Losing hope, suicidal

I don't want to sound like I am feeling sorry for myself. But i need to let it out. My life is seriously falling apart. There are deep family issues happening right now. My grandma suffering with cancer, my dad a severe alcoholic with bipolar dishorder who is constantly being abused violently by his alcoholic mental girlfriend. My head is completely trapped in a haze and i just feel like drifting in the ocean on a raft with no rudder or no map. The terrible news i received last night is to show things wont get better for a long time. I try my best to be strong and fight it but now i feel like im going to explode. I really don't know who to turn to for help. This post goes out to serious people out there if any of you had similar experience then please let me know the right path to take. Because i am not gonna last much longer. I cannot cope with the pain i am going through any more. Plus last night when out with friends, there was a girl with them who I got with a while back who was out with me, we had a one night stand. Ever since then I have developed into really liking her and she has showed that she does herself. Last night I confronted her and told her my true feelings for her which taken a lot of guts to do as I am generally not a very confident person, she said she is seeing someone else and that she is not interested in me. That put me on an even more downer - talk about outright deceit.

I have attached my natal chart with current transits for those interested on taking a look as I am really confused on where to go in my life right now...

First of all, Bradley, before we get to your chart, PLEASE make a promise to yourself that you will seek some help with these extreme feelings of despair. Many of us here can speak with you about very interesting, informative and important things about your birth chart. But we cannot do so if you are truly feeling hopeless and suicidal. If that is the case then you need to call a hotline and get some emergency crisis counseling. Like now...

You are so young with so much life ahead of you. You were born the same year as my oldest child---and that Capricorn stellium of yours is being hit by Pluto and squared by Uranus right now. I know how unsettling and disruptive it feels.

I wish I could reach through the screen and give you a big long hug. Once you get through this difficult time, you will look back and be relieved it is past. Life will get better for you. You have to know that and believe that so we can talk more about your chart.

look at your chart to try and find the part of you that is not hopeless, and not ready to give up. Your Mercury, Venus and Jupiter in Gemini in the 8th are standing up for you. I think the Finger of God, which points to your Jupiter, will protect you and help you remember that you are here for a reason. And you are not done yet. I see a deep inner faith that has guided you through a very rough childhood so far.

You have such a 'heavy' chart. So much water and earth. Lots of air, which lightens the mood. But no Fire, to inspire or energize you when you are down. We need to incorporate some nice energetic fire elements to help you burn through some of this crud that weighs you down.

Please get help, to Bradderz

Bradderz,

This is NOT a suicide counseling station, it does not pretend to be, it does not have the right people, it is not staffed appropriately, it simply doesn't have the ability to give you the help you need. For that reason, the sooner you look AWAY from this forum, the sooner you can look for help in an area where people are going to give you the help you need.

But it CAN point people in the right direction. Forum members on suggest these links:
http://www.suicideprevention.ca/in-crisis-now/thinking-about-suicide/
http://www.cmha.ca/mental-health/find-help/emotional-wellness/
http://www.suicideforum.com/
http://www.takethislife.com/suicide-forums/
http://d2lrevolution.com/no-suicide...ing to Forum rules. Wishing you health, Tim