions, emotion overwhelms us but it's fine because that is who we are, Scorpio does not like to express and hides it, the Moon placement in Scorpio is the worst of them all for a reason.

However if you truly feel comfortable expressing it, do so, it may be the help you need, if not get a close friend to talk to, let out the depths of emotions you have and it will free your mind.

You are not feminine, i do not see you as feminine, i see you as hard on yourself, and yes critical of your father who is perhaps not the best role model in the world.
 
That's the problem. I try to break the shell but I feel anxiety after expressing my emotion although I have the need to express it and in general it feels good in the long term. besides, having GERD and suspected ulcer/digestive issues I have are from undigested emotions so keeping them inside is bad as well. But how can I let go of shame? My emotionally absent mom always scolded me to hide my emotions and my verbally and physically bullying dad did't help either. I know that if one day I have kids I will let them express their personalities, I won't try to force a loud/extroverted child act as an introvert or vice-versa as I know how terrible it is. i just had a regression to let go and forgive my parents, hope it helps. :wink:

Now that I can relate more to other guys and some wounds have started healing, the neglect and abuse by my dad matters less and less. I didn't relate to guys as I felt I am not good enough, not on their level as my dad would always talk trash to me. No matter how good I did or did it's never good enough for him so I no longer care about pleasing him, he's a jerk. I have the power to stop the family tradition of abuse and accumulating of bad karma for the family. In a way I am glad I live 1000 miles away from them and I don't like seeing them that often really as their fights are too much for me. I didn't get the loving family first time, but I hope to create one for myself and my future children. Hope I am happier as a parent than I was as the child in the family. I also find my country of origin's culture suffocating and bipolar - very good at partying but still much more cliquish than Latin cultures for example.

Becoming a man without any healthy role in your life (I never knew my grandfathers) model is hard, but being around other guys helps somewhat and I finally enjoy doing stuff. That's why i do it more and more often - I need someone to show me how to be one, and a good one, not an abusive psycho like my dad.

I have an abusive family, you need to look passed all of this and think of yourself, and harmony, why get wound up over something your dad sends?

Stand up to him, if you don't he will not learn to respect you, and yes he may still not respect you but he will know you will fight back, i do not mean physically hurting him, i'm sure you know a way of telling your father... enough is enough?


As much as i can relate a bit, and i am empathetic, you need to stand on your two feet too.
 
But why I never had a gf (not counting the many flirts in middle school)? I'm always good enough for a friend, never enough for a boyfriend. This *****, I've thought about paying prostitues for sex but they cannot give anything more. And maybe they are slaves really. But this loneliness turns into agression. I want to do something before I do sth stupid. Even if I've been told that from a friend I can turn to her man never happened. I am always friendzoned.

Confidence, and you need to put effort in to reap the rewards.

And never go into it after 1 thing, most women do want someone who is deeply interested in them.
 

GoldenLion12

Well-known member
Rearing? More like psychological abuse. And he used to hit too often, too. Still is too controlling and sends me very long emails preaching to me what kind of nationalities are suitable to make friends with, what languages I should learn, etc. He's totally overbearing and controlling, really. I do everything I can to shred this femininity as it feels like a suffocating shell... I like too two parts only found in the female anatomy to be gay really, sorry for openness. Maybe more of a lesbian in a male body thing haha, as I tend to be manipulative when in the mood? But I try to tone down that, to destroy that energy. It is definitely negative, destructive and leads to nothing good.

Thankfully there has been a certain shift. One day I woke up and I was "What am I doing, this is not me, I don't really like romantic movies, what I really loved and still do inside is comedies, fantasy, action movies, I've always loved cars and being physically active, doing outdoor things, working with my hands.." etc. things mostly associated with the masculine energy. In fact I started feeling suffocated by all that feminine energy around me, I dread tear-jerky romantic movies, and I liked soap operas just because women look good and men are strong there. Pop groups and female artists? I would listen to their music and get panic attacks, it just felt like I become uncentered when I focus on female role models and ignore the male ones. Same for friends, it went to the point where I felt physically sick when I was the only guy in a room full of females...now it's better but again I'm never in this situation and hopefully I'll never be.

I suddenly started trying to rebel and ditched most of my female friends as we really had no common interests (and I felt terrible when they shared too intimate details about their sex lives). I really was just hoping for a GF so I decided to be true with them and all the females I meet from that point on. I even said "No" to two that proposed me "Let's just be friends" as I fell for both of them. No excuses, I'd rather cut them at the start than suffer silently hoping for a thing that will never come true! Now I have very few female friends, mostly older (mother/bigger sister figures) or gfs of my buddies and they're more like good acquaintances that friends really and they're ones that enjoy so-called "guy things" as much as me. Funny thing is I even suddenly started liking bigger and bigger cars like sedans (before I was into the littlest ones like the Ford Fiesta/Yaris and even the up!, now the smallest class I enjoy is the Focus/Golf, but I like more models from the larger classes and I really wonder how could I like those smallest ones) I was also mostly in bright colored cars, now I like even some black/beige ones. :lol: Definitely a shift.

Finally, I'm back to getting together with guy companies and I doing more stuff with guys and that makes me feel more alive, more grounded and stable, more like me. For one thing there is no tension in me wondering like with female friends "Does she like me?", "She would be a great gf/wife material for me", etc. but it's not just that, I need male role models in my life. Also, sorry for this, but I don't find most females that interesting as very close friends. I rarely feel good with having female friends. The tension inside me around most of them was too much. Now I am far more selective and I keep only those that are really nice and open to me, but I don't consider gf/wife material and I make it clear to the others I don't want them in my life as close friends. I know that the reason why I had so many female friends was that I just seeked validation from women (as I wrongly thought I'm not good enough to be equal to other guys dues to my dad's abuse). I no longer seek it and now can connect to guys more easily. :smile:

Strange you say I am Phlegmatic, as I am so NOT into closed/reserved societies like Germanic and Slavic ones but I prefer Latin American/Mediterranean cultures with their openness and extroversion. But even here I feel much better now that I started expressing my feelings more, even if sometimes locals find I'm too open.

I can't see your chart. But I can probably say it sounds like an Introvert (Feminine Energy) Versus (Extrovert) Masculine Energy. Dominate ENTJ's and ESTJ's are very emotionally, mentally, physically, abusive. Prejudice, discriminating, controlling, so I can see where you're coming from if you're an INFJ/INFP, INTJ/INTP, ESFP/ESFJ, and it will make you feel gas-lighted, and insane if your an NF. Intuition and feeling. Your brain is wired differently than a Sensor, Thinker, and science is proving this. So you need to figure out your personality type because it's just easier, quick, and simple. Than come back to astrology and look at your natal chart. If you're at the feminine side of the scales of the 16 personality types, this doesn't mean you're weak. The men and women on that end are usually the one's who are nurturing, empathetic, understanding, compassionate, ethical, moral, and balance the earth. The Sensors and Thinkers serve their purpose in court systems, jails, prisons, and government.

Like I stated, I can't see your natal chart, but my guess is you may be trying to break free of something you can't. I'm an INFJ and a dominate person in my life was ESTJ and most of my life they were trying to transform me. Which is impossible and will push you into insanity, until you learn to set emotional, mental, spiritual, physical, financial boundaries and pull back your personal power. Make peace with being who you are and celebrate being who you are. We all play our parts and serve specifically for certain functions in humanity.
 

HoldOrFold

Well-known member
Hutch, your Mars is square Neptune and Chiron.

This shows a wounded and ephemeral masculinity which could do with some work.

Neptune square Mars goes a long way to explain why you end up with girls as friends instead of as romantic partners. It could suggest that you are hiding your masculine drives and desires from them and so they end up seeing you as just a friend. The way people are interpreting you as gay on here could also be read as Neptune square Mars, as the energy is coming through distorted.

Your desire to embrace masculine friends and let go of your feminine ones reflects your desire to get in touch with your inner masculine energy.

At the moment, you are embodying the low-end of this configuration. But through work, you can embody it's high end. All chart conditions can be sublimated and worked with. Two people with a similar chart configuration might be undergoing the same particular transit. One gets into a car accident and the other only witnesses a car accident. The difference between them is their inner state of evolution.

You should start meditating. In meditation, elements of your ego and karma start dissolving into the void and the elements in your chart start to function at a higher more beneficial level. This is key for all difficult chart conditions, but yours even more so since Mars is under the hold of Neptune. Meditation should really be the foundation of any remedial action you take, otherwise it's often like putting nail polish on dog ****. The type of meditation I'm talking about is just sitting somewhere and staring at a point on a wall for 20 minutes and observing your mind and body. Burred emotions from the subconscious come out from the body and are released over time.

As for practices which increase masculine energy, you should get into Qigong. You are probably disconnected from your lower energy centers. Qigong which focuses on grounding and building qi in your lower dantian area would really help, as will drawing qi down into your testicles. And also lifting weights, particularly squats and deadlifts, working on the lower body with weights heavy enough that you cannot do any more after about 8 reps.

As a last resort, taking ayahuasca with a Shaman would get you to the core of your issues. But you won't need to do that if you meditate enough.
 
What about NoFap? I have post orgasmic ilness disorder. When I climax I lose all my energy for a week, become anxious and depressed etc. Also less masculine. The longer I don't get a release the more life energy I have. Which is terrible when coupled with a high libido. When I waste it I feel terrible for days. Point is why I have this autoimmune issue but it's so hard not to release it. Yet on longer streaks of not touching myself I feel truly myself - more confident, grounded and extroverted. And able to feel happiness.


Sex is perhaps just not the best way for you to express, and that is just fine, not everybody is a sexual person at all.

I'm the complete opposite of you in that regard lol (feeling like i have no energy).

Embrace who you are, sex does not mean you are female or male, there are females who are like you, and males.
 
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stellamora

Well-known member
What about NoFap? I have post orgasmic ilness disorder. When I climax I lose all my energy for a week, become anxious and depressed etc. Also less masculine. The longer I don't get a release the more life energy I have. Which is terrible when coupled with a high libido. When I waste it I feel terrible for days. Point is why I have this autoimmune issue but it's so hard not to release it. Yet on longer streaks of not touching myself I feel truly myself - more confident, grounded and extroverted. And able to feel happiness.

tantra. tantra. taaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaantra
 
Uhmmmm I’m a bit confused here , a font said Virgo is masculine energy!!! Isn’t Virgo a passive sign? What has Virgo got to do with masculine energy as a mutable sign? All earth and air signs are head ruled which makes us logical but Virgo is the least ambitious and stubborn earth sign, as a Taurus we’re ruled by Venus but being symbolized by a bull makes us determined and as a fixed sign , Virgo , Cancer & Pisces on the ascendant can give off very fragile self esteem and toxic femininity so I can honestly relate , I’ve always thought that Capricorn, Scorpio and Taurus placements can give off a bit of assertiveness and discipline, as a font said here that Virgo placements can make one too submissive, shy and naive .
 
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Venus in Gemini is the wife. Gemini Twins masculine energy. There is probably a split between masculine and feminine in that energy.

Mars is masculine, the warrior, and in Aries which is masculine. There is masculinity there to be a military/spiritual warrior mentally.

Moon Scorpio Is mother and feminine energy. Scorpio tends to be dominate and more masculine to me when I deal with Scorpio Moons. Scorpio is listed feminine energy, but in my experience, it’s the disciplinarian feminine and controlling. Stubborn and in the ego. Temper tantrums. Emotion and water.

Jupiter Gemini. Is the husband and again Gemini Twins, and Split, two sides and inner struggle.

Mercury Cancer usually does play into sexuality, and Cancer is feminine energy, and related with the Moon and Mother.

Saturn in Sagittarius is Karma, and also Masculine energy.

Pisces is passive and feminine energy. Chiron Cancer feminine energy.

I can see why you would be conflicted with all the water Pisces, Cancer, Scorpio being feminine and Gemini in the mix.

With Virgo as your AC, this is purity, purification and the way you appear to the world. Virgo is Masculine energy. With North Node in Pisces as your descendent you can either appear to abandon other people in relationships, not showing up in life, by escaping into entertainment, addictions, or others around you can being the same thing mirroring you.

Self-abandonment vs. being abandoned. Rejecting self, vs. Rejecting others. Being Rejected by them. Aries in 8th house can draw plutonian/mars relationships, and you’ll have to decipher what is healthy and not healthy for you. It can be very transforming in the sense, it’s getting a grip on your emotions, thoughts, and feelings, setting personal boundaries with other Aries/Scorpio’s and not allowing yourself to be caught in the domination versus submission co-dependent relationships. Emotional and mental power struggles.

Taurus/Sagittarius will be your teachers in some of these relationships.
Uranus in Sagittarius may have something to do with being hurt be religious/spiritual/psychological theories, dogma, beliefs, and having to heal those inner wounds within yourself. Not allowing it to get to you emotionally, mentally, spiritually, or physically, and staying true to your authentic self.
Neptune in Capricorn in the 5th house of Leo is seeing through the illusions of Entertainment, Systems, Structures, your Peers, and it seems to be something Scorpio Pluto Generation uses is fantasy, fiction, and illusion. Who are they behind the scenes. Dig deeper than face value of their Leo Role Playing on the Internet, Chats, Media. What’s their agenda and motivation.

Scorpio Pluto and Scorpio Moon in the third house has a lot to do with higher communications, thoughts, what you’re thinking, what you believe, and how you process this information in your mind. Are you warring with yourself with negative inner criticism and taking the external worlds inner criticism and turning it on yourself? As third house would also be your neighbors, peers, people you work with, surround yourself. Not allowing them to influence your thoughts, emotions, and feelings.

Saturn in Sagittarius in 4th may be what you’ve inherited within your family tree as negative and positive beliefs, or dysfunctional ways of relating through their jobs, careers, family tree from past generations, and sifting through the religious/philosophical/psychological karma they’ve passed down to you and taking out what doesn’t apply. You may have had educational parents.

You have to heal your Venus (Feminine) The women who have harmed you emotionally, mentally, spiritually, physically, sexually. You may be denying this somewhat, but also Cancer is gravitating toward the feminine, because it’s more nurturing, sensitive, giving, receiving to your Identity.

You have to heal your Mars/Jupiter by accepting you may be the Feminine Masculine.

I would encourage you to go take a Meyer’s Brigg’s Personality Test, because I don’t know if I’m right but you may be an INFJ/INFP, INTJ/INTP, ESFP, ESFJ, and this tends to be the feminine and women and men on the planet, versus the masculine who are ISTJ, ISTP, ESTJ, ESTP, ENTJ, ENTP. Introverts vs. Extroverts. And this all about dominance versus submission in the world.

That will probably give you some answers. Jung found the psychological types from Astrology, it’s just easier to break down that way how it impacts your life.



“With Virgo as your AC, this is purity, purification and the way you appear to the world. Virgo is Masculine energy” Virgo is a feminine passive sign ,and actually the most feminine earth sign , there isn’t much masculinity in this sign as all signs have feminine and masculine energies, it’s the sign of submission, innocence, purity , virginity which is seen as archetypal femininity🌸🌸🌸

Pisces ♓️has so much masculine energy as it is ruled by a masculine planet Jupiter including my sign Cancer ♋️ Which is exalted in a masculine planet, even if the moon is our ruler , we have masculine energy
 
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