Kite
Well-known member
ZODIAC COMPUTER VIRUSES
The ARIES virus reconfigures other computers so that your computer gets to download files and images first!
The TAURUS virus backs up all your information on your hard drive without allowing you to delete anything, ever.
The GEMINI virus starts a new search every two minutes for great gossip, while it visits chat rooms, plays internet games, interfaces with your fax and cell phone, runs the printer and keeps track of your appointments all at the same time!
The CANCER virus constantly alerts you with recipes, home decorating ideas, gardening tips, and urgent messages from your mother.
The LEO virus downloads the MGM lion on your screensaver that roars every time you boot your machine.
The VIRGO virus eliminates files and programs that you haven't used in a month and it creates and updates information that can be retrieved alphabetically, numerically, by the file name, subject, size, author's name, date, key words....
The LIBRA virus asks you indefinately if you're sure that you want to turn your computer on, turn it off, delete information or save information, continue on or stay where you are....
The SCORPIO virus automatically installs all the latest stuff you'd REALLY rather not know about from the deepest unsavory depths of the internet.
The SAGITTARIUS virus happily surfs the internet updating and installing information about travel adventures and foreign cultures.
The CAPRICORN virus will continually update you with current events, weather conditions, traffic information, and financial news---and you will learn to like it!
The AQUARIUS virus will randomly re-alphabetize your address list. It will also go into all of your files and spruce up your font colors.
The PISCES virus gives you constant horoscope and metaphysical updates. Then it shuts itself down....
The ARIES virus reconfigures other computers so that your computer gets to download files and images first!
The TAURUS virus backs up all your information on your hard drive without allowing you to delete anything, ever.
The GEMINI virus starts a new search every two minutes for great gossip, while it visits chat rooms, plays internet games, interfaces with your fax and cell phone, runs the printer and keeps track of your appointments all at the same time!
The CANCER virus constantly alerts you with recipes, home decorating ideas, gardening tips, and urgent messages from your mother.
The LEO virus downloads the MGM lion on your screensaver that roars every time you boot your machine.
The VIRGO virus eliminates files and programs that you haven't used in a month and it creates and updates information that can be retrieved alphabetically, numerically, by the file name, subject, size, author's name, date, key words....
The LIBRA virus asks you indefinately if you're sure that you want to turn your computer on, turn it off, delete information or save information, continue on or stay where you are....
The SCORPIO virus automatically installs all the latest stuff you'd REALLY rather not know about from the deepest unsavory depths of the internet.
The SAGITTARIUS virus happily surfs the internet updating and installing information about travel adventures and foreign cultures.
The CAPRICORN virus will continually update you with current events, weather conditions, traffic information, and financial news---and you will learn to like it!
The AQUARIUS virus will randomly re-alphabetize your address list. It will also go into all of your files and spruce up your font colors.
The PISCES virus gives you constant horoscope and metaphysical updates. Then it shuts itself down....
